Year End Cute

Kids can be cute too, those these guys are probably more CGI than DNA.

 





h/t: lumberbrudi, B, and others

Stuck in the Ice

Australian Green Party Senator-select Janet Rice is on 

board. She is pictured doing a touchdown dance after finding 

a "slushy patch" and "a little bit of water" on the deck behind 

her. "Obvious proof of global warming," she said.

Undaunted they advanced, then, well a little daunted, and then OK, we're stuck in the ice:

They went in search evidence of the world’s melting ice caps, but instead a team of climate scientists have been forced to abandon their mission … because the Antarctic ice is thicker than usual at this time of year.

The scientists have been stuck aboard the stricken MV Akademik Schokalskiy since Christmas Day, with repeated sea rescue attempts being abandoned as icebreaking ships failed to reach them.

Now that effort has been ditched, with experts admitting the ice is just too thick. Instead the crew have built an icy helipad, with plans afoot to rescue the 74-strong team by helicopter.

But don't count these guys out, their funding depends on finding global warming so they'll spin furiously to put a warm face on their petard hoisting. I expect something along the lines of, "Just think how much worse it would have been were it not for global warming."

And for My Next Trick

Police Lure Naked Suicidal Man Off Ledge With a Sandwich

 

 So this happened:

PORTLAND, Ore. - When police arrived at a building on the corner of S.W. 15th Ave. and S.W. Yamhill on Saturday, they found a naked man standing on the ledge, cutting himself and threatening to jump.


Sergeant Drake Hull who was one of the first officers on the scene, said the man was occasionally tripping and barely coherent as he walked on a 24-inch ledge.
An officer trained in crisis-intervention began talking to the man, who said he was hungry. Police then procured French fries and a turkey and bacon sandwich from the nearby Hotel deLuxe.  The man apparently wasn't overwhelmed when presented with the sandwich.

And I was thinking, couldn't you make a kick-ass Hellmann's  commercial out of this? Guy's on the ledge, wild eyed, ranting, naked, erratically pacing. (does Christopher Lloyd do nudity?) The police sergeant turns to the rookie cop (Tracy Morgan?) and gives him the task: Turkey Sandwich, stat, and make sure it's made with Hellmann's mayonnaise... 

I'm of two minds about the ending: either the jumper dismisses the sandwich until he sniffs the air and says, "Wait a minute... is that Hellmann's?" and turns toward safety, or, the crazed man takes a bite of a non-Hellmann's creation, spits it out, and, closeup on open-mouthed Tracy Morgan as you hear, "I wanted Hellmaaaaaaaaaaaaann'sss."

You don't have to pay me cash, Unilever, just buy something from my Amazon links.

Livin' the Dream

Boxing Day

Most Americans have only a vague idea of what Boxing Day is. Yes, it started out as the day we trash the boxes the Christmas presents came in, or possibly, something entirely different; I'm not sure.

Sure, I could have read the whole wikipedia article and parroted it back to you. But I don't look at a thing and wonder what it is; I look at a thing and wonder what it should be. And shouldn't Boxing Day be a day for everyone to take a swing at Sean Penn?  I mean, in an ideal world, wouldn't that be best?

Too Many Santas

Merry Birth of Our Lord and Savior, I Don't Care What You Say

and a happy new year

'Bout Them Ducks

Merry Christmas

Don't be brainwashed by mainstream magazines' depictions of how a reindeer should look.

Quote of the Week

re: AGW

Quote of the Week: • “We’re spending money that we don’t have, to solve a problem that doesn’t exist, at the behest of people we didn’t elect.” Douglas Carswell, Tory MP for Clacton, UK


via

Prease Read Our Article, When You Can Find It

I was going to link to a Smithsonian article about a new probiotic that can prevent tooth decay. At least I think that's what it's about - I decided it wasn't worth killing pop-ups, slide acrosses, and autoplay videos in order to finally get down to what I was looking for.

Anyone noticing more and more irritating ads these days? And then sometimes the autoplay video that wants to rob you of 30 seconds of precious life fails to load properly, and you spend extra time waiting for something you don't want to see in the first place.

It's like we've been transported back to GeoCities personal sites from 1995 - remember when every page had blink tags and twinkly banners? It's like there's a contest to see just how much crap we can fit onto a page now.

