Rest Easy

That 3:00 AM call could come at any time. Well, not any time, not until 3:00 AM, but you know what I mean.

Who Remembers Billy Beer?

Remember Billy Carter? He may have been responsible for my conflicted feelings towards his brother Jimmy. Intellectually, I'm still waiting for Jimmy Carter to say the first right thing. He hasn't yet redeemed himself, or really, he hasn't even deemed himself yet. But emotionally, I find myself pulling for him, wanting him to get it right for once.

The reason for that is partly because, back in the day, he came across as at least sincere. Wrong, but sincere. And partly, I feel that way because of his Brother Billy. Can you imagine waking every day, ready to run the country, concerned about Americans held hostage, important questions to decide -- but mainly worried that your brother is off dancing naked and drunk somewhere, celebrating the money the Libyans gave him?

So anyway, Obama might be in a similar situation. CNN says his brother has been arrested by Kenyan police on a charge of possession of marijuana. Rut-roh.

I doubt George Obama's troubles will give me any sympathy for his brother though. Like Jimmy, Barack makes all the wrong choices; but unlike Jimmy, there is no sincerity. Just a cold and calculating thirst for power.

Ping-Pong Penguin

via

Did You Know?

In Asia, sometimes when men feel real sad, they'll put on white
pajamas and cry into stacks of broken tiles.

Equal Pay

I hope they are going to follow through on this, and correct the discrepancy between Illinois state Senator's wives and everyone else. Let's see, $300k a year, in an imaginary job, plus you get to say you're working for the community -- sign me up. I'd even do a real job for that kind of money.

Do As I Say

Not as I do:

'Climate change' moralists are always talking about the need to take responsibility/set an example in the face of the imminent planetary apocalypse. Imagine my surprise, therefore, when I read this:

WASHINGTON — The capital flew into a bit of a tizzy when, on his first full day in the White House, President Obama was photographed in the Oval Office without his suit jacket. There was, however, a logical explanation: Mr. Obama, who hates the cold, had cranked up the thermostat. “He’s from Hawaii, O.K.?” said Mr. Obama’s senior adviser, David Axelrod, who occupies the small but strategically located office next door to his boss. “He likes it warm. You could grow orchids in there.

Think Gore's utility bills have gone down? Think he's quit the private jets? Think Obama will make even one minor personal sacrifice, even a symbolic one, to lower his energy use?

Indubitable

Cannot be dubitated.

Al Gore's Jet is Standing By

Great Dana Milbank today. Read it all, best part was a quote:

The lawmakers joined in. "There are a lot of ways to skin a cat," contributed Isakson, who is unlikely to get the Humane Society endorsement. "And if we have the dire circumstances we're facing, we need to find every way to skin every cat."

What are the chances he would come up with those exact words, which are: my motto, my company's entire mission statement, and, I'm pretty sure, taken directly from my family crest?

BTW -- Forget where I saw it, but we need to ask Al Gore the one question he hasn't been asked yet, "How much money do you stand to make if we go forward with this climate-change legislation?"

Funny Thing

Well, two actually. There's this:



and --

The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has a Silence-Rush-Limbaugh petition page. Because, I guess, Rush says things they don't like. So I commented on it:

People like Rush Limbaugh don’t realize that free speech doesn’t give you the right to say whatever you want. If you’re going to say the wrong things, you should expect to be silenced.

Just a random act. I figured that somewhere in San Fransisco, some stuck hippie would read it and nod his head in approval.

Funny - then I see I'm getting hits from the page. So I go back and examine it more closely: most of the the comments are supporting Rush -- and my comment looks like one of the only ones against him. So people are coming here ready to defend free speech to some liberal d-nozzle. (which, sorry guys, I looked like)

But really, what the hell is the DCCC thinking? That the country has evolved past the need for free speech? Hey DCCC! Free speech is a bedrock thing. It's what America is about. Take it away and it doesn't matter how hip your leader is, it's a broken country.

Power Eggs aren't a substitute for free speech. Look what ruling by African proverbs has done for Kenya. Look what the Bill of Rights has done for us.

Watch Out Spongebob

The sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads were unavailable, apparently. So instead, the U.S. Navy wants to use teams of strobelight-wielding dolphins and sea lions, to protect a nuclear submarine base against enemy swimmers.

The plan, first floated in 2007, enraged local environmentalist groups. Sure, dolphins already patrol the sub base in Kings Bay, Georgia, they argue. But in the waters around Washington state's Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor, flipper and friends would just be too chilly.

Leave it to the animal rights killjoys to complain. What dolphin wouldn't just love to go Rambo on the rest of the sea world with weapons provided by Uncle Sam? Believe me, if they could talk, the dolphins would love this idea.

Stimulus

Feeling stimulated yet? Perhaps you're in the wrong profession:

President Barack Obama’s trillion dollar stimulus plan, has morphed into an appropriations bill devoid of debate. The process forgoes any pretense of targeting unemployed people and resources.

For instance, the bill reads “Provided further, That not less than $140,000,000 shall be available for climate data modeling.” This raises the question of how many unemployed climate modelers are out there pounding the pavement.

When presented with that question, last Friday, Pat Michaels, former president of the American Association of State Climatologists stated “I don’t know one unemployed modeler.”

No, the modelers are already well funded. But if they want to throw money at the problem, I'll take their money. I already know what I'm supposed to find. In fact, I can reach acceptable conclusions before beginning the study.

Morgan Freeman on Country Music

Dumbest President Ever?

Would it be jumping the gun to declare Barack Obama the dumbest president ever, after only 4 days? Maybe, but his latest observations don't make him look like the sharpest brick in the box:

WASHINGTON -- After his daughters got a snow day Wednesday, President Barack Obama wants to see a little bit of "flinty, Chicago toughness" applied locally.

