Are We Lumberjacks?

TED Talks Sense

2012-01-27T10:04:00.003-05:00

I found this video via One More Middle Aged Guy. He also had a link to an American Enterprise Inst. discussion of it.

Celebration of Western success isn't common at TED Talks. Maybe it helps that Niall Ferguson is British - his message seemed well received. Now if we could just trick Obama into watching this.

The Halo is Back

2012-01-26T23:53:00.001-05:00

This is an image from daylife (credit: JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images) and it looks like it's halo time again. This one is odd too -- I'm going to say the image was manipulated and I don't think you can talk me out of it. (the only way this can possibly happen with the photons I'm used to is by focusing a spotlight directly on the back of his head)

So someone thinks the halo will play again this time around. Either team Obama's lighting director or Jewel Samad. Or both.

Obama is talking up green energy out west. And he's doing it in his perky yes-we-can mode. Which gives me a chance to report on the Green I see at one of the unnamed government facilities I work at.

The little "electric vehicle" I wrote about two and a half years ago has been moved somewhere. (or sold as surplus) As far as I could tell, it wasn't used at all for two years. Annnnnnd.... Another one took it's place. This one looks more like a car, and cost $20,000.00. It's a much more serious vehicle, except that it's top speed is 25 mph. Yeah, it's just another perky golf cart.

Don't be surprised if two years from now I'm posting about how this thing has been taking up space and gathering dust. Unneeded green. Let's just hope that by then we've got a new president.

Reruns

2012-01-26T12:33:00.002-05:00

This is everywhere; now it's here too.

In other video news, I taped Princess of Mars last night. It only had one and a half Tivo stars, but hey, it was about Mars. And a princess. How bad could it be?

Well, it could be pretty bad. In fact, when that horrible Humane Society commercial came on it was kind of a relief. I'm like, "Finally, something with a plot."

Which is why I'm recommending you watch it if you ever get the chance. Then, equipped with a new definition of bad, you'll know what I mean if I say that Obama's presidency is worse than Princess of Mars. Except that, unlike the movie, a presidency can't ever get so bad it's good.

From an IMDb review, one disappointed movie goer wrote: "whoever is responsible for allowing this film should be taken by Edgar Rice Burroughs surviving family, taken outside and summarily executed..."

Got that? Not just the movie makers, but anyone who allowed this film to be made should pay the ultimate price. That's brutal, but understandable.

The Right Tool for the Job

2012-01-25T19:28:00.003-05:00

President Obama inspects a giant screw he commissioned
be built "for my inevitable second term." He refused to
explain its purpose, but he calls it "the taxpayer surprise".

photo via

We'll Just Ignore Them and Maybe They'll Go Away

2012-01-24T20:39:00.003-05:00

When a commissar fell from favor, Stalin would erase him not just from life but from history.

The tactic seemed to work well for Stalin so the New York Times is imitating the old dictator. Their "I don't know what you're talking about" approach to the March for Life is in it's fifth year.

Too bad for the NYT... alternative sources of news now exist. And refusing to cover events because you disagree with their purpose doesn't make them disappear; it just makes you look petty. From last years March:

Yup. It happened. Couldn't find lumberkid in the video but she was there somewhere. (and I couldn't be more proud)

Mac Daddy

2012-01-24T12:39:00.001-05:00

Blingin my eyes to the point of ouchie.

xkcd

2012-01-24T12:32:00.000-05:00

xkcd

Mike Check

2012-01-23T17:24:00.003-05:00

I'm here.

I heard a handful of occudorks tried to Mic-check a prolife meeting last night. It's good to see that they're finally distilling their message down to the essentials (bridges and abortions, apparently), but has there ever been a protest tactic as lame as the mic-check? I mean, it was lame to start with but now it just seems to be something you yell before you start semi to dis-organized chanting. You might just as well yell, "Chicken and biscuits!!"

Occupy Life

2012-01-23T12:26:00.005-05:00

The lumberkid is out at the March for Life again this year, despite a projected high of only 46F.

This is the 39th annual March for Life, and the lumberkid has been going since grade school. She'll join tens of thousands of others and marches will be happening all across the US. Still, the first page of Google News didn't have any March for Life mentions. Ah well.

Poor kid must be freezing in this drizzle. It's hard work being my hero.

You can catch C-Span live video here.

***oh, also:
Google may not have noticed them but the president has.

“And as we remember this historic anniversary [Roe v. Wade], we must also continue our efforts to ensure that our daughters have the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.”
-Barack Obama

I'm pretty sure he's speaking about the sons and daughters who aren't aborted. You know, the lucky ones. Because the aborted ones have fewer rights, freedoms, and opportunities. Lots fewer.

What a prez. I remind you:

Zebra Dance

2012-01-22T11:49:00.001-05:00

Real zebras don't dance like this; mainly they line dance.

I Was Afraid of This

2012-01-19T17:44:00.001-05:00

Now that he's found his element there will be no stopping him.

