Wednesday, December 30, 2009

There's an Ad for That



I saw a screen cap of this and assumed that it was a photoshop. Who would put the Aflac duck (goose?) staring out at you on a page for Anatidaephobia: the fear that you are being watched by a duck? But research-research-research, it's true. Actually, not so much research - it's the first thing that comes up on google.

So wow, a person spends their life afraid of ducks, finally finds that there's a name for their phobia, and that other people have it too, and they google it, and NOOOOOO! the ducks are everywhere!

Actually, we're all being watched by ducks. It's just that some people are bothered by it.

Survival of the Fittest


The sheep turned and attacked the tree from out of the blue. It had
no time to evolve some form of locomotion and flee to safety.


And We Have a Winner



DECEMBER 30--Meet Marguerite Engle. The South Dakota woman recorded a mind-boggling .708 blood alcohol content after being arrested earlier this month when a state trooper found her passed out behind the wheel of a stolen truck. But while Engle, 45, was nearly nine times over the state's .08 legal limit, she fell just short of the U.S intoxication record. That mark was set last year by an Oregon woman--also found comatose behind the wheel--who registered a .72 BAC. Engle's whopping BAC was measured by a Rapid City Police Department chemist who tested a blood sample drawn from Engle.
Well, darned shame about missing the record, but hey, 'drunkest woman all year' is also an accomplishment. And she's not even a US Congressperson.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Quick and Dirty



At least he has a reason for not reading the bill.

Kid Clobbered, Toy Updated



HONOLULU, Hawaii -- A senior administration official said that the incident did not involve any member of the first family, and that a young family friend traveling with suffered a minor injury. Sources say a child friend was injured in a "surf board mishap" while playing on the beach, but no additional details on the injury were reported just yet.


Monday, December 28, 2009

Don't Panic




Not to worry everybody. Janet Napolitano has looked into it and concluded that the system worked. And, just to be sure, she's instituted a requirement that all international flights carry at least one Danish filmmaker. "We feel we have the assets in place to stop any further attempts by Jihadis to incinerate their man-parts aboard our aircraft."

Now, don't you feel safer?

If Time Could Do It Right




(thanks, Oregon Guy)

Make Mine Freedom




h/t Nimos

The Flag Draped Coffin


Papa Ray sent me the following, about the symbolism that has been assigned to the folding of the flag (thanks PR):


Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America Flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!
The 1st fold of the flag is a "Symbol of life."

The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in "Eternal Life."

The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.

The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, “Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

The 6th fold is for where people’s hearts lie. It is with their heart that they pledge allegiance to the flag of the United! States Of America, and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.

The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.

The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.


The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.


The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.


The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their nations motto, “In God We Trust.”

After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today.
There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning. In the future, you’ll see flags folded and now you will know why.
Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of “Liberty and Freedom.”

I've read that the flag was folded in this same manner before the meaning was assigned to each fold. That doesn't concern me so much as the fact that these meanings were assigned.

Why Dogs Are the Best Pets




Reason # 65:
You can't train a cat to do CPR. Puppies learn quickly and enjoy saving you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Everyone



We'll be whirling around, doing multiple Christmases, so in the meantime, enjoy this wintry image of University of Wisconsin-Madison students beating a land pirate to death with a cardboard box.

Xk-har-cd




xkcd

TV Can Drive You Nutzo



Last night I was watching Venus Unveiled on the Science channel, halfway expecting them to blame CO2 for Venus's super hot (by earth standards) climate. Which they did, of course, without mentioning the inverse squared law affecting the amount of sunlight hitting Venus. Or mentioning that a liter of atmosphere from Venus contains not double or triple the number of CO2 molecules of a liter of earth atmosphere, not even ten times, or a hundred times, but roughly 232,000 times the number.

But what came next was an "experiment" that had me throwing remote controls and dogs at the TV set. The "experimenter" performed pretty much the same experiment as this one: You fill one container with air and one with an unknown amount of CO2. In this case the container was filled with a long blast of pure CO2 from a soda fountain. Then you set the containers in the sun and record the temperature after an hour or so. I'm guessing that the high-CO2 container was something like 90% CO2, so the 2° or 3° C. rise wasn't unexpected.

