Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Boyda goes, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalaalala.."

From LJWorld, Rep Boyda steps out on Gen.'s testimony:

Boyda, a freshman Democrat from Topeka, said she left the House Armed Services Committee hearing on Friday for about 10 minutes during the testimony of retired Gen. Jack Keane. . . .

Keane had testified that since the troop surge began, U.S. forces "are on the offensive and we have the momentum." He also said that security has improved in every neighborhood and district in and around Baghdad, and that "cafés, pool halls, coffee houses that I visited are full of people."

When Boyda returned to the hearing, she ridiculed Keane's description of Iraq "as in some way or another that it's a place that I might take the family for a vacation--things are going so well--those kinds of comments will in fact show up in the media and further divide this country instead of saying, 'Here's the reality of the problem.' "

Boyda, it seems, wants to suppress information about success in Iraq, because such information would "divide the country." Better that the country be united in defeatism.
You have to wonder, did arguments in favor of civil rights "divide the country"? But it's not about unity, according to a spokesman, it's about conversation:
Boyda’s chief of staff, Shanan Guinn, said Monday that Boyda left the hearing “to kind of compose herself because she’s understandably frustrated with the way the war’s going.”

“She was frustrated with how the administration is handling the war, that no one wants to have a real conversation about ways to move forward and our brave men and women oversees are being played like a political ping pong ball,” Guinn said.
She wants a conversation but not the kind where her side listens to the other side.

h/t: the amazing James Taranto

Fraud and Abuse

Michelle's got it right:

Republicans can’t tell the Dems to clean their House, if they won’t come clean about the GOP’s own dirtbags. Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens is one of the biggest and dirtiest. Now, the feds have raided one of his homes.
You have to wonder if this came as a surprise to Sen. Ted Stevens. He, of "bridge to nowhere" fame. I mean, shouldn't a wise crook at least insist that the projects he takes bribes for benefit his state in some way? Is corruption the real reason we have tax-and-spend republicans?

I say take down all the corrupt congresspeople, D and R alike. And if the US attorneys drag their feet, then I say we ask the congresspeople if we can fire them.

It Wasn't Called Whiteland

It was called Greenland because it was green when my ancestors found it. It was green, then it got much colder, now it may be warming again. And because of that it should be the poster-child-country for the concept of climate. Still our elected feel they can better serve us by visiting the place. Another group just went to the place where "glacial melting and rising sea levels have already forced the human and animal population to adapt" (oh what will we do when that sea level rise gets to us?):

....That sentiment was shared by Sen. Frank Lautenberg, D-N.J., who said that "viewing the vast Greenland ice firsthand underscored the magnitude of the potential consequences of unchecked global warming, since melting Greenland ice would cause a 23-foot rise in sea levels worldwide. The economic and ecological impacts for our country would be devastating."
Twenty-three feet? Let's make it 23 meters. No, make it 23 miles. Sheesh. Can we go back to Paris Hilton now?

Monday, July 30, 2007

The Candidate's Hair

No, not John Edwards', Hillie's. This from the amazing K-Lo at the Corner:

And because Photoshop is always running on my computer:

Judge Roberts

The story is that Judge Roberts fell and was taken to the hospital and is probably fine. So I thought I'd check HuffPo to see how their moderators are doing with the fringe majority on that site. Only 6 comments so far, and no I-hope-all-the-brown-shirts-die posts. One though was cute:

He took Harriet Miers' position, remember? WHEN not if Bush goes to the SC to challenge Miers' contempt charge, Roberts will rule in favor of the thugs who just beat him up and sent him to the hospital. Roberts just learned that he can get beat up, sent to the hospital, and the news will report he "fell." Damn, that's gotta hurt.

If that doesn't read like a Bush Mafia threat... you haven't been paying attention.
Wheeee! Always fun at the Huffpo!

Monday Ducks

A twofer, ducks and Rageboy.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

CPDRC inmates doing "Hail Holy Queen"

Filipino inmates at the Cebu provincial jail, some wearing nun's costumes, perform a mass dance routine, "Hail Holy Queen" from Sister Act. If I was going to be locked up with a bunch of guys in the Philippines.... I'd see what else was available. Click on it to go to the youtube page and see other acts of insanity.