The Pipeline

2012-01-19T13:32:00.003-05:00

Here's all you need to know about the pipeline. It's been studied since 2008. The State Dept. has issued their final report. (which couldn't have been more pro-pipeline) And the president won't do it until after the election (which may be too late) in order to appease his last six environmental supporters.

Oh, also, here's a picture of Spike Lee.

image via

Train Cats to do This!

2012-01-19T13:07:00.002-05:00

New VW commercial.

h/t: lumberbrudi

SOPA srsly

2012-01-18T13:32:00.004-05:00

Seriously, about SOPA, it's just too much power put into the hands of people I don't trust. The web would quickly become entangled and impossible to navigate. I have no idea where the above picture originated, but if the original creator wanted, he could shut me down. And I'd have to get in line to be turned back on. The way it works now: some guy emails that he doesn't want me using his image and I delete the post.

Or this:

Remember "My Work Here is Done"? I created the image. I put my "LJ" in the bottom right corner and set it free. Shortly thereafter it started traveling. Now it's all over the place and in some places it's lost the "LJ".

All I ask of anyone who uses my images is that they give me credit and/or a link. But it doesn't bother me when they don't.

But here's the thing; there's nothing to stop some wild eyed utopian from saying that the image is his. Sure, I could prove it was mine if it came down to it but it would require a lot of work. And with SOPA, Blogger would have to shut me down until the dispute was resolved.

A few years back, liberal kids were going around flagging every conservative blog they came across as a spam site. Lumberjacks got caught up in it and Blogger shut me down. It took weeks to get reinstated. Blogger has cleaned up their procedure for eliminating spam sites since then, but SOPA would bring back the bad old days with a vengeance. Anyone could shut anyone down.

So, SOPA bad.

These Guys Are Funny

2012-01-18T11:44:00.002-05:00

As a SOPA protest, I will now mwmwmwmwmwmwmwwmwmwmwmwmwm.

I'm Not Always Subtle

2012-01-17T14:28:00.003-05:00

Subtle would have been to change the text to something Obama would say, like "From each/to each" or "We have nothing to fear but stupid republicans and bears." but introduce spelling or grammatical errors.

Maybe, "I am right up there with Lincon and Roosevelt"

or

Notice Anything Funny?

2012-01-17T13:29:00.003-05:00

I suppose someone with Photoshop could make the wall say anything.

But funny part: Notice how the right-hander is painting right to left and the left-hander is painting left to right? It's much easier to paint in the direction that allows you to steady your hand with a little finger or wrist that isn't resting in wet paint.

I wonder if this was a case of "OK Mr president just paint your little dab of blue and we'll finish it."

Bonus: the children didn't get the memo about the first lady's center of gravity:

photo via

Andrew Sullivan Hates Being Ignored

2012-01-16T22:03:00.006-05:00

Sullivan wrote it. Noel reported it. I fixed it.

The original was, "Why are Obama's Critics so Dumb?" - subtext: why, I'm pretty smart.

***note: Sullivan says he didn't write the headline. Also, he says he criticizes liberals in the article as well... Well, I wrote the above headline and I only criticize liberals concerning it.

And fixed further:

I'm hoping Andrew doesn't have a hissy-tweet over this because the article (which I can only assume Newsweek is still mulling over) criticizes many other Andrews, and even a few Clydes.

Anyway, I might not even agree with the headline. I suppose Sullivan might not agree with his headline either. He hasn't said.

Twinkies in the Balance

2012-01-16T12:43:00.002-05:00

AP reports on the Twinkies tragedy:

In Hostess' Chapter 11 filing on Wednesday, the company said its rivals have combined and expanded their reach, heightening competition in the snack space. Hostess' competitors range from Bimbo Bakeries, which makes Entenmann's baked goods, and McKee Foods, which make Little Debbie snack cakes. It also faces competition from larger food makers like Sara Lee and Kraft Inc.

Additionally, Hostess employees are unionized while most of its competitors aren't. As a result, Hostess has high pension and medical benefit costs. The company has 19,000 employees and operates in 48 states.

Most headlines on the bankruptcy make it sound like the Twinkies demise is a done deal. Of course, chapter 11 doesn't automatically mean a company is going out of business. Contracts can be renegotiated, costs can be cut. The union can recognize that its fate is tied to the fate of the company.

But watch: if the company is portrayed as a bunch of fat cats trying to screw the working man, union zealots will negotiate all 19,000 workers out of a job. The company will liquidate and all they'll get out of it is a sense of being wronged by the Man.

If I hear Woody Guthrie playing on the Hostess loading docks, I'm hoarding Twinkies.

Sloth Wash

2012-01-16T09:42:00.002-05:00

Or was it slosh wauth? Stosh losh?

Whatever, the lady says they're "not going to be happy when they find out what we're doing," My question is: how can you tell?

Cat Hatsterson

2012-01-15T00:08:00.002-05:00

See? When they aren't drinking heavily, cats can be as cute as dogs.

via boing boing

About that Wizzle Incident

2012-01-13T12:53:00.002-05:00

Say "thank you", I won't include a picture.

