Some of these, like an OSHA report on an accidental dismemberment by forklift, are painful to read:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other Sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. - Sue Lin Chong, Washington
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -Joseph Romm, Washington
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. -Roy Ashley, Washington
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. -Russell Beland, Springfield
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. -Barbara Collier, Garrett Park
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. -Susan Reese, Arlington
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -J. F. Knowles, Springfield
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. -Jennifer Hart, Arlington
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -Susan Reese, Arlington
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. -Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
More, as if you could possibly want more, here. Know this though: like my wife going through the box of Christmas chocolates, I've already taken all the good ones.
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