Wednesday, November 30, 2011

What Does That Even Mean?


Following the contemptible storming of the British Embassy in Iran by violent protesters, President Obama rightly condemned the Iranian government for not controlling the protesters and protecting a diplomatic outpost. In doing so, however, he made yet another embarrassing foreign policy gaffe: referring to the embassy as "English" instead of "British."

Reached for comment the president said, "Maybe saying 'English'
was technically incorrect, but keep in mind that they have a
different kind of set-up than we do here. And how many Britishmen
can name all 57 states? See what I mean? Apples and Oranges."

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ginger White Correction

"Yes, I did claim to have had a thirteen-year affair with
Herman Cain, but that was based on old polling data. I
now realize the affair was with Newt Gingrich."

Cute Enough

This little fellow looks so benign, cuddly, and Sancho Panza round. It's hard to remember that these guys are predators, and can eat small pets.

Intruder Alert!

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- Colorado Springs police say a man's girlfriend unexpectedly came home just before another woman was due to visit, so he called police to report his new acquaintance as a burglar.

The Gazette reports that 24-year-old Kevin Gaylor was cited with a misdemeanor of false reporting to authorities.

Police say Gaylor had invited a woman he met online to come to his home after 3 a.m. Wednesday so they could get better acquainted, but his girlfriend came home first.

Police say that when the other woman arrived, Gaylor called police and falsely reported an intrusion.

Can you imagine the poor woman who got reported? She met the guy online but she's willing to go to his place at 3:00 AM. Then the flashlights come on and she's surrounded by cops.

What was the guy thinking? That she'd go quietly and he'd explain it to her later? Was he hoping she'd get gunned down? Still, it does show creativity.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Paint Wars


The Excitement Begins

Dog and a Half

I give you the Basset Hound. The bonus dog; each one coming with at least a dog and a half's worth of skin. The Basset Hound was bred to have enormous flaps of skin, in which members of the French aristocracy would warm their feet on cold winter's nights. Eww, you say? Who wants to slide their feet under a Basset Hound's ear? I said they were French, didn't I?

many more at the link, h/t: N.O'Really

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Why He Ran for President

I've been to the dentist and am miserable enough to not want to look it up; so I'll paraphrase what Obama said: It's people like you that made me want to run for president in the first place.

No. It was huge ambition and a jumbo-sized ego that made him want to run. But identifying with the OWS idiots, and exploiting the OWS defect in character is how he got it done. It's also his main defect and why he's such a disaster for the economy.

If I can live in a nice house, eat good food, drive a reasonable car, get good medical care, have nice things, and pay a licensed dentist to torture me, it matters not one little bit that some guy across town has it twice as good. Or ten times as good. Or ten thousand times as good. And any energy wasted on envy is stupid. Not just that, it's detrimental to my happiness.

Sure if some people get rich by breaking the rules, punish them. Stop them. But most rich people got that way through hard work. People like Obama and the OWS idiots need to drop the envy-toy and pick up the imitate-tool. They've got it better than 90% of the world already. And they have the power to be even more prosperous, through hard work. Not through punishing those who have worked hard.

photo via

Leaf War


Monday, November 21, 2011

Donald Trump

Trump says he's thinking about running for president. Easy for him; he's got enough money to survive another 4 years of Obama.

Make no mistake - any third-party "conservatives" are really Obama boosters. If Trump gets into this as an independent, he should be beaten senseless with Ross Perot's shin bone.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Lazy Beyond Belief

Have you seen these on TV? Forever Lazy for those days when you just don't care anymore.

Sure, the ad shows well groomed 30-somethings socializing at the tailgate party. "Here Jim, have another burger. When the games over you've gotta go home and work on that report for Monday."

But face it. These things are aimed at the guy who's ok with drinking heavily and not even going out to get the mail. Someone who's good with sitting on the couch and eating potato chips all weekend. And they have bathroom flaps so you don't ever have to take them off! Screw the leaves. Forget changing the oil or cleaning the gutters! I'm in my Forever Lazies, leave me alone.

It's only a matter of time before you see a Cops episode with an I-know-my-rights guy in Forever Lazies getting chased down by the K-9 dog.

At least that's how I envision this fine product being used. I've ordered three pair, because Dr Pepper has a way of getting spilled and I won't go near the washing machine when I'm in my Lazies.

That's What You Get for Showing Up Late

I heard there'd be girls. Where are the girls?

And the Band Played On

Friday, November 18, 2011

Illegal Water Claims

Justin Credible, the AWL reader, not the French actor, (which is spelled with an "e") sent along this link:

Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.

EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact.

Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.

Last night, critics claimed the EU was at odds with both science and common sense. Conservative MEP Roger Helmer said: “This is stupidity writ large.

