Saturday, November 29, 2008

Terror in India



I haven't commented on the terror attacks in Mumbai, mainly because the news is being covered well elsewhere. And really, what can you say about a tragedy like this? I'll tell you what, it's made me more thankful that we have so far been able to avoid another attack along these lines. But it added a sad note to Thanksgiving. And the need to say an extra prayer for those who suffered at the hands of these evil people.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The News in Pictures






Don't Act So Surprised



You knew he owned a backhoe when you backed over his garbage cans.

The Mall


We (the wife) dropped off the kid and some friends at the mall at 5:00 AM.... said she had never seen the parking lot so full. Must be the economic downturn. I avoided the adventure.

I'll mouse my way to Christmas this year. Which reminds me: Amazon's Black Friday Sale.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Couldn't Help Myself




Happy Thanksgiving



Two things, a dog for Obama:


No, really, it's a dog.

And Sleeveface, some of them are really good:


And in case I don't get back, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Gordon Ramsey, Report to the Woodshed



Gordon Ramsey seems to have gotten himself in trouble. That's him with his wife above. First question -- how did he ever rate a girl like that? Second question -- what an idiot:

Gordon Ramsay has made a grovelling apology to wife Tana Ramsay, after admitting to meeting 'mistress' Sarah Symonds four times, it was alleged today.

The television chef was forced to admit to his wife that he does know Symonds, who insists she has been his mistress for seven years.

But he told his wife - who appears to be prepared to stand by him - that they have only met on four occasions.

The couple appeared near their Wandsworth hand-in-hand, in a show of marital solidarity despite the possibility that further lurid revelations will emerge later this week.

Truth - I can't imagine Gordon Ramsey being intimate with any woman, "What? You call that a kiss? That's rubbish, is what that is. I'd be embarrassed to serve a kiss like that to a patron. I maintain a high standard dammit, you bin that and try again. Stop sniveling and start over."

Running in Circles


Sorry for the infrequent posting. Somehow everything went kerflooie all at once: work, a sick dog, coking commitments, visits from space aliens, and leaf raking. It seems that whenever I make progress on one thing, I get behind on all the others. Making matters worse, I found this fine time waster just when I don't have any time to waste:



This is my favorite kind of online game, in that it seems so impossible that any progress at all makes you feel great.

In brief: third up-day in a row for the stock market, so I renew my call for Obama to step down at his peak.

Also: you think you'd like our government to run health care? This month, at an unnamed explosives manufacturing facility where I often work, they've started putting out those portable speed-bumps.

And lastly: Thomas Sowell makes sense. Good. I'm going to have a t-shirt made: "My Economist is a Black Man"


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Obamanomics



The stock market downturn on Nov 5th struck me as an obvious no-vote for the president elect's perceived economic plans. And it's been kind of fun watching my local news radio station come up with excuses for the downturn, one after another, all the while avoiding any consideration that wealth redistribution could have anything to do with it.

So I was amused yesterday when we finally see two good market days in a row and my local station finally sees Obama's hand in it. "He announced his economic team" Sure. Couldn't have anything to do with the report that he may delay his tax hikes for the "rich".

I can't predict markets, but I'm not enthusiastic.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Turkey Repost



Civics




Did we already do this one? Some of those questions seemed familiar.

This is the one that elected officials did poorly on:

US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday.

Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI).

So I blew them out of the water. Is it any wonder that so many of them have bought the internet hoax of global warming? But hey, I'm not going to rub it in and endanger my chance of a bail-out.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Parking


Have you heard the one about the lawyer who was late for a court? He’s driving around and around and there is no parking anywhere. So he says aloud, “dear all powerful and merciful God please find me a place to park, I’ll do anything for you.” As he finishes praying, a space opens up and he says, “never mind I found one”...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Give Me a Hand




here

File Not Found




Message for Obama Pool


I changed this one a bit:


It's from the "Message for Obama" flickr pool. It's not all syrupy sweet adoration, some of it's critical, some of it's crazyrant.

Dear Mr Obama,
When you were elected,
I felt something change in me.
I'm still waiting
for the biopsy results.