But those blinky GeoCities sites had their own charm at least. Sure they'd give you a headache after three minutes,  but at least you could see the page, then click onward. This new batch of ad splatter is designed to keep you away from your goal as long as possible.

Anyway it's given me an idea. First, create links to a provocative and compelling "article". Only on the page, don't put anything but ads. The trick will be to layer the ads so thickly that no amount clicking can ever get through to the bottom. You don't even have to position an article underneath it all; no man alive can ever click down to the crux of the biscuit.

Call the article: "New Evidence Points to Sexual Assault Gene in Kennedy Clan" or "Conclusive Proof that Michelle Obama Was Paid $300,000 a Year for Pretend Job" or something along those lines. Or you could even make it fictional.

Now go out there and earn your first million. (and send half to me)

Pajama Boi

I see an opportunity to slip a gay joke in here, while the alphabet community's focus is concentrated on Duckman Phil. Joke courtesy of Jonah Goldberg.

Where Were They Five Years Ago?

I'm listening to the press conference. When it came on the radio, my first impulse was to switch to the static channel. But then something strange happened: someone asked a question that didn't sound like it was written beforehand by the White House.

They're asking about healthcare, and warrantless surveillance, and mistakes. Oh sure, he's still spinning the answers. And speaking so long and stream-of-consciousnessly that by the time he's done you've forgotten what the question was. 

But it's almost as if the press corps is no longer the press corpse. This is good. Things may be looking up.

Don't Fear the Reaper

Jammies

I Knew This Would Get Out

Figures Oregonguy would pick up this story:

October 10, 2013--Sheriff's Deputies responded to a remote area in western Washington County to rescue a 58 year-old hunter who had been assaulted by a naked man.

On October 10, 2013 about 9:00 a.m., Sheriff's Deputies were called by a hunter who said he was attacked by a naked man and now was holding the man at bay with his hunting rifle.  He reported he was in a very remote area south of Highway 26 in Manning, north of Banks.

Multiple deputies assisted by Oregon State Police, searched the area by the descriptions given them by the hunter.  Deputies used their air horns in an attempt to have the hunter direct them to his location in the heavily wooded rugged terrain.  As the deputies hiked in and got closer, they had the hunter blow his whistle to pin-point his exact location.  The search was very difficult and time consuming due to the thick forest and steep terrain.

I always drink a bit more as it gets colder, and it never ends well. Heck I don't even remember the walk to Oregon.

Write-In Candidate for Employee of the Year

Sometimes fraud is good:

The EPA’s highest-paid employee and a leading expert on climate change deserves to go to prison for at least 30 months for lying to his bosses and saying he was a CIA spy working in Pakistan so he could avoid doing his real job, say federal prosecutors.

John C. Beale, who pled guilty in September to bilking the government out of nearly $1 million in salary and other benefits  over a decade, will be sentenced in a Washington, D.C., federal court on Wednesday. In a newly filed sentencing memo, prosecutors said that his lies were a "crime of massive proportion" that were “offensive” to those who actually do dangerous work for the CIA...

...Beyond Beale’s individual fate, his case raises larger questions about how he was able to get away with his admitted fraud for so long, according to federal and congressional investigators. Two new reports by the EPA inspector general’s office conclude that top officials at the agency “enabled” Beale by failing to verify any of his phony cover stories about CIA work, and failing to check on hundreds of thousands of dollars paid him in undeserved bonuses and travel expenses -- including first-class trips to London where he stayed at five-star hotels and racked up thousands in bills for limos and taxis.

 The EPA is tasked with keeping the environment  clean and safe. They're like those German bathroom attendants. They will clean up when necessary but they're also there to enforce the Bathroom Rules. Paper towels go in the trash can, bitte!

The EPA is like that except that they've learned that they can also keep the floors clean by not letting anyone into the bathroom. They routinely discourage industry via regulations.

They're like an anti-prosperity machine; seemingly unconcerned with economic impact. So maybe it's not such a bad thing when an EPA employee shirks his duty. I'd rather pay for London vacations than put up with the regulations Mr. Beale could have been writing. In fact, we should do an economic impact study to determine what would happen if we sent the entire EPA off to London.

OK, so London couldn't possibly accommodate all of them. But we could spread them out. Deputize them as junior-CIA and send them out to hobble our enemies for a change.

