Signs of the Recession

I have three dogs that will do much the same. (punctuated with chewing on things that aren't really for chewing, barking at things that don't need it, and peeing on anything that isn't quick enough to get out of the way)

Unions Thugging-Up for Labor Day

Peter Robinson grabbed the same quote that popped into my head when I heard Hoffa addressing his brown-shirts:

“At a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized, at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do, it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds."

--President Barack Obama, calling for "a new era of civility" after the shootings in Arizona, January 12, 2011

"They've got a war, they got a war with us and there's only going to be one winner....President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let's take these son of bitches out...."

--Teamsters president Jimmy Hoffa, Jr., introducing President Obama at a rally in Detroit, September 5, 2011

Faster Bob, Faster

BOB from Jacob Frey on Vimeo.

Old Joke is New Again

Golf Jokes

I don't actually golf myself, being pretty much busy with work and pretend lumberjack stuff:

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into more trees. Finally, after banging away several more times, he hit into a sand trap.
All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching. "What club should I use now?" he asked the pro.
"I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"

I plan on pretending to be a golfer when I have more time though:

Over breakfast, a woman asked her husband, "Honey, if I die before you will you remarry?" He's a little surprised, but replies: "Well, we have had a good marriage, and marriage is a good institution ... so, yes, I'd probably remarry."
"And would you bring her to live in our house?"
"Well, we worked hard to pay off the mortgage and it would be silly to move someplace else, so, yes, I think I would bring her to live here."
"Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no way. She's left-handed."

George Clooney Gets the Pronouns Wrong

“As for running for president, look, there’s a guy in office right
now who is smarter than almost anyone you know, who’s nicer
and who has more compassion than almost anyone you know."

You don't know who I know George. You're qualified to judge him smarter than anyone you know. Niceness and compassion? I know a volunteer lunch lady who worked another ten years past when arthritis made every step painful. I know a man who you can't take downtown because he constantly crosses streets seeking out panhandlers. How many hospital volunteers do you know George?

As for smart, please. Lets just say none of my friends were in "The Men Who Stare at Goats," or "The Fantastic Mr. Fox."

Solyndra

"Oh, they were all good ideas but the money
went bad before we could distribute it all."

When the president unfolds his new "jobs creation" program next Thursday lets hope it doesn't boil down to pouring more money into technology that isn't ready for prime time yet. Solyndra, one of our many "investments" just filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy after you and I guaranteed it a $535 million loan earlier this year.

So there's a thousand new jobs that didn't last long. Not that a thousand jobs were a bargain at $535 mil in the first place. See the lady with the box? We could have filled it up with money and just sent her and a thousand others home. Wait, that's pretty much what we did. Except that the workers didn't get the money either.

I'm not even going to say I told you so. I admit that I naively assumed that the "stimulus" would go towards the nation's infrastructure. Bad me for assuming. But not again. People, don't let him con you again.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you, you somanabish.

***update:

OK, this figures:

A solar energy company that intends to file for bankruptcy received $535 million in backing from the federal government and has a cozy history with Democrats and the Obama administration, campaign finance records show.

Shareholders and executives of Solyndra, a green energy company producing solar panels, fundraised for and donated to the Obama administration to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Nicest, most compassionate crook that George Clooney knows.

So when the photons hit the silicone, dollars flow into my pocket, right?

Who is Richard Trumka, and Why is He Running My Country?

AFL-CIO president Richard Trumka and his puppet via DayLife

They Weren't His Favorite Toes Anyway

Thanks, TMI, for alerting me to this story:

A Colorado lumberjack who cut off all of the toes on his right foot after he was pinned by a logging trailer said he had been afraid it would take hours to find him and he might die.

Jon Hutt, 61, used a 3-inch pocket knife to sever his toes from the machinery about half an hour after realising no one heard his cries. He was deep in a forest trying to retrieve a pile of fallen trees to cut up for firewood when the trailer slipped.

This isn't that uncommon, actually. I've cut off toes and whittled on my foot because of intractably knotted bootlaces before. It's just a matter of who's going to be the boss, you or the laces/trailer.

OK not really. In fact, even among pretend lumberjacks like me, nobody goes out in the forest anymore. You can make more money by filling out paperwork certifying that you would be a lumberjack if it weren't for some physical handicap of childhood trauma, and then get the government to pay you for not chopping down trees.

In fact, until they closed the loophole, you could get the government to hire people to chop down the trees for you. You would then tell the hired "timber assistants" to cancel the job. Then you'd get paid for saving the forest; and get paid again for hiring workers from an economically depressed region; and get paid again when you sold the wood that didn't get cut to the government.

I made (or pretended to make) a good living doing this. Finally though, all that imaginary timber took a toll on my back and I couldn't pretend to do it any longer.

Hurricane Irene

More embarrassing for some than for others.

updated: