Tuesday, July 04, 2006

4th Of July

There it is, blurred in the distance, the space shuttle Discovery. It's like a representation of America, powerful and ready, poised for assent. The result of hard work and planning, dedication to a vision. And like America, there have been setbacks, there have been hard times, but the leaders have not wavered in their commitment to the vision. And also like America, it is tethered to a gantry and has liquid oxygen venting from ports on it's side. And an American flag, it's got an American flag on it's wing. Which wing? The right wing of course. The left wing, well, lets not talk about the left wing on a great day like today. Except to note that the shuttle will be taking the left wing aloft too. It's attached so we may as well.

And they're blurred but you can also see the catwalks; the bridge onto the great ship. They invite all who would join this great adventure to climb aboard. Well, not all - you do have to join the program and get training. But after that, it's off to adventure .... except that you have to pay taxes too, but then, onward and upward. And you get to wear a special suit too. The suit is your American identity. You wear it proudly even though the French think their suit (often a clown suit) is better. Your suit protects you from the harsh environment of space. And you trust your suit, though you may feel unease in the knowledge that it was made from materials supplied by the lowest bidder. And you know that reporters from the New York Times have been poking pins into your space suit, and worrying the seams, still you trust that the damage can be repaired.

The blue sky is the future. Sometimes it's uncertain. Clouds will sometimes appear but when they do, you just delay the journey. (like during Democratic administrations; Kennedy being the exception (hello? Kennedy Space Center?)) And though birds sometimes nest on the tower, um, lets see, the birds are Barbara Streisand and Al Franken, and though they poop on the equipment, nobody much notices them anymore.

And see the blue sign? It's our constitution; it points us in the proper direction. At night it is illuminated by our trust in God. This one is illuminated by a bulb manufactured in Korea, and it warns you to keep right I think. In fact, I'm sure it does. "Keep right and get an education," it proclaims proudly in front of the out building, which is Hawaii and Alaska.

And it's all framed by the green grass, which is nature - the magnificent land we live on. From East to West, from North to South, from Minnesota to, um, Oklahoma. It's the source of our strength; producing wheat, and corn, and other crops we're not familiar with, like barley. And though the NASA employees sometimes have picnics on it (factories), they always clean up after themselves. (EPA)

The turtle is in focus but you'll notice that it doesn't have a head. It has no direction. It's the modern Democratic Party. It invented the internet but is no longer sure which way to go. It only knows that the road seems hotter than it was this time last year, and it blames the shuttle for all its woes. The turtle is concerned with the direction the shuttle is pointed. Though it admits that "up" is the obvious choice, it wonders if a more subtle, or nuanced, direction might be preferable. It won't elaborate on just what the hell a "subtle" or "nuanced" direction would be. It's sure "up" is wrong though. It says that "up" is the "chimpy direction." Just ignore the turtle.


FreeBohemian said...

Outstanding article. This is MY kind of humor. I laughed out loud at this one!

-- The Free Bohemian