In Which an Obama of Intermediate Greyness Flies Coach

Just a Regular Guy

Last Photoshop of the year probably.

And by request, first one of the 2012. Like this?:



Part III, The Kimmining:

$500 Million of Your Dollars

Leonardo DiCaprio says thank you. His $100,000 Fisker
Karma couldn't have been built without your loan.

OK so politically connected rich people got richer with your tax dollars. (Occupy!) And the administration framed their "investment" as a caring attempt to make more jobs. (in Finland!) That's not news. What is news is that ABC is reporting it. And if you let the videos run, they even report on Solyndra.

No, the buy-my-side-yard keep-the-money loans are standard; what's surprising is that ABC News is acting like a, well, news organization.

Red Christmas

h/t: Peoples Cube

Best and Worst of 2011

I was going to do an illustrated Worst list but it seems Google beat me to it.


I just knew Scarlett Johansson was going to be in the top ten.

Operation Stupid and Furious

The highest ranking law-man in the US, Eric Holder:

The number of officers killed in the line of duty jumped 13 percent in 2011 compared with the year before — and U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder condemned the increase as “a devastating and unacceptable trend” that he blamed on illegal firearms.

The number of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty rose to 173 this year, from 153 in 2010, the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund announced Wednesday. This year’s figure is 23 percent higher than 122 killed in the line of duty in 2009.

Holder said “too many guns have fallen into the hands of those who are not legally permitted to possess them,” in explaining the increase.

What? Whatwhatwhatwhat?! So perhaps we should track down the suppliers of those guns. Lets start with everyone connected to the Fast and Furious gun walking program.

I guess when you've gotten away with ignoring voter intimidation, and calling the US a nation of cowards, you feel like you'll get away with anything.

But what about guns falling into the hands of "those who are not legally permitted to possess them"? Have you no shame? Shouldn't you have added, "sadly, some of which were supplied by my employees"? What huevos.

Don't fire him Mr Obama. This is a man you need to be closely identified with.

ABO

ABO -- Anyone but Obama.

That's my choice for our next president. I wish Santorum was doing better, and Ron Paul's foreign policy scares me, but I'm pulling the lever for whoever the Republican nominee is. What I don't like thinking about is an independent run by any of the R candidates. Splitting the ABO vote would be a catastrophe, and will lead to a second Hoping and savage Changing. We can't survive that.

Which is why I liked reading this:

Robert Reich suggested yesterday that Hillary and Joe Biden should switch places, to shore up the 2012 Democratic ticket. Prominent blogger Elizabeth Scalia — “The Anchoress” — calls and raises him, saying there’s an opening for an independent bid for Hillary:

Independents ran to Obama in ’08, and they’re running away from him as fast as they can in ’12, but not necessarily toward the GOP, whose current field of candidates seems like 8 tilting vials of nitro-glycerin, just waiting to fall. Offer them a candidate they can associate with a era of “peace and prosperity” — one who many of them happen to like and think got a raw deal in 2008 — and they will careen toward her like seagulls toward dropped bread.

And I don't think a Hillary run is as insane. Think about her situation if there is a third party conservative (or "conservative") in the mix: The R vote gets split, Obama wins, and we have another dreadful four years of recession and over-regulation. So in 2016, how many Americans will feel like voting for a Democrat? Any Democrat?

A one-term R failure would be the best Hillary could hope for. That makes 2020 her next shot at the office. More likely 2024. No, she's got to take another shot now. It's her only opening. Go Hillary! Go!

I know, right? Me getting behind Hillary. But it's ABO. I'll vote for whoever can beat Obama. Most likely that will be a Republican.

And if Trump or Paul throw a tantrum and run independent, they should get ready for the shunning of their lives. I'll shun them til their noses bleed.

Needed My Reading Glasses for This One

I once was Rochambeaued so hard that I could see the entire electromagnetic spectrum, but that only lasted milliseconds.

h/t: lumberbrudi from here

Excitement Today

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today.


At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.15 in her purse.

All I Want for Christmas

I found these on a Russian site so I have no clue about the when and where. I thought it was nice though.

Russian sites -- I never click on a link unless I recognize at least two English letters in the name. Then it's pretty much: fasten your mental seat-belt and wait for the adventure. No matter how many link-jumps you make though, you always end up with pictures of kitty cats and/or beets.

President Bites Child

h/t: Bits

Quik Kat-astrophe

Link:

When Penguins Attack

When it's only 9 seconds it doesn't qualify as a time waster. Unless you watch it a dozen times:



Another pretty short one:



When I was a boy we had to arrange bike accidents as a method for removing baby teeth. We didn't know what a Nerf Gun was. Course, even if Nerf Guns existed back then, the coal mine didn't pay child miners enough to afford one.

