Drunken Danny

So Louie De Palma got drunk and made Barbara Walters do her distasteful face.

DeVito Apologizes

DeVito's publicist, Stan Rosenfeld, told ABC News that the actor has apologized to Barbara Walters, "The View's" creator and co-host.

"He has called Barbara Walters to apologize for anything that could be construed as unfortunate," he said.

Ha! I love that, apologizing for "anything that could be construed as unfortunate." I sure could have used that phrase back in the days when I had things to apologize for. It's wonderfully generalized, an apology without ever naming what you're apologizing about. And "could be construed" introduces an element of doubt about whether an offense ever took place in the first place. "I'm not saying I did anything wrong, and if I inadvertently rolled over on, and crushed, and then ate, a family pet that wasn't meant to be, you know, crushed and eaten, then I'm deeply sorry that I inadvertently did that... you know, if you construe that something like that happened."

Genius.