EZ Christmas Shopping through Amazon

Regarding Order # blah-blah-blah
qty: 4 of ASIN/ISBN: B00074USGU
"5 LED flashlight with batteries"

These flashlights arrived *without* batteries, one inoperative, one
intermittent, and one in a box with "He's Dead, Jim" handwritten on the
side. And the "He's Dead" one, obviously a return, had a pricetag from
"wiredco" for $10. 00.
OK, I understand the Christmas rush probably made things crazy around there
but you should never resell inoperative returns. I didn't see the "he's
dead, jim" writing when I wrapped this as a (late) christmas gift and so I
looked like a regifter of defective presents.
Considering the quality of these flashlights, I don't want to keep any of
them.
So what to do now? Can you send me 4 comparable flashlights, ones that
work, or should I return these 4 and void the sale?
thanks
-lumberjack

OK, Should have known better. But at $15, these looked like
great little-gifts. And manly enough so that I didn't feel gay giving
them to other guys. But man, cheap doesn't describe them. Put one
into the junk drawer and all the other crap would kick its butt, dental
floss, paper clips, and hair scrunchies included.

Border Security

According to U.S. officials thousands
of underage puppies are brought into
the U.S. for re-sale via the border crossing
stations annually. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

Not mentioned in the Yahoo story is the fact that these puppies
take the jobs of American born puppies and flat out refuse to
learn the language.

Greatest danger identified

Har

“More Iraqis think things are going well in Iraq than Americans do.
I guess they don’t get the New York Times over there.”
—Jay Leno

Cuteapolooza

From Cute Overload:

Now you can have cute everyday. (I used to have to use mirrors to
get my daily cute fix...)

Other Shoes Dropping

Who knows what will happen? Life is change. And doors don't only just
close; new ones open all the time.

Har, a goat farmer. I couldn't make this up.

Hmmm,

Modified this post because it's not good to talk about contracts out loud.
Except to say: lost the bid to a goat farmer? You've got to be kidding me, God.

Wimpy-wambly Snow

The huge storm turned out to be a wimpy kind of icy-sleety kind
of thing. Doesn't matter to me though, all my customers wimped out
on work today. Good.
Condolences to all who *are* buried in snow though. Maybe a snowman
would cheer you.

Blooming

100_2191, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

Peeking through the snow, nature abides.

Trial

Iraq the Model follows Saddam's trial:

The testimony in general was very touching that it forced the butchers to shut up for a long time and even when Saddam tried to act as if he were still in power he looked so stupid and foolishly arrogant in front of the suffering of the witness who finished his statement by saying “at age 15 I went to prison for 4 years with the rest of my family, seven of my brothers were executed and none of us got the chance to see a judge or get a fair trial’.

Warm up the wood-chippers.

Al Sharpton wants his own sitcom?

No, not from the onion:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - He has led civil rights marches, scolded the nation's leaders and even run for president, but the Rev. Al Sharpton now wants to do something completely different -- star in his own television sitcom.

Sharpton, in an interview with Reuters on Friday, confirmed a report in Daily Variety that he would soon be filming a pilot for a family show called "Al in the Family" that would revolve around his larger-than-life personality.

"I don't know if I am a good actor or not but I will be playing myself and I have been practicing that for 51 years," the New York Democrat and civil rights leader said.

Don't know if it's for real or not. If true, there's a pretty good chance
that his life up to now has not been a sitcom. Hard to swallow
it is.

Not My Bike

Not my snow yet either. Not even my city. And it's not me even. So, but it's
snow, and that's what they say we're getting. I'm ready for it. *

Limbo

Pope set to abolish limbo I say good. It always hurt
my knees anyway.

Surveys and Tests

For the wasting of time.

Common Sense

I always knew this.

Research: Expectations Can Help Healing
By LAURAN NEERGAARD, AP Medical Writer 44 minutes ago
WASHINGTON - Your medicine really could work better if your doctor talks it up before handing over the prescription. Research is showing the power of expectations, that they have physical — not just psychological — effects on your health....

My favorite? When sickly, I invest ice cream with the power to
do magical things. When not sickful, it's called preventative medicine.

Drudge Link

And they say Drudge only presents conservative news:

Study - Longer needles needed for fatter buttocks.

Flu shots

Saved $15 this year by getting the flu before I had a chance to get
the flu shot. At least I think it was the flu. Usually you don't
get the fever dreams, chills, and grim reaper wrestling match
with a regular cold. I still feel wimpish, though miles better than
those first two days. Suppose I'll do some light duty kind of work;
save the heavy chopping for another day.

Lost on the Autobahn

Another odd story from Ananova:

Professor stopped on motorway in wheelchair
An 'absent-minded' professor was stopped by police as he tried to drive 110 miles down a German motorway in his wheelchair.

Police stopped Wolfgang Hain, 67, on the A43 motorway near Herne in North Rhine Westphalia driving six mph in his electric wheelchair - in traffic travelling at speeds above 100 mph.

Hain told them he was going home to Vechta, more than 110 miles away, after visiting family nearby, and said he had already put five miles behind him.

The retired astronomy professor said that when he passed his driving test almost 50 years ago any vehicle had been allowed to drive on the motorway and he had not realised this had changed.

Officer Peter Feldkirch said: "He seemed a bit absent-minded but was fully aware of who he was and where he was going. But I'm not sure if he realised that it would take him 20 hours to get home."

Hain was given a fine and escorted to the nearest B road where he was allowed to continue his journey.

The odd part is that bit at the end. "A bit absent minded" so you send him off
on an adventure down the side roads?

Reactions to the Riots

I found a good summary of Arab and Muslim reactions to the rioting in France.
Two of the reactions were especially interesting:

Events Prove that Western Ideas Will Not Improve the Middle East
In an article in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyassa, titled "Freedom, Equality, and Fraternity are Not for All," columnist Dr. Khaled 'Awid Al-Jinfawi wrote: "This obvious failure of some of the immigrant societies in Western countries to integrate culturally and socially again sheds 'historical' light on the degree of success in implementing many Western ideas of progressivism, such as 'liberty, equality, and human fraternity,'... in the Middle East.

"If the ideals of equality, justice, democracy, human rights, and fraternity, which emerged in the West and were adopted by the French Revolution in the late 18th century, have not managed to eradicate poverty and inequality, and have even increased the marginality of the [immigrant] communities, deprived [them of] their rights, and denied them many opportunities in the economy, in education, and in development – then how can these ideas... improve the lot of many in the Middle East?..."

Well first off, it's a two way street. The immigrants have to want to assimilate
into their adoptive country. In the US many from the Middle East have taken advantage
of the offered 'liberty, equality, and human fraternity.' Others have not. In France, I'm not
entirely sure it has been offered. I suspect this next guy's got it right:

Leading Iranian Daily: "The Politicians of Paris Can No Longer Hide the Country's Ugly Face of Racist Discrimination"

The conservative Iranian daily Jomhouri-ye Eslami wrote in an editorial: "In addition to the historical claims to being defenders of human rights that the French have engraved on their brows, and in addition to the medal of pride they have awarded themselves for implementing democracy and freedom, the French politicians have tried to install their name at the forefront of the defenders of human rights in the world, and to [have France] renowned as the cultural center of Europe and of the world...

"The killing of two youths by the French police... ended the patience of the people who had for years suffered from the racist discrimination of this country [France]. And their quiet movement has now turned to overt and violent rebellion.

"engraved on their brows," I love it. It looks like the French are happy to pay
lip service to these high ideals but lose their conviction when it comes down
to doing the real work. Wasn't it the compassionate and caring French that
lost 15 thousand of their grandmas and grandpas to heat wave because the
kids were off on vacation and couldn't be bothered? "We take care of our
elderly, except, you know, when it involves doing things for them."
So yeah, maybe the French aren't providing a place at the table for
their Middle Eastern immigrants. What goes around, comes around, I guess.

