Boyda goes, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalaalala.."

From LJWorld, Rep Boyda steps out on Gen.'s testimony:

Boyda, a freshman Democrat from Topeka, said she left the House Armed Services Committee hearing on Friday for about 10 minutes during the testimony of retired Gen. Jack Keane. . . .

Keane had testified that since the troop surge began, U.S. forces "are on the offensive and we have the momentum." He also said that security has improved in every neighborhood and district in and around Baghdad, and that "cafés, pool halls, coffee houses that I visited are full of people."

When Boyda returned to the hearing, she ridiculed Keane's description of Iraq "as in some way or another that it's a place that I might take the family for a vacation--things are going so well--those kinds of comments will in fact show up in the media and further divide this country instead of saying, 'Here's the reality of the problem.' "

Boyda, it seems, wants to suppress information about success in Iraq, because such information would "divide the country." Better that the country be united in defeatism.

You have to wonder, did arguments in favor of civil rights "divide the country"? But it's not about unity, according to a spokesman, it's about conversation:

Boyda’s chief of staff, Shanan Guinn, said Monday that Boyda left the hearing “to kind of compose herself because she’s understandably frustrated with the way the war’s going.”

“She was frustrated with how the administration is handling the war, that no one wants to have a real conversation about ways to move forward and our brave men and women oversees are being played like a political ping pong ball,” Guinn said.

She wants a conversation but not the kind where her side listens to the other side.

h/t: the amazing James Taranto

Fraud and Abuse

Michelle's got it right:

Republicans can’t tell the Dems to clean their House, if they won’t come clean about the GOP’s own dirtbags. Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens is one of the biggest and dirtiest. Now, the feds have raided one of his homes.

You have to wonder if this came as a surprise to Sen. Ted Stevens. He, of "bridge to nowhere" fame. I mean, shouldn't a wise crook at least insist that the projects he takes bribes for benefit his state in some way? Is corruption the real reason we have tax-and-spend republicans?

I say take down all the corrupt congresspeople, D and R alike. And if the US attorneys drag their feet, then I say we ask the congresspeople if we can fire them.

It Wasn't Called Whiteland

It was called Greenland because it was green when my ancestors found it. It was green, then it got much colder, now it may be warming again. And because of that it should be the poster-child-country for the concept of climate. Still our elected feel they can better serve us by visiting the place. Another group just went to the place where "glacial melting and rising sea levels have already forced the human and animal population to adapt" (oh what will we do when that sea level rise gets to us?):

....That sentiment was shared by Sen. Frank Lautenberg, D-N.J., who said that "viewing the vast Greenland ice firsthand underscored the magnitude of the potential consequences of unchecked global warming, since melting Greenland ice would cause a 23-foot rise in sea levels worldwide. The economic and ecological impacts for our country would be devastating."

Twenty-three feet? Let's make it 23 meters. No, make it 23 miles. Sheesh. Can we go back to Paris Hilton now?

The Candidate's Hair

No, not John Edwards', Hillie's. This from the amazing K-Lo at the Corner:



***Update: And because Photoshop is always running on my computer:

Judge Roberts

The story is that Judge Roberts fell and was taken to the hospital and is probably fine. So I thought I'd check HuffPo to see how their moderators are doing with the fringe majority on that site. Only 6 comments so far, and no I-hope-all-the-brown-shirts-die posts. One though was cute:

He took Harriet Miers' position, remember? WHEN not if Bush goes to the SC to challenge Miers' contempt charge, Roberts will rule in favor of the thugs who just beat him up and sent him to the hospital. Roberts just learned that he can get beat up, sent to the hospital, and the news will report he "fell." Damn, that's gotta hurt.

If that doesn't read like a Bush Mafia threat... you haven't been paying attention.

Wheeee! Always fun at the Huffpo!

Monday Ducks

A twofer, ducks and Rageboy.

Sure, It Looked Good on Paper

Who, but a bureaucrat, would try to fight
Giant Plastic Ducks with blow-up dinosaurs?

Protests

CPDRC inmates doing "Hail Holy Queen"

Filipino inmates at the Cebu provincial jail, some wearing nun's costumes, perform a mass dance routine, "Hail Holy Queen" from Sister Act. If I was going to be locked up with a bunch of guys in the Philippines.... I'd see what else was available. Click on it to go to the youtube page and see other acts of insanity.

Free Speech

What has Germaine Greer has become? She called Princess Diana 'devious, slow and disturbingly neurotic,' Why? And remember her nastiness after Steve Irwin's death? Why, ever, call the dead names? Was it because they were so popular, and Ms Greer never was? Or because they can't fight back?

Germaine Greer should hook up with Jimmy Carter so they can spend the rest of their days in some retirement community criticizing the rest of the world that still matters.

Mmmm, Tap Water

Did you see where Aquafina is going to start labeling it's water as being from the tap? This is so the environmentally concerned can pay a buck fifty for 16 oz.s of water without feeling guilty about it.

They'll still have to individually work out a rational for not feeling stupid about paying a buck fifty for 16 oz.s of water.

Good Morning Duck

Hello, Mr. field duck.

Pot

New Lancet report:

A single joint of cannabis raises the risk of schizophrenia by more than 40 per cent, a disturbing study warns.

The Government-commissioned report has also found that taking the drug regularly more than doubles the risk of serious mental illness.

All I can say is wow. That is what they were telling us in the 50's and 60's. I suppose some of us listened and some of us are in hiding because Paula Zahn is out to get us and she's got a machine that can steal our thoughts and turn them to voices that tell us to do bad things. Bad, bad things. Why, oh why can't the mother ship just come and stop her?

Really? this is scary. If true, I mean. Course, it's a study, and if I was a pot smoker, I'd rationalize: hey the next study will say the opposite, I don't smoke that much, I'll quit before I get too squirrelly, etc. etc. So if it's true I hope the word gets out in a way that will convince our pot smokers. We don't have a great track record with that.

(Ron Paul joke deleted because it was in poor taste)

Berlin Fashion Week

I really love Berlin fashion week. This year doesn't seem as zany as some years past, no paper maché skirts, or hats with goldfish in them. Anyway, going through the slide show, I come to this image. Ha! I see that Those Who Dictate Fashion are still trying to copy my abs. Give it up, guys. You'll never get it exactly right. And besides, that's my old look. I've moved on from that look. Long ago.

What Makes America Great

Change that to almost makes America great. This image is from a high-heel race in St.Petersburg. Course, it looks like the kind of thing Americans would do, right? But sadly, no, it was St.Petersburg, Russia. Still, at least it happened in a place named after a city in Florida. Way to go Rooskies!

Pork

Porkbusters has a spreadsheet of the 1776 earmarks in the Defense appropriations bill. 1776? how patriotic. But what caught my eye was who the big earmarkers were:

Member # Earmarks Requested
Young, C.W. Bill 59
Murtha, John 46
Lewis, Jerry 38
Moran, James 30
Visclosky, Peter 28
Kingston, Jack 26
Tiahrt, Todd 25
Dicks, Norman 24
Kaptur, Marcy 21
Cramer, Robert 20
Frelinghuysen, Rodney 20
Hobson, David 20

John Murtha has 46 in there? This guy?:

....a videotape of a Jan. 7, 1980 Abscam-related meeting involving Murtha shows that the congressman's rejection of the offered bribe was less than definite. "I'm not interested. I'm sorry," Murtha told the FBI agent, but added that he meant "at this point.