“The euro is burning, the EU is falling apart and yet here they are: highly-paid, highly-pensioned officials worrying about the obvious qualities of water and trying to deny us the right to say what is patently true.

Sure, it sounds like an Onion piece doesn't it? But it's predictable as the EU moves further in its evolution into an administrative State.

So now I'll segue into Administrative States. That's "segue" as in Italian "it follows" not like the French bicycle, which has more "e"s.

Watch this week's Uncommon Knowledge to have Paul Rahe explain how our once great(est) republic is slipping towards becoming just another administrative state. The guy is great.

Think we'll never have administrators dictating what we can write on water bottles? We already have them dictating the size of our toilet tanks, what kind of light bulbs we can buy, and when a professor can and cannot change his mind about the books he'll use in the next semester... yeah really. Listen to, or watch the series, all will become clear. Go up to the "UK" link to access parts 2-5.

As the French actor, Justine Crediblé, said, "I felt as though a veil was lifted from my smug French face."

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Marching for What?

As the lumberwife zoomed out the door on her way to work she told me to check the traffic report. I had an appointment in Georgetown at 2:00 but it seems that yahoos will be marching through the streets, and up to the Key bridge, by the time I get out. So I changed the appointment.

The traffic report interviewed the people's representative in charge of marches, magic markers, and sleeping bags, and he assured everyone that their intent wasn't to disrupt traffic. But he also claimed that this was a march to protest the state of our infrastructure, with an emphasis on our nation's bridges. It's a what? Infrastructure? Did these guys finally find their raison d'ĂȘtre? And it's bridges?

I'm sorry but I can't believe the news guys found the right spokesman. First, we shovel-readied all the bridges with the first trillion dollar stimulus. Second, marchers always tie up traffic in DC. Especially when they say they're going to march to a bridge. Bridges are "choke points," which is my term for an area where it's ok go get out of the car and choke the people who are stopping traffic.

I pity the people who may end up with a three hour trip home this evening. But maybe the rain and wind will make for a light turn-out. Me, I've been there before and I'm not taking the chance. Bridges. Sheesh.

Give til it Hurts

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the beltway. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Moore's Law and Solar

There's a good article at Scientific American on the huge potential of solar energy. Roughly: there's a bazillion gagillian mega googily joules of solar energy on every square inch of the planet's surface. And if we could just cover the surface of Michael Moore's right butt cheek with 100% efficient solar cells, we could power the United States for a billion years.

Actually, it's an upbeat article, and I agree with most of it. There is a ton of free energy out there. And solar cells are steadily getting cheaper. There's every reason to expect great things from solar energy. It could even become a good energy deal in the next 10 - 20 years; cheaper than coal or natural gas.

And Moore's Law might apply to solar panels, at least for the foreseeable future. But here's the thing about Moore's law - as long as the chip makers kept working on the next generation of chip, constantly improving the science of chip making, it didn't matter what was done with each successive generation. They could have shelved the 486 processor and the first Pentium would have still been created, then the Pentium II etc.

They did use the technology as it became available because it was making money to fuel research and build companies. But what if it didn't? What if you lost money selling computers; would it make any sense to flood the market with subsidized computers that nobody wanted? That's what the Obama administration is doing with solar projects.

I'm all for research. Research is what gets more transistors into our ever improving computers and it's what makes solar cells cheaper every day. So use tax money for research. Don't give $1.4 billion to RFK Jr. so he can buy up a billion 512k memory cards. Give it to researchers so they can someday sell us 64GB cards at the same price.

Average Dog

Just the average dog, being awesome when called upon.

Personally, I've never asked my dogs to surf, but I'm pretty sure they'd rise to the occasion if I did. They can already jump up on the couch. And what's the difference between a surfboard and a couch? Just dimensions.

Crooks Being Crooks

No wonder the Obama's gave out vegetables for Halloween; Obama has been Mr Candyman to all his crony crooks since his first day in office. The problem is that it's our money he's giving away:

President John F. Kennedy’s nephew, Robert Kennedy, Jr., netted a $1.4 billion bailout for his company, BrightSource, through a loan guarantee issued by a former employee-turned Department of Energy official...

...The details of how BrightSource managed to land its ten-figure taxpayer bailout have yet to emerge fully. However, one clue might be found in the person of Sanjay Wagle.

Wagle was one of the principals in Kennedy’s firm who raised money for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign. When Obama won the White House, Wagle was installed at the Department of Energy (DOE), advising on energy grants.

Odd thing, I'm more disgusted than angry. Why aren't the OWS crappers befouling RFK Jr's lawn?

Case Closed

Ever seen a cat let a child paint its nails?

I didn't think so.