Please say you made that up

More weird:

At 10 p.m. on Oct. 19, Ralph Parker, 93, in his Chevrolet Malibu, eased up to a tollbooth on Interstate 275 in St. Petersburg, Fla., inattentive to the fact that there was a dead body lodged in his windshield (the result of a collision about three miles away). According to police, Parker was off by about 10 miles when asked where he was and by two months on the date, and he thought the body had just fallen from the sky. Parker's son, 66, said he was aware his father had been deteriorating mentally, yet Parker's driver's license was renewed last year through his age 99, based on Florida's lax renewal policy (toughened for the state's 54,000 age-80-and-up drivers only by a vision test). (By contrast, for example, Florida requires 16 hours' training every two years for its licensed cosmetologists.) [St. Petersburg Times, 10-21-05]

Poor Soctty

Could there be a more ignominious way to be carried to your final resting place?

In life, James Doohan was the "Star Trek" engineer who worked miracles on the Enterprise, but a rocket meant to blast his remains into space has engine trouble.

A Falcon One rocket was to lift the ashes of Doohan, who played engineer Montgomery "Scotty" Scott aboard the fictional Starship Enterprise, into space next month but the launch has been delayed at least until February, organizers said Tuesday.

Well the rocket could have blown up on the launch
pad like our rockets used to do in the 60's. But of course it
doesn't come close to the worst, very worst, scattering
of ashes ever. (from the Big Lebowski)

Fast/Feast

So here it is, the holidays coming up and I've only just finished
taking off the weight I gained from last Thanksgiving/Christmas.
Though, my excuse is being a new Catholic, I got mixed up on the
feast-fast thing and spent something like 40 days stuffing myself
last Easter. OK, so I'll get it right next time.

Guess I'll do a turkey again this year, though I'm still not ready to
try deep-frying one. You hear these horror stories, you know? And
besides that, just the thought of 5 gallons of oil being brought up
to face melting temperatures makes me feel wimpish. Makes a guy
want to google "skin grafts" first. Yeah, maybe next year.

What else? oh, we sent the kid to school with the canned vegetables
for the Thanksgiving Food Drive. The usual stuff. Can't believe the
kid repeated the "well, I'm pretty sure poor people like okra" line to
her science teacher though. Me, I can't understand how it is we end
up with several cans of okra every year. It's not like anyone in this
house will eat the darned stuff. I can't think of anyone, rich or poor,
who would choose okra over anything else, even if they were gnaw-
off-your-own-arm starving. At least we've got food drives to help
get rid of the stuff. [and yes, *most* of what we donated was good stuff;
the okra was hidden at the bottom of the bag, sort of an after thought/
possible door stop]

Well, Che's dead so he's out

What will happen to Nightline?

Can anyone fill Koppel's shoes?
‘Nightline' revamps to stay relevant
By Peter Johnson
USA TODAY
NEW YORK — ABC's Nightline is about to begin a new chapter. Three anchors, not household names, are set to replace news legend Ted Koppel. And the show's trademark single-topic format cedes to a multi-topic one.

As Koppel closes in on his final Nightline broadcast Nov. 22, its future is in doubt...

New people, different format, the show will be gone is what they're saying. Which makes you
wonder who will go out searching for bitter Katrina victims now?
One thing you can say about Ted though; he usually has a good grasp of his subject matter.
I caught his show after the hotel bombings in Jordan and he had all the facts, how Jordan
has helped the US, how (most?) Jordanians were hostile towards the US, how supporting the
US effort brought all this on, etc. And almost Katrina-like he tried, unsuccessfully, to get a
Jordanian official to blame the US.
Best response, which Ted may have misunderstood, the ambassador said they would get to the
root causes of the bombing. He was referring to going after bad guys, and squashing them.
Refreshing it was.

It's Not Just France

It seems much of Europe is at risk:

Is Swedish Democracy Collapsing?
The number of ghettos, a phenomenon that until recently was unheard of in wealthy and egalitarian Scandinavian nations, has been increasing explosively. 14 years ago, there were only 3 such areas in all of Sweden. Today, there are 136. Stockholm politician Annika Billström warns against the dangers of creating ghettos in Sweden. Rock throwing and attacks against buses and trains are increasing problems in some suburbs....

scroll down

But the French...

Ah well, not good:

On Oct. 28, the French daily Le Figaro reported that Al Qaida-aligned cells have obtained SA-18s for attacks against French airliners. The daily said the cells acquired the missiles in 2002 from the so-called Chechen mafia.

Sure hope these are taken out of circulation soon*

Payback? Don't think so

From Bloomberg:

....Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Jordanian-born leader of Iraq's al-Qaeda cell,
said in a statement posted on the Internet that his followers carried out the attacks, Petra
reported without providing further details.

The Radisson SAS hotel, the Hyatt Amman and the Days Inn hotels had been ``turned
by the dictator of Jordan into a garden for the enemies of our religion, the Jews and
the Crusaders,'

Sure, if it weren't for Iraq, we'd all be as safe as Spain, or France, or Indonesia.

Har

Iowahawk
"Immigrant Parisian youths, enraged by lack of job opportunities and a growing shortage of flammable cars, tonight turned their wrath on another hated symbol of French cultural oppression - the accordion...."

Swelled?

Here's one you won't find every day, from Aftenposten:

Female rapist loses appeal
A Norwegian jury Tuesday upheld a lower court's conviction of a young woman found guilty of raping a male acquaintance.

The 24-year-old woman was earlier sentenced to nine months in prison for raping the man after a night on the town in January 2004.

She appealed the decision, and said when her trial began Monday that she was appalled by how the case had swelled, in her opinion, way out of proportion.

Funny?

I just read the Yahoo story to see if it was true that Al Franken was going to
run for political office. Reading this though, well, I'm not sure who he's
targeting as potential supporters:

Still, for Franken, a one-liner is never far away.

He skewers Republican leader Tom DeLay for saying proper medical care might have revived Schiavo as she remained in a vegetative state while politicians debated her fate.

"In other words, given proper treatment, there was no reason Terry Schiavo couldn't live out her lifelong dream of being a Rockette," Franken quipped.

That's what he quipped huh? Comic genius.

The French Plan

From YnetNews via No Pasaran:

“It’s business as usual,” Samy Ghozlan, head of the anti-Semitism vigilance bureau told EJP. “These communities are used to these daily assaults. It’s worrisome, but we fear the worst is still to come.”

“Now that the media decided to reduce coverage of the riots, the thugs may intensify the violence against the Jews, to regain media attention," he added.

French authorities advised Jewish security officials not to publicize their fears, as such declarations could encourage rioters to attack Jews and Jewish community buildings.

Ah, finally a plan. Keep a low profile and maybe you won't be attacked. Course the
only rule they need is the universal cop's rule. Rule is: cops win. No matter what
happens, cops win. Once that's established, it's easier on everyone, flicks and bad
guys alike. Hope the French sort it out soon. I really do.

almost forgot

Forgot to include a source for that quote:

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program.
He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."

-Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

DITSUM No. 044-02

Back in 2002 Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, a captured al Qaeda black-hat, claimed to have sent al Qaeda
members to Iraq to train in chemical and biological weapons. The CIA called him credible but noted
that he wouldn't know if the training had taken place. The DIA, turns out rightly, wasn't so sure Libi
had even sent them.

So Carl Levin got two paragraphs of DITSUM No. 044-02, a DIA report, declassified. The
important part:
""It is possible he does not know any further details; it is more likely this individual is intentionally misleading the debriefers," the February 2002 report said. "Ibn al-Shaykh has been undergoing debriefs for several weeks and may be describing scenarios to the debriefers that he knows will retain their interest."