"You know, we do business for a while, maybe I'll be interested, maybe I won't," Murtha said on the FBI videotape.

Sheesh. We never learn.

Qacar, NO!

Hear about Oscar, the nursing home cat who can predict who's going to die?

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Just a thought, but maybe the nursing home staff should keep a close watch on this cat.

Pank Lady

Translated: "There's another 3 minutes 15 seconds you won't get back."

Political

John watched the scene from the dock and sighed. "I'd like to be out there with them," he said to Elizabeth, "but, there are only two things that would sink my campaign: close scrutiny, and being photographed with wet hair."

"We picked the wrong year to give up snorting hash," she replied.

There's Good News Too

It doesn't kill them, darnit, but someone discovered that you can repel the ducks with alphorns. Apparently a group in New Jersey was able to keep the ducks away from their church picnic by looping a Ricola commercial over the PA system.

Futile Battles

No not in Iraq. There are signs the surge is working. The futile battles are going on in California, where they continue to engage the enemy ducks with outdated tactics.


For the hundredth time people: you can't defeat them with water. They're ducks!

Ducks

I know I'm running the risk of just becoming another Duck Blog:
warning: sound, French

Rule of Thumb

Ever have trouble remembering who are the moderates in the Middle East? I mean, it's always changing, right? So who are the Palestinian moderates these days, Fatah of Hamas? Not sure? Well, don't worry, I've figured out a rule that will always tell which ones are moderates and which are extremists.

Rule: The moderates are the ones who paint their rockets pastel colors.

Photojournalism

I like what Drudge (or whoever he got the photos from) did: Spliced two pictures together to show Obama and Clinton facing each other. Although I couldn't physically get drunk enough to vote for either of them, I have to say that of the two, Hillary looks the most impressive overall.


But face it, crop the photos a different way and it becomes clear: Obama is the better listener.

Where's the Honor in This?

And where's the denunciation from moderate Muslims?

LONDON (Reuters) - A Kurdish woman was brutally raped, stamped on and strangled by members of her family and their friends in an "honor killing" carried out at her London home because she had fallen in love with the wrong man.

Trouble at the Zoo

Zoo officials in Wenling, China said they had never before witnessed rabbits getting into the tigers' cage. Well of course not, rabbits and tigers are natural enemies.


I wonder if there's a Chinese PETA?

enbigenclick

There's Something About Al

Woo-hoo! Al gore and Cameron Diaz team up to get the message across that we need to change the way we live. Course, it's "none for me, thank you" when it comes to changing their lifestyles. But with those two climate scientists on the case, I'm sure the rest of the world is going to be convinced.

h/t: Tim Blair

Safe Travel

It's a complex world. The threat to air travel would appear to mainly be from men of Middle Eastern appearance. But CAIR has lawyers ready to sue you if you express concern about bizarre behavior from Middle Eastern men.

It is unknown if CAIR is behind the flying (walking) Imams, but witnesses reported that the Imams behaved bizarrely. And now CAIR is helping them bring lawsuits. Why would the Democrats oppose a bill to shield ordinary citizens from lawsuits for reporting suspicious behavior? Don't any of them fly commercial?


Message to lawsuit-baiting men from the Middle East: behave bizarrely on my plane and you'll have to worry about a seat-belt extender enema. We'll let the lawyers figure out if you needed it at a later date.

Cheney Flexes His Muscle

President for just three hours, Cheney ordered the trapping and caging of PETA protesters. Sadly, his executive power ran out before he could order cosmetic testing be done on them.

Harry Reid Asks for Observer Status

From Breitbart:

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush will have a colonoscopy Saturday and temporarily hand presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said.

Really, a colonoscopy? After Harry Reid's first hundred days, a colonoscopy would seem redundant.

Fact of Fiction?

Some have questioned the account of "Scott Thomas" the new fictional whistle-blower from Iraq who has all the dirt on the terrible things we do to steal Arab oil. In particular, some have questioned his description of "square backed" 9mm shell casings.

Well I guess the evidence speaks for itself. Apparently the unicorn mounted Iraqi police do use such a round.

***Update: It's a photoshop! And even if it weren't, there are no unicorn-mounted Iraqi police. Saddam killed all the unicorns.

***Update again: Maybe there is something to this "Scott Thomas". He seems to have also found some of the special bullets that the Iraqi police use to shoot around corners.

Hillary Answers Elizabeth

It's true, everything is news nowadays. Ignoring his own need to butch-up, John Edwards gets his wife to accuse Hillary of not being feminine enough. Now Hillary responds with this:

"There wasn't an unseemly amount of cleavage showing, but there it was. Undeniable."

There it is John, undeniable. I can't wait to see the Edwards response. Will it be a cleavage race to the belly button between Elizabeth Edwards and Hillary Clinton? (this is the one I'm rooting for) Or will John Edwards fem-up some (more)? Time will tell.

Duckification of Plame

The old Gypsy woman warned Valerie that if she told a lie the spell would be broken and she would revert to her original duck form.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I know, I know. It's a lake. Lake Karma.

The Horrors of Beef

Su Taylor, or a bunch of typing cows pretending to be Su Taylor said:

Su Taylor, the press officer for the Vegetarian Society, told New Scientist: "Everybody is trying to come up with different ways to reduce carbon footprints, but one of the easiest things you can do is to stop eating meat."

It just goes on, and on, and on, doesn't it? Apparently Japanese scientists (what would we do without them) found:

Producing 2.2lb of beef generates as much greenhouse gas as driving a car non-stop for three hours, it was claimed yesterday.

OK, so next time I eat a 2.2 pound steak, I'll feel guilty. In fact, right here I'm going to make a pledge to limit my steaks to just 20 or 24 oz.s. And I promise to always ask for a baked potato with sour cream and butter with my steak so as to fill me up and keep me from being tempted to order a second steak. It's a pledge. Hey, I feel like an eco-warrior already.

Also pretty cool is the fact that Al Gore is with me on this one. In fact, this may be the one area in which Al Gore is more eco-friendly than me. He burns hundreds of times more jet fuel than me, hundreds of times more heating fuel, and he beats me in just about every other area of consumption, but by golly, the man has made the switch over to a total Cinnabon diet so you can't say he isn't trying.

Supermodels

Yikes, did you see:

NEW YORK - Gisele Bundchen tops Forbes.com's list of the world's richest models, earning $33 million in the last 12 months.

I can do math: say she's probably ten times better looking than me. And take off 50% because I'm a guy. OK, and take off another 50% for the age differential. Alright, and another 50% for the odious hump. That's still $412,500.00. Hire me. I've been practicing my wistful smile all morning.

Gates of Vienna Update

UPDATE: Woo-hoo. (which is my response to most things) Baron has been released from blogger limbo!


No news yet on the Blogger block of Gates of Vienna. But I still haven't gotten a bounce from support@blogger.com so maybe it's a good address. They seem to be famous for unresponsiveness to complaints though. (that is probably due to the vast number of "customers" they've got) I'm going to keep writing even though I suspect my mail ends up in the bulk mail bin.

Glazastik

Must keel squeerrill!






h/t Boing

Silly Senate

Sen. Mary Landrieu recites the Dem talking points, but doesn't get into what we do if bin Laden is in Pakistan, or dead, or both. Thanks though, Mary, I'm sure the guys out looking for bin Laden appreciate your visual aid. Also unexplained is what would happen if we left Iraq. One thing she is sure of though, Bush bad.

