Sunday, April 01, 2007

Now You've Done It

Damn you John Travolta. You've gone and killed the last polar bear.

April Fools! There's still one or two left. In fact, the latest AP slant is "The northern people who have hunted these majestic marine mammals for thousands of years say they haven't seen a dramatic decline yet in their numbers. But scientists worry..." They haven't noticed a dramatic decline. Or a comedic decline. Or any decline at all. But darnit, swimming polar bears is just too poignant an image to give up. We'll have to pretend they're endangered anyway.

So, it's tough doing april-fools when there are so many people doing it as a way of life now. The constant push-push-push from AP now includes one set of "scientists" saying that GW drying is killing toads with fungus, while another group is saying that GW wettening will bring dengue fever because increased (2mm more per decade) rainfall will bring more mosquitos. So the punch line is that whatever happens, rain, or drought, or northerly, or southerly, migrating polar bears, Sanjaya Malakar winning American Idol, or Madonna moving to the Holy Land, it's all going to be blamed on Global Warming. And that bastige from Texas. Ah, well.

In the meantime, it's fun to point out that the GW clergy don't even come close to practicing what they preach.

sniffle, John, and we liked Welcome Back, Kotter so much


George said...

If you ever met a polar bear you already have a good idea why they are not endangered. They don't take prisoners; they eat them. If it walksc swims, crawls, or flies it's on the menu. All of it.