I was going to link to a Smithsonian article about a new probiotic that can prevent tooth decay. At least I think that's what it's about - I decided it wasn't worth killing pop-ups, slide acrosses, and autoplay videos in order to finally get down to what I was looking for.
Anyone noticing more and more irritating ads these days? And then sometimes the autoplay video that wants to rob you of 30 seconds of precious life fails to load properly, and you spend extra time waiting for something you don't want to see in the first place.
It's like we've been transported back to GeoCities personal sites from 1995 - remember when every page had blink tags and twinkly banners? It's like there's a contest to see just how much crap we can fit onto a page now.
But those blinky GeoCities sites had their own charm at least. Sure they'd give you a headache after three minutes, but at least you could see the page, then click onward. This new batch of ad splatter is designed to keep you away from your goal as long as possible.
Anyway it's given me an idea. First, create links to a provocative and compelling "article". Only on the page, don't put anything but ads. The trick will be to layer the ads so thickly that no amount clicking can ever get through to the bottom. You don't even have to position an article underneath it all; no man alive can ever click down to the crux of the biscuit.
Call the article: "New Evidence Points to Sexual Assault Gene in Kennedy Clan" or "Conclusive Proof that Michelle Obama Was Paid $300,000 a Year for Pretend Job" or something along those lines. Or you could even make it fictional.
Now go out there and earn your first million. (and send half to me)