Free Speech

What has Germaine Greer has become? She called Princess Diana 'devious, slow and disturbingly neurotic,' Why? And remember her nastiness after Steve Irwin's death? Why, ever, call the dead names? Was it because they were so popular, and Ms Greer never was? Or because they can't fight back?

Germaine Greer should hook up with Jimmy Carter so they can spend the rest of their days in some retirement community criticizing the rest of the world that still matters.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Mmmm, Tap Water

Did you see where Aquafina is going to start labeling it's water as being from the tap? This is so the environmentally concerned can pay a buck fifty for 16 oz.s of water without feeling guilty about it.

They'll still have to individually work out a rational for not feeling stupid about paying a buck fifty for 16 oz.s of water.

Good Morning Duck

Hello, Mr. field duck.


New Lancet report:

A single joint of cannabis raises the risk of schizophrenia by more than 40 per cent, a disturbing study warns.

The Government-commissioned report has also found that taking the drug regularly more than doubles the risk of serious mental illness.
All I can say is wow. That is what they were telling us in the 50's and 60's. I suppose some of us listened and some of us are in hiding because Paula Zahn is out to get us and she's got a machine that can steal our thoughts and turn them to voices that tell us to do bad things. Bad, bad things. Why, oh why can't the mother ship just come and stop her?

Really? this is scary. If true, I mean. Course, it's a study, and if I was a pot smoker, I'd rationalize: hey the next study will say the opposite, I don't smoke that much, I'll quit before I get too squirrelly, etc. etc. So if it's true I hope the word gets out in a way that will convince our pot smokers. We don't have a great track record with that.

(Ron Paul joke deleted because it was in poor taste)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Berlin Fashion Week

I really love Berlin fashion week. This year doesn't seem as zany as some years past, no paper maché skirts, or hats with goldfish in them. Anyway, going through the slide show, I come to this image. Ha! I see that Those Who Dictate Fashion are still trying to copy my abs. Give it up, guys. You'll never get it exactly right. And besides, that's my old look. I've moved on from that look. Long ago.

What Makes America Great

Change that to almost makes America great. This image is from a high-heel race in St.Petersburg. Course, it looks like the kind of thing Americans would do, right? But sadly, no, it was St.Petersburg, Russia. Still, at least it happened in a place named after a city in Florida. Way to go Rooskies!


Porkbusters has a spreadsheet of the 1776 earmarks in the Defense appropriations bill. 1776? how patriotic. But what caught my eye was who the big earmarkers were:

Member # Earmarks Requested
Young, C.W. Bill 59
Murtha, John 46
Lewis, Jerry 38
Moran, James 30
Visclosky, Peter 28
Kingston, Jack 26
Tiahrt, Todd 25
Dicks, Norman 24
Kaptur, Marcy 21
Cramer, Robert 20
Frelinghuysen, Rodney 20
Hobson, David 20
John Murtha has 46 in there? This guy?:
....a videotape of a Jan. 7, 1980 Abscam-related meeting involving Murtha shows that the congressman's rejection of the offered bribe was less than definite. "I'm not interested. I'm sorry," Murtha told the FBI agent, but added that he meant "at this point.

"You know, we do business for a while, maybe I'll be interested, maybe I won't," Murtha said on the FBI videotape.
Sheesh. We never learn.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Qacar, NO!

Hear about Oscar, the nursing home cat who can predict who's going to die?

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Just a thought, but maybe the nursing home staff should keep a close watch on this cat.

Pank Lady

Translated: "There's another 3 minutes 15 seconds you won't get back."


John watched the scene from the dock and sighed. "I'd like to be out there with them," he said to Elizabeth, "but, there are only two things that would sink my campaign: close scrutiny, and being photographed with wet hair."

"We picked the wrong year to give up snorting hash," she replied.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

There's Good News Too

It doesn't kill them, darnit, but someone discovered that you can repel the ducks with alphorns. Apparently a group in New Jersey was able to keep the ducks away from their church picnic by looping a Ricola commercial over the PA system.

