Three Things

1.) Cross-hairs don't extend outside the "scope"
2.) Standard dimensioning symbols are a mystery to most everyone in the media
3.) ASME Y14.5M-1994.

Law of the Jungle

Loving Dad

OK, but if you're such a great dad...

why'd it take 40 years to get him that dog?

The Missing Line

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"
-Steven Wright

I remember hearing this joke many years ago and thinking that it really needed an answer to the question. The other old guy needed to say how it went. It bugged me for years. I mean, it was a great joke to begin with but I just couldn't help but think that it needed closure.

Anyway after a few years I forgot that it was a Steven Wright joke. Then, after a few more years I forgot the joke itself. But then, last week, it came to me. I knew what the last line had to be. But fat lot of good it did me, I could no longer remember the joke that needed it.

Anyway, google found the joke, so now I can tell you the line:

and the other old man replied, "You know, I expected more bears."

It's Not My Fault

France's Finance and Economy Minister Christine Lagarde is pictured under a portrait of former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln during an Oval Office meeting between U.S. President Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy (not pictured) at the White House in Washington, January 10, 2011.

Hey, she's the one who decided to stand in that particular spot. I say she did this to herself.


original photo via Daylife

Moment of Silence

Six people are dead; one of them a child. So we should all bow our heads and take a moment to think of how we can use this to our political advantage.

It feels wrong even to respond to the cheap shots. I'll do it in a week or two if I feel my input is needed.

Brave Bunch of Guys

A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes out to fire departments miles around. After crews have been fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $100,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"

The crews try, but no one can get through. Then another fire truck, filled with a volunteer fire company of men over 65, comes roaring down the road and drives straight into the middle of the inferno. The other men watch unbelieving as the old timers hop off of their rig and heroically extinguish the fire, saving the secret formulas.

The company president walks over to reward the volunteers.

"What do you guys plan to do with the money?" the president asks the group.

The firetruck driver looks him right in the eye and answers, "Well, the first thing we’re going to do is fix the brakes on that truck."

via

I Know My Rights

Slight profanity, mostly funny. The audio is so good I'd suspect this could be a Reno911 scene. Still, har.

I think the full phrase is "I know my rights, owwwwie, ouch, hey that hurts!"

Senseless Tragedy

The shooting of Gabrielle Giffords in Arizona was a disgusting act by a deranged man. Apparently this video is also a product of the diseased mind of Jared Laughner.

No, he's not a conservative, he's not a Republican, he's a nutter.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of this senseless act.

Update:

(Reuters) - The doctor treating Representative Gabrielle Giffords for a gunshot wound said on Saturday he was very optimistic about her recovery.

"She's in critical condition," Dr. Peter Rhee said. "The neurosurgeons have finished operating on her and I can tell you that in the current time period I am very optimistic about recovery ... she was following commands.

One child had died and nine other victims were being treated for shooting wounds, Rhee told a news conference at Tucson's University Medical Center.

You're Shoveling Wrong

Another Drudge linked story:

The two neighbours, one man in his seventies and the other in his eighties, disagreed on how to properly deal with removing the snow from the area around their homes.

As the two elderly men were unable to reach resolve their dispute amicably, the disagreement turned ever more heated, soon escalating to a full-out fight, with the men using their snow shovels as weapons.

"Something happened that upset one of the neighbours, who then attacked, while the other one defended himself. It started out with a little shove, then some chaos ensued," Nils-Erik Eriksson, media relations officer at the Jönköping police force, told the local newspaper J-Nytt.

No one was seriously injured in the snowy brawl, although one of the men went to the hospital with a bump on his head and some scratches. The two neighbours have now reported each other to the police for assault, reported the radio station Sveriges Radio Jönköping.

This seems to be one of those silly news stories. Cute, but odd, in a quirky kind of eccentric way. But have you ever seen a Swedish battle shovel? Yeah, didn't think so.

Anyway, this isn't fluff; if you look past the surface, it's serious news. The important question is: Would these ancient shovelers have been so reckless if they had to pay for their own health care? Would either of them have been so bold if they didn't know there was a warm plastic chair waiting for them in a Swedish clinic? A place where they could complain about Lutefisk for the ten hours it took to get their band-aid?

Does state sponsored health care encourage risky behavior in elderly Swedes? That's not a real question - it's the title of my grant application. I figure the American taxpayer can afford to pay me a half million dollars to study this problem. I expect it stands a fair chance of getting approved. And it will be a dead certain winner if I hint that my conclusions will bash Christianity and prop up Global Warming.

I may be a God-bothering gun clinger (Lileks' wonderful term) but I know where the money is.