Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Barbie Fatwa

Barbie is in hot water and it's not a bubble bath this time:

(AP) A top Iranian judiciary official is warning against the "destructive" cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

In the latest salvo in a more than decade-old government campaign against Barbie, Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said in an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi that the doll and other Western toys are a "danger" that need to be stopped.

"The irregular importation of such toys, which unfortunately arrive through unofficial sources and smuggling, is destructive culturally and a social danger," said the letter, a copy of which was made available to The Associated Press.
Well look at Fulla, the "acceptable" alternative. Which one do you think flies off the shelf? Plus, the Barbie doll has outfits that you can change. (or so I'm told) The Fulla doll has the burqa glued to it's body, which really isn't a body, just a stick with a transmitter that alerts the culture police should anyone try to remove the burqa. No, this isn't about Barbie; it's about doll sales.

Odd that I'd be a Barbie defender. I wish I had a nickel for every time I had to disassemble the vacuum cleaner to retrieve a Barbie head. Or chase the dog around the house trying to "save" her from the fate of all chew toys.


What I was talking about.

I've been doing some research, and apparently Fulla is selling well in the Middle East.
"She's honest, loving and caring, and she respects her father and mother."

Fulla is still single and there are no plans for an Islamic equivalent to Ken, Barbie's former boyfriend. However, a Doctor Fulla and Fulla as a teacher are planned - both respected careers for women.
Presumably she bends at the knee and can survive a severe beating. There is a Fulla car, that she's not allowed to drive. And blue jeans are available, but only as part of the honor-killing accessory pack.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I Don't Buy This One

I kinda suspect this latest Rev. Wright mess was planned, "You go out and repeat your whole spiel, and I'll feign surprise that you're such a radical and denounce you, OK?" Sure, it's a conspiracy theory, but these are Democrats:

Wright's statements ``offend me, they rightly offend all Americans and they should be denounced and that's what I'm doing very clearly and unequivocally today,'' Obama said in a news conference in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

"Furthermore, I will wear a flag lapel pin from time to time, I will quit hanging out with an unrepentant bomber, and I'll work with my wife to try to find something else about America that she likes. I'll even allow as to how some people can embrace religion, defend their right to bear arms, and have strong opinions about illegal immigration for reasons other than being bitter over unexpected unemployment."
OK, he didn't say that last part. That was me, embellishing. It's like putting extra teeth in Al Sharpton's mouth, I just couldn't resist. But my addition is probably as true as Obama's "denouncement". I mean really, senator. Are you pretending that you were previously unaware that your spiritual mentor thinks the government invented AIDS to kill black people? That's not the kind of an idea that a person keeps to himself. An idea like that, to someone who believes it, shapes their whole world.

Anyway, we've all heard the tapes, seen the videos. Don't give me that out-of-context crap. You cannot even invent a context in which those kind of ugly ideas become pretty. And we don't need a president so unobservant that he didn't notice that his spiritual adviser was a spiritual wreck.

Celine Wannabe

Near, Far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does -Thwap!

Where's That Blink Tag?

Or maybe I should get a revolving red light, like Drudge. But I should have something to highlight this post, because it's probably the first, last, and only time I'll ever agree with Barack Obama:

During what a source described as a "heated" phone call yesterday, Sharpton told Obama he was disappointed with the Illinois senator's words on Friday, when Obama said "resorting to violence to express displeasure" was "completely unacceptable and counterproductive."
[regarding the Sean Bell case]
Well that says a lot, doesn't it. Barack Obama says "behave responsibly," and Al Sharpton says, "quit showing off for the white folks".

So score a point for Obama. He could have kept his mouth shut, but instead threw a little cold water on "Rev" Sharpton's hoped-for riots. Good for him.

By the way, I was trying to repair a blemish on Sharpton's image and may have inadvertently given him a bigger mouth, with some extra teeth, and possibly I might have turned some of them upside-down.


Don't know if this is a photoshop or not. If it is, I didn't do it.

Kinda Funny

The Chinese, is there anything they don't manufacture? From the BBC:

Police in southern China have discovered a factory manufacturing Free Tibet flags, media reports say.

The factory in Guangdong had been completing overseas orders for the flag of the Tibetan government-in-exile.

Workers said they thought they were just making colourful flags and did not realise their meaning.

But then some of them saw TV images of protesters holding the emblem and they alerted the authorities, according to Hong Kong's Ming Pao newspaper.

The factory owner reportedly told police the emblems had been ordered from outside China, and he did not know that they stood for an independent Tibet.