Futile Battles

No not in Iraq. There are signs the surge is working. The futile battles are going on in California, where they continue to engage the enemy ducks with outdated tactics.

For the hundredth time people: you can't defeat them with water. They're ducks!


I know I'm running the risk of just becoming another Duck Blog:
warning: sound, French

Monday, July 23, 2007

Rule of Thumb

Ever have trouble remembering who are the moderates in the Middle East? I mean, it's always changing, right? So who are the Palestinian moderates these days, Fatah of Hamas? Not sure? Well, don't worry, I've figured out a rule that will always tell which ones are moderates and which are extremists.

Rule: The moderates are the ones who paint their rockets pastel colors.


I like what Drudge (or whoever he got the photos from) did: Spliced two pictures together to show Obama and Clinton facing each other. Although I couldn't physically get drunk enough to vote for either of them, I have to say that of the two, Hillary looks the most impressive overall.

But face it, crop the photos a different way and it becomes clear: Obama is the better listener.

Where's the Honor in This?

And where's the denunciation from moderate Muslims?

LONDON (Reuters) - A Kurdish woman was brutally raped, stamped on and strangled by members of her family and their friends in an "honor killing" carried out at her London home because she had fallen in love with the wrong man.

Trouble at the Zoo

Zoo officials in Wenling, China said they had never before witnessed rabbits getting into the tigers' cage. Well of course not, rabbits and tigers are natural enemies.

I wonder if there's a Chinese PETA?


Sunday, July 22, 2007

There's Something About Al

Woo-hoo! Al gore and Cameron Diaz team up to get the message across that we need to change the way we live. Course, it's "none for me, thank you" when it comes to changing their lifestyles. But with those two climate scientists on the case, I'm sure the rest of the world is going to be convinced.

h/t: Tim Blair

Safe Travel

It's a complex world. The threat to air travel would appear to mainly be from men of Middle Eastern appearance. But CAIR has lawyers ready to sue you if you express concern about bizarre behavior from Middle Eastern men.

It is unknown if CAIR is behind the flying (walking) Imams, but witnesses reported that the Imams behaved bizarrely. And now CAIR is helping them bring lawsuits. Why would the Democrats oppose a bill to shield ordinary citizens from lawsuits for reporting suspicious behavior? Don't any of them fly commercial?

Message to lawsuit-baiting men from the Middle East: behave bizarrely on my plane and you'll have to worry about a seat-belt extender enema. We'll let the lawyers figure out if you needed it at a later date.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Cheney Flexes His Muscle

President for just three hours, Cheney ordered the trapping and caging of PETA protesters. Sadly, his executive power ran out before he could order cosmetic testing be done on them.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Harry Reid Asks for Observer Status

From Breitbart:

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush will have a colonoscopy Saturday and temporarily hand presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said.
Really, a colonoscopy? After Harry Reid's first hundred days, a colonoscopy would seem redundant.

Fact of Fiction?

Some have questioned the account of "Scott Thomas" the new fictional whistle-blower from Iraq who has all the dirt on the terrible things we do to steal Arab oil. In particular, some have questioned his description of "square backed" 9mm shell casings.

Well I guess the evidence speaks for itself. Apparently the unicorn mounted Iraqi police do use such a round.

***Update: It's a photoshop! And even if it weren't, there are no unicorn-mounted Iraqi police. Saddam killed all the unicorns.

***Update again: Maybe there is something to this "Scott Thomas". He seems to have also found some of the special bullets that the Iraqi police use to shoot around corners.

Hillary Answers Elizabeth

It's true, everything is news nowadays. Ignoring his own need to butch-up, John Edwards gets his wife to accuse Hillary of not being feminine enough. Now Hillary responds with this:

"There wasn't an unseemly amount of cleavage showing, but there it was. Undeniable."
There it is John, undeniable. I can't wait to see the Edwards response. Will it be a cleavage race to the belly button between Elizabeth Edwards and Hillary Clinton? (this is the one I'm rooting for) Or will John Edwards fem-up some (more)? Time will tell.

