Saturday, December 31, 2005

EZ Christmas Shopping through Amazon

Regarding Order # blah-blah-blah
qty: 4 of ASIN/ISBN: B00074USGU
"5 LED flashlight with batteries"

These flashlights arrived *without* batteries, one inoperative, one
intermittent, and one in a box with "He's Dead, Jim" handwritten on the
side. And the "He's Dead" one, obviously a return, had a pricetag from
"wiredco" for $10. 00.
OK, I understand the Christmas rush probably made things crazy around there
but you should never resell inoperative returns. I didn't see the "he's
dead, jim" writing when I wrapped this as a (late) christmas gift and so I
looked like a regifter of defective presents.
Considering the quality of these flashlights, I don't want to keep any of
So what to do now? Can you send me 4 comparable flashlights, ones that
work, or should I return these 4 and void the sale?

OK, Should have known better. But at $15, these looked like
great little-gifts. And manly enough so that I didn't feel gay giving
them to other guys. But man, cheap doesn't describe them. Put one
into the junk drawer and all the other crap would kick its butt, dental
floss, paper clips, and hair scrunchies included.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Border Security

According to U.S. officials thousands
of underage puppies are brought into
the U.S. for re-sale via the border crossing
stations annually. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

Not mentioned in the Yahoo story is the fact that these puppies
take the jobs of American born puppies and flat out refuse to
learn the language.

Monday, December 19, 2005


“More Iraqis think things are going well in Iraq than Americans do.
I guess they don’t get the New York Times over there.”
—Jay Leno

Friday, December 16, 2005


From Cute Overload:

Now you can have cute everyday. (I used to have to use mirrors to
get my daily cute fix...)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Other Shoes Dropping

Who knows what will happen? Life is change. And doors don't only just
close; new ones open all the time.

Har, a goat farmer. I couldn't make this up.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Modified this post because it's not good to talk about contracts out loud.
Except to say: lost the bid to a goat farmer? You've got to be kidding me, God.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Wimpy-wambly Snow

The huge storm turned out to be a wimpy kind of icy-sleety kind
of thing. Doesn't matter to me though, all my customers wimped out
on work today. Good.
Condolences to all who *are* buried in snow though. Maybe a snowman
would cheer you.


100_2191, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

Peeking through the snow, nature abides.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Iraq the Model follows Saddam's trial:

The testimony in general was very touching that it forced the butchers to shut up for a long time and even when Saddam tried to act as if he were still in power he looked so stupid and foolishly arrogant in front of the suffering of the witness who finished his statement by saying “at age 15 I went to prison for 4 years with the rest of my family, seven of my brothers were executed and none of us got the chance to see a judge or get a fair trial’.

Warm up the wood-chippers.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Al Sharpton wants his own sitcom?

No, not from the onion:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - He has led civil rights marches, scolded the nation's leaders and even run for president, but the Rev. Al Sharpton now wants to do something completely different -- star in his own television sitcom.

Sharpton, in an interview with Reuters on Friday, confirmed a report in Daily Variety that he would soon be filming a pilot for a family show called "Al in the Family" that would revolve around his larger-than-life personality.

"I don't know if I am a good actor or not but I will be playing myself and I have been practicing that for 51 years," the New York Democrat and civil rights leader said.

Don't know if it's for real or not. If true, there's a pretty good chance
that his life up to now has not been a sitcom. Hard to swallow
it is.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Not My Bike

Not my snow yet either. Not even my city. And it's not me even. So, but it's
snow, and that's what they say we're getting. I'm ready for it. *

Friday, December 02, 2005


Pope set to abolish limbo I say good. It always hurt
my knees anyway.