VI Day



Zombie started it, and it's a good idea: declare victory in Iraq. Certainly the vastly improved conditions there warrant it. And the main-stream media seems unmotivated to remark upon it. So yes, let's declare the victory, and of course, say thank you to those who have sacrificed so much to bring it about.

Call me cynical, but I don't expect the media to be interested until the new wonderful leader of the free world (ah, a phrase that will no doubt be redundant soon) takes office. Give Obama a week and the headlines will start "It Took Him Just Seven Days," "Obama Ends the War That the Fascists Entangled Us In."

He will have input. He will get the chance to screw it up; but hopefully he won't. Would it be tempting fate to suggest that even Jimmy Carter could bring it home from here?

Want specifics? Read The Advisor

Penguin Escape



Friday, November 21, 2008

Finally Found It


I've looked everywhere for this.

They Won, But They Just Can't Stop


Sarah Palin inadvertently gives an interview in front of a
criminal disposing of his accomplice in a wood-chipper

***Update:

That wacky governor.

Ha! She doesn't even have eyes in the back of her head.

Bush Snub



Michelle Malkin has a CNN video refuting Rick Sanchez's childish nyaa-nyaa about Bush being snubbed at the G8.

Of course Sanchez just knows that Bush is hated. How? Well, he googled Bush + bully (somehow, Sanchez claims to have only gotten two million hits - just another error):
Yup, guess that proves it. Although:
Obviously, Bush also has a serious disco problem. What an assclown Rick Sanchez is.

It's Friday


And I've only got one thing to say:



Twice

And Then Things Started Going Wrong



About the only thing missing from this story is a three-legged dog, and it could be that there was one, only it was left out of the account so as to not add needless complication. You really need to read the whole thing, if only to learn the campaign slogan of the sheriff involved:

CARLISLE — There's little undisputed in this story, the tale of the tipped trailer.

Frances Barton's single-wide, the one she had fully paid $5,000 for and was hoping to move to a little piece of land she was buying on a $250-a-month land contract, is now literally in pieces on Jim Gaunce's front lawn.

Frances Barton cried Tuesday as she watched cleanup on what's left of her single-wide mobile home four days after it was overturned while it was being moved along U.S. 68 in Nicholas County near Carlisle.

And, everyone agrees, that leaves some 12 people — four adults and eight children ranging from 3 months to 12 years — facing Thanksgiving with no place to live.

How, exactly, the mobile home came to this odd resting place is where the story gets complicated. On Friday, Barton hired a guy to put her house on a trailer and move it up U.S. 68 in Nicholas County. When the trailer broke down and the house blocked the highway for hours on end, the sheriff got involved....

It's really a sad story, but I suspect this 35 year-old grandma, and her "mishmash of real kin and unofficially adopted kids, teens and young adults" will be ok. If only because this story has been so widely circulated. And people are generous, especially those of us who laughed inappropriately while reading of her woes.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Just a Thought


OK, I didn't vote for him, but now he's going to be president, so I really do wish Obama well. Or put that another way, I wish me well, so I'll be happy if somehow Obama can swoop in and rescue this economy from the toilet. You go, guy.

On the other hand, and in the spirit of well-wishing, I would urge Obama to retire at this point. Think of it. He's at his peak. He can retire now and be proclaimed the greatest president who ever lived.

No really. He's the amazing lawyer who never did much lawyering. He's the astounding Senator, who spent less time actually working there than John Kerry spent in Vietnam. Why not be the most wonderful president ever, without ever taking the oath? I can hear Chris Mathews lamenting the end of an era now. You know the tributes will be unceasing. It's a win-win-win situation. He wins, we win, Joe Biden wins.... Oh, Joe Biden.

Darn it, scrap that plan.

On the up side. If Obama really does serve, he'll be dealing with an Al-Qaeda that has called him a "house-negro," so maybe, just maybe, it will become ok to hate Al-Qaeda again.

They Can't Stop Talking About Sarah



First lady-elect, talking about Sarah Palin.


Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman


From the Onion, with ok language 95% of the way through:


Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman
Only advice I can offer Mike, concentrate on your skills, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Or so I've heard.