Sure, a couple degree rise in an atmosphere that is too saturated with CO2 to sustain life. Oh, and then she said something like: "And that's just a temperature rise in a single bottle, multiply that by a whole planet's worth of greenhouse gas and you've got Venus." Sheesh.

Anyway, I was pleased to check Watts Up With That this morning and find the same "experiment" (this one from the BBC) taken down. Good. It's important to call Shenanigans early in the game, before the soi disant science lovers' frauds can be embedded in the culture.

(also - if this experiment shows anything, it's that we can increase our CO2 concentration over a thousand fold without more than a few degree rise -- assuming their CO2 bottle was 50% mixture of CO2, being kind here; that is roughly 1200 times the CO2 in normal atmosphere)

Ah, found it. Here's the experiment.


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Pinnacle Reached





Just when you think there couldn't be anything stupider, some one comes along with a whole new approach to dumb. This time, from the same people who told you to avoid having children, we get: Oh and no pets either. See, the problem on the earth is life. The rocks were doing just fine. The dirt and sand were all good. Then damn life showed up.

What a joyless dreary crew. Thank goodness their doomsday theories are unraveling. Because, watch out vegetation, they're coming for you next.

(images via)

Merry Christmas


"OK one more time. But if we keep breaking needles I'm going to run out."



Just phiddling with fotoshop.

Uninvited Guest


America's chickens...... are coming home to roost.


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Run Child, Run




Game Over





Tolerance





Old Joke


A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it from the beer tap. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, I have two brothers. One's in Australia, the other's in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits this is a nice custom.

The cowboy becomes a regular, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to pry, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church so I had to quit drinking.


Monday, December 21, 2009

Fist Bump of Death



"For my next Oprah appearance, remind me to mention how the Republicans
neglected workplace safety harness regulations for eight years."


***Update: "leave well enough alone" - never heard of it.




Timon and Pumbaa




I'm sure it's photoshopped, but not by me. (darnit)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Snow


Children summoning snow ghosts to wreak vengeance for past wrongs.

While other kids pulled the sled over the only surface not covered in snow.

And this is me, resting after a snowball fight with the Swedish bikini team.


If You're Snowed in Anyway


You might want to check out a one hour Climate special on Fox tonight. Steve McIntyre:

Fox News is running a one-hour special on climate tonight at 9 p.m. (which is being re-aired on Wednesday, I think.)

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was interviewed in Toronto by Fox News when they were in Toronto for the Munk Debates (Dec 1) – Nigel Lawson and Bjorn Lomborg v George Monbiot and Elizabeth May (Green Party of Canada leader). It’s my understanding that they will be using some of this footage in one of the segments of the program tonight.

They were extremely well prepared for the interview to say the least, even being acquainted with as small a nuance of the debate as the Starbucks Hypothesis. I suspect that I’m going to look pretty weary in the interview – I was in the process of going through the Climategate Letters, which are discourging even for third party readers.

I think that the producers are trying to make the show more nuanced than the usual effort in this field (on either side). Not an easy task.

Any Climategate coverage is good. You know the MSM (except for Fox) won't cover it in any depth.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Votes Bought


Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.) secured the pivotal 60th vote after acceding to the demands of Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) for tighter restrictions on insurance coverage for abortions, along with money for his home state and breaks for favored health-care interests.

Do people really go to the polls and vote for a candidate because he got money for their state at the expense of the rest of the country? I don't know about anyone else but I don't want more than is my share. Not for my state; not for me personally. I mean, just be straight with me, don't send my money to Nebraska just because their vote was needed.

And hey, Nebraskaites: who's to say you won't end up net losers on this deal? When your healthcare goes wrong, will you be comforted knowing that Nelson secured extra money for your state?

Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa




It's not pretty. It's necessary.

Best video at above link, or here:




Snow Accomplished


My back porch, showing the grill (big snow covered mound in center), the
round table (big snow covered mound on right), chairs (big snow
cov.... you get
the idea), and the blue thing -- a fabric cutting
mat that is buried in the snow
up to the 14-inch mark.

Front yard - that's a tiny bird house in the middle there. Not sure
what the roof load is but I don't think this one's occupied.