Duckification of Plame

The old Gypsy woman warned Valerie that if she told a lie the spell would be broken and she would revert to her original duck form.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I know, I know. It's a lake. Lake Karma.

The Horrors of Beef

Su Taylor, or a bunch of typing cows pretending to be Su Taylor said:

Su Taylor, the press officer for the Vegetarian Society, told New Scientist: "Everybody is trying to come up with different ways to reduce carbon footprints, but one of the easiest things you can do is to stop eating meat."
It just goes on, and on, and on, doesn't it? Apparently Japanese scientists (what would we do without them) found:
Producing 2.2lb of beef generates as much greenhouse gas as driving a car non-stop for three hours, it was claimed yesterday.
OK, so next time I eat a 2.2 pound steak, I'll feel guilty. In fact, right here I'm going to make a pledge to limit my steaks to just 20 or 24 oz.s. And I promise to always ask for a baked potato with sour cream and butter with my steak so as to fill me up and keep me from being tempted to order a second steak. It's a pledge. Hey, I feel like an eco-warrior already.

Also pretty cool is the fact that Al Gore is with me on this one. In fact, this may be the one area in which Al Gore is more eco-friendly than me. He burns hundreds of times more jet fuel than me, hundreds of times more heating fuel, and he beats me in just about every other area of consumption, but by golly, the man has made the switch over to a total Cinnabon diet so you can't say he isn't trying.


Yikes, did you see:

NEW YORK - Gisele Bundchen tops Forbes.com's list of the world's richest models, earning $33 million in the last 12 months.
I can do math: say she's probably ten times better looking than me. And take off 50% because I'm a guy. OK, and take off another 50% for the age differential. Alright, and another 50% for the odious hump. That's still $412,500.00. Hire me. I've been practicing my wistful smile all morning.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Gates of Vienna Update

UPDATE: Woo-hoo. (which is my response to most things) Baron has been released from blogger limbo!

No news yet on the Blogger block of Gates of Vienna. But I still haven't gotten a bounce from support@blogger.com so maybe it's a good address. They seem to be famous for unresponsiveness to complaints though. (that is probably due to the vast number of "customers" they've got) I'm going to keep writing even though I suspect my mail ends up in the bulk mail bin.


Must keel squeerrill!

h/t Boing

Silly Senate

Sen. Mary Landrieu recites the Dem talking points, but doesn't get into what we do if bin Laden is in Pakistan, or dead, or both. Thanks though, Mary, I'm sure the guys out looking for bin Laden appreciate your visual aid. Also unexplained is what would happen if we left Iraq. One thing she is sure of though, Bush bad.

We know what's really on your mind though.

Unfairness Doctrine?

A message from Baron at Gates of Vienna:

I just attempted to post at Gates of Vienna, and was told by an automatic message that our blog is suspected of being a spam blog, and has been blocked by Blogger.

The full text of the message:
“This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.”
And here’s what Blogger says about what we are suspected of:
“What Are Spam Blogs?

“As with many powerful tools, blogging services can be both used and abused. The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.”
I followed Blogger’s instructions, typed in the visible letters to prove that I was not a bot, and am now awaiting a response from the Powers That Be.

In the meantime, I can’t even post a notice at Gates of Vienna bout what is going on.

If you don’t think Gates of Vienna is a spam blog (and assuming that your blog has not also been blocked by Blogger), please post a notice about what has happened. If you know of a way to contact Blogger or Google, please let them know that Gates of Vienna is *not* a spam blog, regardless of how politically incorrect it is.


Thank you.
Nobody who has read Gates of Vienna is going to mistake it for a spam blog. My guess it is kos kids, or similar, reporting the blog as spam because they don't like the message and don't have an argument to counter it.

Blogger makes it very hard to find an e-mail address for the admin team, so I'm writing to support@blogger.com. I'll post a better address if I can find one. It wouldn't hurt to let blogger know how you feel. They should be concerned by this kind of screw-up because there are certainly alternative hosting sites out there.


