Awww man, this makes my stomach hurt. Drudge uses the big font to link to this Reuters story:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Exxon Mobil Corp., the world's largest publicly traded oil company, on Thursday reported quarterly profit surged, driven by rising oil prices.
Net income in the first quarter was $8.4 billion, or $1.37 a share, up from $7.86 billion, or $1.22 a share, a year earlier.
Revenue jumped to $88.98 billion from $82.05 billion.
Crude oil prices have risen steadily from about $20 a barrel in 2002 to over $75 last week, handing oil and gas companies a long-running profit bonanza.
OK, so it's a bonanza. And they publish the numbers too. Look at how profit jumped! An entire 6.4% !!!! on a net income rise of 7.7%. What? Could it be that the headline should have been: We Know You Used to Get High Before Math Class ?
And know what? I had worked out an example to show how my profit would rise with my income in a hypothetical business selling spotted owls as pets, but great googily moogily, if you can't see the math already, there's no point trying to explain it. Besides most of my visitors lately are from Belgium and I'm embarrassed to do a remedial math class for Americans in front of them.
Here's a hint America. Exxon vs (my) Adobe vs Nasdaq:
Another hint: Your reaction shouldn't be, "Let's go get Adobe."
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