Tuesday, September 09, 2008


See? This is why there's been a standing order to check Keith Olbermann for weapons every single time he comes into the studio. Demote him, throw in a guard who was distracted by a phone call, and countless make-up artists and cameramen pay the price.

OK, not really. It's a festival in which culturally superior Europeans put on what amounts to a huge wet t-shirt contest with V-8 Juice. Called, predictably, Tomatina.

Think, hey, we could do something like that? Nope. If we did it, it would be a decadent waste of food. "The cowboy Americans throw away food that could save starving children," something like that. That's why we have belt sander races. Nobody's going to care if we recklessly destroy a Craftsman 11727. And most of us don't have to shower afterwards.