Good News, Bad News

Do you want the bad news first? The Giant Ducks are TRANSFORMERS!!


The good news is: They only transform into Giant Ducks again.


Oh, wait a minute. That's bad news.

We Welcome Our Giant Duck Overlords

Bill Maher on the Duckzilla invasion, "I just want to remark on everyone else's ignorance. You call the Giant Ducks cowards but they're out there. They're in the mix, every day. I think they're very brave. You people don't understand Giant Ducks at all. It's as plain as the nose on my face."

On the Table?

Did you hear the Barbara Boxer clip about how impeachment should be on the table? She goes on to name several things that she doesn't like about Bush. Why? Does she think you can impeach a president because he has done things you don't like? Actually, I'll bet she does know that. She just knows her audience is too stupid to think beyond their liberal knee-jerk Bushitler. You can be sure that if there was an impeachable crime, it would be her story. A crime that requires impeachment, not an impeachment that requires a crime.

She repeated the lie that she used on Condi Rice: that we went into Iraq for WMDs. There were many reasons the President gave in his State of the Union speech just before we went in. You can google it. Again, her audience isn't interested in the truth. It's simple: WMDs as our only reason for going into Iraq is a liberal invention.

Concerning Saddam and WMDs though, here's Barbara Boxer in November of 2002:

"Iraq made commitments after the Gulf War to completely dismantle all weapons of mass destruction, and unfortunately, Iraq has not lived up to its agreement."

Yukon Cornelius

Before reading the name in the comments, I had no idea who Yukon Cornelius was. But, good news, he and his Yeti (dog?) have joined the conflict.


Bad news is that so far the Yeti only seems to be interested in "romancing" the Giant Ducks. "Romancing" is the term Yukon Cornelius used, "You don't want to know what we call it," he added.

I'll take his word on that.

More Sightings

We now have reports that the Giant Ducks are everywhere. That can only mean one thing: that the Giant Ducks are everywhere.



***Update: Not to worry, help is on the way:



On second thought, it might be wise to move inland:


Ahab: I consign thee to the depths of hell, and from the depths of hell I stab at thee.....
Giant Duck: Quack! Quack!
Ahab: To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee...
Giant Duck: Quaaaaak!
Ahab: for hate's sake I spit my last breath... oh, never mind...

Worse? You ask could it get worse?



It can always get worse. These ones are not only vampires...



.... they're Democrats. That's right, Giant Democratic vampire Jihadi Ducks. If you think about it, it was inevitable.

Meanwhile, up North, the carnage continues..



While in some places they aren't even aware of the problem.... yet.



And who ever thought Greenpeace would do battle on the side of the humans? Go Ducks! Faster!



Out West, Nick Nolte has climbed on top of one and is vomiting on him repeatedly. They say the Giant Duck is weakening. Go Nick! Use your powers on him!




as always, click to ginormalize

Had to Happen

Tim Blair reported a giant duck sighting in France, probably a foie gras related protest. Figures we'd get one too. Ours is (no doubt) connected to global warming though.

Village People

From the Corner:

Re: The Gay Debate [Jonah Goldberg]

Not that I'm endorsing it, but how long until some blogger photoshops the Dem candidates into the guys from the Village People? I say it happens by lunchtime, if it hasn't already.

Never let it be said that I don't do my part for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Even when I don't quite get the reasoning behind the assignment.

Debates

LOGO and HRC have put together a debate on issues of concern to the LGBT community. "We're going to TCB for the LGBT with the DNC" said a VP from MTV and the LOGO network.

If the article had mentioned someone arriving in a BMW I would have at least known what one if those acronyms was. What HRC? ok, something is going on at the Hard Rock Cafe, I got that much. And LOGO, the Lincolnshire Organic Gardeners Organization is going to help out. And my best guess is they'll be addressing the concerns of Large German Bomb Technicians. Well, I think we can all agree that's long overdue.

The GayPatriot has an serious reaction, which I pretty much agree with, "After all, how better to further advance the cause of self-victimization then to have all of the Democrats pander to you for one whole night?"

Typical Presidential Appearance

From the Washington Times Fishwrap:

Bush jokes. Crowd laughs. Girl cries.
A question for President Bush on immigration rose up like a ghost from the grave this afternoon in Ohio.

Only the questioner was a 13-year old blonde-headed girl, Jessica Hackerd, from Brecksville, Ohio, who immediately broke into tears after making her inquiry.

"Mr. President, I know immigration has been a big problem in the U.S. And what is your next step with the immigration bill?" Jessica asked Mr. Bush, during a question and answer period after a speech Mr. Bush gave to a Cleveland business group.

Mr. Bush's sarcastic reply -- a wry "yeah, thanks" -- drew laughter from the crowd of 400. But the attention caused young Jessica, who characterized herself in an interview afterward as very shy, to immediately tear up.

"No, it's a great question. No, I appreciate that," Mr. Bush said, as he saw Jessica's reaction.

Jessica, in the interview, said that she was crying because she was so nervous.

But when the president's sarcastic answer was mentioned, she said, "I heard that too."

Mr. Bush went on to speak more than 1,100 words about the death of his proposed comprehensive immigration reform, which was a heavy blow when it fell apart last month.

But Jessica, there with her parents and younger sister, continued to wipe tears from her eyes for several minutes, and midway through his answer, Mr. Bush again tried to encourage the distraught youngster without drawing too much attention to her.

"It's a great question by the way, and I'm glad you asked it," Mr. Bush said.

But when the president finished taking questions, an aide immediately went to Jessica and took her backstage.

After Mr. Bush had finished shaking hands for over 10 minutes, he met with Jessica and her family.

Just then a wail rose up along with a loud crack, "YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! GET CHENEY IN HERE! HERE, GIVE ME THAT CHAIR!" WHACK! WHACK!

OK, just kidding. Cheney wasn't even involved.
h/t the Corner

Bear Story

BTW, look at how big that bear's head is compared to the basketball.



Anyway:

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a large university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear....

Sorry, have to go here for the rest of the story. Then take a look around - a semi-new blogger doing a good job of it. A Modicum of Decorum.