A few thoughts on the regrettable urination in Afghanistan:

If George Bush were president this would be on every front page and would dominate the news from now until the election.

Desecration is disgusting, but it is nothing when compared to the loss of life. Those guys presumably needed killing. They didn't need desecration, but they've lost every sunrise, every meal, every laugh and every pleasure that would have come to them. Desecration is insignificant compared to that.

Islamic extremists don't much care about desecration, or the Geneva convention, when the shoe is on the other foot.

While I think it's wrong, I can understand what motivated it.

I'm having trouble getting worked up over it. Send out a "don't do that" memo and move on.

They're Immanentizing the Eschaton Again

2012-01-13T11:02:00.003-05:00

A tax you pay at the pump:

WASHINGTON — When the companies that supply motor fuel close the books on 2011, they will pay about $6.8 million in penalties to the Treasury because they failed to mix a special type of biofuel into their gasoline and diesel as required by law.

But there was none to be had. Outside a handful of laboratories and workshops, the ingredient, cellulosic biofuel, does not exist.

In 2012, the oil companies expect to pay even higher penalties for failing to blend in the fuel, which is made from wood chips or the inedible parts of plants like corncobs. Refiners were required to blend 6.6 million gallons into gasoline and diesel in 2011 and face a quota of 8.65 million gallons this year.

“It belies logic,” Charles T. Drevna, the president of the National Petrochemicals and Refiners Association, said of the 2011 quota. And raising the quota for 2012 when there is no production makes even less sense, he said.

Penalizing the fuel suppliers demonstrates what happens when the federal government really, really wants something that technology is not ready to provide.

This is like the incandescent light bulb insanity. Your betters decide your lights use too much electricity so they make them illegal. Never mind that there is no acceptable substitute. First they come for the 100 watts, and you don't speak out because you don't use 100 watts. Then they come for the 75's.... And if they had gotten their way, we'd all be awash in mercury from broken soft-serve ice cream bulbs. The fact that every single voter hates those bulbs is the only thing that (hopefully) saved us.

The government wants ethanol, so they crowbar corn into our gas tanks and off of our tables. Meaning we have to pay more for corn and meat. So the government mandates ethanol made from waste cellulose, which doesn't exist. And raises our gas prices because it doesn't.

And this is the balance they've struck. We pay more for gas. We pay more for food. The government gets income in the form of fines which the EPA can use in its quest to fix our lives even further.

I know, by the way, that $6.8 million is a drop in the bucket (har) to the big thinkers in Washington. Look at Solyandra, it's costing us a hundred times that. Look at all the EPA does in its relentless drive to make us sparkle and smell like butterflies. Even if you take out Obama's fraud and kickbacks, they shovel our money into open sewers on an industrial scale.

Here's the thing. The economy isn't great. We shouldn't be "investing" in things we don't want. Not in gasoline made from unobtanium, not in unwanted high speed rail, not in light bulbs that don't light, not in more government agencies to regulate us down to our underpants. We won't improve doctors by making them government employees, or schools by adding second breakfasts.

Couldn't we try not being stupid?

In fact, I think we'd be miles ahead if we could just shut down this government for a while. Give the Chicago swindler a pat on the back and say, "You know, I think you've fixed everything. Why don't you just sit out this last year and try to fathom your own goodness."

Stranded

2012-01-13T00:12:00.001-05:00

Sad news. The LSU football team is still stuck in New Orleans.

Someone painted a 50 yard line in front of their bus.

h/t: lumberbrudi

Guy on the Job Asked Me to Name One Thing That's Gotten Better Under Obama

2012-01-13T00:03:00.001-05:00

Kim Jong Un

2012-01-12T10:46:00.004-05:00

Post say:

TOKYO — Kim Jong Eun, according to propaganda described in a recent Chinese magazine article, learned to drive at age 3. By 8, he could safely maneuver dirt roads at 75 mph. As a teenager, he mastered four foreign languages. He is now learning three more.

How many years before some North Korean wonders out loud how it is that a 3 year-old could reach the pedals and see over the dash. Second question: where will he be buried?

We've All Done This

2012-01-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

Women Love Us Older Men

2012-01-12T09:47:00.003-05:00

They think we don't notice, but we do. They admire us
because we know how to fix light switches and unclog sinks.

Fast?

2012-01-10T16:33:00.002-05:00

Fast? for Justice? and this is day 7? Sounds pretty slow to me.

Just a chance to point out that Obama should have said: "I promise to shut down Guantanamo or at least learn why we must keep it open. And I promise to get right out of Iraq, or at least educate myself as to why it's important to keep to Bush's original status of forces agreement."

image via

Let's Hear His Story

2012-01-10T12:45:00.002-05:00

Saw this on Drudge - the story about how the D's are paying this fired factory worker, Randy Johnson, to dog Mitt Romney:

The 57-year-old described how he worked at a factory making office supplies owned by Smith Corona, which facing bankruptcy, sold his plant to another company, Ampad, that has recently been acquired by Bain Capital. Ampad promptly fired all of the workers at the plant, and then re-hired most of them. Since they were a union shop, and over half of the employees had been re-hired, the new owners were forced to recognize the union. They tried to renegotiate the contract, but the union eventually decided to go on strike, so Ampad shuttered the once-profitable factory.

