Cat Head From Outer Space

Knock It Off Obama Bashers

The buzz is all over the interwebs about our president bowing down to King Abdullah. Well you guys just knock off the criticism, mm-kay? Our president was just using the power of the backsheesh ipod to buy us some sweet sweet oil. Do you have any idea what an ipod full of Obama speeches is worth? Well alright then.

Smoker's Regret

I guess tobacco smokers who voted for Obama could come to regret it. First a huge tax hike on tobacco products; now this:

The House today approved a bill that would for the first time give the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) the authority to regulate tobacco products.

The legislation, sponsored by Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), passed by a 298-112 vote, culminating a nearly decade-long battle by anti-smoking advocates to grant the FDA regulatory power over the industry.

They'll start out with small demands, sure: no fruit flavors, no advertising on t-shirts, etc. But, face it, you may as well just quit now because the screws will be turned until you do. Rob Reiner will most likely be dead within the week, due to celebratory cupcakes.

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Fish Oil Could Curb Cow Flatulence

From Live Science:

Specifically, including 2 percent fish oil in the diet of cattle reduces flatulence, apparently due to the omega 3 fatty acids in the oil. The study was a small one, however. The technique cut methane output of three cows by 21 percent, said Lorraine Lillis of the University College Dublin.

"The fish oil affects the methane-producing bacteria in the rumen part of the cow's gut, leading to reduced emissions," Lillis said. "Understanding which microbial species are particularly influenced by changes in diet and relating them to methane production could bring about a more targeted approach to reducing methane emissions in animals."

Come on people. A 21% reduction? That's not nearly enough. The only way you're going to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions of cows is to reduce the number of cows. And the only way to reduce the number of cows is to eat more of them. Now get off your butts and get down to that grocery store.

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Protest

I'll bet most of the Anarchists in the streets of London right now have flat screen TV's at home. But be that as it may, guys, hey, don't go straight from grimace to snivel when you get tapped with a police baton. I can stomach the raised fist, but why do you all go all poor-me when the police push back?

I gave this one earrings; just because I could. (and to reinforce proper toilet roll installation)

Press Conference

Cop sets woman on fire, arrests her for being on fire.

Candidate for Obama's civilian security force? possibly:

“I saw someone breaking the law so I arrested them.”

That’s the way Green County Sheriff’s deputy Marcus Horna describes it. The incident he refers to happened last wednesday on highway 311 near the Ghor rd. intersection. Janice Behr was pulled on the shoulder because her tire blew out. Behr called 911 for assistance and Deputy Horna responded to the call.

As he approached the vehicle, Deputy Horna was caught on dashcam footage violating a department policy. Footage shows him walk out of his car with a cigarette clearly dangling from his left hand. Behr, who works for a BP station, had just delivered some plastic cans of gasoline to a local hardware store because of a special trade arrangement the two businesses share. Unknown to Behr, some gas had splashed out onto her back seat. Dashcam footage then shows Deputy Horna, with total disregard for Behr’s vehicle, flick his cigarette into the back seat of her car.

“It seemed managable and this is my only car,” is the excuse Behr offers for trying to put the fire out instead of leaving the car. Footage shows her lean into the back seat and begin smacking at the flames while Deputy Horna looks on. After some seconds, flames can be seen moving to the front seat, where Behr’s right arm catches fire. She then runs out of the vehicle in a panic, waving her arm around like something out of a movie.

But what happens next is the most surprising. Footage shows Deputy Horna rush over to Behr, where he grabs her by the neck and throws her to the ground. Behr believed that Horna was trying to put her out, which he did, but only because he was handcuffing her. Incredibly, Behr can be heard on camera wailing in agonizing pain while Horna drags her up by the very arm that was burning and pulls her back to his patrol car.

When asked to defend his actions Deputy Horna repeated his earlier statement, “I saw someone breaking the law so I arrested them.” When pressed for further comment he added, “The woman leaped out the car with her arm on fire and was whirling about like a maniac so I cuffed her and charged her. It is against the law to do that, you can’t run around with your arm in flames, so I charged her.”

And what was the charge?

“Illegal use of a firearm,” Horna says.

Deputy Horna is currently on paid administrative leave, but is expected to return this month because he is the only person with a key to the garage.

Whoops

Blind Date Gone Wrong

"Obviously I didn't anticipate what you'd be wearing. But if
you're going to complain all evening, I'll go home and change."