What was the rest of the DIA report? Well, I'd assume that it contained Libi's claims. The two excerpted
paragraphs are all that Levin needed declassified. He didn't want the whole report because it would bring up
the question, "Why report his claims if you know them to be false?" Of course the DIA said it was
possible that he didn't know the details. They didn't *know* him to be a liar. And what about the
CIA report on Libi's claims? DIA wins this one over CIA but it's important to note that they said
"probably" false, not false with a certainty.

Maybe they should have been more bold. If they had denounced all of Libi's claims as lies, our
politicians wouldn't be caught out making statements such as these:

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program.
He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."

Bias

It's not a surprise that the mainstream media ignores all the good things happening in
Iraq, but there is very you can do to refute the media's defense that well, good news
doesn't interest people; we tell the stories that people want to hear. They've got not a
leg to stand on here though:

....he Times printed an excerpt from the letter — which Starr had intended to be read by his girlfriend in the event of his death — in which he wrote, "I kind of predicted this . . . A third time just seemed like I'm pushing my chances."

The Times stopped there, but the letter continued:

"I don't regret going, everybody dies, but few get to do it for something as important as freedom. It may seem confusing why we are in Iraq, it's not to me. I'm here helping these people, so that they can live the way we live. Not have to worry about tyrants or vicious dictators. To do what they want with their lives. To me, that is why I died. Others have died for my freedom, now this is my mark."

How could anyone pick that first part out and ignore the powerful, honest, and touching
second part? How could it be illustrated any more clearly? The NYT has an agenda.

But When Would You Drink It?

Mmmmm, coffee beer:

Coffee-beer

A drink somewhere between coffee and beer could soon be on the menu. Nestec, part of the Nestlé empire in Switzerland, has filed patents in every major market round the world on a "fermented coffee beverage" that pours and foams like beer, but smells of strong coffee and packs a concentrated caffeine kick.

The beverage is made in a similar way to beer, but fine-tuned temperature control stops the formation of ethyl alcohol. So the new drink could go down well with people who want a long tall pick-me-up while driving....

Poor Crab

More reasons for the internet to exist:
Crab learns physics lesson.

School Daze

One thing I'm good at is complaining. After visiting private high-schools this
weekend I was getting ready to gripe about the cost, but really, the one we
like best isn't the most expensive, and plus, we only have one kid to send, wow,
don't know how some people do it, sending several at a time, oh yeah, and
there's this:

VATICAN CITY -- "Barbaric." That's what the Vatican calls the beheading of three Indonesian schoolgirls who were attacked over the weekend as they walked to their Christian high school.
The head of one of the girls was left outside a newly built Christian church.
The attacks occurred on the Indonesian island where around 1,000 people have been killed in Muslim-Christian violence.

Kind of makes whining about expenses a lame pursuit. At least my kid will
come home each day with all her parts. [btw... it says 1000 dead in Muslim-Christian
violence. I wonder how many victims were Muslim?]

George

From the Report on the Manipulation of the Oil-for-Food Programme (27 October 2005):

V. OTHER POLITICAL BENEFICIARIES
A. GEORGE GALLOWAY
The Government of Iraq did not give preference to companies based in the United Kingdom in
determining oil allocations under the Programme. Nonetheless, a total of over 18 million barrels
of oil were allocated either directly in the name of George Galloway, a member of the British
Parliament, or in the name of one of his associates, Fawaz Abdullah Zureikat (“Fawaz Zureikat”),
to support Mr. Galloway’s campaign against the sanctions. Mr. Zureikat was a prominent
Jordanian businessman. Mr. Zureikat received commissions for handling the sale of
approximately 11 million barrels that were allocated in Mr. Galloway’s name.
Both Mr. Galloway and Mr. Zureikat have denied that Mr. Galloway was involved in obtaining
the oil allocations or receiving any proceeds from the oil sales. Each of them has acknowledged,
however, that Mr. Zureikat made large donations to the Mariam Appeal, a United Kingdom-based
campaign for the lifting of sanctions against Iraq. Mr. Galloway was the founder of this
organization. Mr. Galloway has denied that he was aware of the source of Mr. Zureikat’s
donations. According to Iraqi officials, another oil beneficiary, Burhan Al-Chalabi, also received
an allocation intended to benefit the Mariam Appeal. A portion of the profits from this allocation
was deposited into an account of Mr. Galloway’s wife, Amineh Naji Daoud Abu Zayyad, who
was also involved with the Mariam Appeal.

Alcohol

Here's a probably all too common video of what happens when
foolish young men get together with alcohol and a zippo. Turn down the
sound a little, some college boys scream like little girls when they catch fire.

Hitch

From Slate, no really:

Christopher Hitchens writes, "I added that I wanted no further contact with Galloway
until I could have the opportunity of reviewing his prison diaries."

Har, hurry the day.

Feel the Burn

I'm in favor of any exercise that begins with, "ok, lay on a comfortable surface"

UN Covering for the Bad Actors

From the Times Online (UK):

UN office doctored report on murder of Hariri
From James Bone in New York and Nicholas Blanford in Beirut

THE United Nations withheld some of the most damaging allegations against Syria in its report on the murder of Rafik Hariri, the former Lebanese Prime Minister, it emerged yesterday.
The names of the brother of Bashar al-Assad, President of Syria, and other members of his inner circle, were dropped from the report that was sent to the Security Council.

The confidential changes were revealed by an extraordinary computer gaffe because an electronic version distributed by UN officials on Thursday night allowed recipients to track editing changes.

The mistaken release of the unedited report added further support to the published conclusion that Syria was behind Mr Hariri’s assassination in a bomb blast on Valentine’s Day in Beirut. The murder of Mr Hariri touched off an international outcry and hastened Syria’s departure from Lebanon in April after a 29-year pervasive military presence.

Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, described the report’s findings as “deeply troubling”. Jack Straw, the Foreign Secretary, said: “It is an unpleasant story which the international community will take very seriously indeed.”

But the furore over the doctoring of the report threatened to overshadow its damaging findings. It raised questions about political interference by Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary- General, who had promised not to make any changes in the report.

Yet more evidence that the UN needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Florida

Looks like it's all happening pretty much south of my people. Keep your
heads down everyone.

Joan

Don't know why but Joan Rivers never much appealed to me. Maybe it's
that hoarse voice, or just her style. But good for her, for not getting PC
steamrolled. She stuck to her guns, good for her.

Which One to Pick?

I can't believe we're trying to pick a high school already. I swear it was just last
week I was taking the kid's picture and I had to put pillows on either side of
her to keep her from falling over. And it seems like yesterday she would stand
on tip-toe to see if she could reach the light switch yet. What the hell has
happened to time? My year in eighth grade took decades to get through. Hers
is racing past in a blur.
Anyway, what is this pick-a-high-school stuff? When I was a kid, there was one
high school and you went to it. It didn't matter if there was a fire breathing
bully, it didn't matter if you'd already ruined all four years with a never to be forgotten
zipper down in the first week. You went.
But I guess the old one-school option at least exempted you from all the
indecision and worry that the kid is going through now. Which one to choose?
The one with the drug problem, or clique central? And yikes, the bus rides can be
brutal in this area.
Ah well. Maybe a clear choice will jump out at us. I'd like a school that offers lots
of after school activities, angels in the hall, and constant monitoring of the boys.
It wouldn't hurt to have good teachers either.

Traffic

Do you ever feel good because it's other people who are stuck in traffic?
I almost headed north this morning, and I *would* have if I didn't have a
mountain of paperwork calling my name. Anyway, I just missed this:

BALTIMORE - Authorities closed one of two highway tunnels carrying traffic under Baltimore's harbor for nearly two hours Tuesday and partially shut the other because of a threat to detonate vehicles full of explosives inside the tubes.