As for Mr. Beale's hutzpah, I say huzzah! Who among us hasn't claimed to be a CIA operative when confronted by authority in the middle of our drunken transgressions? "I know this appears to be a crime, officer, but I cut the head off the statue in order to install a monitoring device for the CIA. Now please leave before you blow my cover." 

Elaborate falsifications are Climate Change experts' raison d'etre. Mr. Beale was doing his job, just in an area where the EPA hadn't requested deception.

Free John Beale!

Adobe Elements 12

What a deal, they offer the full version for $69 but since I'm a loyal customer, I can upgrade for only $79.

Good thing I don't rate the student discount; that'd probably jack it up to $89.

Or there's always what I call the third way. That involves the Adobe team plus one cactus per person.

Just as well.  I understand Elements 12 is a bit of a disappointment

Who the Hell are We Anymore?

Eric Cartman Holder - Whatever! I do what I want

The mind boggles:

Aaron Key wasn't sure he wanted a tattoo on his neck. Especially one of a giant squid smoking a joint.

But the guys running Squid's Smoke Shop in Portland, Ore., convinced him: It would be a perfect way to promote their store.

They would even pay him and a friend $150 apiece if they agreed to turn their bodies into walking billboards.

Key, who is mentally disabled, was swayed.

He and his friend, Marquis Glover, liked Squid's. It was their hangout. The 19-year-olds spent many afternoons there playing Xbox and chatting with the owner, "Squid," and the store clerks.

So they took the money and got the ink etched on their necks, tentacles creeping down to their collarbones.

It would be months before the young men learned the whole thing was a setup. The guys running Squid's were actually undercover ATF agents conducting a sting to get guns away from criminals and drugs off the street.

The tattoos had been sponsored by the U.S. government; advertisements for a fake storefront.

The teens found out as they were arrested and booked into jail.

Earlier this year when the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel exposed a botched ATF sting in Milwaukee — that included agents hiring a brain-damaged man to promote an undercover storefront and then arresting him forhis work — ATF officials told Congress the failed Milwaukee operation was an isolated case of inadequate supervision.

It wasn't.

 I still don't understand how the media gave Holder a pass on Fast and Furious. Or how Obama kept him. Heck, I would have been ashamed to be associated with him after he refused to prosecute black on white voter intimidation.

The Journal also found:

Agents with the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives employed rogue tactics similar to those used in Milwaukee in every operation, from Portland, Ore., to Pensacola, Fla.

Among the findings:
■ ATF agents befriended mentally disabled people to drum up business and later arrested them in at least four cities in addition to Milwaukee. In Wichita, Kan., ATF agents referred to a man with a low IQ as "slow-headed" before deciding to secretly use him as a key cog in their sting. And agents in Albuquerque, N.M., gave a brain-damaged drug addict with little knowledge of weapons a "tutorial" on machine guns, hoping he could find them one.
■ Agents in several cities opened undercover gun- and drug-buying operations in safe zones near churches and schools, allowed juveniles to come in and play video games and teens to smoke marijuana, and provided alcohol to underage youths. In Portland, attorneys for three teens who were charged said a female agent dressed provocatively, flirted with the boys and encouraged them to bring drugs and weapons to the store to sell.
■ As they did in Milwaukee, agents in other cities offered sky-high prices for guns, leading suspects to buy firearms at stores and turn around and sell them to undercover agents for a quick profit. In other stings, agents ran fake pawnshops and readily bought stolen items, such as electronics and bikes — no questions asked — spurring burglaries and theft. In Atlanta, agents bought guns that had been stolen just hours earlier, several ripped off from police cars.
■ Agents damaged buildings they rented for their operations, tearing out walls and rewiring electricity — then stuck landlords with the repair bills. A property owner in Portland said agents removed a parking lot spotlight,damaging her new $30,000 roof and causing leaks, before they shut down the operation and disappeared without a way for her to contact them.
■ Agents pressed suspects for specific firearms that could fetch tougher penalties in court. They allowed felons to walk out of the stores armed with guns. In Wichita, agents suggested a felon take a shotgun, saw it off and bring it back — and provided instructions on how to do it. The sawed-off gun allowed them to charge the man with a more serious crime.
■ In Pensacola, the ATF hired a felon to run its pawnshop. The move widened the pool of potential targets, boosting arrest numbers.Even those trying to sell guns legally could be charged if they knowingly sold to a felon. The ATF's pawnshop partner was later convicted of pointing a loaded gun at someone outside a bar. Instead of a stiff sentence typically handed down to repeat offenders in federal court, he got six months in jail — and a pat on the back from the prosecutor.