"When it comes to the weather, folks in Washington don't seem to be able to handle things," a joking Obama told reporters Wednesday morning.

"My children's school was canceled today because of what? Some ice."

Obama said his daughters -- Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7 -- pointed out that school in Chicago is never canceled.

"In fact, my 7-year-old pointed out that you'd go out for recess. You wouldn't even stay indoors," Obama says.

"We're going to have to try some flinty, Chicago toughness to this town."

Malia and Sasha Obama attend Sidwell Friends School, a private school in D.C.

Course, I know he's only repeating things he's heard others say. Many people will repeat the "DC drivers can't handle the snow" urban legend. But look at the chart above. No city in the country has a larger influx of commuters every day. No place else even comes close. (and Chicago doesn't even make the list)

This not only makes for some epic congestion, it also makes it harder for road crews to clear and salt the streets. Do the deciders wimp out when it comes to weather related closings? I don't think so. Pretty much they have learned their lessons the hard way, through bitter (cold) experience.

Tell you what Obama. Convince the city to stay open next storm, and see how it works out. As someone who has learned his lessons the hard way, I'll be in the suburbs laughing at the Portuguese Picnic you create.

Doors and Windows

Obviously, the window doesn't realize who it's dealing with:

It looks like President Obama hasn't gotten acquainted to his White House surroundings. On the way back to the Oval Office Tuesday, the President approached a paned window, instead of the actual door -- located a few feet to his right.

Course, had this been Bush, it would be just one more illustration of how incredibly clueless he was.

Tribal Wisdom

All government officials should have the Shaka of Power on their desks. It symbolizes the wisdom learned by tribal chiefs over many generations: that there is a time for surfing, and there is a time for chewing khat, dressing in woman's clothing, and letting loose with the AK-47. It's all about balance.

Put this next to your egg of power and the wisdom will be blinding.

Where's My Tennis Racket?

Cato Ad

"There is no disagreement that we
need action by our government,
a recovery plan that will help to
jump start the economy."
—PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA, JANUARY 9, 2009

With all due respect
Mr.President,that is not true.
Notwithstanding reports that all economists are now Keynesians and that we all support a big increase in the burden of government, we the undersigned do not believe that more government spending is a way to improve economic performance. More government spending by Hoover and Roosevelt did not pull the United States economy out of the Great Depression in the 1930s. More government spending did not solve Japan’s “lost decade” in the 1990s. As such, it is a triumph of hope over experience to believe that more government spending will help the U.S. today. To improve the economy, policymakers should focus on reforms that remove impediments to work, saving, investment and production. Lower tax rates and a reduction in the burden of government are the best ways of using fiscal policy to boost growth.

This is good. Not that it will stop the monster. There's no stopping the stimulus package if the Democrats want it badly enough. They control the government. But we can make sure it is remembered as The Democrat Stimulus Package. So that when it fails, the blame will fall on the culprits.

Best point: the failure of repeated stimulus packages on the Japanese economy in the 1990's. If it didn't work then, why should it work now?

(clickbiggen the graphic to read the names)

Har

I can't get the HTML to work on a firefox-mac, but you get the idea. Chuck DeVore is running for Barbra Boxer's Senate seat, and he came up with the above tax calculator. Clever. When it's ankle grabbing time, humor helps.

Snow Day!

Snowday!Wooo! But really this isn't helpful right now. I have work to do outside. In a younger day I would have thought of it as an adventure, now I get adventured out more easily.

Egg of Power

Michelle Malkin had a note of that silly book of Obama quotes -- really, truly creepy, agreed. But she also found the same people selling the above Egg of Power:

The wooden sculpture that Barack Obama has brought into the Oval Office combines African tribal tradition with a poignant message. Obtained on a 2006 visit to his ancestral Kenya, the “Egg of Power” symbolizes the fragility of chiefly power: According to an ancient proverb, power is like an egg; if it’s held too tightly, it breaks, and if it’s held too loosely, it will slip from grasp.

Oh, cool, ancient wisdom. Umm, but something seems a little off with that folk-nugget, yes? Not to nit pick, but isn't it sort of completely wrong?:



In fact, it's pretty hard to crush an egg. Maybe the old African proverb was about asserting things that sound like they should be true, getting people to believe in them, and then making a wood carving to commemorate the deception. In which case, I'd say it's the right carving for the right man. 100%

***update carving, Got yer nose:


Which is taken from the African proverb of the chief who rules by gotcher-nose: which is played somewhat differently in Kenya, in that actual machetes are used. Gotcher-nose, gotcher-hand, gotcher-leg, whoops, gotcher-head....


And it might just be me, but is anyone else disconcerted by the thought that the leader of the country that pioneered modern democracy might look to an African proverb for wisdom on how to run a country? Or do I make too much of it? Is this like Hillary's "it takes a village to raise a child" (which no, by the way, it doesn't, it takes a parent willing to fight and die for that child), i.e. just words that sound good, but don't bear much thinking about?

Diane Sawyer

null - Watch more free videos
Diane Sawyer promotes: Wine, the often overlooked breakfast beverage.

Science Fair

via

E-Trade Baby Finds Out About the Stimulus Package

yeah, that's me

Two More

Another couple of interesting blogs you might want to check out:
Random Acts of Patriotism
and
The Endive
No, it's not about lettuce.
Read um now, before the government protects you from them.
also, while I'm at it --- Conservative Guy Trapped in a Liberal State

Thank You Color-Change Brush

Seen the new, blue, little red book?

Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, this book is an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama's speeches and writings. POCKET OBAMA serves as a reminder of the amazing power of oratory and the remarkable ability of this man....