Super-Duper-Zippity-Fast


Wired Science reports:

A new crop of supercomputers is breaking down the petaflop speed barrier, pushing high-performance computing into a new realm that could change science more profoundly than at any time since Galileo, leading researchers say.

Which is good news, of course. It means that current climate models can now give us the wrong answer in half the time. Progress!

And the Winner Is...


I get almost exactly this reaction when I announce it's a brussel-sprout dinner night.




Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Almost Spooky




and for no reason whatsoever:


Hitler Wasn't All There

Not world-shaking news, but this clears up the record on a subject that was much debated in my youth. The neighborhood was roughly divided in half: the Illuminati, my camp, knew that the fuhrer avoided bicycles:


Although it was known Hitler suffered a groin injury in the Somme, evidence that he was 'monorchic' - the medical word for the condition - has evaded historians Photo: PA

The Nazi leader lost a testicle during the Battle of the Somme in 1916, the doctor claimed.

The medical condition, for which there has never been conclusive proof, was mocked in the Second World War ditty which begins: "Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall."

The disclosure is made in a document noting a conversation in the 1960s between German war doctor Johan Jambor and his priest, Franciszek Pawlar, according to The Sun. The priest's document has come to light 23 years after Jambor's death.

Although it was known Hitler suffered a groin injury in the Somme, evidence that he was 'monorchic' - the medical word for the condition - has evaded historians.


Not sure how that subject would have come up, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, oh, and by the way...."

Matador on Wall Street




A Word From Our Sponsor


From Adultswim - but safe for work. (though they'll all think you weird)


Wait for It, Wait for It ....




Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Lookin Good, Kid


Arbroath writes about a new fad -- kids injecting themselves in order to tan from the inside:


Melanotan is still undergoing clinical trials but is sold illegally online and in salons and gyms.

It is a synthetic hormone which stimulates the body's production of melanin, a substance that gives the skin its colour.

Experts are worried that the long-term effects are not yet known.

Well, I don't know about the long term effects being "not yet known." It seems safe to say that its users run a very real risk of becoming involved with girls who don't mind being seen in public with guys who look like that. I shudder for them all.

Part Two


Shelby Steele from part two:

"The problem is not so much that he is going to reveal who he really is. The problem is that he may not be anybody."

Informed Voters



New York Post



How are the two above pictures connected? Well, the fellow on the right is Alexander Hamilton. (as a proud, former, owner of a ten dollar bill, I knew this one) And on the left we have the NY Post, Rupert Murdoch's paper - once silly-liberal, now much more fair and balanced. But did you know that Hamilton founded the NY Post? Well, I didn't. This is something I found out helping the kid with History homework. I can honestly say I learn something new (or something I'd forgotten) every time.

Wonder what Hamilton would think of the paper's evolution. "Why, where's the Federalist arguments? I see nothing in here about industrialization. Why aren't we at war with France? We should at least be at war with France."


Blast you, Aaron Burr.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Moo Sue


'Good Morning America' aired a story about a woman suing Victoria's Secret (Newsbusters notes: she has a history of filing lawsuits):

Victoria's Secret, the well-known lingerie retailer, is being sued by a woman who claims the company's bra had formaldehyde in it and made her "utterly sick." ABC's "Good Morning America" ran a segment Nov. 11 focusing on that 37-year-old Ohio woman, Roberta Ritter.

Formaldehyde? Sounds far fetched. But my question involves her getting "utterly sick." Just what size was that thing?

Shelby Steele


I thought he would have a difficult time winning
because he never really revealed who he was.

Shelby Steele hits the nail squarely on the head. Part one of his interview is here. Can't wait for the next installment.

Cause and Effect


Pat R noticed: Mark Cuban criticizes Obama... then, four days later... Mark Cuban is indited. Even Bill Clinton wasn't that fast. Yup, Obama is a piece of work. The smooth talking Marxist....... just a second, I'll be right back, there's a knock at the door....