Baron will be posting at The Vigilant Freedom/910 group blog if this goes on for any length of time. Also, so far mail to support@blogger.com hasn't bounced.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

DVD Released

Well it's July 17th, the release date for the new DVD, Islam: What the West Needs to Know, starring Mr Robert Spencer, of Jihad Watch. My copy is on order. From the Amazon page:

Virtually every major Western leader has over the past several years expressed the view that Islam is a peaceful religion and that those who commit violence in its name are fanatics who misinterpret its tenets. This claim, while widely circulated, rarely attracts serious public examination. Now, the question is finally being asked, "Is Islam itself violent?"
Above is a photoshop I did for Jihad Watch. No, those guys aren't really holding copies of the DVD. Click on the photo for the Amazon page.

For Harry Reid's Office

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley Kills Snape and runs off with Hagrid to hunt polar bears.

OK, maybe that's not true. But maybe it is!

Word is
, the ending to the Last Harry Potter book is on the internet. And human nature being what it is, we need not fear anyone spilling the beans, because nobody would want to spoil it for the rest of us.

Oh wait, human nature is like that on Opposite Day; every other day of the year, people will be happy to spoil it for you. So, unless you rip the modem from the wall you will come across the ending before you get a chance to read the book. My advice? Obfuscate. We need to all write our own endings and post them around the www so that the real ending is lost in the forest. Sound impossible? Well yeah, probably.

The Debates

Monday, July 16, 2007

Worst Nightmare

NEW YORK - "Sicko" filmmaker Michael Moore called a truce Monday in his weeklong fight with CNN that flared when the network accused him of fudging facts in his popular documentary about the health-care system.

Moore had promised the network over the weekend that "I'm about to become your worst nightmare,"
So worst nightmare averted. For now.

I have to admit that Michael Moore was once my worst nightmare. It was very troubling until I found a simple trick for diffusing it: I would just repeat over and over as I drifted off to sleep: "no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex, no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex, no responsible bicycle shop would ever sell him spandex...."

Great Literature

click bigger

From BoingBoing:
We can now grasp the origins of the Bush administration's foreign policy! It was all there in T-Man #3, 55 years ago!
How proud this guy is! Exclamation marks for everybody! Somehow I don't think I would get that excited if my view of realty was the same as one from an old comic book. Hey guys! Look at this! We believe what the comic book does!

Uh, yes. And maybe that should tell you something.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Surgeon General

Cynthia Tucker is shocked, shocked! that there was political pressure placed on the politically appointed surgeon general (Richard Carmona):

He was even discouraged from going to the Special Olympics, a charitable event that supports disabled Americans, because the organization is linked to a prominent Democratic family. "I was specifically told by a senior person, 'Why would you want to help those people,'" Dr. Carmona said, referring to the family of Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass.
Sounds to me as though Dr Carmona construed any offhand comment as marching orders. At the very least, whoever passed on the orders to snub the Special Olympics should have also informed President Bush before he gave a dinner to honor them:

President Bush: "If you ever had any doubt about how much good one person can do, look no further than this kind and gracious lady. On this special occasion, I ask you to join me in a toast to the Special Olympics, and to Eunice Kennedy Shriver, and to her contributions to our nation -- past, present, and future. God bless."
No doubt that as the President offered the toast, aides were crouched on the floor beside him frantically sotto voicing, "noooo,noooo, Mr President, we don't like her.."

As for stem cells (read the article for Cynthia's whining), aren't members of the Administration expected to at least not contradict stated policy?

New Picture, Old Picture?

There seems to be some confusion as to age of the recently released bin Laden clip. Careful analysis shows that this is old footage.

How can you tell? Easy. From the above frame grab we see that he is with his first wife, who disappeared sometime in 2003, reportedly because she couldn't adapt to life in the caves.

Saturday, July 14, 2007


Good News - Bad News

The Bad News: They've utilized disguises to blend into the non-Giant Duck population. Oh, and they're anarchists.

The good news: You can anticipate their attacks because they are always preceded by a 4/4 string ostinato in D-minor.

Tag, I'm it

So Gates has tagged me. Random Facts is the tag. These are the rules:

1. Let others know who tagged you.

2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.