The Baltimore Harbor Tunnel was closed and the Fort McHenry Tunnel was reduced to one lane of traffic in each direction, said Lt. Col. David Franklin of the Maryland Transportation Authority Police. The closures began about 11:30 a.m. and officers began reopening the tubes about 1:15 p.m.

"The safe thing right now is to allow these tunnels to reopen," said Chief Gary McLhinney of the transportation authority police.

Whew.

My Bad

Well not *bad* bad, just bad. I knew as soon as I saw this story that I was
one of the culprits. "Nebraska Weather Photos Passed Off As Hurricane Katrina"
Yup, but at least I admitted that I couldn't find who had taken them. Heck,
some people tried to sell them as their own work. Anyway, the photographer's site
is way cool. Check out the main page too. God sure makes some pretty weather.

Have petard, will hoist

From NewsBusters:

In a deliciously ironic twist of fate, shortly before airing a segment aimed at embarrassing
the Bush administration by suggesting that it had staged a video conversation between the
president and soldiers in Iraq, the Today show was caught staging . . . a video stunt.

Watch the video. It's hoot inducing.

And I was feeling energetic today

Started the day, well, almost peppy. Now reality catches up:

Stones tour with heart machine
The Rolling Stones have a heart machine reportedly backstage in case one collapses on their US tour.

Organisers have brought in a defibrillator, used to shock the heart back into a normal rhythm.....

"Hey man, Warren Zevon doesn't rock. Warren Zevon takes way more Digitalis than Robert Palmer.
Robert Palmer rocks."

Har

And speaking of the french:

Watch yourself in the showers

From the Guardian:

Ex-French U.N. Diplomat Taken Into Custody
Tuesday October 11, 2005 6:31 PM
By PIERRE-ANTOINE SOUCHARD
Associated Press Writer

PARIS (AP) - France's former U.N. ambassador has been taken into custody as part of an investigation into allegations of wrongdoing in the Iraq oil-for-food program, judicial officials said Tuesday.

Jean-Bernard Merimee, 68, who also was ambassador to Italy from 1995-98 and to Australia in the 1980s, is suspected of having received kickbacks in the form of oil allocations from the regime of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. He was also a special adviser to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan from 1999 to 2002.

Merimee was taken into custody on Monday, and is expected to be presented Wednesday to the judge leading the probe, the officials said on condition of anonymity because French law does not allow disclosure of information from judicial investigations.

Merimee was France's permanent representative to the U.N. from 1991-95. He was one of the world body's most prominent diplomats, in part because France occupies one of five permanent seats on the powerful U.N. Security Council.

So maybe I was wrong. I assumed that we didn't have France's support because they
were, for whatever reasons, unconvincible. Who knew they were for sale?

cool day

Man, what great weather to work in. This afternoon I had to wait a half
hour for my customer to show up and it didn't bother me one bit. I just
leaned against a fence and enjoyed being not-hot. Watching the birdies
was just a bonus.

bugs

Oh man, the prettiest kid in the world clicked on a link that brought a
world of infection to her computer. Spent till way late futzing around
with it. And this morning I have the thing running, well, sorta. Here's
the thing.... I let virus definitions lapse, and ok, so now I'd gladly
pay to re-up the antivirus subscription, but that would involve
sending credit card data over this computer. [which computer, for all I
know, is broadcasting my vacation pictures to every script-kiddie in
north america] Ah well, I should go make money. If this thing needs
further repair, well, there's no shortage of axes in the lumber camp.

Rain

And rain, and more rain.
And I've got lots of driving to do so I better motivate.
Wish I wasn't leaving the dogs on such bad terms though. Walking
past the pug on my way to get another cup of joe, I leaned over
to pet her. She's gurring with pleasure as I rub her stomach... then
WHAP! my cell phone slides out of my shirt pocket and bonks her in the
face. Poor pup. No amount of apologies worked. I may have to resort
to bologna baksheesh.

Sheep Giving

From Michael Yon, reporting from Iraq:

One time, the soldiers arrived at COP Eagle to deliver a sheep to the commander, LTC Ali Gharza, only to find him sleeping. So Kurilla told the Iraqi guards to be quiet, and he snuck the stinking sheep into the commander’s room, shutting the door behind it. When the Iraqi commander jumped from bed in a state of confusion, Kurilla and his men burst in and everyone got a hearty laugh. Another time, Kurilla took a sheep and plopped it right on Colonel Eid’s desk.

Eid’s men had done something sheep-worthy—I’ve forgotten what it was, but it almost certainly involved killing terrorists—and we headed to the market. I always thought we were going to get blown up at the sheep market. After shopping for the best sheep, Kurilla started seriously haggling over the price while Iraqi buyers led sheep away, putting them inside car trunks and driving away. All along I was thinking “let’s get outta this death trap!” After threatening to buy a sheep from the next guy if he didn’t get an honest price, finally the deal was sealed, and we loaded the sheep on the Stryker and headed over to 4-West.

On the wall behind Colonel Eid’s desk hang two rifles that had once belonged to terrorists killed by his men. Entering Eid’s office that day, Kurilla said, “Colonel Eid! I brought you a sheep, but this one is tied up to the tree outside.”

Eid smiled. The professional respect from another commander was worth mountains of future progress in Mosul, and so what happened next took everyone by surprise.

Kurilla smiled and said, “That’s a nice sheep. But it’s only for eating.”

I nearly fell mute. Did he really just say that? The interpreter said to Kurilla, “Excuse me sir?”

“You know what I said. Tell him the sheep is only for eating. It’s not a girlfriend. Translate it.”

That’s it. Kurilla’s lost his mind. I was ready to run for the door.

The interpreter hesitated. Then translated. Colonel Eid burst into laughter.

“I’m serious,” said Kurilla, “only for eating.” Since the two commanders were laughing, everyone who’d stiffened when they first heard the words now laughed. The commanders got down to business plotting how to kill more bad guys. But from then on, every time we delivered a sheep, even the police guards would yell down to us from behind their machine guns, “Only for eating!” and all would burst out laughing.

Good to know the ISF can appreciate a good sheep joke.

Attic Found

Howard Dean

The republican party has nothing to fear so long as the D's
just keep talking. Dean, from the Post:

In one eyebrow-raising moment, Dean invoked a crude phrase usually reserved for the locker room when urging Bush to make public Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers's White House records. "I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called," he said.

I know, it was just a slip of the tongue. Not a big deal.
But Dean's doofus-talk won't get the play it would have if an R had said
it. [me, I'm just happy it wasn't from the mouth of our Texan]
(via Tim Blair)

TV

Getting home late, I checked the cable guide to see if there was
anything interesting while I ate dinner. I found:
"Army of Darkness -- A modern day department store clerk time travels to
medieval England, where he does battle with his chainsaw and his '73 Oldsmobile...."
Man, I don't even have to watch it; I feel good just knowing that it exists.

Harry Potter

From Reuters:

LONDON (Reuters) - A British cleric and top-selling author of children's books was thrown out of a school where he said Harry Potter was "gay" during a talk to 12-year-olds.

Reverend Graham Taylor, who penned the novel "Shadowmancer" which, like the tales of the famous boy wizard created by J.K. Rowling, centers on witchcraft and battling evil, got his marching orders after teachers accused him of homophobia.

"As for Harry Potter, well, he's not the only gay in the village," Taylor told children at Penair School in Truro, southwest England, referring to a catchphrase from the popular British comedy TV show "Little Britain."

He also said villains in Rowling's blockbuster series were "wimps" and called TV "crap" compared to books.

Teachers stopped Taylor's talk and asked him to leave.

