Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Where's That Trebuchet?

If you like your candy, you can keep your candy...

Sure, and when you wake up, all the Snickers and Twixes are gone.

Aquatic Hardware

Or, as they say on the web: Aquatic Hardwhere.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

I've Been Waiting for This

When we found out that Obama was tapping Angela Merkel's phone I knew it was just a matter of time before he played the but-Bush-did-it-too card:

Der Spiegel said Merkel's mobile telephone had been listed by the NSA's Special Collection Service (SCS) since 2002 - marked as "GE Chancellor Merkel" - and was still on the list weeks before Obama visited Berlin in June.
One problem though. Angela Merkel wasn't chancellor in 2002. She didn't become chancellor until 2005. So at the very least, the SCS document is not from 2002.  Is it even accurate?

You can't conclude that the White House leaked this new information, but you can bet they aren't going to be going after this new leaker with a vengeance. They're are two types of leaks: Those that help the president; and those that must be stopped. 


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

OK Houston, I'll Try Again

This is why we train.

Police Investigate Reports Of Local Gay Man Being Dragged Behind Boat

And it was fabulous:
“Witnesses indicated that the two suspects appeared to enjoy putting the gay man through this ordeal, even laughing out loud at him when he yelled that they were going too fast.”

Kitty Go Jumppy Jump Jump

Boing - Pwiew! Meeeeooooow! which translates to: "If you like your present plan, you can keep it. If you're happy with your doctor, you can keep him too. Yooow! Here comes the asphalt."

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

US Caught Spying on the French

The State Department has apparently dispatched
 an elderly lesbian to handle the situation.*

I don't know what we were hoping to find. The French and this administration are natural allies in their disdain for all things American.

* apologies to elderly lesbians everywhere.

Sometimes it's Like That

Sorry for light posting. I'm doing stuff.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Scientific Literacy

Who didn't know this?:

A finding in a study on the relationship between science literacy and political ideology surprised the Yale professor behind it: Tea party members know more science than non-tea partiers...

...“I’ve got to confess, though, I found this result surprising. As I pushed the button to run the analysis on my computer, I fully expected I’d be shown a modest negative correlation between identifying with the Tea Party and science comprehension,” Kahan wrote.
“But then again, I don’t know a single person who identifies with the Tea Party,” he continued. “All my impressions come from watching cable tv — & I don’t watch Fox News very often — and reading the ‘paper’ (New York Times daily, plus a variety of politics-focused internet sites like Huffington Post & Politico). I’m a little embarrassed, but mainly I’m just glad that I no longer hold this particular mistaken view.”
More literate. In fact, I bet that if you tested the science literacy of all liberals they'd find that almost half are less literate than the average.

Cute as a Bug

Where does that come from, "cute as a bug"? I like bugs as much as the next man but I don't think I've ever seen a cute one. You can photoshop a cute one out of caterpillar and Obama images, but I have way to much respect for the presidency to ever do that. (ha, I sure wanted to write: but I have way too much respect for bugs...)

Anyway, cute:

Long video, nobody could blame you for skipping to 2:30 or so. Well, they could, but they'll get an argument from me if they try it. I got your back.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Dr Strangelove

The American president goes Slim Pickens on the red line crossers in Syria.

New NPS Seal


Fraud Alert

Beware of look-alike websites:

Insurance regulators and an industry trade group warn that this month's rollout of the health insurance marketplaces created by federal law opened the door for bad actors at the same time that it gives brokers and agents a business opportunity.
New Hampshire's insurance commissioner sent a cease-and-desist letter last week to an Arizona company he accused of building a website that could mislead health care coverage shoppers into thinking it was the official New Hampshire marketplace. The site was taken down on Friday.

If you're not sure you're on an official government website, check to see if it seems to be working. If you can navigate around and the buttons seem to work - get out of there ASAP, it's probably a  look-alike. The real Obamacare exchanges cause your screen to freeze and your keyboard to smoke.

The Passing of the Dinosaurs

"Whoops, we forgot to invent gunpowder." Truth be known, the absence of trigger fingers was just as great a handicap.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Not So Sure About Obamacare

As you all know, I give our president every opportunity to succeed before I reluctantly suggest that possibly one of his policies falls short of his usual awesome success that nobody can figure out why we didn't think of that years ago.

Sorry, that first sentence kind of got away from me. But the point is, maybe Obamacare isn't just the most wonderful thing we've ever seen.

They say Obamacare's thunderous popularity has choked their servers.  So I thought I'd see what is possible. I googled (every day Google answers more than one billion questions) the number of transactions Amazon can process in a day. I found that At the peak in 2012 they were making 306 sales per second. (or 27 million per day) At that rate they could zip through the entire population of the US in less than 12 days.

Obamacare hasn't quite reached that level of efficiency. I know one Obama campaign worker was able to buy insurance. Well, sorta, he later said that he was registered but hadn't quite bought anything yet. (but he doesn't believe that he lied under certain ways of interpreting English) By now though I suppose there are at least a few Americans signed up and ready to get sick. Bring on the disease!

It would be interesting to calculate how long it would take for Obamacare to sign up the entire population, but the administration won't divulge the rate at which applications are being processed. Divide the population by the rate per year and you'll know how long it's going to take to get everyone covered. I suggest insuring young people first because chances are, many of us will die of old age before they get to us. (problem solved!)

Oh, another topic: The truckers plan to snarl traffic in the DC area seems to have fizzled. But I wonder who I would have blamed had I spent 3 hours stuck in traffic today. The truckers would say I should read their list of grievances, and blame the government for making the truckers inconvenience me. But I'm pretty sure I'd blame the jackass trucker who was keeping me from driving over 5 miles per hour.

The same applies to Park Policemen who are going out of their way to frustrate their fellow citizens. Do they think the victims can't see who is doing this to them?

Blue Screen From Chicago


Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Coffee Shop Trauma

Funny thing is, I used to do the exact same thing. Only, you know, without the levitation, or telekinesis.

The Crime of Recreating

I was going to point out the inequity of allowing Democrat lawmakers to use the national mall for a political rally while Japanese tourists are being intimidated in Yellowstone, but as most of you know, there is one steadfast rule at Are We Lumberjacks: Never criticize any event or activity that ends with the arrest of Charles Rangel.  It's just an extension of the alls-well-that-ends-well philosophy.

About Yellowstone, though:
“They looked like Hulk Hogans, armed. They told us you can’t go outside,” she said. “Some of the Asians who were on the tour said, ‘Oh my God, are we under arrest?’ They felt like they were criminals.”
I mean, come on.  Someone walking on the Mall, or stopping at a scenic overlook, costs the government zero dollars. And it actually costs money to try to prevent such activities. So why are we spending money on thuggery in the middle of a government shutdown?

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Thursday, October 03, 2013

And Wasn't Fond of the Pigeons Either

tusind tak - lumberbrudi

Other Closings

The shutdown has confirmed something I have long suspected: the Insane Clown Posse is a department of the federal government. "Let me be clear, there will be no Gathering of the Juggalos, not while I can still raise my hand and manage a stern expression," Obama declared.

Over Zealous

The White House has admitted that it erred in trying to shut down Disney World on Tuesday. White House press secretary, Jay Carney, said that "it turns out that Disney World is not part of the National Park System" and that it would be allowed to remain open.

I was kidding, of course, but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction:

The Pisgah Inn, a private hotel that holds a concession on the Blue Ridge Parkway, has become a national sensation as it defies “intimidation” and a National Park Service order to close its doors.
After a tumultuous few days, inn owner Bruce O’Connell told The Washington Times on Friday morning that he had just reopened his doors for customers, despite the park service telling him he had to shut down. He says he’s essentially private property, on a road that’s still open, and uses no government personnel, so he sees no reason to quit operating.
“I’m questioning their authority to shut me,” Mr. O’Connell said.
The National Park Service is involved in several high-profile battles during the shutdown, including having barricaded open-air monuments and memorials in Washington. Veterans busted through barricades at the National World War II Memorial earlier this week, gaining national attention.
But the Park Service closures extend throughout the country, shuttering parks — and many of the private businesses that run concessions in them, such as City Tavern in Philadelphia, and Nauset Knoll Motor Lodge on Cape Cod.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013


Yes, that one on the left does say, "Please Kill Me." And apparently these are actual clothes. What I wonder is, does anyone ever really buy stuff like this.

Of course, I have little use for anything that isn't flannel, preferably with pine needles and sawdust adhering in places.

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Comic Relief



I Forgot How to Borscht

I sometimes check out the google translations of Russian recipes:

Heroically perechistim our bow, and then set on fire a pot with water and bring it to a boil and then we omit the onions in boiling water and let the whole pokipit depending on the bulb size 1-2.5 minutes. 
What fun. You can generally figure out what they are saying if you know what the desired result is. (this is part of a recipe for pickling onions)

I'm not crazy about all Russian food but some of it is quite interesting. I keep an eye out for recipes that use substitutions due to shortages from the Soviet Union era. I expect to draw on this knowledge once Obama is done transforming America. (see how I shoehorned that in there?)

 Yes, I know that the Obamas will be ready with food solutions once the White European Oligarchy has been obliterated, but "contact your local community activist" is not a recipe.

Shutdown Update

No word yet on emergency funding for a study group to asses the impact of shoe leather on concrete under conditions of insufficient government supervision.