Teenager Passes Out Marrying Cow

It's the same old story:

A Balinese teenager caught [having relations] with a cow passed out on Friday when he was forced to marry the animal in a ceremony witnessed by hundreds of curious onlookers.

As the Jakarta Globe reported earlier in the day, Ngurah Alit, 18, an unemployed youth from the seaside village of Yeh Embang in Jembrana, was caught stark naked [and in a compromising position]

In his defence, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments.

As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to “marry” the animal.

Alit, however, according to Detik.com, passed out surrounded by locals and police, who were attempting to prevent a number of journalists from covering the spectacle.

It is unclear whether or not he got to say “I do.”

Alit’s collapse prompted his mother to begin screaming hysterically, while other family members shouted at photographers not to take pictures.

“Poor kid. He’s actually a quiet kid,” said one villager.

As part of the ceremony, Alit’s victim and new bride was drowned in ocean.

Alit, on the other hand, was symbolically drowned and bathed on the beach.

“Only his clothes were thrown into the sea,” the villager said.

Village chief Ida Bagus Legawa declared that the village had been “cleansed” from the “defilement from the incident.”

Same thing happened when I was a kid, except no sex was involved; and instead of a cow it was crawdads; and instead of getting married, we would catch them with little strips of bacon tied to a string.

So the cow gets defiled then drowned. Can you imagine what the other cows thought, watching the spectacle? "Oh, look. Here comes that nice farm boy. Look he's..... oh holy cow, what is he doing? He's no, no, it can't be. Oh look, they're getting married. That's nice. Oh, no, don't they know we can't swim? Oh I can't watch. Stay away from the farm boy. Stay away from the farm boy!"

As for the evidence: sure, cows, especially the pretty ones, have been known to flirt. But without a witness this boils down to the clasic case of he-said, she-mooed.