We know what's really on your mind though.

Unfairness Doctrine?

A message from Baron at Gates of Vienna:

I just attempted to post at Gates of Vienna, and was told by an automatic message that our blog is suspected of being a spam blog, and has been blocked by Blogger.

The full text of the message:

“This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.”

And here’s what Blogger says about what we are suspected of:

“What Are Spam Blogs?

“As with many powerful tools, blogging services can be both used and abused. The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.”

I followed Blogger’s instructions, typed in the visible letters to prove that I was not a bot, and am now awaiting a response from the Powers That Be.

In the meantime, I can’t even post a notice at Gates of Vienna bout what is going on.

If you don’t think Gates of Vienna is a spam blog (and assuming that your blog has not also been blocked by Blogger), please post a notice about what has happened. If you know of a way to contact Blogger or Google, please let them know that Gates of Vienna is *not* a spam blog, regardless of how politically incorrect it is.

That’s:

Thank you.

Nobody who has read Gates of Vienna is going to mistake it for a spam blog. My guess it is kos kids, or similar, reporting the blog as spam because they don't like the message and don't have an argument to counter it.

Blogger makes it very hard to find an e-mail address for the admin team, so I'm writing to support@blogger.com. I'll post a better address if I can find one. It wouldn't hurt to let blogger know how you feel. They should be concerned by this kind of screw-up because there are certainly alternative hosting sites out there.

Note:

Baron will be posting at The Vigilant Freedom/910 group blog if this goes on for any length of time. Also, so far mail to support@blogger.com hasn't bounced.

DVD Released

Well it's July 17th, the release date for the new DVD, Islam: What the West Needs to Know, starring Mr Robert Spencer, of Jihad Watch. My copy is on order. From the Amazon page:

Virtually every major Western leader has over the past several years expressed the view that Islam is a peaceful religion and that those who commit violence in its name are fanatics who misinterpret its tenets. This claim, while widely circulated, rarely attracts serious public examination. Now, the question is finally being asked, "Is Islam itself violent?"

Above is a photoshop I did for Jihad Watch. No, those guys aren't really holding copies of the DVD. Click on the photo for the Amazon page.

For Harry Reid's Office

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley Kills Snape and runs off with Hagrid to hunt polar bears.


OK, maybe that's not true. But maybe it is!

Word is, the ending to the Last Harry Potter book is on the internet. And human nature being what it is, we need not fear anyone spilling the beans, because nobody would want to spoil it for the rest of us.

Oh wait, human nature is like that on Opposite Day; every other day of the year, people will be happy to spoil it for you. So, unless you rip the modem from the wall you will come across the ending before you get a chance to read the book. My advice? Obfuscate. We need to all write our own endings and post them around the www so that the real ending is lost in the forest. Sound impossible? Well yeah, probably.

The Debates

Worst Nightmare

NEW YORK - "Sicko" filmmaker Michael Moore called a truce Monday in his weeklong fight with CNN that flared when the network accused him of fudging facts in his popular documentary about the health-care system.

Moore had promised the network over the weekend that "I'm about to become your worst nightmare,"

So worst nightmare averted. For now.

I have to admit that Michael Moore was once my worst nightmare. It was very troubling until I found a simple trick for diffusing it: I would just repeat over and over as I drifted off to sleep: "no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex, no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex, no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex...."

Great Literature

click bigger
From BoingBoing:

We can now grasp the origins of the Bush administration's foreign policy! It was all there in T-Man #3, 55 years ago!

How proud this guy is! Exclamation marks for everybody! Somehow I don't think I would get that excited if my view of realty was the same as one from an old comic book. Hey guys! Look at this! We believe what the comic book does!

Uh, yes. And maybe that should tell you something.

The Surgeon General

Cynthia Tucker is shocked, shocked! that there was political pressure placed on the politically appointed surgeon general (Richard Carmona):

He was even discouraged from going to the Special Olympics, a charitable event that supports disabled Americans, because the organization is linked to a prominent Democratic family. "I was specifically told by a senior person, 'Why would you want to help those people,'" Dr. Carmona said, referring to the family of Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass.

Sounds to me as though Dr Carmona construed any offhand comment as marching orders. At the very least, whoever passed on the orders to snub the Special Olympics should have also informed President Bush before he gave a dinner to honor them:

President Bush: "If you ever had any doubt about how much good one person can do, look no further than this kind and gracious lady. On this special occasion, I ask you to join me in a toast to the Special Olympics, and to Eunice Kennedy Shriver, and to her contributions to our nation -- past, present, and future. God bless."

No doubt that as the President offered the toast, aides were crouched on the floor beside him frantically sotto voicing, "noooo,noooo, Mr President, we don't like her.."

As for stem cells (read the article for Cynthia's whining), aren't members of the Administration expected to at least not contradict stated policy?

New Picture, Old Picture?

There seems to be some confusion as to age of the recently released bin Laden clip. Careful analysis shows that this is old footage.

How can you tell? Easy. From the above frame grab we see that he is with his first wife, who disappeared sometime in 2003, reportedly because she couldn't adapt to life in the caves.

Pamplona

Good News - Bad News

The Bad News: They've utilized disguises to blend into the non-Giant Duck population. Oh, and they're anarchists.


The good news: You can anticipate their attacks because they are always preceded by a 4/4 string ostinato in D-minor.

Tag, I'm it

So Gates has tagged me. Random Facts is the tag. These are the rules:

1. Let others know who tagged you.

2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.

3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.

4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

5. If none of the rules say, "don't change the rules," feel free to add 3 rules your own.

6. These extra rules don't count however.

7. d'oh!

OK the random facts:

• I am not really a lumberjack.
• I do, however, own several flannel shirts.
• I can travel through time. (though only in the usual direction, at the usual speed)
• I was a liberal in college.
• I go through the self check-out at the supermarket because I'll sometimes freeze when they ask, "paper or plastic".
• I was an idiot in college. Sorry, already did that one.
• I like to cook.
• No, really.
• I've already lost count of the random facts, and am unsure which ones should really qualify as part of the eight.
• I've never been much of a guy for following the rules.
• I'm also aware that most of my readers don't count so good.
• I enjoy my work.
• I drive too fast, and too aggressively, but only when I'm alone.
• I started the fad of wearing short sleeve shirts with a fabric softener sheet sticking half-way out one arm hole.

OK there they are, eight random facts. And I'll tag OMMAG, Stonestead, Wry Mouth, OregonGuy, Dallas, Such is Life, and A Modicum of Decorum. And I'll see who else I've got e-mail addresses for. That should have been my first and most prominent fact: I am not that organized.

Thanks to Dymphna at Gates of Vienna for the tag, even though I still haven't finished the last tag from about 6 months ago.

Bonus fact:

• As a general rule at our house, when two people head for the bathroom at once, preference is given to whichever one is willing to say, "but I have to pee like crazy." That person then has to go in and make noises like a crazy person loud enough to be heard throughout the house.

***Update: Ha, tagged Six Meat too. I can't believe I actually followed the rules on part of this.

Be On Your Guard

As we learn more about the Giant Ducks, we become better able to fight them. Of course, their tactics are changing too, so be on your guard. One thing that may be of use: Don't ever invite them into your home. They can be really charming but that will change the instant you invite them in.



