Why is Obama Talking in Front of a Nodding Donkey?

Because nodding donkeys can't run away.

ba-dump-bump

Phosphates

(not my dog, but my dog does this)

Does anyone else remember when you put this powder in the dishwasher and it got your dishes clean? Nowadays you put in the powder and it keeps your dishes company while they get splashed with water.

I think a phosphate ban is responsible. I'd write someone a letter if I thought it'd do any good; and if I could see to write with these curly light bulbs. Maybe I'll complain about it in an encrypted e-mail to a friend. That's the only sure way to get a government employee to read it.

Do You Support the Death Penalty?

This is irresponsible of me; it's a time stealer and tax season is coming up. Ah what the heck, us strong willed types can read a few pages and then put it down whenever we want to:

Patrol sergeant Truman Simons was driving down Franklin Avenue, in downtown Waco, when the call came over the police radio. It was around six-thirty on a summer evening in 1982, and the 39-year-old officer had just returned to his squad car after visiting his wife, Judy. His shift, from three p.m. to one a.m., didn’t allow the couple to see much of each other, so he’d stop by her office when he could, then head back out on patrol. Now it was dinnertime, and Simons had been thinking about grabbing some food, maybe at the Whataburger over on Seventh.

 The call was urgent: a body had been discovered at Speegleville Park, near Lake Waco. Simons, a ruggedly handsome man with dark-brown eyes and a brown mustache, took a deep breath. Waco had been having a violent summer...

 

...Simons crouched down next to her lifeless body. “I don’t know what’s happened to you,” he whispered in her ear, “but I promise you one thing. Whoever did it won’t just go to jail—he is going to pay for this. I promise you that this won’t be another unsolved murder case in Waco, Texas.” 

h/t: wet/dry

Lies, Damn Lies, and Harry Reid's Statements

 We all forget things from time to time but it's much easier to remember the truth. He knew that first accusation was a bunch of bull; so much so that now he can't believe he said it.

His Mom Should Have Named Him "Leland Yikes"

See the concerned face? He's  Leland Yee! (D) a serious guy:

Yee voted "yea" for the proposed California assault weapons ban (SB 374) in 2013. He also voted "yea" for the ban on lead hunting ammunition and "yea" for background checks for ammunition purchases.

Yee was a co-sponsor of SB 755, which expanded the "list of crimes that disqualify an individual from firearm ownership."

 I wonder if the "list of crimes that disqualify an individual from firearm ownership" included illegal arms trafficking. Because that's the crime Yee (D) was just indited for.

So he talks gun control, but only for law abiding citizens. He'll assist criminals  in getting guns.

It's like the PETA group they found clogging Virginia dumpsters with euthanized shelter pets. Or  the satanic rituals I've heard go on in Harry Reid's (D) secret back office. (What? Well no I can't prove it, I'm just saying what I've heard. But I'll just note that Harry Reid has never released a list of animals he hasn't sacrificed and let you draw your own conclusions.)

We'll have to wait and see what Yee's lawyers decide, but I'd recommend the standard Democrat "opposite day" defense.  Examples: "I am really troubled by income inequality, so I'm using the Fed to pump up the stock market, because it's Opposite Day." or "Every American should be able to get health insurance so I'm going to make it more expensive, mandatory, impossible to sign up for, with deadlines that aren't really deadlines... because it's Opposite Day."

On This Week's Episode of Undercover Boss

Nah, Obama only thinks he's the Pope's boss.

Dog Doesn’t Consider Itself Part Of Family

 Onion:

While admitting that he relies on members of the family for food and shelter and is often included in household activities and family photographs, local 6-year-old golden retriever Pepper told reporters Friday that he in no way considers himself part of the O’Donnell family. “Hey, they’re not bad people, and I appreciate that they let me ride in the car sometimes, but do I think of them as my own family members? God, no,” the canine said while scratching behind his right ear with his hind leg...

Cute File!

thanks: lumberbrudi and others

Ever Gotten This Excuse?

Look of Patience

"Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum! Oh I'll never get it. I give up."

Not Above Spreading Anguish

What does NASA stand for? North American Social Analysts?

When I was a boy they built rocket ships and made movies so realistic you would swear that there were actual astronauts on the moon. Now it seems they're branching out. They've commissioned a study on how we're going to collapse into the movie Mad Max:

In unequal societies, researchers said, "collapse is difficult to avoid.... Elites grow and consume too much, resulting in a famine among Commoners that eventually causes the collapse of society."