Workers who had grown suspicious checked the meaning of the flag by going online.
Sad thing is, now they'll shoot the factory owner for his ignorance. Then the factory workers for finding the flags on the internet. Then they'll contaminate the flags with lead and ship them anyway.

The Insanity Defense

"... where the cantata meets the Ramones,
four hours to go, come on everybody!
I wanna be sedated,
Nothing to do,
Nowhere to goooo-oo..."

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Let's Gettr Done

"Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now does someone
want to tell me which toilet the kitty went down?"

"OK Mike, It's still funny, it's hilarious, now please go back."

Apart From That Mrs. Lincoln, How Did You Enjoy the Play?

Hillary suggested it:

Clinton took the debate dispute to a new level, challenging Obama to face off with her in a debate without a moderator, Lincoln-Douglas style.
I'm not normally one to help out a Democrat but if these debates are Mrs. Clinton's idea, I think Obama needs to make sure there's no play afterwards.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Wave a Flag

The Fourth of July in Norway is May 17. That is, it's Constitution Day, or Independence Day. A day to celebrate. This is what being Norwegian is about:

"From the city council’s viewpoint, we’d like to encourage the waving of Norwegian flags, but there is not any ban on flags from other lands," said Fabian Stang to newspaper Dagsavisen.

A number of immigrant organizations expressed the view that children should wave the Norwegian flag on the 17th of May, and Mayor Stang agreed with the sentiments.

"My hope is that it would be completely natural for all to carry the Norwegian flag on the 17th of May," said the mayor.
See how accommodating? "It's our hope that, if they want to, though nobody has to, but if anyone did want to, we think it would probably not be too bad if they waved a Norwegian flag a little." Hastening to add that absolutely any other flag would just be super too. Really, just dandy.

It is kind of funny, kind of endearing. These are my grandparents, and parents, and cousins, so I can spot Norwegian Selfless Syndrome from a mile away. And it's funny to me, but it makes me fear for the country. How can they integrate a culture and religion that believes apostates should be beheaded, and homosexuals stoned? "Well, I suppose that would be OK, if you stone them a little I suppose, though it would be a shame for someone to get hurt. Don't you think it would possibly be a little better to throw pretend stones? I mean if that's OK with you."

Food Shortages

Now, with the internet I imagine we can spook ourselves into food shortages. Sort of like a run on the bank, panic spreads, and people hoard, and the artificial shortage is born. Make no mistake, there are shortages, and prices are going up, but there will be enough to eat in this country. Ethanol smuggists will tilt their heads, vote themselves an ego stroke, and starve other people. But we won't see it here, not for a good while. When food prices start to get ridiculous they'll blame Global Warming, and republicans, but not themselves.

Anyway, I was premature in thinking the panic had begun, after seeing this headline over at NRO:

Mexican official caught stealing White House BlackBerries.
I thought, "poor bastards, reduced to this," but it turns out it wasn't the pie kind. It was the digital toy kind.

***Also: The must read on this mess, by Deroy Murdock:

If scientists can develop ethanol that neither starves people nor rapes the Earth, splendid. However, this enterprise must not rest upon morally repugnant, ecologically counterproductive, economically devastating, government-ordered distortions.

Course, the sensitive earth smuggies will accuse him of being in the employ of Big Rice, but sooner or later reality will catch up with them. They can ignore poor people eating dirt in Haiti but they'll notice my elbow to the forehead as I wrestle the last bag of Basmati from them in aisles of Sams Club. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Cry Havoc!

And let slip the rabbits of war!


SOB Mouse

Go mousey, go mousey, go mousey:

IOWA CITY, IA—University of Iowa neuroscientists studying spatial learning and the effects of stress on memory announced Tuesday that a little son-of-a-bitch mouse ruined an experiment on cognitive performance by effortlessly navigating a maze that researchers spent nearly a year designing and constructing....

"It is regrettable to spend such a tremendous amount of money studying mammalian neuropathways, only to have some hotshot mouse ruin everything," Eng said. "However, we have compiled substantial data on this species's ability to breeze right in and destroy an entire postdoctoral legacy."

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Poor Jimmy Carter, always misunderstood. So now, because of widespread misunderstanding of his brilliant bringing of peace to the world, he's been forced to clarify his statement:

Hamas said they would accept a Palestinian state on the 1967 borders if approved by Palestinians, and that they would accept the right of Israel to be wiped from the map, and destroyed, "with nothing left but a wisp of smoke."
Well all I can say is thank you, Jimmy, for getting us this far.