How to Photoshop

Fiddling around with Photoshop Elements, I realized that some of you might be interested in how it's done. So when I saw this picture on Daylife, I decided to use it as an example on which to build...


Doesn't it just beg to have the phone cord moved so that it looks like Obama is speaking into the wrong end of the phone?

OK so begin by using the clone tool to erase the original phone cord...



See? Easy. OK step 2, touch up the phone and convert to black and white...


Boom. You're done. Post it on forums, e-mail it to your friends, and get reported to Obama's AttackWatch.com. Step 3, Wait for the call from the IRS.

Merry Christmas to All

Let's keep in mind that it's not about commercialism and running shoes. It's about getting drunk Santas off the street, and good will toward men. It's about the birth of Jesus, though I know some of you don't subscribe. You lot can still share in the good will towards men part, for now. The reeducation camps will be ready for you by next Christmas season. No, just kidding. We hope to have them ready by Easter. No, kidding, there aren't going to be any reeducation camps. (as far as you know) Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

He Loved His Cheetos

Sadly, Kim Jong Il died before he could implement
his master plan to save North Korea. His idea was to
have Angelina Jolie adopt them all, one at a time.

Found

Another wish-I'd-thought-of-that.

People Are Awesome

The title "People Are Awesome" isn't mine. I suppose it would be arrogant of me to make up a title like that, seeing as I've done just about everything in the video.

That thing where you go down the mountain in the snow with sticks on your feet and sometimes you just decide to flip upside down in the air and stuff like that - I do that all the time. And the thing where you're on a bicycle or climbing up a mountain and stuff - I do that too. I sometimes do all that stuff at once and the bicycles and parachutes and snow and stuff gets so tangled up I need to hire a Sherpa to help me untangle it.

You can get hurt doing this stuff too. I slammed my foot in the car door once while unloading my rocket powered wind surfing board. Any wind-surfer can tell you: that really hurts. So usually I just watch Discovery Channel and play with the dogs.

No More Cracks About Big Butts

Politico:

Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner sent a note of apology Thursday to Michelle Obama for referring to her “large posterior” and “big butt,” his spokesperson told POLITICO.

Good. He apologized, as he should have. Maybe we can all put this behind us now.

Economics, It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

Ha, the White House has started a campaign to keep us riled up at those rich people. Feel free to post un-riled up comments too.

You're supposed to tweet and post about the hardship of not getting a two month gimmick FICA holiday. If tax cuts are good (and in general they are during a recession), why not make the Bush tax cuts permanent? Why not tell the EPA to back off on onerous rules that will cost jobs? Why not build a pipeline to create more jobs and thus more taxpayers?

Instead, Obama gives us, "I know, let's bankrupt social security even sooner!"

Old Post Submitted in Error

Every once in a while someone will comment on a very old post. Usually I never see the comment but sometimes, just by accident, I do. So it was with this old post. Anyway, so that it receives the attention it deserves, I moved it up to here.

I should point out that my reply applies to virtually all AWL posts. If it doesn't make sense to you, please understand that it was just a mistake and we won't do it again. Please accept our apologies and keep an eye on that mailbox because a refund check is already on its way to you.

Make a Million Dollars and Never Pay Taxes

Sorry, that title was total false advertising. This post is about this, a chance to beat the computer at rock, paper, scissors. More fun than you'd think, unless you think, "hey, that could be mildly fun."

Christmas Cute

So Long and Thanks for the Fish

Kim Jong Il

If you're waiting for me to make fun of little Kim Jong, well, just try to remember that even the worst of us are loved by someone. I may criticize later, but for now, let's remember the good times. Here he is helping that great humanitarian and wonderful nutritionist, Michelle Hussein Obama at this year's Toys for Tots campaign.

Siri for the Win

dilbert h/t: lumberbrudi

What Does That Even Mean?

I suspect it's easier to buy a unicorn than his education.

Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth

This clip supposedly shows North Koreans crying over the death of Kim Jong-il. I'd like that confirmed by an independent translator though, as this looks suspiciously like the video of South Korean's reaction to Adam Lambert getting edged out on American Idol.

Also, more close-ups would confirm it but it looks like most of this is "dry crying" - just like real crying except no water comes out.

h/t: Ricochet

West Side Story

Protesters in Egypt take a break from confrontation long enough
to put on their version of West Side Story, the Arthur Laurents
adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. "Throwing rocks is hard work but
the music of Bernstein/Sondheim helps you to unwind."

photo via

Get Back to Your TPS Reports

Fantasy vs Reality

Targeted Advertisement

found

James Delingpole on Uncommon Knowledge

Another great Uncommon Knowledge series was completed today. I'm not quite as pessimistic as James Delingpole, but he makes some good points. Let him play in the background as you click around your social networks.

Me, I do little social networking. That means I've set the fonts really really small on twitter. Well, and also I seldom tweet or wall-write.