As limited resources plague the working class, the wealthy, insulated from the problem, "continue consuming unequally" and exacerbate the issue, the study said.

Meanwhile, resources continue to be used up, even by the technologies designed to preserve them. For instance, "an increase in vehicle fuel efficiency technology tends to enable increased per capita vehicle miles driven, heavier cars, and higher average speeds, which then negate the gains from the increased fuel-efficiency," the study said.

The researchers used what they termed a Human And Nature DYnamical (HANDY) formula to reach their conclusions. The formula uses factors such as birth rates, resources, and income classes to create a mathematical equation to project outcomes.

 Ah, they made up a formula to arrive at the same conclusion that Thomas Malthus did back in 1798. And the "formula" of course means they're not the same old tired crop of Malthusians that the world has seen in every generation since 1798. These are Malthusians with a formula!

But that's not what struck me when I read about this study. What struck me was that Obama has lately been talking about income inequality. So he brings it up and, well what do you know, here's a study that says he's right.  And it's brought to you by the same people who said he's right about catastrophic global warming.

And... neither of those subjects have anything to do with building rocket ships.

It looks to me like an administration that thinks nothing of using our tax dollars to shape our thinking.  They use the IRS to hinder their political enemies. They use the EPA to hobble industry,  keep energy expensive, and the recession going. They use the Labor Department to reward political contributors. They use the NSA to spy on absolutely everyone. And they use the National Park Service to make people miserable in furtherance of a political point. 

It is not the Administration's government, it's our government.

If you don't vote in November you deserve Justin Bieber.

Weird

 News of the Weird:

Prison Blues

Norway's prison system is regarded as among the most inmate-friendly in the world, but convicted mass murderer Anders Breivik is still not impressed. Breivik, serving 21 years for the 2011 bomb-and-gun attacks that killed 77 people, may already enjoy amenities unheard of for a comparable American murderer, but he sent wardens 12 demands in November, including an upgrade of his manual typewriter and his PlayStation 2 (to a PS3, with better access to game selection). He also demanded that his weekly government "allowance" (equivalent of $49) be doubled, and said if the "torture" of his living conditions is not relieved, he would be forced into a hunger strike. (Breivik threatened a similar strike in 2012, citing "inhumane" conditions such as cold coffee, lack of skin moisturizer and insufficient butter for his bread.) [Los Angeles Times, 2-18-2014] [BBC News, 11-9-2012] 

and an oldie but a goodie:

A News of the Weird Classic (December 2002)

Driver Leon Humphreys, upset at the minor traffic ticket he had received, demanded in December (2002) that magistrates in the town of Bury St. Edmunds, England, allow him to employ the ancient tradition of "trial by combat" -- in which he would fight someone from the DMV (in England, the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency) over the righteousness of the ticket using samurai swords, Gurkha knives or heavy hammers. Despite Humphreys' insistence that the tradition is still valid under European human rights legislation, the magistrates declined and in fact upped his fine and court costs 12-fold. [Daily Telegraph (London), 12-2-2002] 

Save Us, Superman

Were you ever able to fly in your dreams?

I did it all the time as a kid. Now, not so much, unless you count this one dream in which Hillary Clinton is throwing me out a window. That's sort of flying but it doesn't last long.

Fracking Blamed

Insert fracking joke here:

After widespread speculation by the Twitterverse that fracking caused the earthquake that shook Los Angeles on Monday, three LA City Council members have now moved to begin a study on whether indeed fracking could be behind the seismic event. Councilmen Paul Koretz, Bernard Parks, and Mike Bonin have asked city departments to work with the US Geological Survey, the South Coast Air Quality Management District, and the California Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources to determine whether fracking contributed to the earthquake.

The City Council has already moved to ban fracking within the city. The City Council vote was a unanimous 10-0, with Parks telling the press, “We’ve learned a great deal about the problems with fracking, and it is because of these grassroots groups that we’ve been educated.”

First, I'd note that grassroots groups might not be the best source of education. They have a conclusion and only supply evidence that supports that conclusion. Just like the catastrophic wing of the Global Warming Party.

But also: Don't you want many small earthquakes rather than one big one? The tension at the faults already exists. (put there no doubt by George Bush)  Isn't a more frequent, less intense, equalization of forces desirable? 

If they find that fracking caused this last shakey-shake, should they maybe send a thank you note?