Apparently, like vampires, they can't enter a residence unless they are invited in by a human. So they will say anything in order to gain entry. "Oh, we're moderate Ducks, we think decimating cities is wrong. We just want to be your friends. My, that necklace looks stunning on you...."

Just don't invite them in. Don't do it. Really.

Smaller Debates

DETROIT (AP) - Democrats John Edwards and Hillary Rodham Clinton consider themselves among the top presidential candidates.

They were caught by Fox News microphones discussing their desire to limit future joint appearances to exclude some lower rivals after a forum in Detroit Thursday.

Edwards says, "We should try to have a more serious and a smaller group."

Clinton agrees, saying, "We've got to cut the number, oh, don't stop licking my forehead."

Edwards replies, "First say that I'll be included in the debates."

Hillary argues, "John, look you're pretty and we all really like you, but you're not what I'd call an intellectual heavyweight. Just keep licking my forehead, that really feels refreshing."

But Edwards stands firm, "Not until you promise."

Hillary, exasperated, "Oh John, you're such a pill. OK, I promise. Happy? Now come on, back to work pretty boy."

Cow Problems

Kevin Atherton has noted new research indicating that cows are problematic at both ends. Seems their burps are ruining the planet. (too) So many things are ruining the planet, sometimes it's hard to keep track of them all.

Anyway, Kevin has updated his Inconvenient Cow Poster to reflect the new peril:

Unintended Consequences

How strange that Al Gore has inadvertently been helping the human side in the Giant Duck Wars. It seems he's taken a private plane up North to talk with the amok Giant Ducks. No, not to talk them out of their attacks on humans. He's trying to get them to testify before congress that they are only leaving the polar regions because Republicans have killed all the polar bears, which had been their most common prey. He's also trying to get several to appear in his new film project: An Inconvenient Duck, which aims to prove that Republicans are the cause of it all.

Funny thing though, about twenty minutes into Gore's presentation, any Giant Duck within earshot will give a little quack, then have its head explode. Gore has eliminated a large number of Ducks already but has stopped looking for new victims. "I'm not doing your dirty work for you," he said, "Let George Bush fight the Giant Ducks. He started it."

Good News, Bad News

Do you want the bad news first? The Giant Ducks are TRANSFORMERS!!


The good news is: They only transform into Giant Ducks again.


Oh, wait a minute. That's bad news.

We Welcome Our Giant Duck Overlords

Bill Maher on the Duckzilla invasion, "I just want to remark on everyone else's ignorance. You call the Giant Ducks cowards but they're out there. They're in the mix, every day. I think they're very brave. You people don't understand Giant Ducks at all. It's as plain as the nose on my face."

On the Table?

Did you hear the Barbara Boxer clip about how impeachment should be on the table? She goes on to name several things that she doesn't like about Bush. Why? Does she think you can impeach a president because he has done things you don't like? Actually, I'll bet she does know that. She just knows her audience is too stupid to think beyond their liberal knee-jerk Bushitler. You can be sure that if there was an impeachable crime, it would be her story. A crime that requires impeachment, not an impeachment that requires a crime.

She repeated the lie that she used on Condi Rice: that we went into Iraq for WMDs. There were many reasons the President gave in his State of the Union speech just before we went in. You can google it. Again, her audience isn't interested in the truth. It's simple: WMDs as our only reason for going into Iraq is a liberal invention.

Concerning Saddam and WMDs though, here's Barbara Boxer in November of 2002:

"Iraq made commitments after the Gulf War to completely dismantle all weapons of mass destruction, and unfortunately, Iraq has not lived up to its agreement."

Yukon Cornelius

Before reading the name in the comments, I had no idea who Yukon Cornelius was. But, good news, he and his Yeti (dog?) have joined the conflict.


Bad news is that so far the Yeti only seems to be interested in "romancing" the Giant Ducks. "Romancing" is the term Yukon Cornelius used, "You don't want to know what we call it," he added.

I'll take his word on that.

More Sightings

We now have reports that the Giant Ducks are everywhere. That can only mean one thing: that the Giant Ducks are everywhere.



***Update: Not to worry, help is on the way:



On second thought, it might be wise to move inland:


Ahab: I consign thee to the depths of hell, and from the depths of hell I stab at thee.....
Giant Duck: Quack! Quack!
Ahab: To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee...
Giant Duck: Quaaaaak!
Ahab: for hate's sake I spit my last breath... oh, never mind...

Worse? You ask could it get worse?



It can always get worse. These ones are not only vampires...



.... they're Democrats. That's right, Giant Democratic vampire Jihadi Ducks. If you think about it, it was inevitable.

Meanwhile, up North, the carnage continues..



While in some places they aren't even aware of the problem.... yet.



And who ever thought Greenpeace would do battle on the side of the humans? Go Ducks! Faster!



Out West, Nick Nolte has climbed on top of one and is vomiting on him repeatedly. They say the Giant Duck is weakening. Go Nick! Use your powers on him!




as always, click to ginormalize

Had to Happen

Tim Blair reported a giant duck sighting in France, probably a foie gras related protest. Figures we'd get one too. Ours is (no doubt) connected to global warming though.

Village People

From the Corner:

Re: The Gay Debate [Jonah Goldberg]

Not that I'm endorsing it, but how long until some blogger photoshops the Dem candidates into the guys from the Village People? I say it happens by lunchtime, if it hasn't already.

Never let it be said that I don't do my part for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Even when I don't quite get the reasoning behind the assignment.

Debates

LOGO and HRC have put together a debate on issues of concern to the LGBT community. "We're going to TCB for the LGBT with the DNC" said a VP from MTV and the LOGO network.

If the article had mentioned someone arriving in a BMW I would have at least known what one if those acronyms was. What HRC? ok, something is going on at the Hard Rock Cafe, I got that much. And LOGO, the Lincolnshire Organic Gardeners Organization is going to help out. And my best guess is they'll be addressing the concerns of Large German Bomb Technicians. Well, I think we can all agree that's long overdue.

The GayPatriot has an serious reaction, which I pretty much agree with, "After all, how better to further advance the cause of self-victimization then to have all of the Democrats pander to you for one whole night?"

Typical Presidential Appearance

From the Washington Times Fishwrap:

Bush jokes. Crowd laughs. Girl cries.
A question for President Bush on immigration rose up like a ghost from the grave this afternoon in Ohio.

Only the questioner was a 13-year old blonde-headed girl, Jessica Hackerd, from Brecksville, Ohio, who immediately broke into tears after making her inquiry.

"Mr. President, I know immigration has been a big problem in the U.S. And what is your next step with the immigration bill?" Jessica asked Mr. Bush, during a question and answer period after a speech Mr. Bush gave to a Cleveland business group.

Mr. Bush's sarcastic reply -- a wry "yeah, thanks" -- drew laughter from the crowd of 400. But the attention caused young Jessica, who characterized herself in an interview afterward as very shy, to immediately tear up.

"No, it's a great question. No, I appreciate that," Mr. Bush said, as he saw Jessica's reaction.

Jessica, in the interview, said that she was crying because she was so nervous.

But when the president's sarcastic answer was mentioned, she said, "I heard that too."

Mr. Bush went on to speak more than 1,100 words about the death of his proposed comprehensive immigration reform, which was a heavy blow when it fell apart last month.

But Jessica, there with her parents and younger sister, continued to wipe tears from her eyes for several minutes, and midway through his answer, Mr. Bush again tried to encourage the distraught youngster without drawing too much attention to her.

