Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Yakety Sax

Notice that I get a little less political when the world gets more nervous making? Like I would jinx it if I speak about how fearful Putin is about Obama's non-crossable lines.  Fact of it is, tanks rolled into Czechoslovakia even when there were real men in the White House. The Obama team is probably not even a factor in Putin's calculations.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I Don't Know What the Photographer is Doing

But I wish he would stop.

Coincidence ?

The light seems to be coming from the right direction for this to just be a coincidence. But man, this not good. Could a clever cameraman have engineered a shot like this? Well, remember these are the guys who could get a halo around the Kenyan's head most of the time before that first election.
 Oh man, did I say that out loud? I'm sorry. Oh well, it's too late to backspace now.

In other news, Alec Baldwin swears off New York, and Jane Fonda cries all the time. I say: remember how he left America when Bush was reelected, and I wonder if it'd be possible to purchase some of those tears.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Be Careful What You Wish For

It's not a secret that the problem with electric cars is the battery. Solve that and anyone can make an electric car. But a battery breakthrough will bring new problems.

From MIT Technology Review:
Back in 2011, President Obama set the ambitious goal of having 1 million electric vehicles on US roads by 2015. Whether automakers will hit this target is the subject of much debate. But the possibility of the widespread adoption of electric vehicles raises an interesting problem.

It’s easy to imagine the number of electric cars increasing but it’s much harder to see the electricity generating capacity increasing the same rate at the same time. Generating capacity will eventually catch up with this extra demand. But in the meantime, how can all these cars be charged?
It's good they're working on this now because when some 15 year old savant develops a lightweight battery, constructed from common household materials, electric demand will explode.

Big Al Says

Big gassy Al Gore says:

“The Dust Bowl is coming back, quickly, unless we act.”
-Al Gore

Read more here:
That's right. Global warming is going to make us plow up natural ground cover in semi-arid regions, then leave them vulnerable to wind erosion -- just like in the Dust Bowl.

He also told some flooding lies, but rewriting the reason for the Dust Bowl gets the prize this week.

Friday, February 21, 2014

How Lazy Have We Become?

I can see it now: the barbeque was set to begin in an hour and the urban grillmaster went out back to clean off the grill. On his way out, he had to step over the Roomba. And a light bulb appeared over his head.

So twenty minutes later the Roomba is melted and there are carpet fibers embedded in the grill skludge. Then came an afternoon of guests asking what was that odd seasoning in the burgers, and his wife's betrayal, and the threatened lawsuits.  But out of this perfectly understandable, albeit regrettable, chain of events came an idea: the Grillbot.

All I can figure is that these guys have never seen my grill. Sure, the Grillbot might clean it but then what's going to clean the Grillbot? A Grillbot-bot? And what's going to clean that? See where I'm going with this? I just have too much "grill-patina" to ever get clean without military grade explosives being involved.

Don't get me wrong, I think this is a great idea. But look at that thing. It's much too pretty to be set loose on a crud covered grill. Better just put it in a display case in the living room. But keep the charger; I have a feeling they'll be racing these things in Texas before long.


via: forgot where I found it

Thursday, February 20, 2014

US vs Canada Hockey


Twenty Survival Tips

Didja know?:

3. Stay on the Dock.

On May 20, 2013, Kyle McGonigle was on a dock on Kentucky's Rough River Lake. A dog swimming nearby yelped, and McGonigle, 36, saw that it was struggling to stay above water. He dove in to save the dog, but both he and the animal drowned, victims of electric-shock drowning (ESD). Cords plugged into an outlet on the dock had slipped into the water and electrified it.

STAT: The number of annual deaths from ESD in the U.S. are unknown, since they are counted among all drownings. But anecdotal evidence shows that ESD is widespread. ESD prevention groups have successfully urged some states to enact safety standards, including the installation of ground-fault circuit interrupters and a central shutoff for a dock's electrical system.

DON'T: Swim within 100 yards of any wired dock. But do check whether docks follow safety standards.

Many of these survival tips are just common sense but some might surprise you. For instance did you know that the safest place to be during a natural disaster is in the interior room of a mansion, eating lobster with clarified butter? There are also surprisingly few hunting accidents in mansions. Afraid of drowning? Again, the safest place is the palatial estate.

That's why Al Gore will live forever most likely. Next to mansions, the safest place to be is in the rearmost seat of your limousine. Sipping champagne, without bears or snakes in attendance. (or if you absolutely must have bears, make sure they're small bears)  

h/t: Wet/Dry

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Clown Shortage?

Drudge linked to this:

EXCLUSIVE: National clown shortage may be approaching, trade organizations fear

As the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus returns to Brooklyn Thursday, membership at the country's largest clown organizations has plunged over the past decade amid declining interest, old age and higher standards for the jokesters.
 I think there's been a miscount. The clowns are out there, they've just quit using the makeup.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Situational Constitutionality


Snow for Valentines Day

Nature can be inconvenient. Here I am, stuck  in the snow and unable to do my Valentines Day shopping. I was just telling the wife that this year I was going to get her dozens of roses, chocolates from Austria, a cheese sampler, an assortment of Steiff Teddy Bears, gold and silver necklaces, and a beer helmet. (gag gift) And here I sit, powerless to spend that money.

So far she's taking it well. I've gone out of my way to be nice -- I let her use the good snow shovel, I reminded her to get the sidewalk too, and I didn't criticize that she missed a spot... But she is a little peeved that this is the second year that I've failed to deliver. Yes, I know there was no snow last year. That was the year I couldn't find my car keys. Believe me, I was just as disappointed as she was.

Maybe next year will be better.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Cute With a Snowy Ending

This one's a little long, but, snow:

Also Works on "Bingo Wings"



Hey also - did you hear the blah-blah-blah from Benjamin Kline Hunnicutt? He is professor of leisure studies at the University of Iowa. His argument is typical dross, of the type: put words in the mouths of Republicans then read their minds.  

But while his article interests me absolutely zero, I'm intrigued by anyone clever, or devious, enough to make a career out of something that comes naturally to  his students. (well, to all mankind actually) How do you teach leisure? And more important: is it possible to fail a course on leisure studies? "I'm sorry son but you just didn't apply yourself this semester. Perhaps you should have enrolled in the introductory leisure course first."

It also makes me wonder if I could get a similar job. I think I'd do well as Professor of Yawning and Stretching. Really, you should see me yawn. Many find it such a compelling yawn that they must look away before it is half done. Why, I've yawned so well that it's required a trip to the emergency room to have all my joints put back in place. I mean really, I can yawn in three foreign languages.

But as Al Gore would say, I'm serial now, I wonder if Prof Hinnicutt teaches the only non intuitive truth regarding leisure: that it becomes much more enjoyable following a period of really demanding work. 

(could this professor Hunnicutt actually exist?)

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Poor Samuel

That's how you can tell a real star; he doesn't even worry that people will notice him stomping on the small-fry local anchor. I saw this clip on one of those entertainment shows and the hosts were sympathetic to Mr Jackson's plight, especially a black female hostess who admitted, "This has happened to me too so I know it can hurt."  Bitch, please.

And Jackson's tantrum didn't really have to do with being mistaken for someone else. He knows that happens all the time. He must have been irritated about something else, and humiliating this B or C list white guy was a way to blow off steam; with the bonus of affording this very rich 1 percenter a chance to play the oppressed black man. 

From IMDb:

People shout at me "Hey, loved that "The Matrix", man!" Yeah - me too. I was actually on a plane last year and this guy sat down next to me. Finally he said something to me, and we started talking about Pulp Fiction (1994). He couldn't remember the actor's name, so I tried to help and said "I think it might have been Samuel Jackson." He jumped in "No, no, it's the other guy, that Fishburne guy". We rode the whole flight having that coversation and then, right at the end, he looked hard at me and said, "You sure look familiar, you're sure you're not Laurence Fishburne?" I said "No, and I definitely am not in "Pulp Fiction" either'."
-Samuel L. Jackson
People mistake me for Laurence Fishburne all the time. And he always gets mistaken for me. (And why not? We've both starred in Spike Lee movies, haven't we?) Even when we're standing together, people have called him by my name and me by his. A woman recently ran up to him and said, 'My daughter loved you in "Pulp Fiction"! Could she have your autograph?' So he signed it, 'Respectfully yours, Samuel Jackson.'
-Samuel L. Jackson
 Poor, poor Samuel Jackson. If I ever run into him I'll be sure to mistake him for Morgan Freeman.

"If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." 
- J. K. Rowling

Monday, February 10, 2014

Remarkable Chutzpah

Jonah Goldberg on the 2.5 million:

Keith Ellison thinks it's great though:

REP. KEITH ELLISON (D-MN): What the Congressional Budget Office is saying is that we're going to discouraged kids having to have latchkeys. We're going to have parents being able to come home, working reasonable hours; people are going to be able to retire. People might be able to actually cook dinner rather than have to order out and get some takeout.
I can't help but think that Obama supporters envision the same Utopian socialism as Karl Marx. They may not have a blueprint, but their shoot-from-the-hip approach to social engineering always points in that direction. Get the government to take care of everyone's needs and free the people to pursue their dreams.

The numbers don't add up though. It didn't work for the FSU, and it won't work here. Don't think of me as an evil conservative, think of me as someone who knows math.

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Michelle Warned Us -- He's Fundamentally Changing America

HuffPo say:

Because of Obamacare, the national labor force could shrink by the equivalent of 2.5 million full-time workers, according to a Congressional Budget Office report released Tuesday. While that may seem like a dire prediction, it would largely be the result of Americans having more choices for how they get health coverage — not the result of businesses hiring less.
Then the Great Depression was a huge success at giving choices.

So long as your choice isn't "to work productively" you've got an embarrassment of riches in the choice area. 

Unique (almost)

Digital photography has made images much cheaper to produce. So much so that I wonder if one day we'll have taken every picture that's possible to take.

When I ran across the above picture I thought, "finally, something unique." But on closer inspection I realized that the parrot was yellow, not orange, so I just filed it in the Nuns With Yellow Parrots and Clowns folder.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Two Women

Two women. One is married to the president of a country
 that is now run by a socialist. The other one is Nina Khrushchev, 
married to Nikita Khrushchev, leader of the Soviet Union.

Monday, February 03, 2014

The Argument Against Coats

I might finally agree with Peta on something. Men don't need fur coats.

Joe Namath btw is showing his age. Believe it or not, full length fur coats for men were a thing back in the 70's - 80's. It was to show you had money. (sort of a "I'm so rich, I don't mind if I look like my grandma from behind")

I remember the airlines having a problem with this. Five or six of those guys could use up every overhead bin in first class. (where they tended to show up)

Real men grow chest hair if they're cold.