On Being "a Little Lazy"

Krauthammer on President’s Obama’s recent remark that the United States has been “a little lazy” in attracting foreign investment:

No one is asking him to go out there and be a jingoistic cheerleader. But when you call your own country lazy when you are abroad and call it unambitious and soft when you are home, I think what you are showing is not tough love but ill-concealed contempt. Obama is ready to blame everybody except himself for the lousy economy and the lack of investment.

Why are people reluctant to invest? We have the highest corporate tax rate in the industrialized world. Obama has spoken about it. It’s the one issue on which the Republicans would have agreed on lowering that rate, eliminating the loopholes. In three years in office he has done nothing.

He has an NLRB trying to shut down a billion dollar plant that Boeing is constructing, as a favor to Obama union allies. People look abroad and say this isn’t a place where I want to do business. It’s his issues, his overregulation, his over-taxation and all the red tape he has added. And now he blames Americans’ laziness. I think it’s unseemly.

How Cool is That?

Lumberkid just heard Clarence Thomas speak. Not just speak, I guess, "Hold the door for me kid," is speaking. But she heard him speechify, lecture, pontificate.

Way cool. Makes a guy want to post bunny pictures. I think I will.

Monday, November 14, 2011

One More Time


Is this the era of cat? I dunno, could be. There's the success of I can haz Cheeseburger. I've heard that in Europe all high-end china teacups are sold with tiny kittens inside. I can no longer post cute puppies without an equal number of kitties, lest I hear from Gino's legal team. And I get the distinct feeling that cats make up the majority of Obama's economic advisers. So yeah, this could the time of cats.

But dogs are just a cute and are willing to keep the kitchen floor clean as well. I can drop anything in the kitchen and there's a dog ready to catch it before it hits the ground. Carrots, green beans, coconuts, coffee filters, they don't care, "here dad, I'll get that for you." Try that with a cat.

h/t, or rather c/t:lumberbrudi

Friday, November 11, 2011

Happy Veterans Day

I hope all of our nation's veterans are having a good day today.

For your photoshopping appetizer today we have two images, both, strangely titled: Please Put a Worm In My Mouth.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Lazy Teddy Bear Makers

Stuffed life-sized teddy bears representing some
of the leaders expected during the Asia-Pacific
Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit are
pictured at Teddy Bear World in Honolulu, Hawaii

See what they did there? They used the regular teddy bear ears on Obama. Us staunch Obama supporters are outraged, a little.

Oh Well This is Just Nuts

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Unsafe Occupy

Apparently they found another occupy protester dead in a tent. They don't know the cause yet, but CO poisoning is going to become a definite possibility as the weather cools. Someone needs to get the word out to these guys about not having anything burning in their tents. Not charcoal, not oil heaters, not campfires. Any incomplete combustion in a space that confined is just an invitation for carbon monoxide poisoning. Then you're dead and you stink up the park.

Most of them will grow out of being idiots if given time. So, we need to keep them alive long enough to grow up.

Good Save

The trick is, anytime you've screamed or whimpered, you keep going on in the same voice. As in "oh that; that wasn't a girlish squeal of fear, no, that's just the comic voice I'm doing in reaction to this exciting event."

Tuesday, November 08, 2011


Who They Are

Big banks can be abusive, witness: me getting quoted $5.00 per page for copies of past checking statements. So I'm a little irritated that the crazies have touched on one legitimate gripe. But it's my gripe, leave it alone.

Like a stopped clock, they just happened upon one legitimate thing, but the occupiers are still not the 99%. In this story the 99%ers are the vendors; trying to get by, working for themselves:

Coffee cart owner Linda Jenson and hot dog cart operators Letty and Pete Soto said they initially provided free food and drink to demonstrators, but when they stopped, the protesters became violent.

And according to one city councilman, bodily fluids were used in the attacks.

“Both carts have had items stolen, have had their covers vandalized with markings and graffiti, as well as one of the carts had urine and blood splattered on it,” said Councilman Carl DeMaio.

The damages will likely require at least a complete cleaning if not a replacement of the cart covers, DeMaio said.

In addition to the attacks, the vendors also said they recently received death threats.

"All we ask is for a world where we can camp out and somebody else feeds us, and carries off our waste, and donates great camping gear and free clothes. And where we can plug in our cell phone chargers and computers and find free WiFi and post about the terrible injustices of others. Is that too much to ask? Is it?!"

Well, yes.

These guys will go home when camping gets old, or everyone stops feeding them.