"Delingpole" - odd name. Do you suppose it came about because some ancestor lost a bet?

Misc. Photoshops

I'm pretty sure I haven't posted these before. I did the first just because Stalin's daughter looked so mischievous. The second, um, because I like deer-head hats.

Good Science

And bad science:

This is an hypothesis that grew out of the observations of one very zealous University of Minnesota nutritionist in the 1950s, a fellow named Ancel Keys, who came up with this idea that dietary fat raised cholesterol, and it was raised cholesterol that caused heart disease. At the time there was effectively no meaningful experimental data to support--I'll rephrase that: There was no experimental data to support that observation. It seemed plausible, though....

Good intentions, is there anything they can't do?

This is another interesting time sink. Dietary fat is used as an example, but the subject here is bad science. Economics even gets tied in. And salt! And Sponge Bob!

OK, not Sponge Bob, but listen to it anyway.

h/t: Shelton

Found

not mine - from the internets

Actual Data

Dilbert

dilbert

h/t: lumberbrudi

Disaster Averted

Luckily singer Victoria Justice got in the way before the
perfect-perfect absolute vacuum paradox was completed.

Card Trick

I do this same trick, only with coins.

Course, my usual comment on this sort of thing is: It's a Photoshop. I can tell by the pixels.

h/t: presurfer

Newt Hits the Big Time

Garrison Keillor

Newt must be doing alright for himself. Garrison Keillor is mocking him in song.

We need Romney to surge ahead for a bit, then Newt, then Romney again... we'll have Keillor dead from whiplash by Christmas.

Scary Stupid

The generation that couldn't think anything through strikes again:

Demonstrators linked to the Occupy Wall Street movement set up pickets from San Diego to Anchorage on Monday as part of a coordinated move to shut down ports across the West Coast. In Portland, they carried signs and shouted slogans near trucks waiting to enter the terminals, effectively blocking operations as many port workers refused to cross their lines.

First off: that is one lazy bunch of guys who will skip work because that don't want to cross what only looks like a picket line. Can any group shut down the ports?

Anyway, second bit: what's choking off commerce going to do? Hurt the rich? Say you could throttle back the economy by 25%. Whose going to feel that? The guy who used to make 4 million a year but now lives on 3? Or the guy who made $40,000 who now must get by on $30,000?

Course they won't have that much influence. But still, stupidity on this scale is scary.

Possibly Fake

My understanding is that dogs are the only domestic pets that can yodel. So there's a chance this is a fake. Probably just a dog in a cat costume.

h/t: presurfer

What a Way to Make a Living

Oh man, copper thieves are dumb. This guy was caught, naked and smoldering at the scene of his brilliant caper. He lived, that's why I used his image. There are plenty of them that didn't make it at the link, though.

I can see being an outlaw. I can see the attraction of a huge payday for not much effort. But these copper snatchers have got the formula exactly backwards. They could make much more money putting copper in. But no, they risk their lives, do hard physical labor, and get paid not all that much for their effort.

At least they're not politicians.

Obama Gets 'Er Done

In true let's-get-this-over-with spirit, Obama lights all the candles at once. I wonder how he pronounced Chanukah. He's burdened with the smarter than thou imperative, so he probably went for the full guttural apocalypse. Which, I'm told, isn't necessary for us goys. Say "Hanukkah" and everyone knows what you're talking about, plus, nobody has to dry their glasses afterwards.

Abandoned Zoos

If you like eerie, there's a ton of creepy abandoned zoo photos here. The abandoned cages are interesting in their own right, but it seems to me that someone is missing a great opportunity to make them awesome.

Why isn't some conceptual artist making giant stuffed animals to populate some of these abandoned zoos? I mean, half the job is already done. You could make art just by dropping off one of those giant carnival Pink Panthers.

Sure, weathering would take place, but that would only make the tableau more disturbing.

Of course, I know why no one's done it yet: No urine or crucifixes are involved so government grant money wouldn't be available. And art for art's sake is well, you know, less profitable.

Can't afford the materials to sew and stuff an eight foot tall crazed rabbit? Blame the 1% for that. But then go swipe a family member's Snuggie and get busy cutting and sewing. I'd do it myself but I spend most of my time visiting the Occupy DC protest; trying to start "What do we want?!" chants. (I've never made it to "When do we want it?" but the laws of probability indicate that some day two random people will chant back the same answer)

By the way:
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes!
When do we want it?
@%**!!?##%&!

When I Put on Red Lipstick

Could be I'm doing it wrong.

Try Getting a Cat to Do This

Wall Street on Trial

Deep Thinking In Progress

"Hmmmmm,"

Serious Thought

One-finger Think

This requires a second finger

Herp-a-derp, derp, derp

Say Goodbye to Those Toes

Cute Enough for Me