What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Via wet-dry, a story of romance gone wrong, titled Man acquitted in romantic bear-spray squabble:

A San Francisco man was acquitted Thursday of breaking into his ex-fiancée’s house and assaulting her new lover before getting sprayed with bear mace by a shirtless neighbor.

Jurors deliberated for just three hours before finding Christoper Hall, 31, innocent of the two felonies.

The “chaotic and confusing” night began on March 25 when Hall broke off his plans to marry his 34-year-old fiancée, said Deputy Public Defender Phoenix Streets.

The two had met in a hacky-sack circle in early February and announced plans to marry just two weeks later, Streets said. But the relationship quickly turned tumultuous, Streets said, and the pair broke up on March 25.

Hall took his few possessions and moved out of his fiancée’s home and into a tree at Mclaren Park. But as Hall climbed the tree and attempted to sleep that first night, he became cold and returned home, Streets said.

Hall’s former lover was not there, so Hall “curled up under a tarp under the woman’s backyard bushes,” Streets said....

 I'm no relationship expert but when you meet in a hacky-sack circle, and moving back to your old place involves climbing a tree, can bear mace be far behind?

We Can Do It

Wait for It...

If he doesn't want me to Photoshop him, he 

should keep his images off my desktop.

Royal Swap

This is one that could go on for ever. Photoshop out the Royal Baby and replace him with whatever comes to mind:

h/t: Lumberbrudi

Whether I'm Right, or Whether I'm Wrong...

Two photoshops.

I found the first one on a Russian Live Journal page. (a wish-I'd-done-it for sure)  This one was mine though:

As I was working on it I was imagining a press conference in which Weiner and Huma are taking turns speaking. And every time Huma is looking elsewhere, Weiner opens his trench coat and flashes the crowd. She almost catches him a few times but every time she turns towards him, Weiner  snaps the trench coat closed. I titled it I Gotta be Me. And if I had the time, I'd go to Wikipedia and assert that this was a press conference that really happened.  

Monument Defaced

We will get to the bottom of this.

Deciphering the Justice Department

Saw this:

HOLDER: We won't torture or kill Snowden...

thought:

Oh man, they're going to torture and kill him.

President Asterisk

Like Barry Bonds, Obama's second term should come with an asterisk. Won, but with help from the IRS.

(think James Taranto came up with the asterisk; that's where I first heard it anyway)

Pivot to Jobs

Obama, pivots 360* again. And people are noticing:

 There’s already been a fair amount of mockery on the Twitters and elsewhere of this new push, to the effect that isn’t it just hilarious that Obama is pivoting to jobs yet again.

Me, I'm starting to view the excessive pivoting like these guys:



* yes, 360 degrees ends you right back where you were to begin with

Inflatable Drill Instructor

I was looking over the latest batch of government solicitations when I came across this. No, I'm not going to call it government waste; I can see a use for these. What struck me about the concept of an inflatable DI is how much cooler it would be if you could make the arms wavy, like the Flailing Tube Men you see in front of tire shops and fireworks stands.

They could station him at the last mile on those training runs for that added bit of motivation. Call it the new, fun, USMC.  Heck, I'd enlist. You know, or maybe not.

Bashing Bashir

Martin Bashir argued that the British people are excited over the birth of the royal baby because they need a morale boost to overcome the economic woes wrought by conservative fiscal policy. Then he uses his whine voice to claim that it's GOP policies in action...

OK, well the guy can stretch. But, I thought, the guy is British, doesn't he remember the birth of Harry and William?  Sure, it was the 80's so Bashir could have been stoned or imprisoned for taking liberties with farm animals, but he should be aware that all Royal births are surrounded by this sort of celebration.

Anyway, whatever. The good news is that I came across this image while looking for photographic proof that Bashir is an ignorant scold:

Is that cool or what? It's Princess Elizabeth in the WWII. I hadn't realized that she had served. You learn something new every day. (provided you don't rely on MSNBC)

Yay! It's a King

So congrats to the little fella who's been born across the pond. My you live a thousand years.

May your enemies' blood gush forth from wounded necks. May there never be a line for the motorcycle ride at Chuck E Cheese.

(so strange - when I posted the above as one paragraph, "May your"  kept publishing as "My your".  I had to make it two paragraphs in order to see the missing "a")

Faded Hope

Hat-tip Mark Steyn at NRO who observed that:

...the “First Family” (a concept unknown to the Constitution) now costs taxpayers more per annum than all European royal families combined. The whole lot could comfortably fit in the 40-car motorcade accompanying the Obamas to Martha’s Vineyard — which I trust will be renamed Trayvon’s Vineyard for the duration.

Expect no comment or concern from the King or his toadies, of course. It's hardly news that the .1 percenter president does what he wants, but what caught my eye was "wearing a faded Hope shirt". Faded hope, yeah, that's about it.

Now I'm on the lookout for "unwelcome Change" t-shirts.

Then and Now

Har:

Bye Snuffy

tks - lumberbrudi

Salty News

Dr. Sean C. Lucan of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in this month’s American Journal of Public Health:

“There is a relationship between sodium and blood pressure, but it’s not consistent. And even when it’s present, it isn’t clinically very substantial,” he said.

For some high-risk heart patients, some studies show, a low-salt diet “actually leads to worse cardiovascular disease and early death,” Lucan said.

Lowering salt, Lucan notes in his article, “may also decrease insulin sensitivity, alter lipids, and stimulate a variety of neurohormonal pathways detrimental to the cardiovascular system.”

It's good to see the salt-nazis facing push-back. Salt is good. 

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

In Russia the Boat Sinks You

Dammit Vladimir, not again!

