Monday, April 22, 2013


If you keep making that face it will get stuck like that

I was watching a BBC nature show last night and it got me thinking... They were showing the brutal truth about nature, i.e. animals chasing down and killing other animals. But wouldn't it be nice to have a nature show where the victim always got away?

The film crews have admitted to staging some shots anyway (most likely they're the guys who point out the locations of limping antelopes to the lions) so why not have them interfere on the side of the little guy? It doesn't have to be blatant. They could "accidentally" blow their horn as the cheetah is doing its stealthy approach on a baby zebra.

Last night I saw a pride of lions going after a young elephant. They had the advantage because elephants can't see so good in the dark and the lions can see just fine. So before the elephant  knew what was happening he had lions hanging off of him like dreadlocks. If the cameramen had "whoops" turned on their lights, that elephant could have stomped the lions into throw rugs.

Or you know what? They could blatantly help the victims. They could fire potato cannons at the hyenas as they ran down the baby giraffes. They could tangle the crocodiles in nets, and tranquilizer dart most everything else.  I know I'd pay to see a panther stumbling drunkenly as it tried to chase down a baby monkey.

I'm just giving you ideas here History Channel. Make it happen.