Brrrrr

RB pointed me to:

On Monday, Nasa's Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS), which is run by Al Gore's chief scientific ally, Dr James Hansen, and is one of four bodies responsible for monitoring global temperatures, announced that last month was the hottest October on record.

This was startling. Across the world there were reports of unseasonal snow and plummeting temperatures last month, from the American Great Plains to China, and from the Alps to New Zealand. China's official news agency reported that Tibet had suffered its "worst snowstorm ever". In the US, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration registered 63 local snowfall records and 115 lowest-ever temperatures for the month, and ranked it as only the 70th-warmest October in 114 years.

So what explained the anomaly? GISS's computerised temperature maps seemed to show readings across a large part of Russia had been up to 10 degrees higher than normal. But when expert readers of the two leading warming-sceptic blogs, Watts Up With That and Climate Audit, began detailed analysis of the GISS data they made an astonishing discovery. The reason for the freak figures was that scores of temperature records from Russia and elsewhere were not based on October readings at all. Figures from the previous month had simply been carried over and repeated two months running.

Ah, if only we could have gone a year or two before the discrepancy was noted. The warmsters would have advanced many conflicting explanations, held conferences, printed charts, and proposed laws, and in general busied themselves -- and then we could throw it all out and send them out looking for something else to get worked up about. I propose they explain why there has been no statistically significant warming since 1995.

They Don't Need Our Help




Swedish design group ADDI has come up with an cutting-edge
polar bear lifejacket design concept to help polar bears navigate
the changes in their habitat.

For the polar bear who has everything. So why not one of those floating lawn chairs with multiple drink holders and a little niche for their smokes? What? Polar bears don't smoke, you say? Well, neither do they need life jackets.

And another thing. It's odd that nobody questions this big concern that there's not as much ice -- so the polar bears have to swim further to hunt. Why? Do you think that seals tread water out out there in the middle of the ocean? No, the seals use the ice too. Less ice should make for easier seal slaughtering.

Never mind that the ice has always been variable. Never mind that instances of drowned bears is not up. Never mind that we may be headed for a new ice age. And especially never mind that there is not enough liquor available in the Arctic circle to get someone drunk enough to try and put one of those things on a polar bear.

What? No floppy hat?


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Threats


This is an AP article so you have to flip a coin to see if any of it is true:

WASHINGTON – Threats against a new president historically spike right after an election, but from Maine to Idaho law enforcement officials are seeing more against Barack Obama than ever before.

Well, if it is true, then the next question is: what are you calling a threat? Seeing as how, in some parts of the country, wearing a Sarah Palin button is called racist. Are American flag pins considered a threat? What about Support the Troops bumper-stickers? Does the Secret Service go into throw-down mode if some kid comments on the airy-one's ears?

Seriously, I'm sure there are real threats, there always are. And I hope that every one of them is quashed. This is America and we pick leaders at the ballot box, thank you very much. I even hope our side refrains form assassination fantasizing, à la HuffPo and Kos.

Speaking of which, did you see the picture of the kid they arrested:


My question is this: short of putting on lipstick, is there any way a twenty-something kid, in a tank top, hefting a huge rifle, with a swastika tattoo, is there any way he could look more feminine?

Reports Untrue




A spokesperson for Hillary Clinton denies reports that the senator has seen a plastic surgeon in hopes of improving her chances of landing a position in the Obama administration. "She may have had a mole removed; that's about all," said the spokesperson, on condition of anonymity.

and no, really, I didn't notice, I swear it

Friday, November 14, 2008

Market Indicators


This gives me reason to hope; Michael Moore is going to do his thing on the economy:

"This is going to tackle what's going on in the world and America's place in it," Paramount Vantage chief Nick Meyer said.

But as the political winds shifted in the months before the election -- and gusted after it -- Moore subtly began reorienting his movie. Instead of foreign policy, the film's focus now is more on the global financial crisis and the U.S. economy.

The untitled movie will contain an end-of-the-empire tone, say those familiar with the project, and Moore no doubt hopes that this will give it a more general feel that will untether it from a specific political moment.