If you were around in the sixties this little blue book will ring a bell. The same book was around back then, only it was red, and it contained quotes from Chairman Mao. Every radical was required to carry one in the breast pocket of his army jacket. Sad to say, I owned one. OK, good news: I grew up. Bad news: someone wants to rekindle the cult of the little book. Good news again: most of Obama's quotes don't really say anything. I suppose the pretty prose could serve to keep the stars in the eyes of the true believers but those stars won't be going away soon anyway.

Still I'll look for the blue edge to be sticking out the breast pocket of any Ché, or anarchist 'A', stenciled army jackets I come across. Hint for radicals: if you put a roll of lifesavers in the bottom of your pocket it will lift the book just enough to flash its presence to female radicals in the vicinity. (which, face it, is what it's all about)

More Stimulus Shenanigans

See, We're Better Than That

Were you a little bit offended by that Bush Urinal "art"? Yeah, me too. So, just to show it could be done, you know, should it come to that....

Quibble

Just a little quibble: Politico says that after three days in office, Obama's job approval ratings are starting to normalize. (from 83 down to 68) It's a small point but worth noting, that if this had been a Republican, it would be "drop", not "normalize".

In Some Ways?

This shouldn't be funny:

A man cut off his own head with a chainsaw in a carefully thought out suicide because he was "irrationally opposed" to leaving his repossessed home, an inquest heard today.

David Phyall, 50, had consumed a small quantity of alcohol but no drugs, and arranged the chainsaw in such a way as to facilitate his suicide.

His elderly parents John and Jean Phyall raised the alarm when they could not contact their son in his ground floor housing association flat in Bishopstoke, Hampshire, on 5 July this year.

Police were called and they broke in asking the parents to stay outside.

Sergeant Mark Carter said he found Mr Phyall in the lounge with blood spattering the walls, floor and a cabinet.

Central Hampshire deputy coroner Simon Burge said to the officer: "It must have been a huge shock to you."

Sgt Carter replied: "In some ways it was sir."

What? "In some ways"? In some ways? The article doesn't go on from there to explain in what ways... or examine the implied ways in which it wasn't a huge shock. And the follow-up question, "Good Lord, are you joking?" was not asked.

Unintended Consequences

Does the pro-death camp gloat over this?:

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama on Friday struck down the Bush administration's ban on giving federal money to international groups that perform abortions or provide abortion information — an inflammatory policy that has bounced in and out of law for the past quarter-century.

Obama's move, the latest in an aggressive first week reversing contentious Bush policies, was warmly welcomed by liberal groups and denounced by abortion rights foes.

Because the key word is international. The people who will "benefit" from this aid will be performing abortions in the third world. And the result will be fewer babies of color seeing the light of day. How proud you must be, Planned Parenthood -- looking to the future, misty eyed and proud of your accomplishments, holding hands with the Aryan Nation.

Money

Good grief, I wish my retirement plan offered gold:

Then, on Thursday, Obama's choice to lead the Treasury Department, Timothy Geithner, wrote that Obama believes China is "manipulating" its currency, which American manufacturers say Beijing does to make its goods cheaper for U.S. consumers and American products more expensive in China.

Um, guys? Just what the hell do you expect to accomplish with this? Sure, I like baiting communists as much as the next guy but what is the point of this criticism? It looks for all the world like you're readying us for some form of protectionism. Has the FDR nostalgia made you want to revisit the Smoot-Hawley Act? Couldn't you settle for Art Deco in the White House instead? Maybe dress Michelle up as a flapper?

See, I'm not a trained economist, I have to rely on the experts. But there's one thing that everyone who wasn't asleep, or stoned, in history class learned: protectionism is bad for everyone. I mean this is basic. As Paul Krugman once said, "If there were an Economist’s Creed, it would surely contain the affirmations 'I believe in the Principle of Comparative Advantage' and 'I believe in Free Trade'."

But don't listen to me. Don't listen to Krugman, listen to this:

"We thought in the face of the financial crisis, there would be a spirit of self-criticism beneficial to finding ways of resolving the issue and overcoming the crisis," Su said, adding that it was imperative to avoid any excuses to encourage trade protectionism.

That's right, a communist is schooling you on the basics of capitalism. And he's right.

The only thing that might explain this is that the IRS has decided to prosecute Geithner, and he is preparing an insanity defense.

What If?

h/t wetdry

Oath Retaken

So there were a limited number of print reporters in attendance, and only one picture was taken of the event -- one strangely cropped picture....

Hmmmm, I wonder what they had to hide?

Double Standard

So, for those of you not keeping score: it's bad for the RNC to buy Sarah Palin designer clothes. Bad, bad, bad. But on the other hand, Michelle's got style! Sarah Palin stupidly used a Yahoo e-mail account. How dumb, insecure, and probably only done so she could hide her nefarious republican crimes. On the other hand, the Obama team showed their innovative flexibility by setting up gmail accounts. (innovative, young, bright, dynamic flexibility, weeeee!)

Geithner Pays His Check

"Ok, Ok, I'll admit that it looks like I tried to pay you in Monopoly
money. But I assure you I thought it was real when I gave it to you."

It's never worked, but he keeps trying.

Turbo Tax

Oh this explains why the Geithner can't pay his fair share of tax:

Geithner said he used the popular software program TurboTax to complete his income tax forms in those two years, and he failed to include self-employment taxes in his federal returns.

He said that, to his recollection, the program did not prompt him to report income and pay self-employment taxes.

Funny thing. I also have to pay the self employment tax, I also use Turbo Tax, and I've been able to manage it every year.

In fact, I can't ever remember it being a bump in the road, hard to figure out, or even the least bit puzzling. I wonder if it's prudent to entrust a trillion dollars to a man this challenged by a very simple and straightforward part of the tax code.

Course, we all know he wasn't really flummoxed by the rule, don't we? We know he was just a regular guy trying to get out of paying what the tax code said he should, right? Heck, he even took reimbursement for the tax he says he didn't know he should pay. Sure, we can understand that, we'd all like to cheat as well, right?

Well, that's even worse. I'd like to not pay my self employment tax. I'd like to play dumb and get out of paying my share. But I don't. And this worthless cheat is going to be in charge of money for the Obama team that exhorts us to make sacrifices? They can't pay their fair share and they're asking us to give more? No. No thank you very much. Go fish.

Good News/Bad News

WattsUp found:

“All schools in the Bloomington School District (Minnesota) will be closed today after state-required biodiesel fuel clogged in school buses Thursday morning and left dozens of students stranded in frigid weather, the district said late Thursday.

Rick Kaufman, the district’s spokesman, said elements in the biodiesel fuel that turn into a gel-like substance at temperatures below 10 degrees clogged about a dozen district buses Thursday morning. Some buses weren’t able to operate at all and others experienced problems while picking up students, he said.

Bad news: your kids are stranded in the cold.
Good news: if they can get a straw into the fuel tank, they should be able to survive by drinking used french-fry oil.

This is a little talked about problem with biodiesel. It's what makes those green-drive-across-America documentaries so fun to watch. Even greenheads don't watch them because if they did, they'd notice that they all have some variation of: "Well, it's Day 3 and we're calling repair shops in this town, trying to find someone willing to work on our innovative system..." Course, they always find a guy willing to rebuild the injector pump and replace the filters, and he always expresses an interest in biodiesel. Well sure, $2600 repair jobs are always interesting. "Real innovative system you got here kids, by the way, did I give you my card?"

Speaking of cold
My kid is marching for life today, as she has in years past. Don't expect to see a lot about it on the news. Coverage has always been poor and the media watchword(s) seem to be: "Yes We Can, ignore you again this year!" If there are any news crews out, they'll be scanning the fringes of the crowd looking for the lone, wild eyed, raver, with the sign that warns against Harlots! Coveters! and those who would put government mind-control chips in your butt. Meanwhile thousands will be braving the burr cold, using free speech, dissenting patriotically -- though patriotic dissent seems to have lost its newsworthiness in this era of "I don't want my daughters punished with a baby."

Ah well. All you can do is what you can do. The kids are doing their part. My kid will be in the group of 80, all wearing red scarves that the girls cut in the living room last night. The scarves to show that they're all together, just in case some cameraman goes Colonel Kurtz and films the demonstration against the wishes of the leg tinglers back in the studio.

MacGyver in Your Pantry

A list of extraordinary uses for ordinary, around the house, stuff.

via
Also from Neatorama...

We Win!

Drudge says:
FLASH: Obama was just re-sworn in, the White House map room. Roberts readministered the oath. Gregg Craig there to oversee. Gibbs said: 'One word out of sequence'...
No elaboration, but after reading the Constitution, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to retake the oath. The rules state that now the presidency reverts to McCain/Palin. Yeah! Change averted! Thanks to the evil genius, Chief Justice John Roberts.

Obama and Bush

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Obama's Inaugural Speech

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

I am glad that Obama is steering his ideology back towards the reasonable. Yup, George Bush could have used many of those lines in his inauguration. The big difference is that Obama has the guts to occasionally break into the cadence and intonation usually heard from the black pulpit. To me it sounds like Hillary trying her "southern/black" accent: it just doesn't work. But obviously I'm in the minority in that regard.

Shift in the Newsroom

Lee Cowan inaugrinanity:

.... "Just ordinary street corners like this one here in Chicago fell silent, almost becoming a political cathedral of sorts." Cowan, the man who once announced that covering Barack Obama made his "knees quake," closed the segment by rhapsodizing, "And almost everyone was making that mental scrapbook, noting the time and place where they were on this day and, perhaps, shared a collective tear." It was, he said, "An event meant to be remembered and one meant to be shared."

Note this day. We'll have to see if it's confirmed by birth statistics and sales of Judy Garland CDs, but this may be the day that all the newsmen in America went gay. Chris Matthews was just ahead of the curve.

Follow the Bouncing Cat

Inaugural Dinner

It's also the lumberwife's birthday so I'm fixing this. No, it's not fancy, but it's what she wants. All in all, a good day today.

I caught a slight bit of the Coronation coverage - just enough to hear some sloshnozzel whine about FEMA stopping buses from getting to New Orleans because they only wanted Republican contractors to get the contracts. Can you imagine? This is your guy's day and you can't let go of Bush hatred enough to enjoy the victory? Nuts.

At work, I caught the NPR coverage, which was refreshingly free of whining. And Obama's speech.... hey, it was great. Those of us who volunteer, and do charitable works, will be happy to welcome the new groundswell of Democrat volunteers.

Heh heh heh....

Three days now and nobody's noticed the switch... (clickabiggen)

OK, I could name someone who I'd rather was taking the oath of office today, well, several other people, well in fact, a vast number of other people, even including some former members of the Backstreet Boys. But that's not important. One very important thing is happening today: the peaceful transition of power in the most powerful nation on earth.

Also important is the fact that we've elected a black president. I'd rather it was a Republican black man... but there you are. This is an important first; although I had no doubt that the country was capable of electing a black man.

I suppose this is also sort of a redemption for the Democrat party, partially making up for the fact that it was mostly Democrats who opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 - No longer do they need to be ashamed of the fact that it was a D who tried to bottle the bill up in the Rules Committee of the House, or that it was D's who filibustered it in the Senate.

