Memorial Day 2010

MM

Kim Jong Conditions

via

Seahorse Unicorn Rest in Peace

President Obama examines the remains of "possibly the last
seahorse unicorn in the Gulf of Mexico." He explained the
life cycle of the creature and lamented the fact that the previous
administration ignored threats to their Gulf breeding grounds.

When I was a kid I heard stories about how the seahorse unicorn would try to help drowning sailors. Like the porpoise off Padre Island, the seahorse unicorns would "nose" the victims up onto the beach. Unlike the porpoise though, the seahorse unicorns have horns, and the rescues would often end badly.

Hope Your Fires Go Better

If you pay attention to the background you can hear:
1) One idiot chanting "more gas, more gas, more gas..."
2) One sober non-idiot citizen warning, "Jay-zuz Scotty!" before the ignition, and, "whoa, whoa, whoa..."
3) Everyone amazed that Scotty doesn't distance himself from the flaming container. "throwit, throwit, throwit..."
4) Several kids delighted that uncle Scotty came up with such a cool trick.
5) Many formerly agnostic participants calling out to their Savior.

Looking for Traction

Mark Finkelstein at Newsbusters:

Just how desperately does the MSM want to bury the Sestak job-bribe story? Yesterday we reported Time editor Rick Stengel's risibly feigned ignorance of the matter.

On Morning Joe today, Joe Scarborough broke off a colorful metaphor to describe the liberal media's see-no-evil approach to the subject, saying the MSM wouldn't cover the story "if Rahm Emanuel announced it in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue wearing nothing but a Speedo."

Many things have to go right for this to become a scandal: Sestak has to resist pressure to lie about what was offered. The press has to cover the story. And the public has to care that it's a crime.

Lumberpinion is that the scandal will never touch Obama anyway. But I would be happy with Rahm being thrown under the bus. Emanuel and Geithner are half of what's wrong with three-quarters of this administration.

More Metal

via, which makes him the sexist, not me

Iron Man Baby? Man Iron Baby? Baby Iron Man?

You really need to watch this one on YouTube. This blog template cuts off wide screen videos.

On the Job

And all we seem to do is criticize.

"The job has been proceeding according to plan"

I don't see how anyone can be worried about the Gulf oil spill. We've got a Nobel laureate on the case. Mother Nature: brace for getting tamed.

"Lower the manifold pressure and clamp under the
diversion valve.... yes, I think this just might work."

***Update:
FLASH: BP HALTS EFFORT AS CRUDE CONTINUES TO SPEW...
Obama no longer takes credit. "I was against it from the beginning."

Art Linkletter RIP

First Martin Gardner, now Art Linkletter has passed away. Hope these things don't always come in threes. Still, it's good that they lived such full lives.

What Did the Gulf of Mexico Say to Obama?

Nothing, it just waved.

Learning to Count

"No, Four! Four years, that's all you get."

photo via

One Solution

Daniel Foster in NRO:

There has always been a certain creepiness associated with the left's coverage of Sarah Palin. If it didn't reach its nadir with Andrew Sullivan's obstetrical obsession, it has surely — one hopes — reached it now, with the news that pulp journalist Joe McGinniss, who is working on a critical book about Palin, has moved into the house next door to the family's Alaska home.

Palin announced on her facebook page that McGinniss's new digs overlook daughter Piper's bedroom and the family swimming pool. Great.

Creepy, yes. My solution would be to train web cams in his direction. Then post images of any stalking behavior in Al Gore's internet. (and in case I haven't said it enough: thank you Al, thank you, thank you)

Har Poster

Bam, in your face, China. Course, there's probably a parallel universe somewhere that has a Chinese poster showing a race being started by the reading of the Arizona immigration law.

Is it Amazing or What

how fast current event themed t-shirts get out there?

Well Darn

Martin Gardner, who teased brains with math puzzles in Scientific American for a quarter-century and who indulged his own restless curiosity by writing more than 70 books on topics as diverse as magic, philosophy and the nuances of Alice in Wonderland, died Saturday in Norman, Okla. He was 95.

3. Out with the Onion
Arrange four paper matches on a table as shown at right. They represent a martini glass. A match head goes inside to indicate the onion of a Gibson cocktail. The puzzle is to move just two matches so that the glass is re-formed, but the onion—which must stay where it is—winds up outside the glass. At the finish, the glass may be turned to the left or the right, or even be upside down, but it must be exactly the same shape as before.

