Brash Bieber Bashes Bumpers, Bearded Blogger Bemused

I saw it on Drudge, The Biebs in Crash During Paparazzi Chase:

We're told the Escalade was going down Canon Drive at a fast clip, trying to lose the photog, when a BMW was pulling out of a parking structure near Bouchon restaurant.  An eyewitness tells us ... the BMW misjudged the speed of the Escalade and smashed into it.

We're told Bieber almost immediately got out of the SUV and into another car and sped off...

"We're told" and "we're told" It's sort of like "don't blame us if this is all wrong; we're just saying what we were told..."

Like that despicable Harry Reid... but I digress. Thing is, when you hear about car crashes, involving anyone, you should shift into concerned mode. But, to my shame, when I read about the Beib smashup, all I could think of was: