Are We Lumberjacks?

Friday, July 11, 2008

These guys, where do they come from?

Paul Zachary Myers, a professor at the University of Minnesota Morris, has pledged to desecrate the Eucharist. He is responding to what happened recently at the University of Central Florida when a student walked out of Mass with the Host, holding it hostage for several days. Myers was angry at the Catholic League for criticizing the student. His post can be accessed from his faculty page on the university’s website.

Here is an excerpt of his July 8 post, “It’s a Frackin’ Cracker!”:

“Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers?” Myers continued by saying, “if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I’ll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare....

I'm tempted to pull a DJ doughnut on him. Remember that? Two sets of morning DJ's were caught up in a long running feud. So one morning a girl in a bikini shows up at one of the stations with a dozen-doughnut "peace offering" from the feuding rivals. So they eat them on the air, cracking wise the whole time. But the next day a picture arrives showing the girl and the other two DJ's, naked, holding some of the doughnuts.... only not with their hands.

I say tempted, but I wouldn't want to be a part of his project, and, well also, he may not end up eating the (unconsecrated) cracker when he was done. I'm also tempted to photoshop him into a Koran desecration, to point out that he is only brave and bold in offending those who are instructed to forgive him.

It would be fun to send him a wafer though. They really are just crackers until they've been consecrated, and how would he know if it had been consecrated? He'd have to take it on faith.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Snip-Snip

Watch out, Jesse is proposing a significant change.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Cell Phones

Know how sometimes, when you're at a light, there will be people who want to make a right turn but they can't because you're going straight and you're stopped just a little too far back for them to get to the right-turn ramp? And we all try to pull up as much as possible so that those people don't have to wait through the light, right? It's the ethic of reciprocity, do unto others, and like that.

So today I'm sitting at a light when I notice the guy behind me has his blinker on and is just missing being able to turn by a foot. So I inch up but it's still not enough. Course, that's when I notice that the second car ahead of me has stopped a good two car-lengths behind the next car. And by the way, this light takes forever. You can eat an entire Big Mac and a Happy Meal waiting for this light to change.

So I do the little polite beep of the horn, neep-neep. But the lady is clueless, and I see why: she's talking on her cell phone. So it's a lost cause. She's vaguely aware that something made a little noise outside her car but really, this conversation is so riveting...

Anyway, I give up. Not my problem. I tried.... But wait, her phone call has ended. She wakes up, sees that a battle ship could turn around in the space in front of her, and pulls forward. Victory!

But wait again, the guy in front of me isn't pulling forward. Then I see it, now he's on the phone. It takes him 30 seconds or so but finally he notices and pulls up out of the way. OK, we're good now, I'm right behind him, the ramp is clear.

Well, it's clear, but the guy who wanted to make the turn isn't moving. Why? Come on, by now you know why: he's on the stinkin cell phone. And, he seems to be writing things down.

So, sorry for the long story, but it has a happy ending: It turns out that the vehicle behind the engrossed right-turner was a dump truck that also wanted to turn right, and he wasn't as gentle with his horn. BWAAAAA-BWAAAAAAAAAA! It made my face itch it was so loud. It made the mirrors shake. And with any luck the stopped driver peed himself a little.

I'm going to look into getting a set of those horns.

The Weather

Need an umbrella today? Check the stone.

Just Joking

I'm sure many brunettes have trouble parking too.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

A Cautionary Tale

The Politico has an interesting story:

Shona Robertson-Holmes was a mess. She had crushing headaches, insomnia and adrenaline levels so high that she constantly felt as if she had just stepped in front of a speeding bus. And that’s not to mention her rapidly deteriorating eyesight.

She headed to her family doctor, who recommended that she see two specialists.

But Robertson-Holmes is Canadian, and her state-provided health care gave her a wait time of four months to see a neurologist and six months to see an endocrinologist.....

I don't even have to quote the rest, do I? (she crosses the border, gets proper, prompt, care, and is saved from blindness and death) She went to the Mayo, but most likely would have gotten proper treatment at any American hospital. The trick was getting to the problem before it got worse.

OK, so Michael Moore will not be interviewing her. He would point out, I'm sure, that it cost her $100,000 to get treated. Scandal! I would point out that when you're not dead, $100,000 is a doable number. (21.7 trips to the hooker if you're Eliot Spitzer)

(more stories like Shona's)
h/t: NRO

***Update: video!