Thursday, September 29, 2011

Attack Watching


I think I'm going to stop turning myself in to Attack Watch. The only result seems to be a rash of fundraising e-mails to the snitch's address (me).

The latest:
On Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 3:00 PM, Rufus Gifford, BarackObama.com wrote:

Friend....

...From the beginning, we've refused to take money from D.C. lobbyists and corporate special interests.
Our operation is fueled by people inspiring each other to take ownership of this campaign.

That's why we've been emailing this week, and that's why I'm obligated to remind you once more that the deadline is coming up in a matter of hours.

If you're able to, will you chip in just $3 today?

https://donate.barackobama.com/Friday-Deadline


For all of us here at HQ, and all of the staff and volunteers across the country counting on these resources, I really appreciate your help....

"Refused to take money from corporate special interests"? Is there maybe a special character, perhaps a wink-wink nudge-nudge emoticon, that doesn't show up on the Mac? Obviously Rufus brings this up because he knows that I know, and he expects that I know he knows that I know, so denying that shady deals like Solyndra even happen is his way of saying that he knows that I know he knows that I know. You know? Yes, multiple-knowing to this degree means that Rufus considers me an insider. One of the elite. He's probably wondering if he's seen me around Martha's Vineyard.

So I figured I should probably reply:
Rufus,

Tell you what. Get the boss to push through a half billion dollar grant and I'll donate whatever the going rate is for that kind of larceny. Just let me know what kind of kick-back the president usually expects.
your,
Lumberjack friend
In a lawnchair,
Martha's Vineyard

I guess this can go two ways. One: they can ignore the e-mail completely because I"m reading this wrong and they don't ever read what the "little guy" has to say, or two: I'll get details on how to do the standard corruption deal. It could be risky, but I've dealt with Nigerian scammers before, so I think I'm up to the task.

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