Tuesday, August 26, 2014

New Teacher Alert



So today was the first day of school for the middle-school math teacher known around here as Lumberkid. She's spent the last two weeks making sure her classroom was ready; doing way more work than I ever imagined was necessary.

So anyway, she is excited about her kids even though she knows some of them will be a challenge. And she's decided to ignore her dad's suggestions as to the best and most durable discipline-bats to use. She's going to rely instead on non kinetic discipline techniques.

When I was in school things were handled differently. The vice principal had a paddle the size of Rhode Island. It had nails sticking out at odd angles and it had been known to throw sparks when used properly. Early on the vice principal declared himself "wise to my shenanigans" and so daily beatings followed. But only till his arms got tired. And of course they stopped when I graduated, well almost. He followed me to my first few jobs out of high school but eventually he decided he couldn't afford the extra gas and paddle maintenance.

Anyway, I sure wish Lumberkid well. I know she'll be spectacular. I'm already proud.


8 comments:

Surellin said...

My father was a vice principal. He kept, at home, a paddle that he had BROKEN at school - it had a crack in it and was taped together. I was tremendously impressed by that paddle when I was little.

OregonGuy said...

Start with a No. 4 Clue Bat. They are, after all, just kids.
.

MAX Redline said...

Congrats to LK.

My teachers had pledge paddles with holes drilled through to minimize air resistance.

Gino said...

i had nuns swinging the paddles. humiliation, pain and wrath of God in one neat,tidy package.

citizenlurker said...

congrats to lumberkid, middle school math teachers are hard to come by - but you will find them lurking about... welcome welcome

when our school principle used her paddle-with-holes beginning each September, her window was open so the whole school could hear the results of the beatings...

c said...

principal - i am a math teacher but not an idiot... darn auto-correct (I'm going with it)

Anonymous said...

The vice principal was my dad's friend. The advantages were almost endless.

-Sweep the leg-

Veeshir said...

I went to Catholic School.
Nuns firmly believed in canalizing the cortex via aural and, if necessary, epidermal stimulation.

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