3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.

4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

5. If none of the rules say, "don't change the rules," feel free to add 3 rules your own.

6. These extra rules don't count however.

7. d'oh!

OK the random facts:

  • I am not really a lumberjack.
  • I do, however, own several flannel shirts.
  • I can travel through time. (though only in the usual direction, at the usual speed)
  • I was a liberal in college.
  • I go through the self check-out at the supermarket because I'll sometimes freeze when they ask, "paper or plastic".
  • I was an idiot in college. Sorry, already did that one.
  • I like to cook.
  • No, really.
  • I've already lost count of the random facts, and am unsure which ones should really qualify as part of the eight.
  • I've never been much of a guy for following the rules.
  • I'm also aware that most of my readers don't count so good.
  • I enjoy my work.
  • I drive too fast, and too aggressively, but only when I'm alone.
  • I started the fad of wearing short sleeve shirts with a fabric softener sheet sticking half-way out one arm hole.

OK there they are, eight random facts. And I'll tag OMMAG, Stonestead, Wry Mouth, OregonGuy, Dallas, Such is Life, and A Modicum of Decorum. And I'll see who else I've got e-mail addresses for. That should have been my first and most prominent fact: I am not that organized.

Thanks to Dymphna at Gates of Vienna for the tag, even though I still haven't finished the last tag from about 6 months ago.

Bonus fact:
  • As a general rule at our house, when two people head for the bathroom at once, preference is given to whichever one is willing to say, "but I have to pee like crazy." That person then has to go in and make noises like a crazy person loud enough to be heard throughout the house.

***Update: Ha, tagged Six Meat too. I can't believe I actually followed the rules on part of this.

Be On Your Guard

As we learn more about the Giant Ducks, we become better able to fight them. Of course, their tactics are changing too, so be on your guard. One thing that may be of use: Don't ever invite them into your home. They can be really charming but that will change the instant you invite them in.

Apparently, like vampires, they can't enter a residence unless they are invited in by a human. So they will say anything in order to gain entry. "Oh, we're moderate Ducks, we think decimating cities is wrong. We just want to be your friends. My, that necklace looks stunning on you...."

Just don't invite them in. Don't do it. Really.

Smaller Debates

DETROIT (AP) - Democrats John Edwards and Hillary Rodham Clinton consider themselves among the top presidential candidates.

They were caught by Fox News microphones discussing their desire to limit future joint appearances to exclude some lower rivals after a forum in Detroit Thursday.

Edwards says, "We should try to have a more serious and a smaller group."

Clinton agrees, saying, "We've got to cut the number, oh, don't stop licking my forehead."

Edwards replies, "First say that I'll be included in the debates."

Hillary argues, "John, look you're pretty and we all really like you, but you're not what I'd call an intellectual heavyweight. Just keep licking my forehead, that really feels refreshing."

But Edwards stands firm, "Not until you promise."

Hillary, exasperated, "Oh John, you're such a pill. OK, I promise. Happy? Now come on, back to work pretty boy."

Cow Problems

Kevin Atherton has noted new research indicating that cows are problematic at both ends. Seems their burps are ruining the planet. (too) So many things are ruining the planet, sometimes it's hard to keep track of them all.

Anyway, Kevin has updated his Inconvenient Cow Poster to reflect the new peril:

Friday, July 13, 2007

Unintended Consequences

How strange that Al Gore has inadvertently been helping the human side in the Giant Duck Wars. It seems he's taken a private plane up North to talk with the amok Giant Ducks. No, not to talk them out of their attacks on humans. He's trying to get them to testify before congress that they are only leaving the polar regions because Republicans have killed all the polar bears, which had been their most common prey. He's also trying to get several to appear in his new film project: An Inconvenient Duck, which aims to prove that Republicans are the cause of it all.

Funny thing though, about twenty minutes into Gore's presentation, any Giant Duck within earshot will give a little quack, then have its head explode. Gore has eliminated a large number of Ducks already but has stopped looking for new victims. "I'm not doing your dirty work for you," he said, "Let George Bush fight the Giant Ducks. He started it."