"It's a great question by the way, and I'm glad you asked it," Mr. Bush said.

But when the president finished taking questions, an aide immediately went to Jessica and took her backstage.

After Mr. Bush had finished shaking hands for over 10 minutes, he met with Jessica and her family.

Just then a wail rose up along with a loud crack, "YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! GET CHENEY IN HERE! HERE, GIVE ME THAT CHAIR!" WHACK! WHACK!

OK, just kidding. Cheney wasn't even involved.
h/t the Corner

Bear Story

BTW, look at how big that bear's head is compared to the basketball.



Anyway:

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a large university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear....

Sorry, have to go here for the rest of the story. Then take a look around - a semi-new blogger doing a good job of it. A Modicum of Decorum.

Bowling for Fords

"The wrecking ball damaged numerous vehicles after it broke loose from a crane on the campus of Allegheny College and rolled down North Main Street before hitting the Taurus."

Can you imagine? You look in the rear view mirror and say, no, that can't be a wrecking ball chasing me down the street like in the Terminator movies. Wham.

Hit the Road Jack

Hit play, but be warned, someday at the end of a long and happy life, you'll lie there thinking about how most things went well for you...... then it will hit you: "I wish I hadn't wasted that 2 minutes 02 seconds on that Hit the Road video."



Worst case, close your eyes and listen to the genius, Ray.

Jihadi Posters

Little Green Footballs has the link to a disturbing new trend:

The jihadis and/or their Western enablers are getting more creative with their propaganda; photoshopped images of American movie posters have begun appearing on jihad web sites...

Geee, I don't know how we could respond to such clever Jihadis.





click to enbiggen

Where's the Royalties?

First let me ask: Is there anything so pleasing to the eyes as a black-eyed girl? Yeah, I agree.

So in case you haven't been following:

Los Angeles (E! Online) - According to some, Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" is far from The Best Damn Thing.

Songwriters Tommy Dunbar, of the band the Rubinoos, and James Gangwer sued the Canadian pop princess Monday for copyright infringement, claiming that her hit single closely resembles their 1979 tune "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend," because both feature that catchy, "Hey, hey, you, you" part.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I wanna be your boyfriend," goes the Rubinoos' track, while Lavigne, of course, opines, "Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend," among other "hey, hey, you, you" attention-getting devices, including "I want to be your girlfriend" and "I know that you like me."

What they don't say: The Rubinoos tune was a rip-off of my dad's original work. It was he who coined the phrase "Hey, Hey, You! You! Get off of my lawn!" many years before the Rubinoos tune came out.

One More Rage Boy

Don't photoshop Rage Boy. Once you start, stopping is very difficult.

***Update: O.K. Two

She's Back

How's the song go? "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" Wasn't it last month Cindy said she was taking a break from the spotlight? That's turned into a not-so-much:

Last week, she announced her caravan to Washington, an undertaking she calls the "people's accountability movement."

"I didn't expect to be back so soon, but the focus is different than it was before," Sheehan said Sunday. "Instead of talking and making accusations, we're going into communities and talking to the people who've been hurt by the Bush regime. We're finding out how we can help people."

Sure. Then there's the run against Pelosi. No doubt to be followed by the Going Away Again Tour.

Bicycles

A those clever French:

The French are turning Paris into a bicycle zone, pretty much overnight. Even now, astride small alleys and behind boulangeries, paving stones are being ripped to fit 750 bicycle rent "stations."

No not clever as in save-the-earth clever. Clever as in give-the-"youths"-something harder to burn clever. I'm sure a bicycle can be torched but it's bound to be less satisfying. Maybe they can be weaned off burning transportation devices altogether. "Don't complain about the bicycle Marcel, next month we're switching to roller-blades."

A Reasonable Request

It's Working Al

Al Gore is bringing us all together like a big pile of Kumbaya humming flowers.

Mosque cleric Abdul Rashid Ghazi has said, "I will accept martyrdom before surrender...."
President Pervez Musharraf replies, "If they don't surrender, I'm saying it here, they will be killed,"
From somewhere inside the mosque the cry rings out, "They have accepted our terms!"

iPhone

We will use your technology against you, infidel dogs!

That's How We Roll in Glasgow

OK I probably shouldn't admit that I can't understand a word he's saying. But you know, he helped thump the burnt, pepper-sprayed, privates-kicked, terrorist, so whatever he's saying is fine with me. He's John Smeaton, famous terrorist thumper. Have a good weekend.

Testers Needed

You saw the story:

MELBOURNE, Australia - A major condom brand said Friday it expected thousands of applicants for a new unpaid job on offer — condom tester.

Durex said 200 adult Australians — men and women — are wanted to test a range of its condoms.

And I'm sure they will get thousands of applicants. But what about real-world testing? Back in the day, condoms had two uses. First as water balloons, and second, as wallet padding. If I remember correctly, you put a condom in your wallet, then, nine years later, after a permanent "O" had been embossed into the leather, you gave up on ever using it, and threw it out. I remember some of us would name our condoms, some would even whisper encouragement to them. But none of my crew ever encountered a situation in which one could be put to use. Hey, maybe that's why our generation didn't require classes in school on proper condom use. Maybe it wasn't because we were so much smarter than today's youth. Maybe it was because it was obvious that no skills would be required of us until well into adulthood. Probably a good thing too. I can imagine: the sexual revolution happens and half my peers die in condom mishaps. "We've got another one doctor. Dear God, how do you get that many condoms over your head?"

Talk Talk

No, this isn't about talk radio, which issues of free speech aside... wait a minute. Why should we put free speech aside? Never mind, this isn't about that. This is about a new study that says - Study: Women don't talk more than guys

Now my first thought was that this must be accurate. After all, most women only speak once a day. Course, they start at sunrise and don't finish the thought until well after everyone else has gone to bed; but technically it's only once a day.

But then I read the article. It says that the number of words is roughly equal. Really? How can this be, I wondered. Then I realized that this too must be true. What is needed now is a study of how the sexes compare when you take out the 'yes dear's, the 'certainly my darling's, and the 'please go on's.

National Health

Tim Blair is hilarious:

Details emerge of the attempted London bombing:

The London bomb plot allegedly planned by a cell of doctors failed early last Friday morning because a medical syringe used as part of the firing mechanism caused a malfunction, ABC News has learned.

Somewhere in England a patient is wandering around with a detonator in his arm.

The Hero

Can there be any doubt who will win the Jihadi/civilization confrontation?:

A HERO cabbie who took on the Glasgow Airport terror suspects told yesterday how he booted one of them in the privates.

Alex McIlveen, 45, kicked the man, whose body was in flames, so hard that he tore a tendon in his foot.

But he said last night: "He didn't even flinch. I couldn't believe he didn't go down.

"A doctor told me later I'd damaged a tendon in my foot."

So it's clear civilization won this round. "We love death as you love life" is obviously propaganda, what they mean is "we love to talk our idiot brothers into doing stupid things, like you love life." But what better answer can the west give than, "we love to pepper spray, and nad-kick the flaming idiots you've talked into loving death, send more like this."