This was a cleric? Maybe he was put on tilt because the Rowling books are
so much more popular than his. Besides, everyone knows that
it's Malfoy who's gay.

What gives?

What is it with these guys who have to work the obscure word-of-the-day
into their blog posts. Do they think it will make us think they're brighter
than they really are? Me, I see little effulgence in the practice.

Clowns?

Another from Yahoo:

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A clown in the operating room may relax anxious
children who are about to undergo surgery...

Oh really? I've seen younger kids vibrate with clown-fear. I saw
one kid run right through the child gate, pulling the latch out of the wall,
in order to escape the clown. And who hasn't had to fish a kid out
from under the table at the first sign of Chuck E ? (who, really, is just
a clown with fur)

Agenda?

From an AFP story via Yahoo:

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Representative Tom DeLay, a powerful ally of President
George W. Bush, was indicted on a new charge of money
laundering as his lawyers moved to dismiss a previous
conspiracy indictment filed last week.

Come on, it's bad enough that the charges are bogus, is
this awkward attempt to link the two men necessary?

"Tropical Storm Tammy formed just off Florida's east
coast Wednesday, very much like Katrina, the storm
that President Bush has been accused of mishandling,
did."

Interesting

I'd heard about the Postsecret site, but I didn't know
the wife had been sending in postcards.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day

Arianna Huffington has got a piece: Huff Post Exclusive: Judy Miller's $1.2 Million Book Deal...
And it's sub-headed: "Making Faux Martyrdom Pay: Judy Miller Lands a Book Deal"
Good to see someone on the left is also able to recognize stupid
grandstanding when they see it.
Darn, wonder why I just can't seem to link to the huffie-post, oh yeah, it's
because I'd rather not.

Off to Meet the Probate, err... People

I was going to say probate pukes but I realize it's not their fault
that probate rivals root canal on my favorite things list. It's just that
it's their arena and and I'm only a guest gladiator. They could quit
sending in lions but I've quit expecting help from employees of the
state. I imagine I am making progress, maybe.

Don't hold your breath kofi

From Business Week concerning the UN's desire to take control of the internet:

One proposal that countries have been discussing would wrest control of domain names from the U.S.-based Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, or ICANN, and place it with an intergovernmental group, possibly under the United Nations.

Gross [our rep from State Dept.] dismissed it as unacceptable.

Yeah, we want Libya and China to vote on internet policy.

Some countries have been frustrated that the United States and European countries that got on the Internet first gobbled up most of the available addresses required for computers to connect, leaving developing nations with a limited supply to share.

They also want greater assurance that as they come to rely on the Internet more for governmental and other services, their plans won't get derailed by some future U.S. policy.

Very good point. That's why we, who already rely on the internet for governmental,
business, and financial services, don't want to, and won't ever, cede control.

And from Yahoo:

BEIJING (Reuters) - China set new regulations on Internet news content on Sunday, widening a campaign of controls it has imposed on other Web sites, such as discussion groups.

"The state bans the spreading of any news with content that is against national security and public interest," the official Xinhua news agency said in announcing the new rules, which took effect immediately.

The news agency did not detail the rules, but said Internet news sites must "be directed toward serving the people and socialism and insist on correct guidance of public opinion for maintaining national and public interests."

Suuuuurre, give *them* a say in how the www is run.

I know what I'm going as

It's almost October. You know what that means.

Look at that smile. The next-year-you-get-someone-else smile.
The suit comes in kid sizes too, you know, if you're too busy or
tired to beat up your kid yourself and you want the neighbor
kids to do it for you.

No caption needed

From Yahoo, at a Red Sox game:

Haven't watched much ball since the Orioles did their self-destruct thing.
Leaves more time for Lost at least. Though I'm not sure I'm up to
speed on it yet.

giraffekiss

giraffekiss, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

OK, one more cup of coffee, another
giraffe kiss, then I'm gone.

Yawnapalooza

For the last year or so I've refused to do the overnight odd jobs
that my customers come up with. The money is good, but work the
next day can just be miserable. Well, yawnfull at least.
So I don't why I said yes to working last night. I guess they
caught me at a crazy moment. Anyway, so I did do a night shift
last night, and yeah, I'm too old for this.

But what a hoot driving home was. I had forgotten that this guy
could be so entertaining. Not so entertaining that I'd get up at 3:00 AM
to listen, but if you're already up in the middle of the night you'd be hard
pressed to find a funnier group of crazy people. I guess the fun part is trying
to figure out who's nuts and who's just goofing.

So, yawn, I better go chop trees. Have a fine one.

This Can't Be, Right?

From Yahoo:

PARIS, (AFP) - Terror suspects detained in France had been eyeing up the Parisian metro network, an airport and the headquarters of the domestic intelligence service as possible targets, sources close to the investigation said.

The suspicions were based on an intelligence tip-off from Algeria and from telephone surveillance, although there is no hard evidence they had settled on a particular target, they said.

But France isn't *in* Iraq. What gives?

Remember Ted?

No, Koppel, not the other one:

I’ve heard you say during the course of a number of interviews that you found out about the convention center today. Don't you guys watch television? Don't you guys listen to the radio? Our reporters have been reporting on it for more than just today. . . .

Sure, there were glitches in the federal response. But is response by TV
really the the way to go? "Get more water trucks on the road, Larry King says
the convention center has run out." or "Oprah says we need snipers on the
roof tops. (and also more glazed hams)" From the LA Times:

BATON ROUGE, La. — Maj. Ed Bush recalled how he stood in the bed of a pickup truck in the days after Hurricane Katrina, struggling to help the crowd outside the Louisiana Superdome separate fact from fiction. Armed only with a megaphone and scant information, he might have been shouting into, well, a hurricane.

The National Guard spokesman's accounts about rescue efforts, water supplies and first aid all but disappeared amid the roar of a 24-hour rumor mill at New Orleans' main evacuation shelter. Then a frenzied media recycled and amplified many of the unverified reports.

"It just morphed into this mythical place where the most unthinkable deeds were being done," Bush said Monday of the Superdome.

His assessment is one of several in recent days to conclude that newspapers and television exaggerated criminal behavior in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, particularly at the overcrowded Superdome and Convention Center.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune on Monday described inflated body counts, unverified "rapes," and unconfirmed sniper attacks as among examples of "scores of myths about the dome and Convention Center treated as fact by evacuees, the media and even some of New Orleans' top officials."

Sheehan glut

Seems like the only thing there's more of on TV than Cindy Sheehan is those
No Limit Hold-Um tournaments. Cindy even beats out the Bicker While You Build
Motorcycles Shows.
Anyway:

Police warned them three times that they were breaking the law by failing to move along, then began making arrests. One man climbed over the White House fence and was quickly subdued by Secret Service agents.

Sheehan, 48, was the first taken into custody. She smiled as she was carried to the curb, then stood up and walked to a police vehicle while protesters chanted, "The whole world is watching."

No they're not.

Story

Here's a heartwarming story. It's about a puppy-dog
who had a bowl of ice cream. Well, sorta. If by "puppy-dog" you mean, "a bunch of
Norwegians." And if by "bowl of ice cream" you mean, "got into a street fight with
those annoying Swedes."

From the trunks

odp01, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

One of the best dogs that ever was. (on the right)
He could sit like that forever, and he could talk.

And how did you learn about our company?

Glad I don't need to advertize, though this probably would fit my budget.

Rita

I'll be praying for all the people caught up in Rita, and Katrina, and
especially for those caught up in both. [What a thing, to escape New
Orleans only to have Rita chase you out of Houston as well. If it
was me, I'd make Kansas my next destination... oh wait, the tornados]

But what of those people, even some scientists, who are saying that
global warming is causing more hurricanes, or making the ones we have
more intense? I just read from the Independent:

Although the overall frequency of tropical storms worldwide has remained broadly level since 1970, the number of extreme category 4 and 5 events has sharply risen.

