Friday, October 27, 2006

Liberal Ha-Ha

James Taranto points to a (inadvertently) funny bit of liberal logic from Slate:

It's a classic trap, right out of the right-wing playbook.

Ever since the resignation of Richard Nixon, a very smart man who got caught abusing his executive power, the GOP has deliberately avoided nominating conspicuously intelligent people for president. Gerald Ford was smarter than he looked, but he was unable to dispel his buffoonish image. Ronald Reagan was famously checked out and ill-informed. George H.W. Bush, though clearly smarter than Dubya, is not exactly imposing in the brains department, and he's demonstrated almost as much difficulty as his son in formulating a coherent sentence. And George W. Bush? Let's just say the guy is either mentally lazy, not very bright, or some combination of these two. I've never felt it necessary to refine that diagnosis; the term I favor is "functionally dumb."

Two things must be said about my assertions in the previous paragraph. One is that they are all unmistakably true. The other is that whenever a liberal repeats any one of them out loud, that liberal--and contemporary liberalism generally--come under attack.......
A classic trap? Don't fall for it, or for the second, only slightly less well known, which is this: never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha

But there are three things that must be said about the previous, previous, previous paragraph, 1.) they're all unmistakably true, must be, really, no, they are! I'm seriously, 2.) liberals will come under attack if they repeat them out loud, and it's just not fair, because they're the smart ones, just ask them, they called it, and c.) these facts can all be proved using the same logic they used to prove that the guys in the Chess Club were smarter than the guys in Band.

Oh, and 4.) if you disagree, you probably also think Scotty could take Spock in unarmed combat. I'm seriously.


Party_of_Odd said...

I love it! "the GOP has deliberately avoided nominating conspicuously intelligent people for president." That's Genius! Obviously, GWBush is so inconspicuously intelligent that many left-wing bloggers call him "Chimpy," yet he's credited with being able to destroy the World Trade Center and blame it on an Islamic terrorist organization! And, by falling for the MOST FAMOUS of all Classis Blunders--he got involved in a land war in Asia!--he has demonstrated his skill at keeping his genius inconspicuous.

Now, I'm waiting for the post election-day news commentary...

Alan Colmes: The Republicans retained control of Congress? INCONCEIVABLE!
Sean Hannity: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...

lumberjack said...

GWB: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
GWB: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
GWB: Morons.