Bieber Stays

OK,  OMMAG, we'll keep him for now. (related: do we have any events scheduled with Mexico in the next few months?)

Where the Heck?

Only funny because there's an outside chance this will end ok for the passengers.

Magic Tube of Mystery

Warning for those who have an unnatural fear of assistance bears: Assistance bears are involved in this video.

Putin on Thin Ice

"If Putin doesn't change his ways, I'm going to unfriend him."

Philosophy for Limbo Success

You too can be a limbo champion.

Ketchup Money Running Out?

It's in the Onion so it's probably true:

MOSCOW—Having waited until the Russian leader was lying facedown on the massage table before quietly slipping into the room behind him, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is said to have posed as a masseuse at a high-end Moscow spa Monday in order to spend a few minutes alone with Vladimir Putin. “You seem very tense, Mr. Putin—how have things been going lately?” the United States cabinet member reportedly said while kneading Putin’s shoulders as gentle panpipe music played around them. “You sure have a lot of knots in your back...

h/t: lumberbrudi

Riverdance

via

Compare Coverage

You only need to watch a minute of this anti-Putin protest in Moscow. I only post it to show how many people were at the "March for Peace" and to ask a question.

You can see that the street is packed and the line goes on for as far as you can see. The crowd is well mannered but vocal. They oppose Russian intervention in Ukraine.

My question is this: Even employing thuggish tactics, can Vladimir Putin keep this out of the mainstream Russian media as thoroughly as the "March for Life" is kept out of American mainstream media?

Which is the propaganda rag, Pravda or the Washington Post?

Democrats Attempt to Cheer Up Keanu Reeves

Found

found - reddit I think

Looks Legit

 

next day....

found.. several places

Cosmos

So are you excited that Cosmos is coming back? (with Neil deGrasse Tyson as the host) Course, it might be a letdown, look at Weekend at Bernies II. But I'm going to give it a chance.

This might be a warning though, President Obama will give an intro. So there's a chance they'll try to shoehorn global warming and healthcare into the mix. "What's odd about dark matter is that we can't see it, much like the CO2 that is slowly choking all living things on earth, even the little puppies."

Hey, and that reminds me. Know what Carl Sagan was? (I mean besides the inspiration that caused affected speech in almost all current TV cosmologists - and some cosmetologists) He was an actual secular humanist. Which means that he promoted humanist ideas. But he didn't feel the need to go all in your face.

“Every  one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees  with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not  find another.”
-Carl Sagan

See? So much more there than the "your skygod is a fairy tale" fare served up by cranky activists these days.

Neil deGrasse Tyson seems ok as well. He claims to be an agnostic, which is cool, but I'm still not sure I forgive him for killing Pluto. He claims he didn't. He claims "All I did was drive the getaway car."

***Update:
Well, meh.  It didn't knock my socks off. Or even one, it didn't knock even one sock off. Hard to say what was so great about the first Cosmos, maybe it was just that then the information was new to me... or maybe the cosmos was different back then. I wouldn't be surprised if the Democrats have ruined the cosmos. You know that's the direction they've been traveling.

I'm Going Back to School

It's California, but still:

SANTA BARBARA – A department of feminist studies professor has been accused of going berserk after coming across a campus prolife demonstration that used extremely graphic displays, leading a small mob of students to chant “tear down the sign” before grabbing one of the signs, storming off with it, then allegedly engaging in an altercation with a 16-year-old prolife protestor who had followed the educator to retrieve it. 

Much of the scuffle was recorded on a smartphone by the 16-year-old, Thrin Short. The yet-to-be-released video is now in the custody of Santa Barbara law enforcement officials, who are investigating the March 4 incident.

The professor at the heart of the controversy is Mireille Miller-Young, an associate professor whose area of emphasis is black cultural studies, pornography and sex work, according to her faculty webpage. She could not be reached for comment Tuesday by The College Fix.

Now I'm no fan of those gore pictures used in abortion protests, though I know there are arguments in favor of their use. I think it's possible to make people understand what abortion is without actually showing it.

Still, a 16 year old shouldn't have to rumble with a sex professor over it. So who is this professor and what does she do when she's not tussling with children? Well, according to the faculty webpage:

Areas of Study:
Pornography; Sex Work; Black Film, Popular Culture and Art; Feminist & Queer Theory; African American & African Diaspora Studies; Visual Archives; New Media; Ethnography; Oral History

---

Education:
PhD. New York University (American History and History of the African Dispora
M.A. New York University (American History and History of the African Dispora)
B.A. Emory University (History)
Dissertation: "A Taste for Brown Sugar: The History of Black Women in American Pornography."