Then I went to NOAA, which is why I never get any real work done, and see why
they only go back to 1970. Because going back further completely blows the assertion.
Intellectual dishonesty bites.

Nightline

I finally saw part of that nightline segment, and read the transcript.
Amazing, listening to Reynolds say everything he could think of
to try and get a Bush-blew-it reaction. What a hoot.

The other Ted

Ted Turner shows his intellect:

Blitzer: "But this is one of the most despotic regimes and Kim Jong Il is one of the worst men on Earth. Isn't that a fair assessment?"

Turner: "Well, I didn't get, I didn't get to meet him, but he didn't look, in the pictures that I've seen of him on CNN, he didn't look too much different than most other people."

weird

From News of the Weird this week:

Elijah Walker, 35, who pleaded guilty to cocaine possession in Cincinnati in June, resisted complying with the state requirement that he also give up a DNA sample, in that he feared the state would use it to create a clone of him. (Said the prosecutor, reassuringly, "I'm not sure the state really wants another Elijah Walker.") [Cincinnati Enquirer, 6-30-05]

Har.

deer-headlights

deer-headlights, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

In the discotheque. No, really.

Fiction as News

Remember how dramatic Aaron Broussard was? Compelling story
except for being untrue.

Monday

Man, is it ever Monday. I had a full day's work before the phone
started ringing. And darned people don't realize that some days
I just don't want to hear from them, well, if they're in the exact opposite
direction from where I'm going. I'd rather they hold off doing
stupid things with their machinery until I'm back in their area.

Ah, foo, ok I better git. Work will be a nice break from what I did
this weekend. (I sorted through basement memories in the folks old
house, my old house, the house I partly grew up in) Lots of things
brought back memories, but lots of things had to be thrown away. And
what if I toss out a brother's boy scout badge, or a sister's favorite
baton? So it was melancholy mixed with winnowing, categorizing with
recollections on top. My mind still hums from the shifting of mental
gears. I envy those with only one gear; obsessed people expend almost
no energy above the neck. Which is why Michael Moore must sleep
like a (big) (slobbery) baby.

Update: Ha, day went well. They always do when you start
them with a little jab at Michael Moore.

Taibbi

Wondering who this guy is who's been vouching for Sean Penn's heroics, I've googled
Taibbi and read some of his stuff. And yes, he *is* anti-Bush, but one thing he wrote
in a Rolling Stone article surprised me:

There are times when American politics seems like little more than two groups in a fever to prevent each other from trespassing upon their respective soothing versions of unreality. At one point at Camp Casey, an informal poll taken around a campfire revealed that six out of a group of ten protesters, selected at random, believed that the United States government was directly involved in planning the 9/11 bombings. Flabbergasted, I tried to press the issue.

"Do you know how many people would have to be involved in that conspiracy?" I said. "I mean, start with the pilots . . ."

"The planes were flown by remote control," a girl sitting across from me snapped.

Six out of ten? I'm investing in Reynolds Aluminum.

Batter Up!

Dana Milbank via Drudge points out the baseball metaphors in the Roberts hearings:

``I'll start out by pitching you something of a softball,''

``You hit a home run yesterday,''

``it's my job to call balls and strikes and not to pitch or bat.

etc.
So where's my favorite: "no matter how nicely things started out, who didn't
know the Orioles would suck by September," ?

Katrina

432905CC000AF2920000475522007510909C050C019D0198010D, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

I got this in an e-mail and was struck by the beauty, well, and power.
This is supposed to be a Florida view of Katrina. I got no info with the pic, so
I'll just credit some-guy-with-a-camera. Good job guy-with-a-camera.

Rain

I quit early due to rumors of rain and generally bad traffic. I always tell myself
that I'll do office work when I quit early like this, but usually with no more
conviction than Ted Kennedy has with his abstinence pledges. Today I might get
some stuff done though; depends on how interesting the netnews is.

I'll tell you what, the Drudge headline: "Onlookers horrified as Michael Jackson is
spotted at a Dubai water park - wearing a skin tight all-in-one Lycra suit..."
is one I can wait for further details on. Truth is, I'm not clicking on the link only
because there might be a picture. Some things you just can't unsee.

Attn: P&G

From the Guardian:

A Chinese cosmetics company is using skin harvested from the corpses of executed convicts to develop beauty products for sale in Europe, an investigation by the Guardian has discovered.
Agents for the firm have told would-be customers it is developing collagen for lip and wrinkle treatments from skin taken from prisoners after they have been shot. The agents say some of the company's products have been exported to the UK, and that the use of skin from condemned convicts is "traditional" and nothing to "make such a big fuss about".

And buried in the article, in case you thought it couldn't get any more icky,
is the news that the same company is researching the use of aborted babies in their
beauty products.

Competition

Sean Penn gets tough with members of Oprah's crew who
were trying to rescue "his" victim.
"Back off! I saw him first."

Sean prevailed, explaining, "There's nothing in
the world as ominous as the sound of a 12 gauge
jacking in a fresh cartridge."

Sean the selfless

So Yahoo says Sean did pull people from the water:

"I witnessed him rescuing up to 40 people," presidential historian and author Douglas Brinkley told the New York Daily News. "He was up to his waist in toxic muck...I'm not going to comment on Sean's trips to Iraq or Iran, but in this case, he was an American hero."

On CNN's Larry King Live, Penn, 45, said he was just another person watching Hurricane Katrina coverage on TV, except owing to the fruits of his Oscar-winning fame, "I could afford to get on an airplane and get down there."

"It became easy to get out, for me to get a boat, and get out on the water with some other people, and try to get people out of the water," Penn said.

Alright, did he? Maybe, but it's hard to think that his motives were selfless. Why have
three people crew a bass boat is pretty much overloaded with five? I really would have been impressed if the
story had gotten out that he toiled anonymously.
and update: turns out the two "friends" were both [biased] journalists.. I knew I recognized Taibbi's name from
somewhere. I revert back to my screw-you-sean stance on the whole matter.

Sean, Where Are You Buddy?

Just a by the way, did anyone see Sean Penn come *back* from his mission?

Almost a Volunteer

It's no great distinction but we were able to get 5 bags of clothes to
the evacuees before the Armory quit accepting clothes. And I say it's no
big thing because everywhere I look people are clamoring to offer help.
I think wanting to help and giving money is the norm, it's no exception.

And I even looked into whether my skills might be of some use to the
effort. (they weren't) So what I'm doing, I'm just cutting down trees at
random in the "spirit" of pitching in. I have had to be careful in picking
which trees to fell because some of the homeowners in whose yards these
soon to be ex-trees reside have expressed dismay at my volunteerism.
The other, non-complaining, homeowners most likely weren't home at
the time.

Poor Performance

Maybe President Bush did make bad decisions in response to the
Katrina disaster. When Blanco couldn't pull the trigger and authorize
federal control, maybe Bush should have rolled over her and taken
control. [Of course the stupid 13% would have had a ball with that]
Instead Bush let the incompetent state and local team fail first.
From the NYT:

Aides to Ms. Blanco said she was prepared to accept the deployment of active-duty military officials in her state. But she and other state officials balked at giving up control of the Guard as Justice Department officials said would have been required by the Insurrection Act if those combat troops were to be sent in before order was restored.

In a separate discussion last weekend, the governor also rejected a more modest proposal for a hybrid command structure in which both the Guard and active-duty troops would be under the command of an active-duty, three-star general - but only after he had been sworn into the Louisiana National Guard.