"To say this is just a few people, a few bad apples, I don't buy it," said David Harris, a professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law and an expert on law enforcement tactics and regulation. "If your agency is in good shape with policy, training, supervision and accountability, the bad apples will not be able to take things to this level."

A fish rots from the head down. This isn't a few bad apples; the rot starts with Holder and his boss.

Would the Last Person Out Please Turn Off the Lights?

Well, they've closed down the last remaining primary lead smelter in the United States:

On Dec. 31, 2013, The Doe Run Company’s primary lead smelter in Herculaneum, Mo., which has operated since 1892, will cease operations. As a result of the smelter’s closure, 145 Doe Run employees, and approximately 73 contractors, will lose their jobs. Seventy-five positions will be retained for closure and limited operations. Although the United States is home to a number of secondary lead smelters, which recycle lead from various sources, the Herculaneum facility is the last primary lead smelter in the United States. (Primary smelters produce lead from mined resources.)

In 2010, Doe Run reached a comprehensive settlement with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the state of Missouri. As part of that settlement, the Company agreed to discontinue its smelting operations in Herculaneum by the end of 2013. Over the operating life of the smelter, the Company spent millions of dollars in environmental and other upgrades. Continuing to upgrade the aging smelter to attempt to meet the increasingly stringent environmental regulations imposed on primary lead smelters was not economically feasible given the many other requirements of our business.* We shared this news in 2010 in a press release available on our website.

What might this do to the price of batteries now that we won't be making any new lead, just recycling what we have now? Think it might go the way of gasoline? Concrete? 

The government does everything it can to restrict the oil we pump from the ground, or transport to refineries. They've doubled the price of gas as a means of forcing us to use less of it. And it's working... for poor people. And it's making life harder for the middle class, who are on their way to the poverty line.

The EPA has caused or will cause the closure of 20% of all concrete plants, and will increase the price of every yard produced by those who survive.

They mandate that an ever increasing percentage of our corn crop be diverted into gasoline production, thereby raising the cost of corn, gasoline, and animal feed. (therefore meat) This, even though even diehard environmentalists now admit that the practice does more harm than good.

God help us if we don't turn this around in the 2014 and 2016 elections. We're on our way down while China is on its way up. My concern isn't for loss of Merica Nummer One status. My concern is for the fate of the country when China is the superpower, and can use its industrial might against us. What do we do when we're no longer capable of building the industry to fight back?

Selfie

(clickabiggen)

It's Going to be a Long Flight Back

Sign Language Interpreter at Memorial Service Was Faking It

 The "complete charlatan who had no clue." Next to him

is Mr. Jantjie, the South African sign language interpreter.

From the AP:

JOHANNESBURG (AP) - A man who provided sign language interpretation on stage for Nelson Mandela's memorial service, attended by scores of heads of state, was a "fake," the national director of the Deaf Federation of South Africa said on Tuesday...
 
...Three sign language experts said the man was not signing in South African or American sign languages. South African sign language covers all of the country's 11 official languages, according to the federation. It wasn't immediately clear if the unidentified man was using a different method to communicate...
 
...Nicole Du Toit, an official sign language interpreter who also watched the broadcast, said in a telephone interview that the man on stage purporting to sign was an embarrassment.
"It was horrible, an absolute circus, really really bad," she said. "Only he can understand those gestures."

Big Brother Approaching

More beware of Google stuff:

KSTP also reports that during the period that HealthCare.gov was hosted by servers owned by Google, the tech giant appeared to be capturing MAC addresses—reporter Nick Winkler characterizes them as “computer fingerprints”—which can identify individual computers.

“It seems weird to me,” Lanterman told KSTP. “I’m a little bit troubled by it. It’s not something that would ordinarily be collected, so someone had to make a decision to collect it.”

Google has been unwilling to speak with KSTP about the collection of MAC addresses.

Seventh-day Adventists Either

Life wasn't easy for outdoor cats on Brewster Street.

Been There

Andrew tried to paint the house. He really did. But every 

time he took out the ladder, life would get marvelous 

and he'd forget what he was supposed to be doing.

From "Smash the State!" to "More Government!"

via

Short Weekend Cute