Unintended Consequences

How strange that Al Gore has inadvertently been helping the human side in the Giant Duck Wars. It seems he's taken a private plane up North to talk with the amok Giant Ducks. No, not to talk them out of their attacks on humans. He's trying to get them to testify before congress that they are only leaving the polar regions because Republicans have killed all the polar bears, which had been their most common prey. He's also trying to get several to appear in his new film project: An Inconvenient Duck, which aims to prove that Republicans are the cause of it all.

Funny thing though, about twenty minutes into Gore's presentation, any Giant Duck within earshot will give a little quack, then have its head explode. Gore has eliminated a large number of Ducks already but has stopped looking for new victims. "I'm not doing your dirty work for you," he said, "Let George Bush fight the Giant Ducks. He started it."