---

Biography:
Mireille Miller-Young, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Feminist Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Her research explores race, gender and sexuality in visual culture and sex industries in the United States. Her manuscript, A Taste for Brown Sugar: Black Women, Sex Work and Pornography (forthcoming from Duke University Press in 2014) examines African American women’s representation and labor in pornographic media.

That's right, you can get a PhD in history for "A Taste for Brown Sugar: The History of Black Women in American Pornography." Does that make you proud to be an American or what? How can our economy be struggling when we've got this kind of depth in education?

So, like we're in a real life Independence Day and the president has called in our best and brightest to figure out how to fight the aliens. The chemists, electrical engineers, and nuclear physicists are all stumped, so the president turns to Dr Miller-Young who offers, "Maybe we could tie them to a washing machine like in After School Booty II."

Cause I'll guarantee you, the aliens won't be expecting it. 

The Religion of Aint Got None

Poor secular humanists. They want the Bladensburg Peace Cross removed from public land. Over the years many automobiles have tried to do just that:

According to the report, the lawsuit names as plaintiffs two local American Humanist Association members and a third individual -- each of whom had "unwelcome contact" with the monument.

Steven Lowe, a plaintiff from Washington, said was "shocked" when he first saw the cross and is "upset" whenever he passes it, according to the complaint obtained by the newspaper.

"Unwelcome" contact? See that's the thing; if you're contacting it, you've got a deficient understanding of how traffic circles work.

OK, I know what they mean. They mean that the image of a cross makes their skin burn and hurts their eyes. Understandable. But the cross has been there for 90 years and so far it hasn't caused anyone to spontaneously combust.

BTW- The Peace Cross was the beacon for the Crossroads Tavern where Roy Buchanan (greatest unknown guitarist that ever lived) played. That's how you gave directions to out of towners: "Go to the Peace Cross, and listen for the guitar."

X-Games Statue Edition

 (clickabiggen)

It looks like America because they put the statue at the top of the wheelchair ramp. But those of us who recognize Bjørnstjerne Biørnson know this must be Bergen, Norway.  What? I'm allowed to have heroes, aren't I?

Bonus: 

)

It's true, a Norwegian girl reading the back of a cereal box is a more beautiful sound than anything that has ever come from Barbara Streisand.  (btw- the words to Ja, vi elsker dette landet, the Norwegian National Anthem, were written by the elderly skateboarder, Bjørnstjerne Biørnson)

Photoshop

I was just playing around with Photoshop. 

Seriously, I've got great rspect for the president.

Two Leaders

(clickabiggen)

Personally, I think it's very inconsiderate of the second one to be demanding the attention of the first one when he knows the first one was overdue for his monthly vacation.

via

All the Kids in the Marketplace Say:

Don't know why, but I think I like this version best.

h/t

Oh what the heck, one more:



Leave a message at the tone.

What Good is It Then?

irony from: B&P

Found

Two things:

Two Papers in One!

James Taranto notices things. Two Papers in One!:

• Mr. Obama is a man of supple intelligence, with a nuanced grasp of complex issues and evident skill at conciliation and consensus-building. . . . Abroad, the best evidence suggests that he would seek to maintain U.S. leadership and engagement, continue the fight against terrorists, and wage vigorous diplomacy on behalf of U.S. values and interests. Mr. Obama has the potential to become a great president."--editorial, Washington Post, Oct. 17, 2008

• "For five years, President Obama has led a foreign policy based more on how he thinks the world should operate than on reality. It was a world in which 'the tide of war is receding' and the United States could, without much risk, radically reduce the size of its armed forces. Other leaders, in this vision, would behave rationally and in the interest of their people and the world."--editorial, Washington Post, March 3, 2014

So now we lead from behind, and hope for the best.

(btw, re Ukraine, there is darned little we can do. That's the reality of the situation. But it's good that the Post notices that "hope isn't a plan")

Some Things I Suppose We'll Never Know

What ever happened to the Clowns for Africa program?

CO2 Plume

Famous outgasser Tim Cook says that if you're a climate change denier you don't need to buy stock in his company, Apple. Meanwhile he's flying around Ireland in a private jet.

I don't mind private jets. I don't mind hypocrisy. But snarky hypocrisy from private jet fliers is where, like Obama, I draw the line.