Wow Pictures

Here, and be sure to check out the videos at the bottom of the page. This is what God gave you eyes for. (well, this and Taylor Swift)

h/t: Lumberbrudi

Monday, November 07, 2011

It's Getting Real on the Cain Campaign Trail

It seems another woman has come forward to accuse
Herman Cain of inappropriate behavior. In Chicago,
a Ms. M.O. (whose face has been obscured because
she's not very pretty) reports that Mr Cain "looked me
up and down like a dog sizing up a pork chop."

"Obviously at a time when we need a president who is supercool, we can't afford to gamble on a man who portrays typical male behavior."


"I want to thank everyone as much as I possibly do."

Moustache har

also from presurfer

A Murmuration of Starlings

I've seen this twice. Once, in Sitges Spain, before it was gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. And once on the Eastern Shore, not that there's anything wrong with that.

In Sitges the streets are very narrow and most buildings are several stories high, thus giving the birds many Kamikaze possibilities. They would zoom around corners and seemingly decide on the next direction on the fly (har) at the last possible moment. I'll never know why the ground wasn't littered with bodies like lobster shells around the Obama's dinner table.

The second time I saw this phenomenon was on Maryland's Eastern Shore with the lumberwife. The suckers had the entire sky to play in but one of their favorite lanes was right across the smallish back road we were traveling. Which was good because it gave us an excuse to sit and watch them for a quarter hour or so. As I said, this was the Eastern Shore so it was impossible to get out of the car without being carried off by mosquitoes. Still, it was a great show.

The music here is Pachelbel's Canon in D, which ok, so there's that, but I muted it because I was already listening to Bruckner which also worked well. Listen to my Pachelbel link if you're interested. If you're not interested, listen twice, and thank lumberkid, who I look to for musical inspiration.

h/t: presurfer (not that there's ... you know)

Ah, Of Course

I saw this one last week and treated it as a brain-taunter. But today, seeing it through Derb's link I realized some people are answering it. Sooo..

And what if there were more answers available?

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Dog for Sale!

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard'

The Fifth Beatle

The man's phenomenal: Nobel Peace Prize, an pretend Oscar, an invisible Grammy, a list of accomplishments as long as a list, of course he's the imaginary fifth Beatle.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Attacking Herman Cain

What news channel isn't running a Herman Cain attack story at the moment? One Newsbusters count says 63 stories in four days, but I suspect they're missing some.

Does this "story" deserve such attention; considering that we don't even have accusations beyond the possibility of Cain having once said "Darling, do you mind doctoring my tea for me?" (concerning the addition of lemon and honey)

Could it be that high-tech lynching is justified if your target is a black man? Does his race make it just a little bit easier for liberals to assume he's guilty? Haven't the Democrats moved on from Bull Connor yet?

Come back when you have some real evidence, MSM. Even if it's lies.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Looking Down on You

Chen Guangcheng RIP

Sadly, it looks as if the Chinese government has finally killed him.

How Strange

This must be what happens when you've upset the Democrat bosses. 60 Minutes never goes after Democrats.

No telling why they decided to go after her now. She's been a 1% grafting crook lawmaker for years and years. If there was a serious Occupy Wall Street movement, corrupt politicians like Nancy Pelosi would be their target.

I know this clip is everywhere. I'm putting it up because if you're like me, you'll want to listen to it again and again.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

And We Mean It This Time

found - possibly here

Right Off The Cliff

Why Is This Cargo Container Emitting So Much Radiation?

To find out why the comment is ridiculous, you have to read the story.

Well, no, I suppose you could grade this comment with your eyes closed. But it's a good read anyway. Here, I'll get it started:

Enzo Montagna pulled his Fiat station wagon into Voltri Terminal Europa, a sprawling port on the western edge of Genoa, on Italy’s Ligurian coast, and flashed his ID at the guard at the terminal’s gate. As he did every time he came to the port, Montagna hooked a left and parked in a small lot near the low-slung customs office.

In Italy, all cargo containers carrying scrap metal get checked for radiation, by hand, before they’re allowed off the docks. At Voltri, this job falls to Montagna, a 49-year-old independent consultant certified as an expert in radiation detection by the Italian government. By the time he arrived that morning, longshoremen had gathered eleven 20-foot-long, 8-foot-wide containers from across the terminal, relying on manifests to determine which ones needed to be scanned. The boxes were lined up in two neat rows near the terminal’s entrance.

Montagna, dressed in a polo shirt, jeans, and an orange safety vest, grabbed his radiation monitor — a tan Ludlum Model 3 about the size of a toaster. He plugged in a heavy sensor wand and set the device on the ground 20 yards away from the containers. The Model 3 emits a high-pitched beep every time it detects a radioactive particle; Montagna turned it on, and the meter’s needle swung hard to the right, burying itself past the maximum reading of 500,000 counts per minute. Instead of its usual staccato chirps, the machine was whining continuously and frantically....