I think it's cool that the D's are picking up his bills, but I think Mitt needs to ask him up on stage next time out. (not to make light of his situation, but to teach him, and the D's supporting him, the basics of capitalism)

The article states that Smith Corona was facing bankruptcy when it sold his factory. In other words, he was already out of a job. He was in the buggy whip industry: a company making typewriters in a computer/word-processing world. Ampad then apparently tried to make it work. Maybe it could have worked with the plant transitioning to products that were more in demand. Maybe it could have worked with the union making concessions. Fact is, it didn't; it went on strike. So Mr Johnson remained out of a job.

The company isn't named but I'll bet it wasn't profitable when it was sold to Ampad. The article calls it a "once-profitable factory" but that's not the point. In the real world, what matters is the probability of it being profitable in the future.

I think it's a darned shame when it doesn't work, but Randy Johnson needed both Ampad and his union's cooperation in order to revive his job. Not knowing the facts it's impossible to say who was more to blame, but automatically blaming Ampad is stupid.

Romney didn't axe Randy Johnson's job. Ampad didn't destroy his livelihood. The laser printer did. It's unfortunate but there it is.

In a free market, the typewriter makers and buggy whip shops give way to printer makers and auto workers. The answer isn't to prop up the obsolete technology. Randy Johnson needs to move on, even if it's not easy. Lamenting the past doesn't build a thing.

Important Message

2012-01-09T17:43:00.001-05:00

This seems like one I may have already posted. If so; well, here it is again.

via

Cute Happens

2012-01-09T17:21:00.005-05:00

Into each life some cute must fall
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Our Old Friend

2012-01-09T11:44:00.004-05:00

Well color me tickled. I see that Vermin Supreme showed up for the New Hampshire dog and pony show. Vermin, or Virm as I imagine his friends might call him, is the only openly fascist candidate for president. He seems to be for mandatory tooth-brushing, and old fashioned imperialism. So what's not to like?

But, more importantly, he's the only presidential candidate to ever comment at Are We Lumberjacks. And I'm prepared to overlook a little fascism if there's even an outside possibility of a cabinet appointment.

Say what you will, fascism bad, yadda, yadda, but it's hard to think poorly of a man who looks this good in a boot. If Old Spice had a lick of sense, those "your man" commercials would have exploited our natural inclination to trust anyone with a boot on their head.

Welcome back to the national stage Mr Vermin Supreme. You probably smell marvelous.

You Obviously Need a Hug

2012-01-06T11:12:00.002-05:00

No, really, you probably do.

h/t

Cute -- How Pets Play

2012-01-05T11:54:00.002-05:00

Race Carding Wednesday

2012-01-04T12:01:00.001-05:00

Peter Kirsanow via NRO:

In his column posted last night, New York Times editor Andrew Rosenthal asserts: “There is a racist undertone to many of the Republican attacks leveled against President Obama for the last three years.” Rosenthal maintains “you can detect the undertone in the level of disrespect for this president that would be unthinkable were he not African-American.”

Apparently, Mr. Rosenthal was out of the country during the Bush presidency.

I Feel Old

2012-01-04T10:51:00.004-05:00

Wow, via presurfer, I learn that the Commodore 64 is 30 years old this week. This was my first computer. Not everyone thought it was a computer though; I remember a salesman in a DOS PC shop saying, "no, this is a computer shop, we don't sell accessories for toys here. Try Toys R Us." Actually, I think I still have the "toy".

Out of curiosity I checked e-bay: You can buy some commodores for $19.99 so, not antique prices yet. You can get $29.99 for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy though. I checked and yup, I still have my copy of Hitchhikers. It comes on a floppy the size of a dinner plate. It's a text based adventure game written by Douglas Adams himself. I never got halfway through, I'm sure.

Darn it. I have to go to work but now I've talked myself into trying to set up the old beast to see if the game still works.

New year - same old stuff.

Ice Fishing

2012-01-04T10:13:00.002-05:00

ice from Juuso Mettälä on Vimeo.

In which all is not, you know, what it isn't.

h/t: pre

First Science of 2012

2012-01-03T13:57:00.002-05:00

more science

Comments by the Filmmakers

2012-01-03T13:38:00.001-05:00

These guys have the language down.

via

Best Part of All New Years

2012-01-01T22:41:00.002-05:00

A man with a vision of the future.

The Twilight Zone marathon. This one adapted from One More Pallbearer.

What You'll be Listening to in the 2012

2012-01-01T17:02:00.001-05:00

For at least four minutes worth anyway.

