Crisis: Averted

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report):

President Obama used his weekly radio address on Saturday to reassure the American people that he has “played no role whatsoever” in the U.S. government over the past four years.

“Right now, many of you are angry at the government, and no one is angrier than I am,” he said. “Quite frankly, I am glad that I have had no involvement in such an organization.”

The President’s outrage only increased, he said, when he “recently became aware of a part of that government called the Department of Justice.”

“The more I learn about the activities of these individuals, the more certain I am that I would not want to be associated with them,” he said. “They sound like bad news.”

I knew he was blameless.  I expect he was on vacation when all the bad things happened. Which, now that this silliness has been explained, now I think he's overdue for another one. Go ahead Big Sir, you've earned it.