No, not the outcome I'd hoped for, but we've got a new president, and for the good of the country, we'll give him a chance. Our "patriotic dissent," I hope, will be selective; not just wholesale opposition to everything the man tries to do. That's what we've had for the last several years, and it has been very harmful.

Before the Pounce

"OK, turn around, but very, very slowly..."

Fiddling

As They Floated on the Hudson

The plane came to a stop. The captain gave a one-word command, "Evacuate."
"Way ahead of you, Captain," yelled the old man from the back of the plane, "I did
that when you told us we were going down."

US Airways Flight 1549

Pretty amazing he had the time, what with Inaugural preparations and all.

Christian Republican

Republican Christian

A man is walking through the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front of the little girl’s screaming parents.

The man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the man returns her to her terrified parents.

A New York Times reporter has seen the whole scene and says to the rescuer. “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life,” he says.

“Why, it was nothing,” the man says. “Really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lion’s den long, long ago. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right.”

“I noticed a bible in your pocket — are you a republican?” asked the journalist.

“Yes, and I’m a christian on my way to a bible study,” the man replies.

“Well, I’ll make sure this act won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist and tomorrow’s paper will have this on the front page,” he says before leaving.

The following morning the man buys a copy of the New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on first page:

“Right Wing Republican Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant and Steals His Lunch.”

BBC Breaking News

Lassie, a ginger and white hamster with a closed left eye,
was stolen in her cage along with a computer games console,
a television and a bottle of milk Photo: GETTY

Silly, yes:

Louise Minchin, a presenter on BBC News, the rolling news channel, announced she had "breaking news", before disclosing that the creature had gone missing from a home in Worcestershire.

At the foot of the screen, a caption read: "HAMSTER THEFT - Pet stolen from a flat in Stourport-on-Severn.

Lassie, a ginger and white hamster with a closed left eye, was stolen in her cage along with a computer games console, a television and a bottle of milk.

Police in West Mercia are looking for the pet and the other stolen goods. A spokesman said: "We are surprised this has become breaking news."

And I suspect she was joking with the "breaking news" bit. But what isn't silly at all is what the BBC isn't reporting:

Israeli media reports that Hamas took over the first floor of the building that the BBC offices in Gaza last night and fired rockets from there, trapping the journalists above. Despite the fact that their reporters have now escaped the building, the BBC has so far not said anything about this.

When I was interviewed on the BBC last week, I commented on the pervasive intimidation of the MSM in Gaza, which is one of the reasons that there were none there when the hostilities broke out. I pointed out that the last journalist resident in Gaza, Alan Johnston, now the editor in chief, only survived because he was so openly pro-Palestinian, and even he got kidnapped and brutalized.

“I’ll cut that out to spare you a law suit, my interviewer said. You’re impugning the integrity of a journalist, and without his credibility he can’t practice his profession.” I was at once struck by the combination of concern for reputation and shamelessness involved in such a “favor” to me.

But here’s the BBC, used as human shields by Hamas, and they won’t let the public know.

Is it a stretch to consider that the rockets were launched in the hope that IDF retaliation would kill BBC personnel, thereby strengthening opposition to the Israelis? But somehow it isn't news to the BBC, the people in a unique position to report on what happened.

Kings Of Leon

Another example of lyrics just wrong enough that I can't share it with the kid. Tell me, Leon, would it have ruined the song to change the lyrics to "your dog is on fire"?

Thanks So Much Al Gore

I guess I shouldn't complain. Only God can fight urban legends, and it could be that nothing short of a new ice age can turn around the Al Gore Express. Still, my nether parts got a stiff bluing today. Will Obama cap and trade anyway? Let's hope not. Putting a man in charge who stands to profit from the system sounds like the Chicago way though.

Side note: Stone thought it must have been me who built-a-card using Nick Nolte's famous booking photo. Sorry Stone, somebody beat me to it.

Unbelievable

This is nuts. We have the Church and State working together for the good, and the ACLU determined to stop it:

(CNSNews.com) – The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed suit against the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Monday over its partnership with the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) to fight human trafficking--a modern-day form of slavery--because the bishops conference does not use the money to provide emergency contraception and abortion.

Human slavery is somehow better than assistance that doesn't include abortion. Nuts.

h/t: Pat R

What's Cookin'

Running Out

RB sent a link to a Gawker article about running out of Time cover Obama-configurations. Not to worry I think, there are lots of reader suggestions in the comments. Plus, one from me:


Then there's ASCII art, mosaics made from pictures of puppy dogs... um, and x-rays in profile. Anyway, there's enough to keep it going until we finally figure out a way to get the man's body sweat into the food chain.

Plate We Can

Everything tastes better on the Plate We've Been Waiting For. Comes with the

Awesome Butter Dish, and the Gravy Boat of Hope. And if you order today, you get
the Cup of Broken Dreams, and the Napkin Holder of Despair at no extra charge.

And... was thinking of doing a "teeth you could eat off of" theme but photoshop crashed every time I got his mouth above 180%.

Old People News

Old People News

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | TV & Movie Spoofs

You might have to be old, or know old people, to get it.

When You're Right, Your Wright

And when you're crazy as bat guano, you're crazy as bat guano.

Some Days

"This day just keeps getting worse."

Know Your Ice Cream

I didn't do so good: 6 out of 10, but maybe you can do better. Take the Discontinued Ben & Jerry's Flavor, or Band I Found On MySpace quiz.

Sailplane

How cool is that? Ditch in water with nobody killed, amazing.

And since no one died, I can tell you my first thought when I heard that a plane had gone down in New York, I wondered: Who has PO'd the Clintons lately?

