(no, I'm not talking about those novelty chickens with one leg shorter than the other)
One good thing that is coming from this new PETA campaign is a heightened awareness of just how bad things are for chickens. Did you know that some chickens were kept in cages? Yeah, me either.
So anyway, I'm thinking that with this groundswell of guilt, some readers may be interested in assuaging their guilt by buying "chicken offsets". See, how it will work is: first, you cut back on your chicken consumption, or, if you're really wealthy, you keep on eating as much as you want, then, on days that you do eat chicken, you buy "offset coupons" from me and I'll use the money to buy chicken-free dinners. Or chicken-free groceries, or some other chicken-friendly commodity. Like iTunes: I'm pretty sure Steve Jobs doesn't harm chickens by selling songs on iTunes. Not anymore anyway.
So think about it. If you feel guilty enough, maybe we can do business. One thing though: I won't be answering questions about my own chicken consumption. I'm not letting the issue get sidetracked that easily.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Chicken Offsets
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6 comments:
I'd like to see you put into one of those torture chambers. Chickens aren' half as dumb as some people.
OK, so that's probably a vote against chicken offset coupons then.
How bout if we made it more fun? Called them Chicken Offset Buc-buc-buc-bucks?
Maybe a little humor will help:
We went to a new chicken place. We asked them how they prepare their chickens.
The waitress said, "We just tell them they're going to die."
and...
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. If they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans!
Papa Ray
West Texas
USA
I know a cat who runs a chicken hatchery in Iowa. He could clean up on this, contracting to hatch an egg to offset an eaten chicken. For a little extra, he could let your offset chickens out of their cages to run loose part of the time.
Hey, don't forget March 15 is EATAPETA DAy!
Eat A Tasty Animal for PETA.
That's my daughter's birthday. A double celebration!
Actually, this wasn't a post about chickens, it was a post about about "offsets" - Which are a shell game, especially if you buy them from yourself - "See? I took the money from this pocket and put it in this one..."
I don't condone the mistreatment of chickens, or any animal for that matter. Well, except otters. Man, I really hate otters. Really.
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