If Michael Moore says we're doomed, recovery can't be far behind. Remember, this is the guy who said the average Cuban got better health care than Americans. I'm not saying that the Messiah-elect can't, and won't, screw it up, but having Michael Moore rooting for doom makes it far less likely to happen.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Now It's OK to be Only OK With McCain


See more funny videos at Funny or Die


Response to the Coming Democrat Revolution



Also works for those door to door driveway resurfacers who "were just in the neighborhood."

Old Pictures



(clickabiggen)

Just found a great site for old pictures: Shorpy Photo Archive. Lots of cool old pictures there, plus, it's educational. Enlarge the above picture, for example, and you'll notice that back in 1911, at least half the population was gay.

Swiss Chocolate Army Knife



I saw this and thought, "nice photoshop, wish I'd thought of it." But upon closer inspection, I realized the good news: it's real! Sure, $ 3.50 for a 1 oz. bar is a little pricey, but what is money when you're talking about fine Swiss chocolate with a hazelnut praline center? I might just sell a hundred shares of GM stock and buy a pair.


Riveting Read





TeeVee


Ever see the police stings where the cops set up a party and invite all the 'stung' criminals to an event so that everyone can be arrested at once? It's clever: the bad guys don't have a chance to warn their partners in crime that the cops are on to them. Well, a TV show is in the works to take it one step further: lure people who have a warrant outstanding into situations where we get to toy with them before revealing the ruse and arresting them.

One of three set-ups just shot in Arizona features the cops luring a criminal to a movie set with the promise of making him an extra and paying him a couple hundred dollars. An elaborate film set is staged and filming begins on a faux movie. The set-up continues as the director then gets mad at the lead actor, fires him and replaces him with the law-breaking extra.

The scene escalates with the fake director introducing the mark to a supposed studio mogul and continuing to create this dream-comes-true sequence. Finally, all the participants are revealed as officers of the law, and the criminal is apprehended (before signing waivers to let the footage be used in the show).

Other scenarios include a fake fashion shoot where the subject thinks he is about to become a supermodel and another in which the mark becomes an auto racer, a set-up which ends when a police car comes up behind him on a race track to pull him over.

“If it were a regular person you’d feel bad for them, but they are all wanted by the law,” Darnell says. “It’s Cops as comedy and no one’s ever tried it before.”

I'm sorry but it feels like this should be some sort of mile-marker on the highway to hell. The excuse that the people you're torturing are criminals just isn't good enough. Hey, you're manipulating this person in order to make them feel especially bad for your own enjoyment. What kind of people do that? That's gladiator stuff.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Crazy Train Going Off the Rails



P.J. O'Rourke:

The left has no idea what's going on in the financial crisis. And I honor their confusion. Jim Jerk down the road from me, with all the cars up on blocks in his front yard, falls behind in his mortgage payments, and the economy of Iceland implodes. I'm missing a few pieces of this puzzle myself.

Under constant political pressure, which went almost unresisted by conservatives, a lot of lousy mortgages that would never be repaid were handed out to Jim Jerk and his drinking buddies and all the ex-wives and single mothers with whom Jim and his pals have littered the nation.

Wall Street looked at the worthless paper and thought, "How can we make a buck off this?" The answer was to wrap it in a bow. Take a wide enough variety of lousy mortgages--some from the East, some from the West, some from the cities, some from the suburbs, some from shacks, some from McMansions--bundle them together and put pressure on the bond rating agencies to do fancy risk management math, and you get a "collateralized debt obligation" with a triple-A rating. Good as cash. Until it wasn't.

Or, put another way, Wall Street was pulling the "room full of horse s--" trick. Brokerages were saying, "We're going to sell you a room full of horse s--. And with that much horse s--, you just know there's a pony in there somewhere."

Anyway, it's no use blaming Wall Street. Blaming Wall Street for being greedy is like scolding defensive linemen for being big and aggressive. The people on Wall Street never claimed to be public servants. They took no oath of office. They're in it for the money. We pay them to be in it for the money. We don't want our retirement accounts to get a 2 percent return. (Although that sounds pretty good at the moment.)