Ah well. Let the shrill 13% run off half-cocked. It's evident that the (D) state
and local officials dropped the ball, first by failing to do their best with the
evacuation, then by blocking the Red Cross trucks, then by crying for more federal
aid while at the same time throwing up roadblocks to it's use.

School

I should have known the kid was looking for support when she said, "The music
teacher thought I was talking in class, and she made a mistake, and I was only
singing but she thought it was talking..." [a problem Bob Dylan also had]

So I says, "Gee, I hope we can keep her from making that mistake every week
this year," sorta a joke, really. Anyway, I stuck my foot in it and caused the first
school tears of the year. So I'll have to make some you-know-I-love-you-always
pudding tonight.

Fact? Or another hoax?

Who would make such things up? From the Guardian:

There were two babies who had their throats slit. The seven-year-old girl who was raped and murdered in the Superdome. And the corpses laid out amid the excrement in the convention centre.
In a week filled with dreadful scenes of desperation and anger from New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina some stories stood out.
But as time goes on many remain unsubstantiated and may yet prove to be apocryphal.

It sure was picked up by the media and reported as gospel though.

And while many claim they happened, no witnesses, survivors or survivors' relatives have come forward.
Nor has the source for the story of the murdered babies, or indeed their bodies, been found.

Could this be another cannabalism story? Was there rioting and unchecked violence?

Similarly when the first convoy of national guardsmen went into New Orleans approached the convention centre they were ordered to "lock and load".

But when they arrived they were confronted not by armed mobs but a nurse wearing a T-shirt that read "I love New Orleans".....

Here kitty-kitty

All the cute kitty pictures you could ever want.
Would that it were puppies, but cute anyway.

Katrina

Thank goodness, it looks like, with the help of Sean Penn, we've started to make
some headway getting the victims of Katrina to higher ground. What a guy, taking
only one photographer and one assistant so that the boat would have room for
a victim. (and there might even have been one, some places are reporting) Sean said
he spent 9 hours doing it, what a guy. Imagine what the save-count would have been
if he had just been able to start the motor.

I'm just pleased as can be with how our celebrities are handling all this. Travolta,
oprah, penn... pitching in with no thought whatsoever for themselves, selflessly
putting their noses to the grindstone, making sure their good side was towards the
camera possibly, but nose to the grindstone as well.

more..

100_2097, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

Brrrr...

Swimming under the falls

100_2110, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

Cold? You bet. But a nice way to end the last few
days before school. Now it's glue sticks, protractors, and a book bag the size of a healthy buffalo.

Good News Too

Cherenkoff has another round-up of good news from Iraq.
This is the information you can hear about from people who were there. In fact within
three months of us going in, there were good stories to be told. But the people who
make their living bringing us the news have decided that these stories have no value.

Ah well. Now the media will shift their spotlight to trying to blame a hurricane on the
president. Let them blame. They still haven't noticed that he isn't running for reelection.

Making Paper

I wonder how many trees get turned into paper each year just to satisfy
the government's fondness for reports?

That's what I'm doing today, paperstuff. I would put it off longer but the
Registrar of Wills, completely clueless as to how things are done in this
lumbercamp, is talking about court appearances if I don't get a report
turned in. Sheesh. I do have a defense; the instructions for composing
this "account" are pretty vague. Turning me loose on a report without clear
instructions on what it is to include is pretty reckless on their part. I only
have a first draft at this point, but twice already I have had to stop myself
from going into how having dogs has impacted my ability to produce an
accurate accounting of the estate. (well, one was my usual, "the dog ate my
homework," excuse... and that one may reappear in the final draft)
Anyway, this has to get finished today because we'll be going to the lake
for a last kid-fling before school starts. Probably be gone until next
Wednesday.

Protest?

That's odd. On Drudge Report there's a story about protesters confronting
soldiers at Walter Reed Army hospital. The odd part is that you can't get to the
hospital unless you have a good reason to be on the base. There's an ID check,
and often a vehicle search. Something fishy sounds.

Update: Ah... It was at the medical center. The hospital is further up in Maryland.
OK, so that's believable. Also believable is that these kind and gentle liberals would
taunt wounded soldiers.

And more:
Came across this while searching technocrati on the Walter Reed story:

Thibeault, 22, of Riverside, Calif., spent about seven months at Walter Reed after his left hand was blown off by a grenade that was tossed into the Humvee he was driving through a crowded marketplace in Kandahar, Afghanistan, on Dec. 3, 2003. Thibeault, an Army specialist with the 110th Military Intelligence Battalion of the 10th Mountain Division out of Fort Drum, N.Y., grabbed the grenade and tossed it under his seat. He said the grenade had a seven-second fuse, and just about the time he got it under the seat, it exploded, ripping off most of his hand and cutting up his legs with a shower of shrapnel.

His reaction was purely logical. "My buddy didn't see it, and so that's why I grabbed it. My thought process was, if it crossed over my body as I threw it out the window, it might have killed me and my buddy. If I threw it out into a crowd on the side of the road, it would have killed innocent women and children, and we would have all kinds of bad propaganda." So he ditched it under his seat, and when he pulled up his arm, his hand was pretty much gone except for his little finger. He kept driving with the hand he had left, getting himself and his buddy to safety and treatment.....

The article is about the problems faced by Thibeault in getting on with his life. It's a
situation that many wounded veterans must face. Thinking about it though, as hard as it
is to imagine that there are people in this country that would like to make that job
harder for Victor and his fellow wounded soldiers, aren't they really just gnats
to guys like these? I'm even thinking that the protesters ought to watch their step; guys
this tough can still slap them snottless, with one hand or two.

Lance

Great googily-moogily, those French are cheesed-off at Lance for taking the Tour
de France so many times. It's funny to watch, really, as now they try to spin again
that he couldn't have beat them fair and square. Anyway, this is the quote that
really tickled me:

Leblanc [director of the Tour] suggested that in the future, urine samples
could be stashed away for future testing as detection methods improve — another possible
weapon in the fight against doping.

"We're so tired of doping that all means are good as long as they are morally acceptable,"
he told L'Equipe.

"morally acceptable" to a Frenchman? I'd say the field is wide open then.

Finally Cooler Weather

and I'm stuck doing paperwork.... If anyone ever asks if you'd *like* to administer
an estate, tell them sorry, you don't speak english. Sheesh, it gets tedious. And it's
not helped by realtors, stock brokers, and accountants who all want a piece of the pie.
Thankfully, they aren't all crooks. And the people at the county Registrar
of Wills office are helpful, well, except that they're going to make me go to court
if I don't complete these forms in time. They obviously are unaware of how things
are done in lumberjack land. We wait until the sheriff is at the door.

Ah well, good news is, just one more form, then an amended form, and I'll be
caught up. I might even go out to work today... and leave the paperwork until tonight.
(late) Or maybe tomorrow...

See how it is?

Double Half-Calf Latte

A short that captures where this whole coffee thing is going.
Looking around the site, looks like most are ok for work, though they all have sound.

Mmmmm...

I wouldn't lead you astray. Best eaten when nobody else is home, so as
to avoid the inevitable "What's all that moaning about?" questions.

Top of the World, Ma

bellrock, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

Where she belongs.

at the bottom

!glugglug, originally uploaded by lumberjack.

At the bottom, giving the international, "the anbulances
won't be needed" signal.

Time Waster

Here's a great time waster if you get the time.
First catch, then throw paper into the trash can. It took soooo long to learn how to throw.
Turns out short throwing motions are best... [and don't expect to see my name on the high-scores]

Wet Day

But at least the rain has cooled things off.
So I'm doing kid transport and then real work. I kind of feel blah-ish about
the real work... taking time off sort of poisons the work ethic thing. Still,
I know I'll feel more enthusiastic once I get out there with a chainsaw, destroying
mother nature. Watch out birdies, look out squirrels, your houses are coming down.