Whoops! Where'd the Corn Go?

Seen the Earthday Google graphic? Makes you feel good, huh? Well makes you hybrid drivers feel good anyway, and that's what's important.

But it leaves something out. Don't worry though, I've added it.

Not to play the starving children card or anything, just to note, again, that the grain it takes to fill an SUV tank with ethanol could feed a person for a year. And you hybrid drivers, well I suppose you can feel good that you only starve a half a person per fill-up. Let them eat oil, huh?

So, OK, right now most states don't go above 10% ethanol - let's just leave it at that for now. Let's not have Al Gore's theory take food out of the mouths of the poor. Because starvation happens, that's not a theory.

Inconvenient Goof

Do you think Al Gore, witnessing the savaging of Hillary Clinton by her flock, ever wonders if one day it will be his turn? That day can't come too soon for me.

One step in that direction: News Busters notes that ABC has discovered computer-generated footage from "The Day After Tomorrow" in Al's supposedly non-fictional "Inconvenient Truth." Of course, the bulk of Al's film is alarmist fiction, but ABC didn't notice that. Still, we'll take what we can get.

All We Are Saying

Cox & Forkum

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mug Shots

Want to feel better about your day? Nothing picks me up like a quick browse through (other people's) mug shots.

Click "previous page" to view others; some introspective, some odd, some scary, and some that seem to indicate that the people didn't realize why they were in the police station.

Graphical Monday

From a new Gallup poll. It's good to see that the "very worried" haven't changed much in 19 years.

And another one, you may have to embiggen it, from the WEF:

Which seems to show that western countries see more interaction with Islam as a good thing, unless they've already had significant interaction with Islam. Note that the question asks about Islam, not "militant Islam". But look at the results from Belgium on down; the results are startling.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Remember for Next Halloween

Here's a trick for making that last minute costume next Halloween.

But it can be used in the Home Depot to embarrass the wife or kid at any time of year.


Bill Maher

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Patronize This

Jackie and Dunlap don't play dat.


Brent Bozell III knew the game before he saw the movie; from his review:

It is a reality of PC liberalism: There is only one credible side to an issue, and any dissent is not only rejected, it is scorned. Global warming. Gay "rights." Abortion "rights." On these and so many other issues there is enlightenment, and then there is the Idiotic Other Side. PC liberalism's power centers are the news media, the entertainment industry and academia, and all are in the clutches of an unmistakable hypocrisy: Theirs is an ideology that preaches the freedom of thought and expression at every opportunity, yet practices absolute intolerance toward dissension.
Which, I think I've said before, though probably not as well. The black/white, enlightened/evil, sophisticated/stupid mindset of "progressives" makes dialog with them pretty much futile. But their arrogance seems to have made them ripe targets for Stein. Richard Dawkins wasn't prepared to answer questions because in his world he doesn't have to. In his world he picks the questions, and dismisses with scorn any questions that might show a chink in his armor. I have to see this movie; if for no other reason than the fact that Dawkins now complains that he was duped into appearing in it.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Earthquake Rattles Midwest

Just because nobody died doesn't mean there weren't tragedies.

Bowl Away the Bitterness

It's Ann:

The winner of the Democratic primary is always the candidate who does the best impersonation of an American.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Extreme Cow Breakdancing

I suppose it's an accomplishment to train cows to
dance at all, but really, monkeys and goats are much better,
and they don't require constant validation.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Did I ever post this one before? If so, sorry. I'm always cheered to know someone is having a worse day than me.

Pope related light blogging today. We're sleeping-over four kids for Popapaloza on Thursday. They've put me in charge of staying out of the way.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Two Things

Well, three things actually. First, well, know what? let's skip the first thing. OK? Second thing, looking at this picture, you can see.... wait a minute. That makes no sense without the first thing; which we already skipped. So right on down to the third point I was going to make. Which was the important one anyway. Third thing: damn. I can't believe I forgot what the third thing was.

***Update: OK, first thing then. What I was doing when I found the fairly odd professional-wrestler-punk-rock-gun-girl above was: I was searching "gun, girl" [yes, with safe search turned on] in order to find an image of a girl/woman with a gun and a bible that I could Photoshop Hillary's face onto. The idea being that politics is forcing her into a mold that surely is abhorrent to her. And I didn't really find anything suitable.

But what I did find.... And maybe it means nothing, but I found out of the thousands of images of girls/women with guns, about one in twenty shows the subject pointing it at her own head, or heart. Doesn't that seem like a lot? Aside from the fact that it's a stupid thing to do, how is it that that many women would even think to aim the gun at themselves? There were even more images of that than of other people (usually idiot boyfriends it looks like) aiming the gun at them.

