Attempted Humor

From the Potentially Amazing James Taranto:

Life Imitates 'The Simpsons'

• Sideshow Bob: "Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?"--dialogue from "Sideshow Bob Roberts," aired Oct. 9, 1994
• "Rather than recognizing concrete achievement, the 2009 [Nobel Peace] prize appeared intended to support initiatives that have yet to bear fruit."--Associated Press, Oct. 9, 2009