Update: The squirrels and birdies get an el passo. Rained out I was.

Air America

Har. Still waiting for them to relegate Rush Limbaugh to the trash heap with
their edgy, smirky, cutting, humor, and ratings, and cash stolen from disadvantaged
youths.
Great coverage, by the way, of the scandal/misunderstanding on The Radio Equalizer.
I say misunderstanding because I'm sure there must be a good explanation as to why the
honest and fair people at Air America *still* haven't paid back the youths.

Update:
I'll put the link up here, from the comment:

This Sunday evening at 9pm est Brian Maloney of The Radio Equalizer will be our guest on Pundit Review Radio. Brian will get us up-to-date on the latest developments in the ever expanding Air America Radio scandal. Here is a link announcing his appearance.

You can stream the show live at WRKO.com and call us with questions at 877.469.4322

Too hot

I don't know if it's too hot for most people but I decided it was too hot for me today.
I'll do paperwork, well, as soon as I'm through reading about the latest scandals on
the www. Speaking of which, I see Eminem is cracking up. Who could have predicted
that? Well, if he quits touring, that will give him more time to comment on world events.
Sure hope he's not on our side.

While You Were Out

I buy parts from these guys every once in awhile.
And while I've never had a problem with their products, I often regret ordering from
them. Why?

Yesterday an investigator was here getting my information for a friend's security clearance. Just
a standard thing in these parts. So as I was answering her questions, I noticed her looking
at my while-you-were-out sticker from UPS. It was sitting there on the table to remind me to
leave a check for my C.O.D. parts. And after noticing her glance at it several times, I realized
why. It was from Assembled Products, and it asked me to leave a check for something like
$228.00. But the UPS guy didn't have time to write out "assembled products." He abbreviated it, as
they always do as, "ass prod". So I'm trying to convince this investigator that my friend
is of good character... but I'm sitting there with the paperwork for a package for $228 worth of
ass prods. Lord only knows what was going through her head.

I racked my brain for an innocent way to comment on the sticker, "Oh, that reminds me that I must
leave a check for these perfectly innocent ass prod parts...." But I knew from a lifetime of being
misunderstood that there was nothing I could say that wouldn't make it worse. I was just happy
that the UPS guy didn't show up with my [huge] box of parts while she was there.

They should get out of Iraq

Oh wait, they aren't in Iraq.

DHAKA (AFP) - More than 250 small bombs exploded within an hour of each other across Bangladesh, killing two people and injuring 50 in an unprecedented attack initially linked to a banned Islamic extremist group.

The bombs, which killed a man and a 10-year-old boy, exploded in almost all of Bangladesh's 64 towns and cities including the capital Dhaka, between 10:30am and 11:30am (0430 and 0530 GMT), the Home Ministry said in a statement on Wednesday.

And the beheaded Budists of southern Thailand don't seem to be in Iraq either. Wait, and
the biggest bomb plot in Spain (the thwarted one) was after the Spanish government
did their little-girl act and ran from Iraq with their tails between their frail Spanish legs.

Could it be that these wild eyed evil curs are just psyco? Could it be that the world will
have to live with terrorists until their will is broken or the worldwide caliphate is in place?
You bet, and I vote to break their will.

Cindy Sheehan

What an easy thing to ignore. Not because you could find many more
mothers of war dead that disagree. Not because she repeats the silly
it's-for-the-oil nonsense. Because she's embarrassing herself and the
polite thing to do is look away.

Early early early

I sort of half suspected that the reason I couldn't find Air America on
my radio dial was that it came on early in the morning, maybe opposite
the farm reports and public service announcements. But I've been getting
up with the squirrels for a week now and I still can't find it. From what I've
heard they haven't aired anything funny yet, but I would like to hear them
at least once before they fade away. Course, now there's this:

Here's what is known thus far. On Friday,
Air America confirmed that last year it did in fact take
money from a city-funded nonprofit that runs programs
in the Bronx for children and Alzheimer's sufferers....

You won't find any major media covering it yet, maybe it won't ever make the
Washington Post. I start to suspect that Air America will be like that Segway
thing, something you hear about a lot, but nobody's ever seen.

Fit Crazy Guys

I searched for a michael moore or ted kennedy jogging picture but no such luck. I'll bet
michael's running is confined to short sprints to the refrigerator. Ah well. Again today, sloth
will be my watchword. I'll go to work but take it easy. Probably end up as tired as Oprah's
goat regardless.

Fit Lumberjack

Whew. In keeping with the not-overdoing-it plan, I quit early today.
Still, I ended up the kind of hot and sweaty you usually can't find without
going into Oprah's back jean pockets on horseback riding day.
All in all, it wasn't so bad. Now, like ewan, I rest.

Fit President

Isn't it amazing how, out of 100 photos, they'll always go with the one fluke
that makes the Prez look like he's getting an unseen electrical shock?
Anyway, it's good to hear he's [amazingly] fit. I'm [amazingly] not, so I took it easy
today.

Stumble-mutter-yawn

Looks like I'll be up early all week... driving the world's loveliest vacation
bible school helper to her post.
[yawn]

Video

Wish I was a kid again with time enough to make a movie about
balancing rocks. One of those concepts that doesn't sound interesting
but really is. [has sound]

Amish Amuck

Just when I thought it was safe to return outside:

Amish Teen Charged With Stealing Numbers
The Associated Press
Tuesday, July 26, 2005; 4:57 PM

HUNTSBURG, Ohio -- Callers complaining about loud music coming from a buggy led deputies to charge a 19-year-old Amish man with stealing house numbers and flower pots. David Byler was charged with theft and underage consumption of alcohol, both misdemeanors.

Callers to the Geauga County sheriff's office told dispatchers early Sunday about a buggy playing loud music and stealing items from outside houses in a rural area of northeast Ohio.

"When our officer caught up with him in the middle of the road, there were flower pots and house numbers in the buggy," sheriff's spokesman John Hiscox said.

Cool water

From ananova:

Thief 'drinks' work of art
An artist's latest work - a bottle of melted Antarctic ice - may have been stolen and drunk by a thirsty thief.

Artist Wayne Hill filled a two-litre clear plastic bottle with melted ice to highlight global warming.

But the artwork, valued at £42,500, went missing while on display at a literary festival, reports the Scotsman.

Entitled Weapon of Mass Destruction, it vanished halfway through the Ways with Words festival at Dartington Hall, Devon.

Sounds crazy, that the art world has come to this. On the other hand, it's
good to know I have about £ 250k worth of art sitting in the refrigerator door.

Dr. Vitruvian

making appointments... man it can be work sometimes
Beats being out in the sun though.

Quote

for today-

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"
*Homer Simpson

oh, and this one too-

"If it weren't for Alcoholics Anonymous, I'd still be sucking the juice out of glowsticks."
*Barney

Why Rhetoric Matters

Who didn't expect that there was a link between the left's
inflammatory rhetoric and terror?

Senator Kennedy, captain of the swim team, and motivator for this man:

Coke Tux

"Yeah, I made my prom tux out of coke cans... because I'm just that cool..."

Detailed instructions on site.

Well darn, the kid became so popular that he's hit site traffic restrictions. Maybe the link will work tomorrow.
Looks like a cooler day today... though the weatherwoman says it will get
up to 97™. Well, not 97™....try 97¶, nope 97§, or 97º yeah 97º. whew, now I'm
exhausted. Looks like it will cool off later in the week. Down to a high of
82* on wednesday. Thanks be to goodness.

Fish Popsicles

Mmmmmm. Icy cold-blooded aquatic vertebrates.

Here Ya Go

So many people end up here after searching for the term "lumberjack," I thought
I should post at least one image. Here's what a real lumberjack looks like: