Evolution

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Seen the article on evolution by "a top scientist"? (top scientists, what would we do without them?):

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

OK, so three guesses which category top-scientist Curry thinks he's in. "We've tentatively named the new species 'top scientists' and 'hoi polloi'."

Some scientist. Liberals have held that theory for the past 30 years. In fact, this silliness has been going on since Plato (not Mickey's dog, the other one) and his philosopher kings. Gee, who's most qualified to rule the world? Hmmm, who could it be? Oh, I know, philosophers!

Well think again, top scientists; the tippy-top ne plus ultra of evolution is already here. And he wears flannel shirts. Oh, sure, there's Chuck Norris, but that's a one of a kind mutation. And really, he's already ascended to a higher dimension; what we see is an artifact, a sort of shadow of the adventures he's having on that higher plane.