I don't know; probably means nothing. It's disturbing though. More my speed:

It Was All So Simple

It was there all the time and my muddled, conservative, brain just couldn't see it:

All they ever wanted was hugs.

Leave it to Jimmy Carter to lead us:

RAMALLAH, West Bank (AP) - Former President Jimmy Carter embraced a leading Hamas figure Tuesday, according to participants in a meeting that infuriated Israeli officials already upset by Carter's freelance Mideast peace mission.

Carter also laid a wreath at the grave of Yasser Arafat.....
OK, Homeland Security, stand down, we've got this under control.


Puffy shoulders, no make-up, expressionless faces, where is Grandpa Walton?

I got to know many LDS church members when I worked in Utah, and they were nothing like these folks. These guys are fringe. In fact, if it weren't for the caption, I'd have guessed this was Moscow's People's Hospital enema team, getting last minute instructions before going forth to, um, do their thing. "OK, ladies, let's stay focused. And remember to do your equipment inventory at end of shift. We can't afford any more unfortunate incidents."

Call this one: Breakfast at the Mental Institution.

Look ladies, you can live however you want, and believe anything you like, but failure to protect your daughters breaks everything.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Pope Reacts

Stung by recent economic setbacks, Pope Benedict XVI
announced plans for a six-day U.S. visit supposedly
to inspire, to affirm and to teach. Astute Democratic
insiders say that this isn't the first pope to cling to religion
when economic times got tough. "You should have seen
pope John Paul during the stock market crash in 1987,"
said a spokesman for Barack Obama, "It was God-this,
God-that, the Bible says this, all day long. I tell you, he was
nonstop Catholic. So we expected this pope to do the same."

Global Warming

not here yet...

She's Looking Better All the Time

I know I put my Vast Right Wing Conspiracy membership in jeopardy when I say this, but I kind of admire the Hillinator for her Well if We Can't Beat Him Then Let's Get Drunk Tour in Pennsylvania. Even worse, I found myself mouthing, "You go girl," when I saw the picture.

And where's Obama? He continues on with his Everything You Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten Tour.

I wonder how long before the Obamabable One notices that "when they suffer economic setbacks, and then are condescended to by presidential candidates, many working class Americans respond by Photoshopping bigger ears onto the offenders."

Saturday, April 12, 2008

May As Well Weigh In

I think it's kind of funny that Obama and his ilk, I'm thinking John Kerry here, look down upon the "working class". Where does he get the altitude?:

Asked at that fund-raiser why his candidacy was struggling in Pennsylvania, Mr. Obama responded that many voters were “bitter” about their economic inequalities.

“So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or antitrade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations,”
It takes a special kind of arrogance to come up with the fantasy that we working-class respond to financial setbacks by huddling in our basement lairs, caressing our guns, and muttering about "tham homos and messicans". And why else would we "cling to religion"?

The religion bit is especially down-looky. Why do you cling to your religion, senator? Oh, that's right, you go to church but you don't ever listen to what is said there. "Imagine my surprise, I was just jumping up and banging my tambourine because everyone else was doing it. I didn't realize that Reverend Wright had just accused the Jews of flying planes full of AIDS virus into the World Trade Center."

These remarks were made to rich folk, who were, of course, standing around in tuxedos, men wearing monocles, the women with noses up-pointed, all sipping tea from bone china teacups, with pinkie fingers out-pointed. No? See, two can play at that game.

Anyway, the best response ever to the haughty:

I hope that somewhere a group of hunters, or a church group, is working on an Obama banner.

***Update: This will do for now:

Friday, April 11, 2008


Boo! Ha! Got you again. Hey, I'm going
to fly on ahead. See you at the airport.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Feeling Catholic, Looking Like a Druid

Or is it Looking Minnesota, Feeling California? Anyway, this makes me especially proud to be a Catholic convert:

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict will pray for the conversion to love "of those whose hearts and minds are consumed with hatred" when he visits New York's Ground Zero.....

That's what I'm talkin about. With all that's going on in the world today, the pope still has time to pray for the Democrats. Booyah! In your face, Seventh Day Adventists!

Thank You, Scientists

So, I have to wonder which I look like:

Whether you are looking for a long-term relationship or just a one-night stand may be written on your face for others to read, say researchers from Durham University (England), St. Andrews University (Scotland) and Aberdeen University (Scotland).
OK, quick, guess which is which:

That's right, one on the left: one-night stand. And on the right: one-night stand.

