Thursday, May 10, 2012


The President was speaking about being on the right side of history today. Wouldn't the right side of history be the side we're all on at the moment? I mean, to be on the other side of history, you have to be past tense, like Monty Python's Norwegian Blue parrot - rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is the side where things still happen; on the other side of history everything is already over with.

We're all on the right side of history. Knock wood. It's so easy; even the Portuguese can do it.

Anyway, I'm thinking about history because of this latest news: that President Obama found the underwear bomb and saved an airplane. It reminded me of Obama's great grandfather, Charles Hussein Obama, who shot Bonnie and Clyde all those many years ago. And Dag Hussein Obama, who chased down John Wilkes Booth and wrestled him to the ground.

Those guys are on the "formerly" side of history now, but they're not forgotten. When the tough decisions had to be made, they wrote a memo to escape responsibility, delegated the decision to a fall guy, and went in with guns blazing.

When Barack spotted a airline passenger with a suspicious lump, I'm told he jumped over the security barricade and subdued the would-be terrorist. "Memos be damned," he said, "We'll write post-dated memos if it all goes wrong."

A truly historic President.