OK, I've thought long and hard on this one. It wasn't an easy decision but I think I'm going to have to endorse Mitch Romney. What? It is? OK, correct that: I'm now endorsing Mitt Romney.
See, this hasn't been an easy decision for me. We elected the Class President that promised free Coke machines in the cafeteria and no more tests. Of course we should have known that he couldn't deliver. He had those darned teachers fighting against him the whole way. Not to mention the principal. But here's the thing: now he's promising free Coke machines in the cafeteria and no more tests!
Yeah I know it's the same thing. But this time he knows how hard it is to govern and he's still promising! Yeah, so it must be true.
The other guy isn't like me. He has more money than me. Strike one. He believes in a religion that I don't even understand. Strike two. He isn't trying to make me a better person by forcing me to buy birth control for 31 year old "students." Strike, wait, no that one's a ball.
This Romney guy isn't even trying to build character in my kid by saddling her with bone crushing debt before she gets out into the workforce. Well, I guess that one is a ball as well. Alright, but what about apologies? Can Romney do the hard work of keeping us humble in the world? Can he go out there and say, "Although personally I'm a good, no great, guy; my country is really an arrogant collection of jingoistic yahoos, and on their behalf, I'd like to say, 'we're sorry.'" Hmm, maybe the count is 3 and 2.
I guess in the end I'm going with Romney because he understands that over-regulation throttles growth. And he understands that if America needs transformation, it needs to transform back into what it was before Obama took us on this Magical Mystery Tour.
We need an executive that has America's best interest at heart. So for those reasons, I'm picking Mitt Romney for the win. Either that, or it's because I'm racist, and I hate women.