Tremendously Astounding

You knew the Obamacare decision would create controversy, but who knew it would be this contentious? CBS declares that the decision, and Obamacare itself, are the most wonderful things that could ever wonderfully be wonderful.

MSNBC countered with a cancer survivor who insisted that the marvelous aspects of the glorious legislation are most important. Most amazingly, Obamacare saved her before any aspect of Obamacare that would affect her situation kicked in.

CNN is interviewing people who have actually been raised from the dead by Obamacare and declare it awesomely phenomenal. Benjamin Franklin is being reconstituted as I type this, and Albert Einstein can't be far behind.

I propose we stop this bickering. The White House will decide on the proper adjectives in time. You'll all get the call.