Second Found of the 2012

2012-01-01T02:47:00.000-05:00

I know. Seems so unfair.

First Found of the 2012

2012-01-01T02:04:00.000-05:00

In Which an Obama of Intermediate Greyness Flies Coach

2011-12-31T19:33:00.004-05:00

Just a Regular Guy

Last Photoshop of the year probably.

And by request, first one of the 2012. Like this?:

Part III, The Kimmining:

$500 Million of Your Dollars

2011-12-31T15:36:00.002-05:00

Leonardo DiCaprio says thank you. His $100,000 Fisker
Karma couldn't have been built without your loan.

OK so politically connected rich people got richer with your tax dollars. (Occupy!) And the administration framed their "investment" as a caring attempt to make more jobs. (in Finland!) That's not news. What is news is that ABC is reporting it. And if you let the videos run, they even report on Solyndra.

No, the buy-my-side-yard keep-the-money loans are standard; what's surprising is that ABC News is acting like a, well, news organization.

Red Christmas

2011-12-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

h/t: Peoples Cube

Best and Worst of 2011

2011-12-30T17:50:00.003-05:00

I was going to do an illustrated Worst list but it seems Google beat me to it.

I just knew Scarlett Johansson was going to be in the top ten.

Operation Stupid and Furious

2011-12-30T03:10:00.002-05:00

The highest ranking law-man in the US, Eric Holder:

The number of officers killed in the line of duty jumped 13 percent in 2011 compared with the year before — and U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder condemned the increase as “a devastating and unacceptable trend” that he blamed on illegal firearms.

The number of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty rose to 173 this year, from 153 in 2010, the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund announced Wednesday. This year’s figure is 23 percent higher than 122 killed in the line of duty in 2009.

Holder said “too many guns have fallen into the hands of those who are not legally permitted to possess them,” in explaining the increase.

What? Whatwhatwhatwhat?! So perhaps we should track down the suppliers of those guns. Lets start with everyone connected to the Fast and Furious gun walking program.

I guess when you've gotten away with ignoring voter intimidation, and calling the US a nation of cowards, you feel like you'll get away with anything.

But what about guns falling into the hands of "those who are not legally permitted to possess them"? Have you no shame? Shouldn't you have added, "sadly, some of which were supplied by my employees"? What huevos.

Don't fire him Mr Obama. This is a man you need to be closely identified with.

ABO

2011-12-29T12:31:00.002-05:00

ABO -- Anyone but Obama.

That's my choice for our next president. I wish Santorum was doing better, and Ron Paul's foreign policy scares me, but I'm pulling the lever for whoever the Republican nominee is. What I don't like thinking about is an independent run by any of the R candidates. Splitting the ABO vote would be a catastrophe, and will lead to a second Hoping and savage Changing. We can't survive that.

Which is why I liked reading this:

Robert Reich suggested yesterday that Hillary and Joe Biden should switch places, to shore up the 2012 Democratic ticket. Prominent blogger Elizabeth Scalia — “The Anchoress” — calls and raises him, saying there’s an opening for an independent bid for Hillary:
Independents ran to Obama in ’08, and they’re running away from him as fast as they can in ’12, but not necessarily toward the GOP, whose current field of candidates seems like 8 tilting vials of nitro-glycerin, just waiting to fall. Offer them a candidate they can associate with a era of “peace and prosperity” — one who many of them happen to like and think got a raw deal in 2008 — and they will careen toward her like seagulls toward dropped bread.

And I don't think a Hillary run is as insane. Think about her situation if there is a third party conservative (or "conservative") in the mix: The R vote gets split, Obama wins, and we have another dreadful four years of recession and over-regulation. So in 2016, how many Americans will feel like voting for a Democrat? Any Democrat?

A one-term R failure would be the best Hillary could hope for. That makes 2020 her next shot at the office. More likely 2024. No, she's got to take another shot now. It's her only opening. Go Hillary! Go!

I know, right? Me getting behind Hillary. But it's ABO. I'll vote for whoever can beat Obama. Most likely that will be a Republican.

And if Trump or Paul throw a tantrum and run independent, they should get ready for the shunning of their lives. I'll shun them til their noses bleed.

Needed My Reading Glasses for This One

2011-12-29T10:50:00.002-05:00

I once was Rochambeaued so hard that I could see the entire electromagnetic spectrum, but that only lasted milliseconds.

h/t: lumberbrudi from here

Excitement Today

2011-12-29T04:02:00.002-05:00

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today.

At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.15 in her purse.

All I Want for Christmas

2011-12-29T02:45:00.002-05:00

I found these on a Russian site so I have no clue about the when and where. I thought it was nice though.

Russian sites -- I never click on a link unless I recognize at least two English letters in the name. Then it's pretty much: fasten your mental seat-belt and wait for the adventure. No matter how many link-jumps you make though, you always end up with pictures of kitty cats and/or beets.