(clickabiggen)

Best Friends

Too cute to wait for the next Cute Post:

Some childhood playmates turn out to be friends for life. For others, there comes a time when they simply outgrow each other.

For most of their six years on the planet, Emily Bland and Rishi the orangutan have been an unlikely double act – enjoying picnics, games and the occasional rough and tumble.

But now, they are being forced to, well, grow apart, because Rishi’s keepers think he will soon be too big and powerful to play with his human friend.

I'll bet they remain friends even when their meetings become less free. I can understand why it has to be this way though; a full grown orangutan could lift Michael Moore off the ground and dance a Greek Loulouvikos.

 

If You Like the Plans You Have Now...

If you like the health plans you have now, you can keep them. (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha) So now even the Teamsters see the truth:

 Dear Leader Reid and Leader Pelosi:
When you and the President sought our support for the Affordable Care Act (ACA), you pledged that if we liked the health plans we have now, we could keep them. Sadly, that promise is under threat. Right now, unless you and the Obama Administration enact an equitable fix, the ACA will shatter not only our hard-earned health benefits, but destroy the foundation of the 40 hour work week that is the backbone of the American middle class.

Like millions of other Americans, our members are front-line workers in the American economy. We have been strong supporters of the notion that all Americans should have access to quality, affordable health care. We have also been strong supporters of you. In campaign after campaign we have put boots on the ground, gone door-to-door to get out the vote, run phone banks and raised money to secure this vision.

Now this vision has come back to haunt us.

Since the ACA was enacted, we have been bringing our deep concerns to the Administration, seeking reasonable regulatory interpretations to the statute that would help prevent the destruction of non-profit health plans. As you both know first-hand, our persuasive arguments have been disregarded and met with a stone wall by the White House and the pertinent agencies. This is especially stinging because other stakeholders have repeatedly received successful interpretations for their respective grievances. Most disconcerting of course is last week’s huge accommodation for the employer community—extending the statutorily mandated “December 31, 2013” deadline for the employer mandate and penalties.

Time is running out: Congress wrote this law; we voted for you. We have a problem; you need to fix it. The unintended consequences of the ACA are severe. Perverse incentives are already creating nightmare scenarios:

First, the law creates an incentive for employers to keep employees’ work hours below 30 hours a week. Numerous employers have begun to cut workers’ hours to avoid this obligation, and many of them are doing so openly. The impact is two-fold: fewer hours means less pay while also losing our current health benefits.

Second, millions of Americans are covered by non-profit health insurance plans like the ones in which most of our members participate. These non-profit plans are governed jointly by unions and companies under the Taft-Hartley Act. Our health plans have been built over decades by working men and women. Under the ACA as interpreted by the Administration, our employees will treated differently and not be eligible for subsidies afforded other citizens. As such, many employees will be relegated to second-class status and shut out of the help the law offers to for-profit insurance plans.

And finally, even though non-profit plans like ours won’t receive the same subsidies as for-profit plans, they’ll be taxed to pay for those subsidies. Taken together, these restrictions will make non-profit plans like ours unsustainable, and will undermine the health-care market of viable alternatives to the big health insurance companies.

On behalf of the millions of working men and women we represent and the families they support, we can no longer stand silent in the face of elements of the Affordable Care Act that will destroy the very health and wellbeing of our members along with millions of other hardworking Americans.

We believe that there are common-sense corrections that can be made within the existing statute that will allow our members to continue to keep their current health plans and benefits just as you and the President pledged. Unless changes are made, however, that promise is hollow.

We continue to stand behind real health care reform, but the law as it stands will hurt millions of Americans including the members of our respective unions.

We are looking to you to make sure these changes are made.
James P. Hoffa
General President
International Brotherhood of Teamsters

Joseph Hansen
International President
UFCW

D. Taylor
President
UNITE-HERE

The bad news is that if special deals and exemptions can be made to placate the unions, they will be made. Most of the country will suffer, but the unions will go back to vocal support.

Filter Bubbles

Something to think about. When a search engine only returns the results it thinks I want to read, it's not doing me a favor. It's often advantageous to hear the other side's arguments.

I know, we all think we hold the right opinions; because we've studied the issues, and listened to both sides, and evaluated with our flawless and amazing brains.  But what if we're missing data?

One thing I'm wondering about: Are there people out there who still don't know that the earth's average temperature hasn't gone up in the last 15-17 years, because their search engines only return "green" viewpoints when they search AGW?

Bill Maher and His Dog

Bill Maher (left)

photo via

Shrewnami

Now that you know about Sharknados, it's time to learn about Shrewnamis. 

They are just as dangerous as Sharknados. Fortunately, the survival techniques 

are the same for both these global warming caused weather events.

(clickabiggen)

Treehouse Rules

Our cousins took their Neighborhood Adventurer rules seriously.

Remember the Promise

Mandate delayed for a year because they don't want their Rube Goldberg device to unravel like some sort of thing that unravels easily and causes everyone to lose their jobs and keeps unraveling right in front of an election.

Remember this?



Fundamentally Transform, as in: The accident fundamentally transformed the hood of my Ford.

Dash-Cam Different

Here's something a little different. It's one of those Soviet Dash-cam compilations, only there are no crashes, near misses, or bears riding on the hood. It's just people being nice to their fellow drivers. Watch what you can of it, but it's ok to skip around a bit. If you want to know how it ends: the stalled automobile gets push-started and someone grabs the driver's coffee from the roof of the car and hands him a puppy and a warm blanket; then a baby laughs, a wrinkled old man smiles, and a butterfly lands on his head.

Protest in Texas

One thing I'll always miss about Texas is the Keep Away rallies.

"Keep your pickup off of my porch."

Cute like a Fox

Biggest Brother

Updated the original cartoon.