Bicycles

A those clever French:

The French are turning Paris into a bicycle zone, pretty much overnight. Even now, astride small alleys and behind boulangeries, paving stones are being ripped to fit 750 bicycle rent "stations."

No not clever as in save-the-earth clever. Clever as in give-the-"youths"-something harder to burn clever. I'm sure a bicycle can be torched but it's bound to be less satisfying. Maybe they can be weaned off burning transportation devices altogether. "Don't complain about the bicycle Marcel, next month we're switching to roller-blades."

A Reasonable Request

It's Working Al

Al Gore is bringing us all together like a big pile of Kumbaya humming flowers.

Mosque cleric Abdul Rashid Ghazi has said, "I will accept martyrdom before surrender...."
President Pervez Musharraf replies, "If they don't surrender, I'm saying it here, they will be killed,"
From somewhere inside the mosque the cry rings out, "They have accepted our terms!"

iPhone

We will use your technology against you, infidel dogs!

That's How We Roll in Glasgow

OK I probably shouldn't admit that I can't understand a word he's saying. But you know, he helped thump the burnt, pepper-sprayed, privates-kicked, terrorist, so whatever he's saying is fine with me. He's John Smeaton, famous terrorist thumper. Have a good weekend.

Testers Needed

You saw the story:

MELBOURNE, Australia - A major condom brand said Friday it expected thousands of applicants for a new unpaid job on offer — condom tester.

Durex said 200 adult Australians — men and women — are wanted to test a range of its condoms.

And I'm sure they will get thousands of applicants. But what about real-world testing? Back in the day, condoms had two uses. First as water balloons, and second, as wallet padding. If I remember correctly, you put a condom in your wallet, then, nine years later, after a permanent "O" had been embossed into the leather, you gave up on ever using it, and threw it out. I remember some of us would name our condoms, some would even whisper encouragement to them. But none of my crew ever encountered a situation in which one could be put to use. Hey, maybe that's why our generation didn't require classes in school on proper condom use. Maybe it wasn't because we were so much smarter than today's youth. Maybe it was because it was obvious that no skills would be required of us until well into adulthood. Probably a good thing too. I can imagine: the sexual revolution happens and half my peers die in condom mishaps. "We've got another one doctor. Dear God, how do you get that many condoms over your head?"

Talk Talk

No, this isn't about talk radio, which issues of free speech aside... wait a minute. Why should we put free speech aside? Never mind, this isn't about that. This is about a new study that says - Study: Women don't talk more than guys

Now my first thought was that this must be accurate. After all, most women only speak once a day. Course, they start at sunrise and don't finish the thought until well after everyone else has gone to bed; but technically it's only once a day.

But then I read the article. It says that the number of words is roughly equal. Really? How can this be, I wondered. Then I realized that this too must be true. What is needed now is a study of how the sexes compare when you take out the 'yes dear's, the 'certainly my darling's, and the 'please go on's.

National Health

Tim Blair is hilarious:

Details emerge of the attempted London bombing:

The London bomb plot allegedly planned by a cell of doctors failed early last Friday morning because a medical syringe used as part of the firing mechanism caused a malfunction, ABC News has learned.

Somewhere in England a patient is wandering around with a detonator in his arm.

The Hero

Can there be any doubt who will win the Jihadi/civilization confrontation?:

A HERO cabbie who took on the Glasgow Airport terror suspects told yesterday how he booted one of them in the privates.

Alex McIlveen, 45, kicked the man, whose body was in flames, so hard that he tore a tendon in his foot.

But he said last night: "He didn't even flinch. I couldn't believe he didn't go down.

"A doctor told me later I'd damaged a tendon in my foot."

So it's clear civilization won this round. "We love death as you love life" is obviously propaganda, what they mean is "we love to talk our idiot brothers into doing stupid things, like you love life." But what better answer can the west give than, "we love to pepper spray, and nad-kick the flaming idiots you've talked into loving death, send more like this."

Of course this whole thing could have been different. Civilized people could have died. But this time, as the Jihadi did a Richard Prior in front of the terminal, burning up, and blind from pepper spray, the Almighty sent him a cabbie. All I can say is, nice going God, that's poetry.

h/t Jonah @ the Corner

Dirty Laundry Here

Here's a tough job: being Al Gore's kid. So I'm sure you've read about the youngster going off the rails in LA:

Al Gore III -- whose father is a leading advocate of policies to fight global warming -- was driving his environmentally friendly car at about 100 miles per hour on a freeway south of Los Angeles when he was pulled over by an Orange County sheriff's deputy at about 2:15 a.m.

The deputy smelled marijuana and searched the car, said sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino.

It has to be rough to do your best tomfoolery, then have your dad's greatest wrath directed at the carbon implications of your shenanigans. "Do you know how much CO2 a joint gives off? I just hope it was locally grown organic!" Never mind the Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, Adderall and Soma found in the car, "dammit, a Prius just burns too much fuel at those speeds!"

And what has to be the worst aspect of the whole blow-up: being in treatment during Dad's Big Woodstock. Instead of snorking coke backstage, little Al will be watching the concert in the Day Room on the Sylvania, next to an unshaven, slightly scary, guy who's swatting at spiders that aren't really there.

Ah, well, stiff upper lip kid. At least half the nation is with you on the old man's hypocrisy.