I got off early yesterday so I ran by Sam's Club to pick up some things I've needed but had put off buying all week. And surprise! The disaster-avoiders were out in force. Not a single flake had hit the ground yet (unless Al Franken had tripped getting out of a limo somewhere) but already every single loaf of bread was gone. I didn't need bread but I felt this strange urge to get some, simply because everyone else was frantically searching for the one overlooked loaf that, in theory, could have fallen under the vegetable display case. I tell you what, we turn into some bread-eating fools once the snow comes.

I just needed some shampoo, onions, and like that. Plus, I knew I'd be getting whatever Sam Walton forced me into getting because it was just too good of a deal not to get. (like pickle relish, how can you pass on a gallon jug of pickle relish for the price of a 12oz jar in the supermarket?) Then there are the muffins as big as your head. How can you ignore a muffin that could keep you fed into January should the snow dictate it?

Anyway, the onions. I really had trouble getting to the onions due to the survivalists milling about the bread zone. Pretty much I think it's a tribal thing -- somewhere in our DNA we have instructions to gather and grumble when the Gods don't provide for our deepest needs.

So, being trained in creative thinking by internet games, a solution came to me: I went two aisles away (motor oil, rags-in-a-box, hand tools) and just called out loudly: "Bread!" Then I scooted around the corner and flank attacked the onions in the now deserted bread zone. The hoards were trampling each other in the automotive section by then.

I contemplated using the bread trick again at the registers, but by then I was feeling a little guilty about the first exploit. Glancing back at the first melee, I saw several fights in progress, and there were children crying, much weeping, etc. Probably best to just wait in line like everyone else.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Obama in Copenhagen


***Update:

You are getting sleeeeepy...


Headlines Only



(Plus my reaction) Because the headlines say it all:


Iranian forces take over Iraq oil well

(Oh, letters will be sent over this one! Expect some very strongly worded letters!)

Venezuela's Chavez 'Still' Smells Sulfur After Obama Speech

(Racist!)


O-bow-ma, Har!




From NB:

But PBO's bow seemed to go beyond the perfunctory head-nod that in the circumstances surely would have satisfied, say, Japanese etiquette.

What is it with our head of our state and Commander-in-Chief that sends him diving toward his shoes whenever a foreign dignitary hails into view? Will the MSM cover this latest installment in the adventures of Pres. O-bow-ma?

"O-bow-ma" I love it.

Franken Still Funny, but Not Funny Ha-Ha



Al Franken's latest stunt of cutting off Senator Lieberman reminded me of the Cartman Hall-Monitor episode of South Park. The moral being: don't give authority to the small minded unless you're looking for amusement from their pettiness.

Anyone who has ever watched C-span has seen senators ask for a moment more to finish their remarks. Then the they are granted the extra time... and it's rote, it's part of the hum of the Senate in action, always the same -- until they gave "authoritah" to the barely-senator from Minnesota. So he says no, no you can't have a moment more. Why?

Course, this accomplished nothing. I'm sure Franken thought he was making a statement. Well, and he was. He was saying, "I don't like you Senator Lieberman." But really he said so much more about himself. Like when he tackled a heckler, way back when, the event was about him, "I was a wrestler so I used a wrestling move....I got down low and took his legs out." It was all about Al.

Franken doesn't run deep enough to realize that it's wrong to physically attack someone for using words. (unless a conservative tried the same stunt) Likewise, it will never dawn on him that he's the only Senator in that whole big room that doesn't have class enough to let the opposition speak.

Raw Power





xkcd

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Save Us Al Gore


Oh no! Global warming has turned fire white.


A woman at the GW whoop-de-do works frantically to remove the evidence.

But that reminds me -- have you seen this melty bear sculpture at the conference?:


The high in Copenhagen yesterday was 33 degrees. How the heck is it doing so much melting? Could there be greenies out there at night with blow torches? (clickabiggen, btw)

photos via

Protest


Why do women protest?


We'll never know all the complexities of a woman's mind.

Why do men protest?
Easy:




Simon's Cat




via

Lies Lies Lies


From the Herald Sun blog, re: Copenhagen:

Nothing is real in Copenhagen - not the temperature record, not the predictions, not the agenda, not the “solution”. In fact, here’s how fake it all is:
The lead negotiator for the small island nation of Tuvalu, the bow-tie wearing Ian Fry, broke down as he begged delegates to take tough action.