Of course this whole thing could have been different. Civilized people could have died. But this time, as the Jihadi did a Richard Prior in front of the terminal, burning up, and blind from pepper spray, the Almighty sent him a cabbie. All I can say is, nice going God, that's poetry.

h/t Jonah @ the Corner

Dirty Laundry Here

Here's a tough job: being Al Gore's kid. So I'm sure you've read about the youngster going off the rails in LA:

Al Gore III -- whose father is a leading advocate of policies to fight global warming -- was driving his environmentally friendly car at about 100 miles per hour on a freeway south of Los Angeles when he was pulled over by an Orange County sheriff's deputy at about 2:15 a.m.

The deputy smelled marijuana and searched the car, said sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino.

It has to be rough to do your best tomfoolery, then have your dad's greatest wrath directed at the carbon implications of your shenanigans. "Do you know how much CO2 a joint gives off? I just hope it was locally grown organic!" Never mind the Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, Adderall and Soma found in the car, "dammit, a Prius just burns too much fuel at those speeds!"

And what has to be the worst aspect of the whole blow-up: being in treatment during Dad's Big Woodstock. Instead of snorking coke backstage, little Al will be watching the concert in the Day Room on the Sylvania, next to an unshaven, slightly scary, guy who's swatting at spiders that aren't really there.

Ah, well, stiff upper lip kid. At least half the nation is with you on the old man's hypocrisy.

Happy Fourth

On this July 4, we would do well to renounce nationalism and all its symbols....

OK Howard Zinn, if that really is your name. And come Halloween, you'll be renouncing candy, I assume?

Hillary

KEOKUK, Iowa - Democratic presidential contender Hillary Rodham Clinton drew a distinction between President Bush's decision to commute the sentence of White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby — which she has harshly criticized — and her husband's 140 pardons in his closing hours in office.

Oh, please Hillary. You don't want to bring up Bill's pardons.

***Update: The possibly superhuman James Taranto enumerates:

But let's go back and review some of Mr. Clinton's pardons. The one everyone remembers is that of Marc Rich, the fugitive tax evader who renounced his citizenship and whose wife was a big Clinton donor. (Coincidentally, Rich was a client of Scooter Libby, then a lawyer in private practice.) But from CNN, here's a contemporaneous list of other 11th-hour pardons:

* Roger Clinton, who was convicted of drug-related charges in the 1980s. He was sentenced to two years in prison after pleading guilty in 1985 to conspiring to distribute cocaine. He cooperated with authorities and testified against other drug defendants.

* Susan McDougal, a former real estate business partner of the Clintons. She was sentenced in 1996 and released from prison in 1998. She was convicted of four felonies related to a fraudulent $300,000 federally backed loan that she and her husband, James McDougal, never repaid. One tenth of the loan amount was placed briefly in the name of Whitewater Development, the Arkansas real estate venture of the Clintons and the McDougals. . . .

* Henry Cisneros, who served as secretary of Housing and Urban Development during Clinton's first term in office. He was convicted of making false statements to FBI agents conducting a background investigation of him when he was nominated to the Cabinet post in 1993. They included misleading investigators about cash payments he made to a former mistress.

* Former CIA Director John Deutch. The one-time spy chief and top Pentagon official was facing criminal charges in connection with his mishandling of national secrets on a home computer.

Among the beneficiaries of Mr. Clinton's pardons, then, were his own brother, a central figure in the Whitewater scandal, and two members of his own cabinet, one of whom, unlike Libby, actually faced charges of mishandling national secrets. Yet Mrs. Clinton can keep a straight face while throwing around charges of "cronyism"? This borders on sociopathy.

Primum non nocere

Primum non nocere, means "First, do no harm." It is not part of the Hippocratic Oath as is often believed. But it is a precept taught to all medical students. Actually, the whole phrase is "Primum non nocere, nisi is non persolvo" which means, "First, do no harm, unless he doesn't pay." Which is why surgeons will sometimes leave sponges of surgical tools in you when they suspect you might run out on your bill. Which, you know, fair's fair. But what about these Jihadi doctors over in the UK? Pretty much missed the point, wouldn't you say?

So maybe we should change it to, "Primum non nocere, quod nos vere vilis is", which is as close as I can get to: "First, do no harm, and we really mean it."

It's an Outrage!

I wonder if the judge who wanted the frog-march to begin for Scooter Libby realized that he was unmarching the frog. (unfrogging the march?) (unmarching the unfrog?) (unmarchfrogging the frogging march?)

President Bush commuted the sentence of former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby on Monday, sparing him from a 2 1/2-year prison term that Bush said was excessive.

Chucky says:

"As Independence Day nears, we're reminded that one of the principles our forefathers fought for was equal justice under the law. This commutation completely tramples on that principle," Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., said through a spokesman.

Tramples it! I say! But if he'd been convicted of cocaine trafficking... He would have wished that he'd worked for Bill Clinton instead. Or been connected somehow, like these folks:

ALLEN, Verla Jean Everton, Arkansas False statements to agency of United States
ALTIERE, Nicholas M. Las Vegas, Nevada Importation of cocaine
ALTSCHUL, Bernice Ruth Sherman Village, California Conspiracy to commit money laundering
ANDERSON, Joe, Jr. Grove Hill, Alabama Income tax evasion
ANDERSON, William Sterling Spartanburg, South Carolina Conspiracy to defraud a federally insured financial institution, false statements to a federally insured financial institution, wire fraud
AZIZKHANI, Mansour T. Huntsville, Alabama Conspiracy and making false statements in bank loan applications
BABIN, Cleveland Victor, Jr. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Conspiracy to commit offense against the United States by utilizing the U.S. mail in furtherance of a scheme to defraud
BAGLEY, Chris Harmon Harrah, Oklahoma Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine
BANE, Scott Lynn Mahomet, Illinois Unlawful distribution of marijuana
BARBER, Thomas Cleveland Hampton, Florida Issuing worthless checks
BARGON, Peggy Ann Monticello, Illinois Violation of the Lacey Act, violation of the Bald Eagle Protection Act
BHATKA, Tansukhlal Income tax evasion
BLAMPIED, David Roscoe Ketchum, Idaho Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
BORDERS, William Arthur, Jr. Washington, D.C. Conspiracy to corruptly solicit and accept money in return for influencing the official acts of a federal district court judge (Alcee L. Hastings), and to defraud the United States in connection with the performance of lawful government functions; corruptly influencing, obstructing, impeding and endeavoring to influence, obstruct and impede the due administration of justice, and aiding and abetting therein; traveling interstate with intent to commit bribery
BOREL, Arthur David Little Rock, Arkansas Odometer rollback
BOREL, Douglas Charles Conway, Arkansas Odometer rollback
BRABHAM, George Thomas Austin, Texas Making a false statement or report to a federally insured bank
BRASWELL, Almon Glenn Doravilla, Georgia Conspiracy to defraud government with respect to claims; perjury
BROWDER, Leonard Aiken, South Carolina Illegal dispensing of controlled substance and Medicaid fraud
BROWN, David Steven New York, New York Securities fraud and mail fraud
BURLESON, Delores Caroylene, aka Delores Cox Burleson Hanna, Oklahoma Possession of marijuana
BUSTAMANTE, John H. Cleveland, Ohio Wire fraud
CAMPBELL, Mary Louise Ruleville, Mississippi Aiding and abetting the unauthorized use and transfer of food stamps
CANDELARIA, Eloida False information in registering to vote
CAPILI, Dennis Sobrevinas Glendale, California Filing false statements in alien registration
CHAMBERS, Donna Denise Memphis, Tennessee Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute and to distribute cocaine, possession with intent to distribute cocaine, use of a telephone to facilitate cocaine conspiracy
CHAPMAN, Douglas Eugene Scott, Arkansas Bank fraud
CHAPMAN, Ronald Keith Scott, Arkansas Bank fraud
CHAVEZ, Francisco Larios Santa Ana, California Aiding and abetting illegal entry of aliens
CISNEROS, Henry G.
CLINTON, Roger
COHN, Stuart Harris New Haven, Connecticut 1. Illegal sale of gold options
2. Illegal sale of silver options
COOPER, David Marc Wapakoneta, Ohio Conspiracy to defraud the government
COX, Ernest Harley, Jr. Pine Bluff, Arkansas Conspiracy to defraud a federally insured savings and loan, misapplication of bank funds, false statements
CROSS, John F., Jr. Little Rock, Arkansas Embezzlement by a bank employee
CUNNINGHAM, Rickey Lee Amarillo, Texas Possession with intent to distribute marijuana
DE LABIO, Richard Anthony Baltimore, Maryland Mail fraud, aiding and abetting
DEUTCH, John Described in January 19, 2001 information
DOUGLAS, Richard False statements
DOWNE, Edward Reynolds Conspiracy to commit wire fraud and tax evasion; securities fraud
DUDLEY, Marvin Dean Omaha, Nebraska False statements
DUNCAN, Larry Lee Branson, Missouri Altering an automobile odometer
FAIN, Robert Clinton Aiding and assisting in the preparation of a false corporate tax return
FERNANDEZ, Marcos Arcenio Miami, Florida Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute marijuana
FERROUILLET, Alvarez Interstate transport of stolen property, money laundering, false statements
FUGAZY, William Denis Harrison, New York Perjury in a bankruptcy proceeding
GEORGE, Lloyd Reid Mail fraud
GOLDSTEIN, Louis Las Vegas, Nevada Possession of goods stolen from interstate shipment
GORDON, Rubye Lee Tampa, Florida Forgery of U.S. Treasury checks
GREEN, Pincus Switzerland
HAMNER, Robert Ivey Searcy, Arkansas Conspiracy to distribute marijuana, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute
HANDLEY, Samuel Price Hodgenville, Kentucky Conspiracy to steal government property
HANDLEY, Woodie Randolph Hodgenville, Kentucky Conspiracy to steal government property
HARMON, Jay Houston Jonesboro, Arkansas 1. Conspiracy to import marijuana, conspiracy to possess marijuana with intent to distribute, importation of marijuana, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute
2. Conspiracy to import cocaine
HEMMINGSON, John Interstate transport of stolen property, money laundering
HERDLINGER, David S. St. Simons Island, Georgia Mail fraud
HUCKLEBERRY, Debi Rae Ogden, Utah Distribution of methamphetamine
JAMES, Donald Ray Fairfield Bay, Arkansas Mail fraud, wire fraud, and false statement to a bank to influence credit approval
JOBE, Stanley Pruet El Paso, Texas Conspiracy to commit bank fraud, and bank fraud
JOHNSON, Ruben H. Austin, Texas Theft and misapplication of bank funds by a bank officer or director
JONES, Linda Conspiracy to commit bank fraud and other offenses against the United States
LAKE, James Howard Illegal corporate campaign contributions, wire fraud
LEWIS, June Louise Lowellville, Ohio Embezzlement by a bank employee
LEWIS, Salim Bonnor Short Hills, New Jersey Securities fraud, record keeping violations, margin violations
LODWICK, John Leighton Excelsior Springs, Missouri Income tax evasion
LOPEZ, Hildebrando San Isidro, Texas Distribution of cocaine
LUACES, Jose Julio Ft. Lauderdale, Florida Possession of an unregistered firearm
MANESS, James Timothy Conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance
MANNING, James Lowell Little Rock, Arkansas Aiding and assisting in the preparation of a false corporate tax return
MARTIN, John Robert Gulf Breeze, Florida Income tax evasion
MARTINEZ, Frank Ayala Elgin, Texas Conspiracy to supply false documents to the Immigration and Naturalization Service
MARTINEZ, Silvia Leticia Beltran Elgin, Texas Conspiracy to supply false documents to the Immigration and Naturalization Service
McCORMICK, John Francis Dedham, Massachusetts Racketeering conspiracy, racketeering, and violation of the Hobbs act
McDOUGAL, Susan H.
MECHANIC, Howard Lawrence 1. Violating the Civil Disobedience Act of 1968
2. Failure to appear
3. Making false statement in acquiring a passport
MITCHELL, Brook K., Sr. Conspiracy to illegally obtain USDA subsidy payments, false statements to USDA, and false entries on USDA forms
MORGAN, Charles Wilfred, III Little Rock, Arkansas Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
MORISON, Samuel Loring Crofton, Maryland Willful transmission of defense information, unauthorized possession and retention of defense information, theft of government property
NAZZARO, Richard Anthony Winchester, Massachusetts Perjury and conspiracy to commit mail fraud
NOSENKO, Charlene Ann Phoenix, Arizona Conspiracy to defraud the United States, and influencing or injuring an officer or juror generally
OBERMEIER, Vernon Raymond Belleville, Illinois Conspiracy to distribute cocaine, distribution of cocaine, and using a communications facility to facilitate distribution of cocaine
OGALDE, Miguelina Glendale, California Conspiracy to import cocaine
OWEN, David C. Olathe, Kansas Filing a false tax return
PALMER, Robert W. Little Rock, Arkansas Conspiracy to make false statements
PERHOSKY, Kelli Anne Bridgeville, Pennsylvania Conspiracy to commit mail fraud
PEZZOPANE, Richard H. Palo Heights, Illinois Conspiracy to commit racketeering, and mail fraud
PHILLIPS, Orville Rex Waco, Texas Unlawful structure of a financial transaction
POLING, Vinson Stewart, Jr. Baldwin, Maryland Making a false bank entry, and aiding and abetting
PROUSE, Norman Lyle Conyers, Georgia Operating or directing the operation of a common carrier while under the influence of alcohol
PRUITT, Willie H. H., Jr. Port Richey, Florida Absent without official leave
PURSLEY, Danny Martin, Sr. Goodlettsville, Tennessee Aiding and abetting the conduct of an illegal gambling business, and obstruction of state laws to facilitate illegal gambling
RAVENEL, Charles D. Charleston, South Carolina Conspiracy to defraud the United States
RAY, William Clyde Altus, Oklahoma Fraud using a telephone
REGALADO, Alfredo Luna Pharr, Texas Failure to report the transportation of currency in excess of $10,000 into the United States
RICAFORT, Ildefonso Reynes Houston, Texas Submission of false claims to Veterans Administration
RICH, Marc Switzerland
RIDDLE, Howard Winfield Mt. Crested Butte, Colorado Violation of the Lacey Act (receipt of illegally imported animal skins)
RILEY, Richard Wilson, Jr. Possession of cocaine with intent to distribute
ROBBINS, Samuel Lee Cedar Park, Texas Misprision of a felony
RODRIGUEZ, Joel Gonzales Houston, Texas Theft of mail by a postal employee
ROGERS, Michael James McAllen, Texas Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute marijuana
ROSS, Anna Louise Lubbock, Texas Distribution of cocaine
RUST, Gerald Glen Avery, Texas False declarations before grand jury
RUST, Jerri Ann Avery, Texas False declarations before grand jury
RUTHERFORD, Bettye June Albuquerque, New Mexico Possession of marijuana with intent to distribute
SANDS, Gregory Lee Sioux Falls, South Dakota Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
SCHWIMMER, Adolph Conspiracy to commit an offense against the United States, conspiracy to export arms and ammunition to a foreign country and related charges
SERETTI, Albert A., Jr. McKees Rocks, Pennyslvania Conspiracy and wire fraud
SHAW, Patricia Campbell Hearst Wilton, Connecticut Armed bank robbery and using a firearm during a felony
SMITH, Dennis Joseph Redby, Minnesota 1. Unauthorized absence
2. Failure to obey off-limits instructions
3. Unauthorized absence
SMITH, Gerald Owen Florence, Mississippi Armed bank robbery
SMITH, Stephen A.
SPEAKE, Jimmie Lee Breckenridge, Texas Conspiracy to possess and utter counterfeit $20 Federal Reserve notes
STEWART, Charles Bernard Sparta, Georgia Illegally destroying U.S. Mail
STEWART-ROLLINS, Marlena Francisca Euclid, Ohio Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
SYMINGTON, John Fife, III
TANNEHILL, Richard Lee Reno, Nevada Conspiracy and restraint of trade
TENAGLIA, Nicholas C. Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania Receipt of illegal payments under the Medicare program
THOMAS, Gary Allen Lancaster, Texas Theft of mail by postal employee
TODD, Larry Weldon Gardendale, Texas Conspiracy to commit an offense against the U.S. in violation of the Lacey Act and the Airborne Hunting Act
TREVINO, Olga C. Converse, Texas Misapplication by a bank employee
VAMVOUKLIS, Ignatious Exeter, New Hampshire Possession of cocaine
VAN DE WEERD, Patricia A. Tomahawk, Wisconsin Theft by a U.S. Postal employee
WADE, Christopher V.
WARMATH, Bill Wayne Walls, Mississippi Obstruction of correspondence
WATSON, Jack Kenneth Oakridge, Oregon Making false statements of material facts to the U.S. Forest Service
WEBB, Donna Lynn Panama City, Florida False entry in savings and loan record by employee
WELLS, Donald William Phenix City, Alabama Possession of an unregistered firearm
WENDT, Robert H. Kirkwood, Missouri Conspiracy to effectuate the escape of a federal prisoner
WILLIAMS, Jack L. Making false statements to federal agents
WILLIAMS, Kevin Arthur Omaha, Nebraska Conspiracy to distribute and possess with intent to distribute crack cocaine
WILLIAMS, Robert Michael Davison, Michigan Conspiracy to transport in foreign commerce securities obtained by fraud
WILSON, Jimmie Lee Helena, Arkansas Converting property mortgaged or pledged to a farm credit agency, and converting public money to personal use
WINGATE, Thelma Louise Sale City, Georgia Mail fraud
WOOD, Mitchell Couey Sherwood, Arkansas Conspiracy to possess and to distribute cocaine
WOOD, Warren Stannard Las Vegas, Nevada Conspiracy to defraud the United States by filing a false document with the Securities and Exchange Commission
WORTHEY, Dewey Conway, Arkansas Medicaid fraud
YALE, Rick Allen Belleville, Illinois Bank fraud
YASAK, Joseph A. Chicago, Illinois Knowingly making under oath a false declaration regarding a material fact before a grand jury
YINGLING, William Stanley Interstate transportation of stolen vehicle
YOUNG, Phillip David Little Rock, Arkansas Interstate transportation and sale of fish and wildlife