What will destroy our country and us is not the financial crisis but the fact that liberals think the free market is some kind of sect or cult, which conservatives have asked Americans to take on faith. That's not what the free market is. The free market is just a measurement, a device to tell us what people are willing to pay for any given thing at any given moment. The free market is a bathroom scale. You may hate what you see when you step on the scale. "Jeeze, 230 pounds!" But you can't pass a law making yourself weigh 185. Liberals think you can. And voters--all the voters, right up to the tippy-top corner office of Goldman Sachs--think so too.

That was taken from PJ's "look back in remorse on the conservative opportunity that was squandered." I've been avoiding that look back, and I only bring it up in order to chastise those of you who looked at McCain's faults and decided you wouldn't vote at all. Sure, he had his liberal leanings, but look at the alternative. Look at what the stock market has done since it saw the Obama Crazy Train pulling into the station.

Hey, the guy promised you you'd have to make sacrifices. At least he's keeping that promise. Now sit back and watch as he solves this problem by raising taxes on businesses that already pay the second highest tax rates in the world.

His other great idea is to eliminate secret ballots, and make it easier for unions to intimidate workers into certifying unions. And anyone who thinks that won't happen hasn't had enough experience with union organizing. Hey, if intimidation doesn't figure into it, why get rid of secret ballot certification? Think workers would forget whether they wanted a union or not on the way to the ballot box?

OK, last depressing topic of the day, speaking of unions. We need let the US Auto Industry fail. What killed it is unions, not a lack of bailouts. Remember already bailing them out once? Well if we do it now, we'll just be doing it again down the road. Detroit can't compete, because union contracts mandate extravagant, unsustainable, benefits. That's one of the only checks we have on parasitic unions: if they get too greedy, they kill the host. If we pump more blood into GM, UAW will suck it right back out. Sorry, that's cold. But if the UAW won't accept drastic cuts in benefits, I say let them live with the situation they've created.

***Update:
From Carpe Diem: Should We Really Bail Out $73.20 Per Hour Labor?



Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Pretty Funny


Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

I'm thinking of going next door and trying to surrender my car and bank accounts to my more pigmented neighbor. I think he'd get the joke if I could only remain serious long enough. "No, here man, take my wallet too."

Two Pictures



I saw these two pictures near each other on the Yahoo most popular page. Struck me as odd: The King Picks a Hound for Obamalot:

His subjects make spears against the threat of anti-spear laws:

"This'll keep those kids off my lawn."

Two things struck me. One, we're not in too bad of a recession when people are buying thousand dollar guns. Two, the dog picture humanizes Obama. If there's anything dangerous here, it's not the guy gun shopping; it's the threat of a large portion of the population holding on to the Obama-as-Messiah foolishness. The dog picture seems to be a step in the right direction. I think the black-helicopter-Republicans aren't nearly the threat that the Kristallnacht-Democrats are.

One, too real, threat was voiced by Farrakhan yesterday. I don't find the audio anywhere but he promised that the country would face retribution on a biblical scale, should anyone harm this child of light. That is a definite possibility; one that every president faces. It only takes one psycho idiot, and out of a population of 300 million, we always have a few of those on hand. As for a Muslim threatening to make the innocent pay for sins they did not commit, well, I guess that's not news.

Veterans Day




If you see one today, thank one.

Me, I work mainly on military installations so all my jobs are closed today. I always make it a point to thank those I see over the next few days, though. "Hey, veteran, thank you." says enough, and is well received.

Awesome Kid


Extreme wheelchairing - who would have thought there even was such a thing.



h/t: Mr Grumpy

Monday, November 10, 2008

Kumbaya Time



Well this is a breath of fresh air, From 52 to 48 / 48 to 52 With Love. It's people from both the R and the D, the 48 and the 52, showing their messages of love and concern for the other side. Awwww:





And not to spill wine on this party dress or anything but could I ask where all this Kumbaya was when you guys were photoshopping the President into the Kama Sutra with farm animals over the last eight years? Just askin.

OK I know these guys in particular weren't responsible. Anyway, you know I couldn't leave it alone right? Course not:





h/t: gatewaypundit

fighting101s.jpg