Sub Bump

LONDON – Nuclear submarines from Britain and France collided deep in the Atlantic Ocean this month, authorities said Monday in the first acknowledgment of a highly unusual accident that one expert called the gravest in nearly a decade.

British diplomats have been working overtime trying to talk the French out of surrendering. "It's an uphill battle," said one diplomatic aide who asked not to be identified, "We keep telling them that we're not at war, but they assume we're trying to trick them, so they offer more and more land. We're up to everything from Le Havre to Alsace, EuroDisney, and every last painting in the Louvre."