It's a Secret

It's marked "secret" so of course it's news:

A secret U.S. law enforcement report, prepared for the Department of Homeland Security, warns that al Qaeda is planning a terror "spectacular" this summer, according to a senior official with access to the document.

Glad to see the administration has gotten smart about this: If they gave a terror warning, they'd be accused of what Reverend Gore called, "playing on our fear!" But, if they mark it secret, and try to keep it quiet, the Big Media will kick out all the stops getting the story into circulation as soon as possible.

Bad Month for Salman

British author Salman Rushdie and his wife Padma Lakshmi, host of TV show "Top Chef," are getting divorced, his spokeswoman said on Monday, just two weeks after he was awarded a controversial knighthood.

Poor guy, first he gets moved to the top of the Insult to Islam list, then somehow his wife gets a functioning pair of eyeglasses. If I was him, every optometrist for a hundred miles would have been on my payroll.

Disenfranchised?

Tim Blair noted the silly NYT claim that this latest group of Jihadiots in Britain were motivated because they felt disenfranchised. I can see the NYT used-to-be opinion makers sitting around wondering why these people do this. And based on no evidence other than their own reasoning, they come up with "disenfranchised". That's why they're used-to-be opinion makers. We can reason these things out and make guesses on our own. Newspapers could supply facts, evidence, you know, news - but conclusions we can do without them.

The Daily Mail however has a used-to-be Jihadi who is willing to say why he and his friends wanted to do terror. Just a guess, but I'd think he would have more insight into the situation than a couple of white guys sitting on desks in New York:

When I was still a member of what is probably best termed the British Jihadi Network - a series of British Muslim terrorist groups linked by a single ideology - I remember how we used to laugh in celebration whenever people on TV proclaimed that the sole cause for Islamic acts of terror like 9/11, the Madrid bombings and 7/7 was Western foreign policy.

By blaming the Government for our actions, those who pushed this "Blair's bombs" line did our propaganda work for us.

Further down, the reasoning:

Formal Islamic theology, unlike Christian theology, does not allow for the separation of state and religion: they are considered to be one and the same.

For centuries, the reasoning of Islamic jurists has set down rules of interaction between Dar ul-Islam (the Land of Islam) and Dar ul-Kufr (the Land of Unbelief) to cover almost every matter of trade, peace and war.

But what radicals and extremists do is to take this two steps further. Their first step has been to argue that, since there is no pure Islamic state, the whole world must be Dar ul-Kufr (The Land of Unbelief).

Step two: since Islam must declare war on unbelief, they have declared war upon the whole world.

Along with many of my former peers, I was taught by Pakistani and British radical preachers that this reclassification of the globe as a Land of War (Dar ul-Harb) allows any Muslim to destroy the sanctity of the five rights that every human is granted under Islam: life, wealth, land, mind and belief.

In Dar ul-Harb, anything goes, including the treachery and cowardice of attacking civilians.

This is what I don't want their motivation to be. Because this is a position us infidels can't talk them out of. We can't make their lives better except by allowing them to defeat us. I would much rather believe that a job at Microsoft and a Segway would seduce these idiots away from their insane philosophy. (and it is a philosophy, not a religion; it's a hunt for utopia) It looks like destroying them is the only solution.

Read the whole thing and decide for yourself.

Arrests Made

Happy Canada Day

Happy Canada to the folks up North. Being of the more Southern coterie myself, I'm not sure how one goes about celebrating Canada Day. I suspect relations with moose are involved, but we have no moose here. Anyway, we're with you in spirit, Canada.

Glasgow

Found this on LGF, the long version of an eyewitness account of the Jihadi car sacrifice in Glasgow:

My favorite part: Pepper spray for the flaming idiot. If there are restrictions regarding the use of pepper spray on burning suspects, I'm glad they were disregarded.

Only bad bit was that some of the spray blew back and got the cop as well. But I applaud his instincts.