President Bites Child

2011-12-29T01:48:00.000-05:00

h/t: Bits

Quik Kat-astrophe

2011-12-28T12:52:00.000-05:00

Link:

When Penguins Attack

2011-12-28T12:04:00.002-05:00

When it's only 9 seconds it doesn't qualify as a time waster. Unless you watch it a dozen times:

Another pretty short one:

When I was a boy we had to arrange bike accidents as a method for removing baby teeth. We didn't know what a Nerf Gun was. Course, even if Nerf Guns existed back then, the coal mine didn't pay child miners enough to afford one.

How to Photoshop

2011-12-27T11:55:00.002-05:00

Fiddling around with Photoshop Elements, I realized that some of you might be interested in how it's done. So when I saw this picture on Daylife, I decided to use it as an example on which to build...

Doesn't it just beg to have the phone cord moved so that it looks like Obama is speaking into the wrong end of the phone?

OK so begin by using the clone tool to erase the original phone cord...

See? Easy. OK step 2, touch up the phone and convert to black and white...

Boom. You're done. Post it on forums, e-mail it to your friends, and get reported to Obama's AttackWatch.com. Step 3, Wait for the call from the IRS.

Merry Christmas to All

2011-12-25T02:12:00.002-05:00

Let's keep in mind that it's not about commercialism and running shoes. It's about getting drunk Santas off the street, and good will toward men. It's about the birth of Jesus, though I know some of you don't subscribe. You lot can still share in the good will towards men part, for now. The reeducation camps will be ready for you by next Christmas season. No, just kidding. We hope to have them ready by Easter. No, kidding, there aren't going to be any reeducation camps. (as far as you know) Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

He Loved His Cheetos

2011-12-24T02:44:00.004-05:00

Sadly, Kim Jong Il died before he could implement
his master plan to save North Korea. His idea was to
have Angelina Jolie adopt them all, one at a time.

Found

2011-12-23T16:58:00.001-05:00

Another wish-I'd-thought-of-that.

People Are Awesome

2011-12-23T01:09:00.002-05:00

The title "People Are Awesome" isn't mine. I suppose it would be arrogant of me to make up a title like that, seeing as I've done just about everything in the video.

That thing where you go down the mountain in the snow with sticks on your feet and sometimes you just decide to flip upside down in the air and stuff like that - I do that all the time. And the thing where you're on a bicycle or climbing up a mountain and stuff - I do that too. I sometimes do all that stuff at once and the bicycles and parachutes and snow and stuff gets so tangled up I need to hire a Sherpa to help me untangle it.

You can get hurt doing this stuff too. I slammed my foot in the car door once while unloading my rocket powered wind surfing board. Any wind-surfer can tell you: that really hurts. So usually I just watch Discovery Channel and play with the dogs.

No More Cracks About Big Butts

2011-12-22T14:09:00.003-05:00

Politico:

Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner sent a note of apology Thursday to Michelle Obama for referring to her “large posterior” and “big butt,” his spokesperson told POLITICO.

Good. He apologized, as he should have. Maybe we can all put this behind us now.

Economics, It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

2011-12-22T12:18:00.002-05:00

Ha, the White House has started a campaign to keep us riled up at those rich people. Feel free to post un-riled up comments too.

You're supposed to tweet and post about the hardship of not getting a two month gimmick FICA holiday. If tax cuts are good (and in general they are during a recession), why not make the Bush tax cuts permanent? Why not tell the EPA to back off on onerous rules that will cost jobs? Why not build a pipeline to create more jobs and thus more taxpayers?

Instead, Obama gives us, "I know, let's bankrupt social security even sooner!"

Old Post Submitted in Error

2011-12-21T13:48:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while someone will comment on a very old post. Usually I never see the comment but sometimes, just by accident, I do. So it was with this old post. Anyway, so that it receives the attention it deserves, I moved it up to here.

I should point out that my reply applies to virtually all AWL posts. If it doesn't make sense to you, please understand that it was just a mistake and we won't do it again. Please accept our apologies and keep an eye on that mailbox because a refund check is already on its way to you.

Make a Million Dollars and Never Pay Taxes

2011-12-21T12:00:00.002-05:00

Sorry, that title was total false advertising. This post is about this, a chance to beat the computer at rock, paper, scissors. More fun than you'd think, unless you think, "hey, that could be mildly fun."

Christmas Cute

2011-12-20T13:01:00.000-05:00

So Long and Thanks for the Fish

2011-12-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

Kim Jong Il

2011-12-19T19:16:00.002-05:00

If you're waiting for me to make fun of little Kim Jong, well, just try to remember that even the worst of us are loved by someone. I may criticize later, but for now, let's remember the good times. Here he is helping that great humanitarian and wonderful nutritionist, Michelle Hussein Obama at this year's Toys for Tots campaign.

Siri for the Win

2011-12-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

dilbert h/t: lumberbrudi

What Does That Even Mean?

2011-12-19T11:55:00.002-05:00

I suspect it's easier to buy a unicorn than his education.

Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth

2011-12-19T11:02:00.003-05:00

This clip supposedly shows North Koreans crying over the death of Kim Jong-il. I'd like that confirmed by an independent translator though, as this looks suspiciously like the video of South Korean's reaction to Adam Lambert getting edged out on American Idol.

Also, more close-ups would confirm it but it looks like most of this is "dry crying" - just like real crying except no water comes out.

h/t: Ricochet

West Side Story

2011-12-18T14:39:00.003-05:00

Protesters in Egypt take a break from confrontation long enough
to put on their version of West Side Story, the Arthur Laurents
adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. "Throwing rocks is hard work but
the music of Bernstein/Sondheim helps you to unwind."

photo via

Get Back to Your TPS Reports

2011-12-18T00:53:00.001-05:00

Fantasy vs Reality

2011-12-17T02:37:00.000-05:00

Targeted Advertisement

2011-12-16T12:33:00.001-05:00

found

James Delingpole on Uncommon Knowledge

2011-12-16T12:01:00.002-05:00

Another great Uncommon Knowledge series was completed today. I'm not quite as pessimistic as James Delingpole, but he makes some good points. Let him play in the background as you click around your social networks.

Me, I do little social networking. That means I've set the fonts really really small on twitter. Well, and also I seldom tweet or wall-write.

"Delingpole" - odd name. Do you suppose it came about because some ancestor lost a bet?

Misc. Photoshops

2011-12-15T13:21:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure I haven't posted these before. I did the first just because Stalin's daughter looked so mischievous. The second, um, because I like deer-head hats.

Good Science

2011-12-15T11:10:00.003-05:00

And bad science:

This is an hypothesis that grew out of the observations of one very zealous University of Minnesota nutritionist in the 1950s, a fellow named Ancel Keys, who came up with this idea that dietary fat raised cholesterol, and it was raised cholesterol that caused heart disease. At the time there was effectively no meaningful experimental data to support--I'll rephrase that: There was no experimental data to support that observation. It seemed plausible, though....

Good intentions, is there anything they can't do?

This is another interesting time sink. Dietary fat is used as an example, but the subject here is bad science. Economics even gets tied in. And salt! And Sponge Bob!

OK, not Sponge Bob, but listen to it anyway.

h/t: Shelton

Found

2011-12-14T11:53:00.000-05:00

not mine - from the internets

Actual Data

2011-12-14T11:12:00.000-05:00

Dilbert

2011-12-14T01:30:00.001-05:00

dilbert

h/t: lumberbrudi

Disaster Averted

2011-12-14T01:11:00.002-05:00

Luckily singer Victoria Justice got in the way before the
perfect-perfect absolute vacuum paradox was completed.

Card Trick

2011-12-13T12:29:00.003-05:00

I do this same trick, only with coins.

Course, my usual comment on this sort of thing is: It's a Photoshop. I can tell by the pixels.

h/t: presurfer

Newt Hits the Big Time

2011-12-13T01:21:00.002-05:00

Garrison Keillor

Newt must be doing alright for himself. Garrison Keillor is mocking him in song.

We need Romney to surge ahead for a bit, then Newt, then Romney again... we'll have Keillor dead from whiplash by Christmas.

Scary Stupid

2011-12-12T21:27:00.002-05:00

The generation that couldn't think anything through strikes again:

Demonstrators linked to the Occupy Wall Street movement set up pickets from San Diego to Anchorage on Monday as part of a coordinated move to shut down ports across the West Coast. In Portland, they carried signs and shouted slogans near trucks waiting to enter the terminals, effectively blocking operations as many port workers refused to cross their lines.

First off: that is one lazy bunch of guys who will skip work because that don't want to cross what only looks like a picket line. Can any group shut down the ports?

Anyway, second bit: what's choking off commerce going to do? Hurt the rich? Say you could throttle back the economy by 25%. Whose going to feel that? The guy who used to make 4 million a year but now lives on 3? Or the guy who made $40,000 who now must get by on $30,000?

Course they won't have that much influence. But still, stupidity on this scale is scary.

Possibly Fake

2011-12-12T12:11:00.002-05:00

My understanding is that dogs are the only domestic pets that can yodel. So there's a chance this is a fake. Probably just a dog in a cat costume.

h/t: presurfer

What a Way to Make a Living

2011-12-11T22:11:00.002-05:00

Oh man, copper thieves are dumb. This guy was caught, naked and smoldering at the scene of his brilliant caper. He lived, that's why I used his image. There are plenty of them that didn't make it at the link, though.

I can see being an outlaw. I can see the attraction of a huge payday for not much effort. But these copper snatchers have got the formula exactly backwards. They could make much more money putting copper in. But no, they risk their lives, do hard physical labor, and get paid not all that much for their effort.

At least they're not politicians.