Toasted Orson

Either get the shot in the first few takes, or spit out the wine between takes.

Geithner

It's hard to call it an innocent mistake when you apply for, and receive, reimbursement for the taxes you forgot to pay. I mean, asking for reimbursement sort of indicates you acknowledge their existence, yes?

Yes, Geithner is a tax cheat, and yes, it's a little surreal to put a tax cheat in charge of the IRS, and the largest distribution of taxpayer money in history, but here's something else to think about:

GOP opponents of Geithner should "think this through," said Sen. Orrin G. Hatch, R-Utah., a member of the Senate Finance Committee that's considering his nomination. "They're not going to get anybody better than him from this administration for treasury secretary."

Disheartening.

Match Point

Smash the State

Smashing the State is a young man's game. Still, thank you for playing.

via

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

New Game

Spot the old guy with lots of money.

answer: Yes, the one on the right in the yellow t-shirt.

The Disrespect Offends Us

Can shoes be far behind?

h/t: RB

Every Single Day

Protest!

"OK, well that was fun, but dolly would like to get down
now. Come on, let dolly go now. You're frightening dolly."

Still in Kidding Mode

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.

“Did you know,” says the cop, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”

Awwwww....

more here

Get Back, Monkey Cat

"Ignore their stares, Renaldo. They will never understand our love."

Escalation

"Good Lord, The Israelis have started firing gazebos into Gaza."

Photoshop Tip

"So I was thinking, maybe the Vet's will be too
crowded, and this time of day almost nobody's
chasing squirrels in the park...."

Al (the dentist's nightmare) Franken's teeth can be used to improve almost any pet's mouth. Kittens will pop off the page with Franken choppers.

BTW - Thanks

Wanted to say thanks you guys, to everyone who ordered Amazon stuff through links on AWL. I just got the above ATD-10021 21 Piece 3/4" Drive Socket Set with the commissions. That's three-quarter drive, ie big honkin sockets that can break a toe should you drop one on your foot. My testosterone has been peaking since they arrived.

So thanks. Lots.

Because You'll Believe Anything

Or, at least they think they can get you to believe anything:

While millions of people tap into Google without considering the environment, a typical search generates about 7g of CO2 Boiling a kettle generates about 15g. “Google operates huge data centres around the world that consume a great deal of power,” said Alex Wissner-Gross, a Harvard University physicist whose research on the environmental impact of computing is due out soon. “A Google search has a definite environmental impact.”

Wha? Two searches equal the energy needed to boil a kettle of water? Sounds a little high, doesn't it? Taking my last two searches "Alex Wissner-Gross," (.06 sec), and "skil saw 3104 blade" (.16 sec), that's .22 seconds of google-work getting done in making those two searches.

I didn't have any effeminate earth friendly tea with a picture of a panda on the box, but I did have Lipton, and some Earl Grey, so I brewed up a cup. Took 4 minutes over a gas flame. In the time it took to make those two searches, one fifth of a second, the water only got about 1/1000th done. Put it another way, a thousand burners, on high, could boil a pot in the time it took for those two searches.

I was going to argue that this can't be, but of course it doesn't really matter. The thought of a thousand gas burners flaming up every time I clicked "search" was too much. I re-searched "Alex Wissner-Gross" 20 times while trying to imagine how much snow I could melt with that many BTUs. No, google doesn't really use that much electricity. Alex uses smoke, mirrors too, because he's a smart guy and he knows where research money goes. It goes to people who are willing to advance the proposition that all the things I like to do are destroying the earth. The guy's a genius, which you could learn if you googled his name, but dear God, don't google his name, OK?

Smarter still may be Nicholas Carr (google search= .24 sec) (the man Wired Magazine called "high tech's Captain Buzzkill — the go-to guy for bad news"). From the same article:

Nicholas Carr, author of The Big Switch, Rewiring the World, has calculated that maintaining a character (known as an avatar) in the Second Life virtual reality game, requires 1,752 kilowatt hours of electricity per year. That is almost as much used by the average Brazilian.

Better smoke, better mirrors, he comes up with an even more ridiculous claim. So now Alex Wissner-Gross will declare that all of Providence Rhode Island could be run with the energy we use dotting our "i"s.

Think either Nicholas or Alex curtail their computing because of these "facts"? I'll bet not. Just as Al Gore has not given up even the smallest bit of comfort in order to save the planet. No, he saves the planet to make money, and take money. And he doesn't inconvenience himself doing it. (though he's willing to inconvenience us)

BTW- the second search told me that I need a 62 inch blade for my bandsaw, and that I could probably get it at Sears. This saves me driving all over creation looking for the thing; and probably getting the wrong size anyway. And scientists tell us that trips back to Home Depot to return merchandise consume more energy than has ever been used in all the history of Mexico. Look it up.

I Kid

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!”

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked. “Why not?”

She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb!’”

via

Reservations at the Burn Unit

The Bus

"I'm not saying anything, I'm just asking where's your other hand, is all."

D'oh!

Can you imagine spending your hard earned cash on bus advertisements denouncing Alien Abductions? Me either. But it's important to some people to let us know what they don't believe.

Dress for Success

From 15 Most Unfortunate T-shirts for a Mugshot:




It's heard to fault the guys; how could they know how the evening would end?

NYT Surplus Sale

Got this mint condition keyboard from the NY Times. On
most of the keyboards, this key was worn almost smooth.

***Update: Modified the key; now I need the shipping address for Scarlett Johanssen.

Third-Hand Smoke

NYT, of course:

Parents who smoke often open a window or turn on a fan to clear the air for their children, but experts now have identified a related threat to children’s health that isn’t as easy to get rid of: third-hand smoke.