“I woke up this morning crying,” and that’s not easy for a grown man to admit,” Mr Fry said on Saturday, as his eyes welled with tears.

”The fate of my country rests in your hands,” he concluded, as the audience exploded with wild applause.

So moving. But let’s now learn more from Samantha Maiden about this former Greenpeace official from “Tuvalu”:
But the part-time PhD scholar at the Australian National University actually resides in Queanbeyan, NSW, where he’s not likely to be troubled by rising sea levels because the closest beach at Batemans Bay is a two-hour, 144km drive away. Asked whether he had ever lived in Tuvalu, his wife told The Australian last night she would “rather not comment”....

Still, it’s a long way from the endangered atolls of Tuvalu, with his neighbour Michelle Ormay confirming he’s lived in Queanbeyan for more than a decade, while he has worked his way up to being “very high up in climate change”.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Oh, I want to be very high up in whatever internet hoax is big at the time.

I doubt there will ever be this much energy invested in an unproven theory ever again. And the unprovenness of it keeps coming to the front - Watts Up With That has an article about the Russian IEA contending that CRU cherrypicked data from only the warmest stations.
They specifically state that lack of measurement is not the cause. If they claim the full set of Russian data does NOT support global warming, imagine how different the bright red dot over Russia would look. Again the accusation is completely believable, yet is completely unverifiable because CRU has refused to release the data. This data and code release is the subject of illegal blocking of FOIA’s is one of the keys in the Climategate emials. We need to know the list of stations used and we must have copies of the raw data.

So where to go from here? I recommend glasnost. Shine a light on the data and the calculations. If it's not a fraud, there will still be time to wreck the world economy. I'm betting otherwise though. I'm betting glasnost will do for global warming what it did for the Soviet Union.

Prison, Here I Come



There's a good chance that Keith Olberman doesn't realize he's advancing a conservative point of view. He doesn't want Obamacare if it doesn't pass his litmus test:

We must not buy federally-mandated insurance, if this cheesy counterfeit of reform is all we can buy. No single payer? No sale. No public option? No sale. No Medicare buy-in? No sale.

But Keith, don't you want to change the world? Course, then he notices the most heinous provision of Obamacare: What you want for yourself and your family doesn't matter. The law says you must buy Obamacare.
Olberman catches a clue:
I am one of the self-insured, albeit by choice. And I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health-care reform. Pass this at your peril, senators. And sign it at yours, Mr. President. I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a law-breaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must.


So it's like a win-win situation. My advice Keith: first thing you do after getting off the prison bus - pick the biggest, meanest, most face tattooed SOB in the yard and smack the snot out of him. Either that or become the wife of one of those Aryan Nation dudes.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The First Handyman


Demonstrating his familiarity with common hand tools, the President
called on all Americans to get busy insulating their own homes. "These
are green jobs people -- just what we need after eight years of disregarding
our insulation. We've already seen what two terms of weatherstripping
neglect can do. Come on! We are the handymen we have been waiting for!"

We can do this! Grab that level, plumb that bob, the only thing stopping you is the sill plate!

Accountability




Via Newsbusters, Dan Rather voices his concerns:

“The difficulty with some of the things on the internet...is transparency and accountability about who’s responsible for what’s on.”

TVNewser.com columnist Gail Shister sparked the discussion by asking Rather: “Are you concerned at all that there is the absence of quality control when it comes to so much of the modern platforms?” Rather went on to fret: “...you can put something on the internet that’s really terrible about your neighbor or about a friend or a competitor and it’s almost impossible to find out who the source is. And you can say anything about them. That part of it troubles me.”

The article doesn't go into how much Rather had to drink before the interview. Presumably he was sober enough to stay upright so long as he remained seated.

And I won't speculate on the cause of Rather's slurred speech -- whether it was caused by the booze, or "the shrooms Anderson Cooper hooked me up with". Obviously the guy likes to party.

Faster Daddy Faster




via

Pay Extra



i can haz via Miss Cellania

Knock It Off Kid




Sorry for the light posting - I've been busy untangling the new commenting system. I don't like it as much as what we had but maybe I'll get used to it.

fighting101s.jpg