This shouldn't be funny:
A man cut off his own head with a chainsaw in a carefully thought out suicide because he was "irrationally opposed" to leaving his repossessed home, an inquest heard today.
David Phyall, 50, had consumed a small quantity of alcohol but no drugs, and arranged the chainsaw in such a way as to facilitate his suicide.
His elderly parents John and Jean Phyall raised the alarm when they could not contact their son in his ground floor housing association flat in Bishopstoke, Hampshire, on 5 July this year.
Police were called and they broke in asking the parents to stay outside.
Sergeant Mark Carter said he found Mr Phyall in the lounge with blood spattering the walls, floor and a cabinet.
Central Hampshire deputy coroner Simon Burge said to the officer: "It must have been a huge shock to you."
Sgt Carter replied: "In some ways it was sir."
What? "In some ways"? In some ways? The article doesn't go on from there to explain in what ways... or examine the implied ways in which it wasn't a huge shock. And the follow-up question, "Good Lord, are you joking?" was not asked.