That’s the term being used to describe the invisible yet toxic brew of gases and particles clinging to smokers’ hair and clothing, not to mention cushions and carpeting, that lingers long after second-hand smoke has cleared from a room. The residue includes heavy metals, carcinogens and even radioactive materials that young children can get on their hands and ingest, especially if they’re crawling or playing on the floor.....

Come on people, everyone knows that the real threat is from barbers, who get the toxins on their shoes after cutting the hair of people who have been around others who live in buildings where smokers once resided. The barbers go home, the dog licks their shoes, then the toxins go to work..... Is it any wonder that 90% of all barbers' dogs are dead by the age of 14?

Come on, science writers. We're never going to accept living our lives in full body condoms; stop pushing the concept.

Protest in Iran

OK, maybe I helped with the translation a little...

Why Newspapers Are In Trouble

Fortune interviews Google CEO Eric Schmidt on the decline of the print newspaper industry:

Is the product the problem?

[Newspapers] don't have a problem of demand for their product, the news. People love the news. They love reading, discussing it, adding to it, annotating it.

Oh quit pussy-footing around it. We all know the number one reason newspapers are failing: Not enough Sarah Palin attack pieces. They had their chance; they had the formula down; then they slacked off. Why, I saw one Wapo issue last week that had less than half a dozen Palin-bash pieces. And they scratch their heads and ask why they're failing. Ha!

Conflicted

Well that's just great. According to a new study, the best job is: mathematician, the worst: lumberjack.

According to the study, mathematicians fared best in part because they typically work in favorable conditions -- indoors and in places free of toxic fumes or noise...

Yeah, not to mention the groupies.

They also aren't expected to do any heavy lifting, crawling or crouching -- attributes associated with occupations such as firefighter, auto mechanic and plumber.

Well there you have it. But what if you like crawling, crouching, and heavy lifting? Which, I do, except possibly for the crouching, and maybe the lifting, but the crawling... you know, I don't mind so much.

Hey, here's the deal: if you enjoy what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. When, well if, I finally retire, I'd rather not look back at the money I've made and be proud; I'd like to look back over the work I've done and want to do it all over again. Course, it's noon so I'd better get started.

Ten Percent Rise Overwhelms

The AP misleads again:

State unemployment claim systems overwhelmed
ALBANY, N.Y. – Electronic unemployment filing systems have crashed in at least three states in recent days amid an unprecedented crush of thousands of newly jobless Americans seeking benefits, and other states were adjusting their systems to avoid being next.

About 4.5 million Americans are collecting jobless benefits, a 26-year high, so the Web sites and phone systems now commonly used to file for benefits are being tested like never before.

Oh noes! Three states! All because of the people Bush fired! But this puzzled me. Me being, like my brother before me, blessed with the superpower called math. How could a rise from 6.1 to 6.7 bring such chaos?

Well you read further to find out that of the three states that crashed: One had a software glitch ("It's designed to handle this volume of calls, but the authentication process didn't work as it should have.") One had a phone line problem. ("Right now, everything is back to normal,") and one was California (which implies, "someone was off getting high.")

Mentioned in passing is this:

Some states attribute the increase in call volume in part to an extension of federal emergency unemployment compensation from 13 weeks to 20 weeks in late November.

"Some states" attribute? OK, it's a quibble, but shouldn't that be: "some states, with access to math, attribute,"? Look, a rise from 6.1 to 6.7 is about 10%, but that is dwarfed by the number of people kept on the rolls by extending benefits for 7 weeks. (54%) And I'm not saying benefit time shouldn't have been extended, just that it has more of an effect than the 10% rise in claims.

Please AP, don't sound the alarm that the system is crashing on a medium where all you have to do is type "e-bay" or "amazon" to see smoothly running systems handling much higher volume.

[/math]

General Gupta?

Change®, You knew it was coming. Me, I was pulling for Dr. House. I'm happy for anything that leaves Dr. Phil and Deepak Chopra crying in their beer though:

President-elect Barack Obama has offered the job of surgeon general to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the neurosurgeon and correspondent for CNN and CBS, according to two sources with knowledge of the situation.

Ah, I feel safer already.

I Fear I May Have Been All Wrong About Obama...

It isn't easy to admit you're wrong. Well, I mean, that's what I've heard. And though I've had no direct experience in the practice, I fear that may soon change:

WASHINGTON, Jan 6 (Reuters) - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama, breaking his silence about the Gaza war, expressed deep concern on Tuesday about civilian deaths in Gaza and in Israel and vowed to push for Middle East peace when he takes power.

Speaking after Israeli tank shells killed at least 40 Palestinians at a U.N. school where civilians had taken shelter, Obama said "the loss of civilian life in Gaza and in Israel is a source of deep concern for me."

Yikes, bold words from the man I called an empty suit. Change and Progress seem to be barreling down the tracks at a hundred miles per hour. I fear they will roll right over us skeptics who said the man stands for nothing.

A sense of impending humiliation consumes me as the bold president-elect with exquisite pectorals declares Yes We Can "monitor the situation!"

IDF and the UN School

Why would the IDF attack a UN school? That's not the question. The question should be: Why does Hamas fire rockets and mortars from positions of concentrated civilian population?


This is from a year ago, but the Hamas strategy hasn't changed: hide behind the skirts of women, conceal yourself among the children. Shame on your lifeless, cooling bodies, Hamas.

Drudge Today

Drudge picked a great pair of pictures for the Reed Refuses piece. I hope we can count on Matt to help document the coming four years of Democrat racism, sexism, and indifference to the poor. Right under that story: "Mishap leaves skier dangling pantsless from Vail chairlift..." Sure, mishap. I, too, used to pretend it was a mishap. "Whoops! No! Not again.."

