Cake, Taken

This tears it. We have officially become the laziest people on the planet. Never mind that our president has become the only man in America who knows how to mop without precipitating an industrial accident, now the rest of us are buying machines to throw balls for our dogs to fetch. How long before we've got robots to tickle our children, or go to the beach for us?

Sheesh, people. Learn this, remember this: You don't buy a machine to throw balls for your dog to fetch. You hire a neighbor kid to do it.