Friday, March 16, 2012

Your Food is Trying to Kill You

But you can advance the War on Women if you take the wife down with you.

Have you seen the latest your-meat-will-kill-you study? (done by vegans for vegetarians and edited by the pale elite who refuse any nourishment that isn't delivered via IV) The good news: you can end it all quickly with salami and hot dogs. Me, I plan on dragging it out with sirloin steak.

Truth is, I didn't read the study. These sorts of things tend to find what they start out looking for. What new science can come from that? But the study did remind me that it's been awhile since I've fixed steaks, so tonight I threw together a Marinade Marvelous. It's a minor sin to only marinade for a few hours (instead of the usual 24) but I am weak when in the grip of bovine appetency.

It goes like this:
Marinade Marvelous

3/4 cup Soy Sauce

1/4 cup Ketchup

2 TBSP Sugar

1/2 cup Sherry wine (grocery store wine is ok)

1/3 cup Chopped onion

1 clove Garlic (squashed and minced)

Juice and Rind of 1 Lemon

Mix it all up in a gallon freezer bag, add steaks, burp the air out, and let it sit in the refrigerator for 24 hours. You should use the actual lemon - the rind makes a difference - but I have gone to lemon juice in a pinch. Most important though is the time; give the marinade 24 hours and grill it rare or medium rare at most, and you'll have a steak that makes you want to go out for an after dinner vegan beat-down.

Just kidding of course. I suppose if vegans want to be vegans, well ok. But I suspect this recipe could cure them.

Marinade Marvelous came from my dad. It was a revelation to kid-me, I mean, who knew food could be that good? Years later my mom gave me the recipe. She said that my dad modified a recipe that came on the Kikkoman bottle many years ago. I'm sure he did what I do: started out with the basic recipe and tasted and adjusted as he went along. He also refused to cook any steak past medium rare. I balked at that as a kid but I'm wiser now. All your great minds take their steak rare. Look it up.

If you're going to try it, follow the recipe exactly the first time. And use real lemons and garlic. Sirloin is best, though you could use any choice cut of beef.