In my youth I used to check the magazine rack faithfully for the next issue of Scientific American, and the first thing I turned to was the puzzles.

Here's another one:

Two missiles speed directly toward each other, one at 9,000 miles per hour and the other at 21,000 miles per hour. They start 1,317 miles apart. Without using pencil and paper, calculate how far apart they are one minute before they collide.

So long Martin. Puzzle in heaven.
(answer to matches, and a few more puzzles)

Quackmander in Chief

They were next to each other on the desktop so I merged them. (and this one is much tamer than the Obama head on the duckling)

Spacetime Curvature

Has anyone else noticed that those space-time curvature graphs ask you to imagine that there's gravity trying to pull you down into the well formed by spacetime distortion? But the graph is there to explain gravity, right? I suspect shenanigans.

Obama's Approval Dips

Daniel Foster at NRO:

Rasmussen has Obama's approval index — strong disapproval subtracted from strong approval — at -20, its lowest point to date. Obama's overall approval/disapproval split stands 42/56, dragged down by poor grades on the economy and the handling of the BP oil spill. The president's national security favorables remain relatively higher at 44 percent.

As Kyle's mom would say"Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat?" National security is his best suit? The Norks don't seem to be shaking in their boots. Iran is as defiant as ever. And still Obama thinks that distancing himself from Israel will lead to a safer middle east.

Where are the benefits from all these offered olive branches and American apologies? When will strength through inoffensiveness start showing dividends?

Must be Video Day

Opposite day has been postponed.

Kung Fu Bear

via

Eeeek!

Cute Time

Head Swap

Truth is, those head swap pictures creep me out just a bit. Maybe because giant baby heads are usually involved.

I figured I'd try doing it just once though, I mean, hey, it's Arlen Specter:

In the News

via (i think)

Something's Wrong Here

Hey, what you doing???

That's not how you make a sandwich!

Good Doggies

Nigel was drunk again, but had trained his dogs to pass
out with him so he wouldn't look so out of place.

Metro-Ché

The camera captures Ché the Raver. This was a few
years before he went Goth on the Cuban people.

Changed Sign

Originally said something about food and drinks, or something, so I fixed it.

Nina Totenberg and Mark Shields Mock Republican

Mark shields...... and .......Nina Totenberg

Tim Graham via Newsbusters:

They say people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But that saying didn't stop NPR's Nina Totenberg and PBS pundit Mark Shields from making fun of the sex appeal of conservative Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana, who resigned this week after admitting an affair with a female staffer.

On the local PBS talk show Inside Washington, Totenberg mentioned the abstinence video Souder made with his lover, and added "I don't know why anybody would want to not abstain with him."

Shields joined in: "Who was it? Henry Kissinger, who said 'power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.' Mark Souder is the real test of that, because a George Clooney look-alike he is not." As if Mark Shields could compare.

Protester Uses Logic

Hard to argue with that.

That Mouse at the White House

Problem: Solved

Inexplicably

Apparently the president got very mad at this glass of water.

Mouse at the White House

The reports were untrue. Plus, Whiskers doesn't appreciate being mistaken for a rodent.

Change Nazi

I should really only take half credit for this one; somebody else did the pink uniform. I only inserted the Prez, touched up his make-up, and changed a few things. The pink Nazi is a great concept though. Makes you wonder: would it have ended differently if the Nazi's brought in an image consultant from the future? Luckily for us, Hitler was terrible at time travel.

***Update:
Sorry, a unicorn would have been great but I had already started on this one:



Caption it: "No Keith, that skirt doesn't make your butt look big; now get in the car."

source, and source

Spontaneous Propagation

Did you see the "Twins" shot of Obama and Medvedev?



And by the way, don't ever try to match facial expressions with Dmitry, he could be a professional mime. It also might upset the balance of the universe:

(clickabiggen)

Bad news: now there's three Marxists in the room.
Good news: the clone is 32% more accepting of capitalism than unadulterated Obama.

The Manly Way to Do It

¡Escapar!

Michelle Obama plays the 'Run It's El Migra' game with school children.

Aren't immigration raids up under the Obama presidency?

***Update, as suggested:



photo via

Ask the Scientist

Can cell phones cause cancer?

Well, possibly. But you'd have to eat an awful lot of them.

First the Chicoms, Now Mexico

"I'd like to apologize for the misguided state of Arizona,
and for the Alamo, and for the Gulf Stream, and for the
atrocious face of Garrison Keillor."

Lost

via