OK, How about these:

Very good, on the left: long-term relationship, and help with her chemistry homework. And on the right: long-term relationship, and starter repair on her Volvo.

Drinking Problem

This so reminds me of the kind of guys I hung out with at that age. This one so doesn't:

I'm sure you've heard about the kids who thought a brutal beating of an innocent would make a popular Youtube video. I vote for wiping the smirks from their faces. Also, I predict Youtube will eventually get sued for glorifying this kind of behavior. Good.

A Little Perspective

From David Freddoso over at NRO:

Comparing Labor Market Data in 1996 and 2008

Democrats on the Economy in 1996:

“Our economy is the healthiest it has been in three decades.” (President Bill Clinton, State of the Union Address, January 23, 1996)

Democrats on the Economy in 2008:

“The bottom line is that this administration is the owner of the worst jobs record since Herbert Hoover." (Senator Charles Schumer, Press Release, March 7, 2008)

Key Labor Market Statistics in 1996 and 2008
March 1996 March 2008
1. U.S. Unemployment Rate 5.5% 5.1%
2. Number of Long-Term Unemployed 1.33 million 1.28 million
3. Average Weeks Unemployed 17.3 weeks 16.2 weeks
4. Median Weeks Unemployed 8.3 weeks 8.1 weeks
5. Not in Labor Force because discouraged over job prospects 451,000 401,000
6. Democrats calling for Extended Unemployment Benefits? No Yes
7. President’s Party Affiliation Democrat Republican

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

OK, it's San Francisco, and they're protesting. Nothing new there.

But they're protesting communists. And it's San Francisco. They're protesting communists in San Francisco. Really.

Strange times.

But, BTW, I agree with the protest. I seldom approve of communists, I mean, they're crushing dissent in Tibet, that's what communists do. So I'm probably going to boycott the opening ceremony. Heck, I may not even go at all.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Rice Jumps to New Record...

It was Drudge's headline, my photoshop.

Is there anything this woman can't do?

Teddy Shows His Ignorance

Via NRO:


“Just to come back to a question that was asked earlier, Americans want to know, after we have spent approximately $24 billion in training Iraqi troops in five years, why we have — when these forces are going to be ready and willing to stand up and fight on their own, so the Americans do not have to fight for them, as we have seen with the 1,000 that have effectively deserted or left their units.”


“Senator, they are fighting and as I mentioned dying for their country in substantial numbers. Their losses, again, are some three times our losses of late. I might add that the Sons of Iraq losses are between two and a half and three times our losses in addition to that. So, they're very much fighting and they are very much dying for their country. They have indeed taken on the security tasks in a substantial number of provinces and they are shouldering more of the burden in a number of the others. Again, in Basra, there were not just the units that did not do well, there were also units that did do well, and some that did very well. Again, this is tough, tough combat, when forces are new and go into it they do bow at times before they steady, and we saw this in Basra and in some neighborhoods in Baghdad.”

Photo Op

Quick, get a baby into that man's hands. What? Unavailable? OK, Marsha, have them pass up the auxiliary baby. Use the auxiliary baby back-up if you have to. OK, good. Now, cue the fainters.


Here's four and a half minutes you won't want back:

(sound needed not so much)

Monday, April 07, 2008


I should resurrect the mega-ducks, maybe have them run amok (how else could they run?) at the Democratic convention. In the meantime, Dymphna sent along a link to the soon-to-be fatwaed:

Mohammad the rubber duck wrote a book called the Qu'ak-ran.

About That Housework Thing

Scientists again:

Having a husband creates an extra seven hours of housework each week for women, according to a new study. For men, tying the knot saves an hour of weekly chores.

"It's a well-known pattern," said lead researcher Frank Stafford, an economist at University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research......
Wait a minute. Getting married saves men an hour's worth of chores per week? For most guys, that would put them into negative numbers. Still, I wonder where the extra six hours comes from for women. Most likely, they need to work faster.

It's Monday

Take a seat in the lobby, someone will be with you shortly.

Obama Floats Above Us

"Levitation is nothing, it's just a hobby for me."

"Like cracking the human genome, I just
do it when there's nothing on TV."

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Charlton Heston

Can it be? Charlton Heston, gone? Ah well, he lived a long life, and he shot and ate lots of things. Plus, he seemed to upset all the right people. Oh, and he was Moses. A guy could be proud of half that resume.


One thing few people realize about Charlton Heston - the man was over twenty feet tall. They say when he laughed, the ground shook.