Obama Gets 'Er Done

2011-12-09T17:31:00.002-05:00

In true let's-get-this-over-with spirit, Obama lights all the candles at once. I wonder how he pronounced Chanukah. He's burdened with the smarter than thou imperative, so he probably went for the full guttural apocalypse. Which, I'm told, isn't necessary for us goys. Say "Hanukkah" and everyone knows what you're talking about, plus, nobody has to dry their glasses afterwards.

Abandoned Zoos

2011-12-09T11:38:00.002-05:00

If you like eerie, there's a ton of creepy abandoned zoo photos here. The abandoned cages are interesting in their own right, but it seems to me that someone is missing a great opportunity to make them awesome.

Why isn't some conceptual artist making giant stuffed animals to populate some of these abandoned zoos? I mean, half the job is already done. You could make art just by dropping off one of those giant carnival Pink Panthers.

Sure, weathering would take place, but that would only make the tableau more disturbing.

Of course, I know why no one's done it yet: No urine or crucifixes are involved so government grant money wouldn't be available. And art for art's sake is well, you know, less profitable.

Can't afford the materials to sew and stuff an eight foot tall crazed rabbit? Blame the 1% for that. But then go swipe a family member's Snuggie and get busy cutting and sewing. I'd do it myself but I spend most of my time visiting the Occupy DC protest; trying to start "What do we want?!" chants. (I've never made it to "When do we want it?" but the laws of probability indicate that some day two random people will chant back the same answer)

By the way:
What do we want?
A cure for tourettes!
When do we want it?
@%**!!?##%&!

When I Put on Red Lipstick

2011-12-08T11:11:00.001-05:00

Could be I'm doing it wrong.

Try Getting a Cat to Do This

2011-12-07T11:04:00.000-05:00

Wall Street on Trial

2011-12-06T11:54:00.001-05:00

Deep Thinking In Progress

2011-12-06T11:15:00.002-05:00

"Hmmmmm,"

Serious Thought

One-finger Think

This requires a second finger

Herp-a-derp, derp, derp

Say Goodbye to Those Toes

2011-12-06T11:13:00.000-05:00

Cute Enough for Me

2011-12-05T13:03:00.003-05:00

Cain Out

2011-12-03T17:22:00.002-05:00

It bodes ill for the country that the news media can beat the drum loud enough to kill presidential bids. But it looks like they succeeded in getting Herman Cain out of the race.

And don't think it was these Obamathugsupported (in German it would be one word) women who did it; it was the media and their constant assault. This is the same media that defended John Edwards past the point of absurdity.

I have to say that a Cain presidency would have made me nervous though. And here's why: we just spent 3 years in decline because we elected a guy who was smart enough and good intentioned enough to be president. (though not in my view) Obama had never held an executive position, had barely worked as a Senator before he changed his focus to a presidential run, never held a real job in his life, and was entirely undistinguished in state government. But his perceived intelligence and good intentions got him elected.

Herman Cain is intelligent enough, has worked as an executive in business, is good intentioned (in my view), but has no experience as an elected official. I have no doubt that he'd be vastly better than Obama but I'd have felt better about it if he'd been a governor or senator first.

Now that he's out, I hope he runs for some lesser office. Maybe move and go for Barney Franks old seat. Then, in four years, who knows?

Stunning Ignorance

2011-12-03T16:25:00.003-05:00

I don't understand how an ambassador can be this clueless:

The U.S. ambassador to Belgium, Howard Gutman, recently told a conference hosted by the European Jewish Union that Israel is to blame for growing anti-Semitism harbored by people of Muslim faith.

“A distinction should be made between traditional anti-Semitism, which should be condemned and Muslim hatred for Jews, which stems from the ongoing conflict between Israel and the Palestinians,” Gutman reportedly said, according to the Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth. “He also argued that an Israeli-Palestinian peace treaty will significantly diminish Muslim anti-Semitism.”

At first you think, well at least he's ambassador to Belgium so what could happen; there's some kind of a waffle crisis and he drops the ball? But no, this is also Belgium, home of the EU's headquarters, so our ambassador's stunning ignorance is on display to muckity-mucks from all over Europe.

I really don't doubt that he could be this uninformed through innocent lack of interest in history. But antisemitism on his part could also explain it.

Anyway:

BTW- I'm aware that Gutman is a Jewish name. In fact, Gutman is the son of Polish immigrant and Holocaust survivor Max Gutman. But I stand by my speculation that he could be antisemitic. He could be Jewish like Obama is Christian. My guess: secular humanist.

I'm not sure if his father is still living but if so, Howard might want to ask him what the Jews did to piss off Herr Hitler in the 1930's.

Don't Try This at Home

2011-12-03T16:03:00.000-05:00

h/t: lumberbrudi

Come Warm Yourself by the Fire

2011-12-02T17:19:00.001-05:00

"I need a second term so that I can finish what I started."

Civil War

2011-12-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

While it's true he didn't pick a side in the conflict, Godzilla pretty much killed everyone he came across. And since he was mostly up North, the Union troops were plagued by him through most of the War.

As the late, great, Paul Harvey used to say, "So now you know what Godzilla did in the 1800's."