I think we all know: replace the roll utilizing the over-and-out method.via
Monday, April 06, 2009
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
via
Sunday, April 05, 2009
What a Great Idea
Or, until the fire burns through the wrist. I post this not because it's weird, and it is; but because I remember seeing this picture when I was just a kid. Odd, it took me no time at all to imagine the horror of rushing to the alarm box, saving the day, then burning to death because of it.
***Update: Forgot to credit it to Modern Mechanix. (where you also can find this article on global warming from..... 1953) The culprit? Why, the A bomb, of course. But this climatologist sets the record straight. Seems in 1953 scientists knew we were coming out of an ice age. Somehow that knowledge was lost.
What's old is new again:
Our winters are milder and we are apt to overlook a comfortably warm winter season. But let there be a “day of the great blizzard” and everybody will remember it. Unpleasant weather leaves the greatest impression. Let winds and floods and storms increase and we immediately ask for a Congressional investigation to probe the possible effects of atomic radiation on weather.
If you are still upset, however, and feel you must worry about the distant future of mankind, forget the weather effects of atomic bombs and wonder what would happen if the ice reservoirs of Greenland and all the polar regions let go in one fast melting spree. The level of our oceans would rise about 200 feet. All our coastal cities would be wiped out and civilization would have to retreat to the highlands. As a matter of fact the polar icecaps are already receding at the rate of some 500 feet a year, causing climatic changes and raising the level of the sea about an inch during the last century. This is a sign of things to come.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Their Mothers Must be So Proud
Arson is stupid. Making videos of your arson, and putting them on Youtube is a special kind of stupid:
WATERVILLE, Maine (AP) — Police in Maine say seven teens and young adults have been arrested after a video was posted on YouTube that showed them setting off Molotov cocktails inside a vacated building and then rolled credits naming those involved.
We're Adrift
Yesterday, Barack Obama made his first trip as president to England.
Here is my question: if the President is in England, who’s running General Motors?
- Jay Leno
Friday, April 03, 2009
Cop Fail
In a small town in Texas, the local madam operated a telephone service. The police finally arrested her and seized her big black book in which her talent was listed. Each officer on the force was assigned a group of the names in it and told to check them out. After a week, the Chief called a meeting to get their reports.
When it became the turn of Constable Ralph to tell what he had found, he said, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I think I should disqualify myself. One of the ladies on whom I called is an eighty-four-year-old woman. She is so charming that I have to tell you that I have fallen in love with her."
"Holy cow!" exclaimed the Chief. "I'm sure surprised at you, Ralph. You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here you are, falling for the oldest trick in the book!"
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