Brilliant!

However often I ask, "what would we do without scientists?" it's not often enough:

DURHAM. N.C. - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine.

Welcome to the future. Think I'll go jump in my rocketcar and just go driving, now that I'm free from the drudgery of dunking my own donut. No more will I have to sit around the Coffee Shop in the morning listening to the other rubes complaining, "Oh darn, got coffee on my fingers," "Damn, a piece fell into the coffee," "Oh when will some scientist come along and free us from all this?" "I'm going to shoot myself if this goes on another single day."