The Army Runs on Its Stomach

Dymphna found a fairly innovative site, called PizzaIDF.org. The idea is to donate pizza, and other hot and cold foods to the IDF soldiers on the outskirts of Gaza. A worthy cause I'd say.

Only one question: what do you tip the guy who has to serpentine (Serpentine! Serpentine!) his way under fire in order to get the pizza to you within the promised half hour?

Quick Fiddle

With apologies to Gary Larson and Sloan Kettering, I think.

Franken Quote

"Democracy demands that we count each and every.... what?
Oh, I am? ok, um, democracy demands that we end this thing right now."
-Al Franken

FARS News

Maybe, could be, Fars is at it again. Doesn't this debris look a little huge when you consider perspective?:


And I'll admit this could just be my Western eyes' inability to notice subtle differences in Middle Eastern faces, but doesn't this look like Green Helmet Guy?:



Green Helmet Guy, you may remember, was an accomplished holder of wounded and dead children in Lebanon. But these pictures are reported to be from Gaza. Maybe a talent like his knows no borders.

Corrupt Politicians

Warner Todd Huston writes at Newsbusters:

Showing they have no sense of morality, no grasp of corruption and no understanding of what defines a criminal, CNN gives us another one of those ubiquitous year in review stories, this one titled "Politicians who fell from grace in 2008." In this one, CNN has decided to reveal for us their top eight politicians that found 2008 to be a "career-buster" because of their "crimes and misdemeanors" or their outrageous controversies.

CNN features corruption mired Rod Blagojevich, the sex crazed Elliot Spitzer and John Edwards, and the criminal bribe taker Ted Stevens among four others. Each of these men in the CNN list have either been convicted of criminal actions, are indicted for corruption, lost their positions, been drummed out of their party, or are soon to face jail time. Among these eight criminals, however, is a name that doesn't belong among this class of serial abuser of the public trust. It won't be shocking to note that among the worst sex criminals, bribe takers, liars and thieves in politics for 2008, CNN ridiculously included the name of Governor Sarah Palin.

Palin, however, has done nothing remotely like what these other political ner-do-wells have done....

Well, there was that turkey thing... yeah, maybe America will forgive her one day. But what did she really do to become "disgraced"? She got in the way of the Obama train. She became the target of leftist "news outlets" like CNN who set out to destroy anything that threatened their candidate. The extent of their hatred is illustrated by the fact that they still can't let it go and the election has been over for almost two months.

What do you bet that a year from now the media is still finding ways to bash Bush, Sarah, and Joe the Plumber?

Fred Thompson Makes Sense

Far Side in Real Life

You can find many more Far Side cartoon reenactments here. I saw this and immediately wanted to dig out the old Far Side calendar and make my own. Sadly, the basement monster seems to have swallowed up my Far Side Gallery.

And plus, my computer got retasked to make movies for a lumberkid school project. You can make movies on a PC, but it's a complicated process and usually boils down to giving the PC to some guy with a Mac in trade for making the movie for you.

Disabled Duck Inspires

Heartwarming story. And all I can think of is Hoisin sauce.

Cue the Sad Violins

For years, even before 9-11, slightly tipsy, or even sober airline passengers would get yanked from the plane for making what they thought would be funny remarks about hijackings or bombs. Remember? I always assumed it was stupid people, maybe a little afraid of flying in the first place... but still, the first thought was always, "what an idiot."

So when a Muslim decides it would be appropriate to discuss the security of sitting next to the engines while boarding, I have no problem at all with booting him, and his party off the plane:

"My brother and his wife were discussing some aspect of airport security," Irfan said. "The only thing my brother said was, 'Wow, the jets are right next to my window.' I think they were remarking about safety."

Irfan said he and the others think they were profiled because of their appearance. He said five of the six adults in the party are of South Asian descent, and all six are traditionally Muslim in appearance, with the men wearing beards and the women in headscarves. Irfan, 34, is an anesthesiologist. His brother, 29, is a lawyer. Both live in Alexandria with their families, and both were born in Detroit. They were traveling with their wives, Kashif Irfan's sister-in-law, a friend and Kashif Irfan's three sons, ages 7, 4 and 2.

And who knows, did they want to be profiled? Or did they want to make the other passengers nervous? Doesn't matter. My first thought is still the same, "what idiots." Hope they have the same trouble getting back home.

Cuba Celebrates Fifty Years

Woo, Happy Times

From Time magazine, during Camelot, when America was ok, and the murderer Ché wasn't their darling:

The year 1961 was supposed to be "The Year of Education" in Fidel Castro's Cuba. Last week the slogan was enlarged. It is now also "The Year of the Firing Squad." The announcement was made by Cuba's Agrarian Reform Chief Antonio Núñez Jiménez in a speech to a crowd of gun-toting militiamen. Added the Reformer: "We will erect the most formidable execution wall in the history of humanity."

Cuba's Communists were bragging. As butchers go, they are still bush league. But Castro is trying hard. To the 587 listed and the many concealed killings over the past two years, the dictatorship last week added the lives of two more Cubans, both onetime armymen accused of rebellion. At week's end six more men—American youths allegedly planning to join the growing rebellion—were tried with the death penalty demanded.

Somehow I don't crave a T-shirt celebrating the men who would stop farmers in their fields, question them, and if their answers weren't good enough, stand them up against a tree. No trial, no goodbye to the kids, just Fidel and Ché, doing their revolution.

Fifty years! Yeah! Now die in your bed you evil cur.

New Year

Happy New Year. It's cold as cats and dogs in our town tonight.

Too Much Time on Your Hands?

Not anymore.